FabSwingers.com forum: After a first meet

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just want some friendly advice. If you meet someone for the first time. All seems to go well, thank you text/call afterwards and ask for a possible second meet the other person agrees then texts the very next day asking how you are but then ignores all other contact after that. I'm guessing he/she has lost interest but do you not think it would be polite just to send a quick message saying thanks but no thanks??

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Yes, sounds like they either lost interest...or lost their phone!

Certainly would be more polite to send a 'thanks but no thanks' message, but people don't always act the way we would like them to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree, common courtesy

Assume the main reason someone would cut contact is fear of the return mail they may get if they sent a no thanks mail. Think promoting a say no anytime no questions asked ethos is a good agreement to have in place

Not placing any blame on the op I mean in general, I know any thanks but no thanks message I get is returned with a simple thanks for letting me know, would ask not for reasons or expect to be asked for them.

Plus in some cases people need protecting from themselves so just cut contact so they don't change their mind in convo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

manners cost nothing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was the same I met a gentleman. We text a few times after but I decided I didn't want to see him again so I sent a quick message. He was lovely about it. I'm not going to start screaming blue murder or going to his house to stalk him I just am now thinking have I done something wrong. Was the bj crap lol

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By *anatee175Couple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Like people have said if I get a text saying thanks but no thanks I always reply thanks for letting me no. After all we're not everyone's cup of tea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The annoyance in not getting a response is it makes me into an mivering idiot,

Had a good convo with another user was going well. Went to email then the other party stopped responding

Which is fine but now I gotta message again to see if they ok and I end up looking the pushy one, a simple no or even block at least you know where you stand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A bit of common courtesy wouldn't go amiss sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He may not be sure or could have changed his mind, or met someone else.

or could be busy. i never contact a man, i always wait for him to contact me first. I wouldnt contact him again if he hasnt replied to your last message

just find someone else.

most men i find are keen when they want to meet you for the first time, then after a few meets they start taking you for granted and dont worry about being reliable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He wasn't the greatest at texting back before the first meet but I won't be messaging again I just wanted to know if I was being silly or not being a bit annoyed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wanted to know if I was being silly or not being a bit annoyed "

No far from it

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"Just want some friendly advice. If you meet someone for the first time. All seems to go well, thank you text/call afterwards and ask for a possible second meet the other person agrees then texts the very next day asking how you are but then ignores all other contact after that. I'm guessing he/she has lost interest but do you not think it would be polite just to send a quick message saying thanks but no thanks?? "

on this topic about not being honest, I have just declined a meet with someone as he does not meet my criteria and when he asked, I was honest. You do not meet my criteria...I have just been subjected to a barrage of abuse..

Maybe I should have lied...

Oh and he has been blocked and reported.

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By *unloverinkentMan
over a year ago

Frant

I have had this on messages.

Takes very little time or effort to say there has been a change of heart.

But I will admit to sending couples "curt" messages after a long chat they delete and then ignore.

Is plain rude to start a conversation then ignore when they have read and deleted.

Really winds me up as single men have a hard enough tome as it is!!

Manners cost nothing as has already been said.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The few months I've been on here reaffirmed my notion that men in general are crap with keeping in touch. I guess it's a Venus/Mars thing. Women tend to like the odd message; kind of reassurance things are still on an even keel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I will admit to sending couples "curt" messages after a long chat they delete and then ignore."

More part of the problem than the solution. couldn't disagree more at any point of time either party must be able to put a stop to things without risk, if people were nor sending these abusive you hurt my ego bulls**t messages more would be inclined to message if they want to stop contact

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