FabSwingers.com forum: Advice on our lad

By *tuAvr OP Couple
over a year ago

SOUTHAMPTON

Ok, I know this is not the usuall thing, but I'm getting worried. In the past a lot of our condoms have gone missing, including a brand new box of 10. These cost around £10!each. A lot of our toys went AWOL too. The kids seem to knick the batteries from them. About 4 months ago ALL of our vibes and toys disappeared along with lubes. I found them in the back of the airing cupboard. At 1st I thought it was our 13yr old daughter.

But today I went to grb our new vibe butt plug that came today, I placed it in our top draw. It was missing. Looked in all the draws and under bed, no where. I knew it was there as it was only a few hrs earlier I unboxed it and put it there.

So I thought I go and check the bathroom. Our 16yr old lad was having a bath earlier. Low and behold wrapped in his dirty t shirt at the back of the airing cupboard was our new butt plug, and a new tube of lube. Also more condoms missing.

Now how do we react to this and approach it? Is he gay? He spends time over his mates but never talks about girls. Or Is he a typical teen age boy?

Any advice welcome, his mum says she not talking to him, and I should get his dad to do it. ( I'm step)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok, I know this is not the usuall thing, but I'm getting worried. In the past a lot of our condoms have gone missing, including a brand new box of 10. These cost around £10!each. A lot of our toys went AWOL too. The kids seem to knick the batteries from them. About 4 months ago ALL of our vibes and toys disappeared along with lubes. I found them in the back of the airing cupboard. At 1st I thought it was our 13yr old daughter.

Now how do we react to this and approach it? Is he gay? He spends time over his mates but never talks about girls. Or Is he a typical teen age boy?

Any advice welcome, his mum says she not talking to him, and I should get his dad to do it. ( I'm step) "

he obviously aint arsed about covering his tracks....had he cleaned the plug?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could be potentially embarrassing for everyone involved but it doesn't sound like "normal" behaviour.

Definitely a sensitive situation, good luck!

I'm sure talking will help, even if he is mortified to begin with!

Aside from the sex element...he is "stealing" from you

Good luck guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now how do we react to this and approach it? Is he gay? He spends time over his mates but never talks about girls. Or Is he a typical teen age boy?

Any advice welcome, his mum says she not talking to him, and I should get his dad to do it. ( I'm step) "

It's up to his mum to talk to him if you don't take on a dad's role, they're not his dad's toys and there is no way he should be involved in it. If she is unwilling to talk to him though then it's not really that odd that he doesn't talk about his sexual preferences, he will be embarrassed if it's not the done thing in your household.

He's probably experimenting, he may be gay but at least he's practising safe sex. Condoms are free from a family planning clinic, have a brief discussion, provide him with condoms and tell him what he does is up to him and you're okay with it but your toys are off limits as they're your toys. Skirting around the subject screams that there is something to be ashamed of and he'll continue taking because he wants to and he can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd also recommend a better place for sex toys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

strange at fact hes 16..and taking things yet putting them back in other places??

obviously u know its him but if i was 16 and had something i shouldnt id put it back in place where i got it from as to not get caught.

if he is gay...it takes alot for someone to say as they always feel a let down and dont want to dissapoint. is very hard subject to approach even if u get on.

i came out at 16 and was very hard time. but then he may not be gay at all and just be experimenting.

but seems like something needs be said..its just how u feel to approach it. as you know him best

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By *tuAvr OP Couple
over a year ago

SOUTHAMPTON

being gay or not isn't an issue. we are both open. other things have been going. missing, money in the past. I brought some.condoms for him but he just chucked them back. we have asked if he's been taking them. I think I caught him off guard, as I was about.to.give my son a bath and he was in there so I think he hid it quick.

We do need to get a lockable file as the bottom draw Is full now lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"being gay or not isn't an issue. we are both open. other things have been going. missing, money in the past. I brought some.condoms for him but he just chucked them back. we have asked if he's been taking them. I think I caught him off guard, as I was about.to.give my son a bath and he was in there so I think he hid it quick.

