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First time as couple?

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By *riendlyfunfem OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Have been seeing my partner for six months now and we are thinking of getting together as a couple, lots to talk about yet, but I would like to hear comments and advice from couples who have been swinging for a while, what was is like when you first started? How was your first couple/couple meeting? Thanks in advnce.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Congrats in finding a swinging partner!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My current partner and I have been together for 1 year tomorrow (Yippee, hooray and all that).

We met at Chameleons, which meant we were both well into the swinging scene, however, we never played with anyone else for about 6 months.

We needed to get to know each other first, we still went to the clubs, we still met up with our swinging friends but we felt it was important to be together as one of those weirdo couples first (y'know the weirdos, they don't swing).

For us one of the most important aspects of swinging is trust, and we needed to earn each others trust as a couple together before we played with others.

I believe this has been a successfull approach because we now enjoy a full swinging life together, playing whenever we meet compatible people who we BOTH want to play with but still enjoying the social side of the scene together.

Even though you have been seeing each other for a while, personally we would try our approach for a while before you leap to meet others, a relationship needs building and trust needs building, it is totally different to occasional meeting up with each other, trust needs to be built and you have to get to know each others wants and needs, likes and dislikes.

But that's just our opinion.

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By *riendlyfunfem OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own

We certainly won't be leaping to do anythng, its agreed we need to have many discussions and lay down ground rules etc before even putting a profile together etc.. We have spent a lot of time together over the six months we've known each other, getting together once ot twice a week and not just for sex. As I said this is in the very early stages of discussion and all views, advice, experiences of others will be more than welcome, thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not suggesting you would do otherwise hun obviously you know more about your personal life/situation than we do and am sure you will make your decisions wisely but just thought our advice could help you and others reading the thread to see one side of the story

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By *riendlyfunfem OP   Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own


"Not suggesting you would do otherwise hun obviously you know more about your personal life/situation than we do and am sure you will make your decisions wisely but just thought our advice could help you and others reading the thread to see one side of the story

"

You post was very helpfull thanks, very good advice, thank you.

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We started swinging not long after we'd met; we were lying in bed watching a video filmed in la Chambre and thought we'd like to give it a try, and were glad we did. So we more or less started off our relationship as swingers. It seemed a great way to enjoy sex with other people (which we accept that we both genuinely need) without the hidden affairs which destroyed our previous marriages.

If you're confident in your relationship and are highly sexed, give it a try. It won't work if either of you isn't happy with it, watching your partner with somebody else either make or breaks your relationship. It has brought us much closer together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We had been married for 25yrs when we started swinging, so you could say that we knew each other quite well, but we still had a few "sticky" moments during our first few play meets. The social meets were ok, but, when we made our ground rules, we didn't account for everything that could occur, and looking back, I don't think anybody does really.

But we've been playing 20months now, and we are very happy "where we're at" if you understand what I'm saying.

As long as you are secure in your relationship, as long as you communicate with each other, and as long as you are there to support each other, you will be ok. Go for it, and enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On the other hand I had been swinging about a month and visited Chameleons about 4 times as a single when I met my ex Kaynie who I met in a vanilla chatroom, she was 17 years old and her chatname back in those days was "Bi_Pixie" so I knew she already had an alternative lifestyle.

I took her to Chameleons after only 3 days together and we continued going for the 6 years we were together never having a problem brought about by our swinging lifestyle.

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By *lay69withusCouple
over a year ago

herefordshire

we were school sweethearts, got together at 16, married at 21. we are now both 34 and started swining