We do need to get a lockable file as the bottom draw Is full now lol. "

I'd be more inclined to talk generally about it all, say you'll leave condoms in his room, nobody needs to acknowledge them and talk about how gross it is to share sex toys with your mum, lol! And then obviously acknowledge that you have an open sex life and have tried lots of things and he ever wants to talk about anything then you'll be cool with it???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From his pov very awkward convo. I know I'd not wana think bout parents sex life or talk to them bout it. Does seem odd he's takin toys. In terms of condoms is gd thing he's being safe so maybe a man to man word n give him a box letting him know if wants he can talk To u might be enough

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By *tuAvr OP Couple
over a year ago

SOUTHAMPTON

"I'd be more inclined to talk generally about it all, say you'll leave condoms in his room, nobody needs to acknowledge them and talk about how gross it is to share sex toys with your mum, lol! And then obviously acknowledge that you have an open sex life and have tried lots of things and he ever wants to talk about anything then you'll be cool with it???"

have put them in his room. so direct conversation or drop hints to see if he gets them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have put them in his room. so direct conversation or drop hints to see if he gets them? "

I wouldn't drop hints just talk about hygiene etc. with toys, say you're not saying he is taking them but 'someone' is and they're your property. Talk about discussing it with his dad if your things(incl. money) continues to go missing. Are you 100% sure it's him, still couldn't have been your daughter?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I should add, my personal experience of children only actually goes up to age 10 at the moment but I imagine this is how we would deal with it if/when it ever came to that.

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By *tuAvr OP Couple
over a year ago

SOUTHAMPTON

deffo him. my daughter been with my 6yr old most of the day. plus was.wrapped in. his clothes and I've found.the condom.wrappers in.the bathroom. (sorry about. phone space so small lol)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"deffo him. my daughter been with my 6yr old most of the day. plus was.wrapped in. his clothes and I've found.the condom.wrappers in.the bathroom. (sorry about. phone space so small lol)

So he's using the condoms on the toys? Clever boy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Geting caught stealung ur mums but plug... I must say i feel for the lad

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Approach him in a calm manner and discuss the fact that he is stealing your toys, also be open honest about his sexuality and ask him how he feels and what hes attracted too, but most of all make sure you tell him you will love him no matter what he is.

But stop stealing the sex toys!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be gentle when aproching the subject but may be best if you do it soon and as said give him condoms lock toys away or put lock on your bedroom door or one of these cheap shed alarms in your bedroom that will keep him out but my concern would be money going missing that aint good as where does that end the poss gay matter well that he prob wont want to admit he may just like toys and not bothering about boys or girls but maybe worth buying a toy for him if that is what he likes explain you know he has look yours and explain that not the sort of thing that is for sharing and good luck but tread gentle he may open up but also maybe only female aproach it may make the difrence and no that dad aint a good idear

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope all the advice given in this post is helpful and that you are able to speak to your son and sort it all out calmly.

However, I would also be concerned as to why your children seem to think it's ok to wander into your bedroom and rifle through your things

I understand that you're open about these things with your kids but surely limits have to be set! If I thought a teenager had been handling my toys and stealing the batteries out of them, I'd be mortified! Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly hide your toys and put on lock on the door.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hope all the advice given in this post is helpful and that you are able to speak to your son and sort it all out calmly.

However, I would also be concerned as to why your children seem to think it's ok to wander into your bedroom and rifle through your things

Agree with this. I would also ask what it is you and your partner are getting out of this? After the first instance of CHILDREN stealing your sex toys, you did not find somewhere much more secure to hide them away? There is being 'open' (from your perspective) and being accused of pre-eroticising children - from Social Services perspective!

YOU are the responsible adults in the house - it's YOUR job to sort out keeping your sex toys in a safe place, isn't it.

ted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he just wants an extra rumble pack for his Xbox controller ??

All jokes aside though have to agree with the above and find it a little worrying that you havent kept all your toys locked away / hidden etc.

And to be honest i certainly would not be posting for advice on a swingers site as this is a very sensitive family matter that should be kept between you and your son.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Goodluck with this one.. I remember the day my sister came down to me with my mums vibe, she had it hidden under the drawers in her bedroom, to make things worse she confronted my mum about it!! I woulda been 15 at the time my sister was about 13 the horror on my mums face! Haha I feel for you both! I bought a toy for my sister - now 19 as shes come across my love box haha her face when she saw how many I had.. oops!! At least your son is being smart using condoms and lube and not going out there knocking up some girl he fancied

agree with some of the comments gently gently catchy monkey, dont say you know its him say someone, push the point theyre your toys. Gooodluuuck!!

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

I believe a lock on your bedroom door is needed. He should not be entering your room let alone taking stuff from drawers.

I would actually just talk about that rather than the use of toys . Your bedroom is your private domain.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm no psychologist but could some of this be his reaction to the fact that you're having sex with his Mum and taking his fathers place in that way? I agree that prevention is the first action to take but I think the rest of it should be decided between you and your partner because we don't know the full background. Good luck, we have a boy and a girl now in their twenties we wouldn't go back to them being sixteen again for all the tea in China

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with a lock on your bedroom door. Also your toys are easily found,.. get a suitcase and put everything in in and pit a lick on it n put key in safe place.

Now lads of 16 are just experimenting, full of hormones and always masturbating, it don't mean he's gay!

Saying that he should not be taking your stuff.

Get lock on door and a private suitcase with a lock.

Then get him a few wank mags lube n condoms and put them on his bed!

Anything like a talk would just embarrass him but if it needs doing mum needs to do it its your house and he's your son. You don't have to go in guns ablaze, just laugh it off and be more careful next time with your stuff.

I've a 16 year old and I talk to him openly about everything and we don't get these problems because of it.

Good luck hunz xxx

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

"Maybe he just wants an extra rumble pack for his Xbox controller ??

All jokes aside though have to agree with the above and find it a little worrying that you havent kept all your toys locked away / hidden etc.

And to be honest i certainly would not be posting for advice on a swingers site as this is a very sensitive family matter that should be kept between you and your son.

I agree with all you've said apart from the last paragraph.........where an earth else could they ask for advice and get opinions from ?

I see no problem with asking this on here no body knows who they or their family or son, so I don't see the problem there ...........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ohh I have had three come through the 16 age.. Tricky and very hard.. Lock on your door sounds good.. He's 16 he isn't daft I would imagine he will realise the reason, for the new lock on his parents door and newly aquired condoms you have slipped into his top drawer He's experimenting they all do, but he shouldn't be using your things to experiment with! It's quite frankly unacceptable.. It's hard but mum should have a word, he's her son and knows him better than anyone, good luck

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Buy him his own condoms and vibrator and leave it in his room with a note saying 'don't use mine' with a smiley face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a mother of an 18 yr old boy. It doesn't make him gay if he's playing with butt plugs. After all are you ?

He's just curious and experimenting. All young adults go through it.

The issue for me is the "stealing". He shouldn't be going through your drawers and taking things. He is at an age where he knows that this is wrong and knows that it will be noticed.

Perhaps you should sit all children down together and discuss private space and taking other peoples belongings without permission.

I know its embarrassing speaking to kids about sex and masturbation etc but its part of a parents role unfortunately. If you don't want to chat with him why not buy him his own toy? pop a little note in the box saying "its perfectly normal to be curious but unacceptable to take others belongings... enjoy "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Buy him his own condoms and vibrator and leave it in his room with a note saying 'don't use mine' with a smiley face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now how do we react to this and approach it? Is he gay? He spends time over his mates but never talks about girls. Or Is he a typical teen age boy?

Any advice welcome, his mum says she not talking to him, and I should get his dad to do it. ( I'm step)

Very good post. I agree with going that route.

Good luck xx

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

I agree that a lock on the door is needed.

As has also been said already, teenagers experiment and he may just be trying things to see what he likes but a calm, private conversation is needed just to say that you love him and if there's anything he needs, you'll support him, BUT, although he's using condoms (which is good! - Make sure he gets praise for this) sharing toys can be a hygeine issue so maybe offer to let him keep that one and add that if he wants condoms you can take him to a clinic with people who can supply him with them but also provide honest anonymous advice if he doesn't want to talk to you, or if he wants a vibrator you'll help him buy his own discreetly. - In my eyes, approach it in the same way you would if your daughter asked for one.

The stealing of money and riffling through your personal posessions on the other hand is unacceptable and needs to be addressed accordingly. Maybe invest in a lock box to keep your toys away if you can't lock your door and speak to ALL of your children at once about the issue of stealing money and that there's no need for it. If they ever need anything, to come and talk to you.

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have agree to us this is a privacy and respect thing at 16 he is old enough to understand that going in to your room and going through your draws is wrong regardless of his reasons.

You shouldn't have to have locks on your door at this stage although if younger children are present best to keep them out the way completely. If it was us we would have been laying Down the law after the first instance as its totally unacceptable for him to be going through your things. Both of you should be sitting him and having a frank talk about all of it. Otherwise you won't be able to move forward

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By *tuAvr OP Couple
over a year ago

SOUTHAMPTON

"I'm no psychologist but could some of this be his reaction to the fact that you're having sex with his Mum and taking his fathers place in that way? I agree that prevention is the first action to take but I think the rest of it should be decided between you and your partner because we don't know the full background. Good luck, we have a boy and a girl now in their twenties we wouldn't go back to them being sixteen again for all the tea in China"

not sure if that, we get on really well and he told me I'm the best bloke he's seen his.Mum.with and she's changed fir better. he also aasked said to me about moving in. as fir keeping the toys safe. we have put them in various places and no.matter where they seem to move. they have all been told to stay out the bedroom. sadly today the 12 yr old came and told us that £20 had gone missing from his money box.

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By *tuAvr OP Couple
over a year ago

SOUTHAMPTON

sorry typed last msg on phone.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Oh dear

. Good luck with this hope you get it sorted its a bit of a tangled web isn't it and sometimes things aren't as they seem on the surface.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who are the responsible adults in your house - After getting caught out once you should have learned your lessons and hid them some where else and try locking your door that might be an idea.

I can see another Jeremy Kyle show if your not carful.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Well then the problem immediately becomes more serious.

A family talk is definitely the way to go now. Someone clearly has no respect for you or their siblings..

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By *othingbetterthansexCouple
over a year ago

Accrington

We used to have a problem with our eldest daughter who at the time was only a toddler, and kept emptying our toy drawer so we invested in a secure breifcase type box which we keep locked. The thought of her picking up our toys and doing what toddlers do by chewing them turned our stomach. We're future proof now too when she gets older and curious about sex. Just hope she can feel comfortable talking about intimacy when she's ready

Good luck with your son x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Well then the problem immediately becomes more serious.

A family talk is definitely the way to go now. Someone clearly has no respect for you or their siblings.."

I've been avoiding saying this but I don't see any clear proof other than circumstantial that it is the son and we shouldn't be assuming it is because nine of us know the op let alone the lad.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

"Well then the problem immediately becomes more serious.

A family talk is definitely the way to go now. Someone clearly has no respect for you or their siblings..

*************************************

I've been avoiding saying this but I don't see any clear proof other than circumstantial that it is the son and we shouldn't be assuming it is because nine of us know the op let alone the lad. "

****************************************

Absolutely ! Which is why I said "someone" not assuming which child it could be.. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well we're probably old fashioned as far as a lot of the more liberal minded P.C people on here.

However, the fact that he'd repeatedly stolen your property and didn't even try to hide that fact proves that he is not only a thief but has no respect for you, his mother or anyone else in the house.

What I do know is it would be my boot he'd have up his arse, not a butt plug, and no lube would be used either!

XXXX

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 16/08/13 20:33:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I would say that he is most probably using the condoms on the sex toys (as mentioned above)... since he is getting through a few... He is clearly cleaning the toys and putting them "hidden" in the airing cupboard to dry. We do this with ours.(We don't need to hide them of course.)

He was most probably planning to put them back when the coast was clear.

I used to "put stuff up my bum" when masterbating at his age... Don't worry about it, it's quite common.

I have brought a chest off the internet, for our toys, and secured it with a big padlock... this should keep him out.

I WOULDN'T MENTION IT TO HIM!

He knows you found the toys, you know he took them. But just imagine the pure devastation when his mum starts the "It's ok, if you have been sticking my butt plug up your arse" conversation. It will probably traumatise him for life.

When I was his age, I used to tape the adult channel... my Dad once found the videos... and hid them in his draw. Nothing more was needed to be said.But had he mentioned it to me it would have ruined our relationship.

Once the toys are locked away, then it should be the end of the issue. Buy him some condoms! or get them free for the planning clinic, leave them somewhere for him. He stole them out of a private draw, but if he had access to them, it wouldn't be stealing. And you could guarantee he always has access to condoms. He probably won't go to the clinic for free condoms even if you tell him about it...

I stole some from my parents at about his age... We used them for giant water balloons and threw them off a bridge!

The stealing of money does need addressing, but you don't know it's him... So sit them all down and discuss it. Lay down the law, but don't mention the sex toys, he isn't stupid he knows you know.

Best off luck...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow! All this seems a little awkward. Ash here, thankfully I was raised in a very open and confident family. We all laugh and talk about sex and sex stories. Since a young age. Being a lad on his own would make it difficult for him to talk to anybody about this stuff. I had my brothers. You can all try to be there for him but its always going to be awkward to speak to your parents about stuff. I would buy him a little box. With a few toys in and maybe a note to so it's ok and he should speak to you. That way your not confronting him and making this awkward on the spot. Maybe do it over text ?

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By *lubPartyPeepsCouple
over a year ago

London

Good to see some very thoughtful and supportive posts to this.

Aren't people lovely sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So would it have been ok if your 13 yr old daughter.

Also how do you know it's his butt it's being used on. Maybe he's experimenting with a gf?

I also wonder if he's posting somewhere saying ......." Help I've found my parents sex toys and wonder then if my dad is gay ? I've tried hiding them by wrapping them up in my shirt.

Lol one does wonder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The kids steal batteries from our toys. !!!!

Ffs and your worried your sons gay.

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By *tuAvr OP Couple
over a year ago

SOUTHAMPTON

Hi is Mum here

Wee already gave him condoms.

The toys are in our room in a draw don't want to keep them locked up as are quite open about or sex lives.

The eldest had adhd. Have had all the talks with him. Have also said that if this continues he will have to go to his dads.

Have a Network of people he can talk to. Including a friend Who's also a social worker. Aunts and uncles of varying ages.

Don't want to embarrass him.

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Glad you talked to him but I totally agree with previous advice given about buying him his own toy/s and giving it in a box and locking yours up in a small suitcase. Maybe its something to consider if it happens again.

Yes you might be open about your sex life but him taking them and sharing sex toys with your children, condoms or not is another thing. Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting post. For us it would all boil down to the issue of stealing. I would be reading all the kids the riot act about staying out of our bedroom and staying out of our stuff. No need to even mention the toys.

As for the toys, i would be reading yourselves the riot act. I find it disturbing that sex toys can be found in places where children of any age can nick batteries from them. Ours are much younger than yours and since they could open a cupboard (which they don't in our room) they have been kept in lockable metal filing boxes. Your sex toys going missing is your issue for leaving them where they can easily be found.....

And provide him with a packet of condoms telling him if you need more then ASK.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id not lock my door, id get all the likely children to have done this and make it 100% clear that I don't give a damm what they do intheir lives my MY toys are mine and MY room is private and I will not accept anyone going through my things.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Your son is not the problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your son is not the problem.

Think u will find there's 2 "problems" yes the parents need better hiding spots pref lockable drawer or such. But also the son who is old enough to know what toys are for deliberately going in his parents room taking and poss using these. Beyond the theft aspect it's strange he's ok sharing sex toys with his mum n step dad. Least 3 issues to deal with in this situation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do need to get a lockable file as the bottom draw Is full now lol. "

You give your 16 year old lad a bath ??? :/

Also yes agreed why would you let your kids even take the batteries from your toys? Any children viewing sex material at a young age is wrong. Until they are old enough to understand it...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your son is not the problem.

agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WOW. Is this a wind up?! Why would you think its ok for your kids to know where your toys are and often use for batteries?!

Maybe you should go on jerremy kyle?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your son is not the problem.

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

We do need to get a lockable file as the bottom draw Is full now lol.

You give your 16 year old lad a bath ??? :/

Also yes agreed why would you let your kids even take the batteries from your toys? Any children viewing sex material at a young age is wrong. Until they are old enough to understand it..."

I assumed he meant that he was about to give an infant child a bath and the older son was in the bathroom so had to get out quickly.

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By *omcattyMan
over a year ago

Local

We do need to get a lockable file as the bottom draw Is full now lol. "

I agree its a very sensative situation,,,but dont you think 16 is a bit old to be giving him a bath ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

10 pound for each condom, wonder what they were made of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And they have a Social Worker as a friend! if a social worker openly knows the whole story she should be reported. This whole story has turned my stomach..there is being open about sex but there are certain things that children should not be open to at an early age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And they have a Social Worker as a friend! if a social worker openly knows the whole story she should be reported. This whole story has turned my stomach..there is being open about sex but there are certain things that children should not be open to at an early age. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi is Mum here

Wee already gave him condoms.

The toys are in our room in a draw don't want to keep them locked up as are quite open about or sex lives.

The eldest had adhd. Have had all the talks with him. Have also said that if this continues he will have to go to his dads.

Have a Network of people he can talk to. Including a friend Who's also a social worker

. Aunts and uncles of varying ages.

Don't want to embarrass him. "

You don't want to embarrass him but would ship him off to his dad's sorry just don't get this not really solving the issue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi is Mum here

Wee already gave him condoms.

The toys are in our room in a draw don't want to keep them locked up as are quite open about or sex lives.

The eldest had adhd. Have had all the talks with him. Have also said that if this continues he will have to go to his dads.

Have a Network of people he can talk to. Including a friend Who's also a social worker. Aunts and uncles of varying ages.

Don't want to embarrass him. "

Look, I don't know how to put this any plainer, but countless comments have said the same thing:

This is NOT about your son - It's about YOU TWO.

There is being open about sex, and there is behaviour which could even get the two of you placed on the sex offenders register!!!!!!! FFS!!!!!

Bet your 'social worker friend' has no idea you leave your sex toys where under 16's have unlimited access to them???

I am no prude - not by a feckin long way - but what you are doing is just asking for it. Get a grip people - or you will be in serious shit before very long....

Off to punch a facsimile of Jeremy Kyle!!!!!

ted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread needs to be closed and the OP's take some time out and go and sort your personal stuff out. No offence but this has turned my stomach.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi is Mum here

Wee already gave him condoms.

The toys are in our room in a draw don't want to keep them locked up as are quite open about or sex lives.

The eldest had adhd. Have had all the talks with him. Have also said that if this continues he will have to go to his dads.

Have a Network of people he can talk to. Including a friend Who's also a social worker. Aunts and uncles of varying ages.

Don't want to embarrass him.

Look, I don't know how to put this any plainer, but countless comments have said the same thing:

This is NOT about your son - It's about YOU TWO.

There is being open about sex, and there is behaviour which could even get the two of you placed on the sex offenders register!!!!!!! FFS!!!!!

Bet your 'social worker friend' has no idea you leave your sex toys where under 16's have unlimited access to them???

I am no prude - not by a feckin long way - but what you are doing is just asking for it. Get a grip people - or you will be in serious shit before very long....

Off to punch a facsimile of Jeremy Kyle!!!!!

ted.

Thank you Ted..this is what I wanted to write but as per I would have been reported for not giving 'support and advice'. To have to come on a swingers site to ask advice in the first place raises a parenting problem to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell him off for stealing, and hide your sex toys better. Do not talk to him about your perversions and toys for gods sake he is 16, he shouldn't have access to them period. It would be embarrassing and unfair on the lad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also this is not an appropriate forum for this subject, period.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also this is not an appropriate forum for this subject, period."

Absolutely ! Some are also forgetting this is technically a minor that is being discussed !

Close this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Parents need reporting end of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Also this is not an appropriate forum for this subject, period.

Absolutely ! Some are also forgetting this is technically a minor that is being discussed !

Close this thread. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now how do we react to this and approach it? Is he gay? He spends time over his mates but never talks about girls. Or Is he a typical teen age boy?

Hate to state the obvious here but he could be gay AND a typical teenage boy.

Has anyone spoken to him about sex already?

Do you have a good relationship with him?

How long have you been in his life?

Were the toys used or just hidden?

There are lots of factors to take into consideration in dealing with this and without the full picture and advice is redundant.

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

Hmmmmmm........such a shame that some people have not read through the thread properly and come to the wrong conclusion regarding some issues, and also can't believe how nasty some of the posts are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can this thread be closed?

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By *exystargirlWoman
over a year ago

Warrington

"Can this thread be closed?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmmmmmm........such a shame that some people have not read through the thread properly and come to the wrong conclusion regarding some issues, and also can't believe how nasty some of the posts are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi is Mum here

Wee already gave him condoms.

The toys are in our room in a draw don't want to keep them locked up as are quite open about or sex lives.

The eldest had adhd. Have had all the talks with him. Have also said that if this continues he will have to go to his dads.

Have a Network of people he can talk to. Including a friend Who's also a social worker. Aunts and uncles of varying ages.

Don't want to embarrass him.

Look, I don't know how to put this any plainer, but countless comments have said the same thing:

This is NOT about your son - It's about YOU TWO.

There is being open about sex, and there is behaviour which could even get the two of you placed on the sex offenders register!!!!!!! FFS!!!!!

Bet your 'social worker friend' has no idea you leave your sex toys where under 16's have unlimited access to them???

I am no prude - not by a feckin long way - but what you are doing is just asking for it. Get a grip people - or you will be in serious shit before very long....

Off to punch a facsimile of Jeremy Kyle!!!!!

ted.

"
Well said took the words right out my mouth, unbelievable

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

And I think we can leave it there...

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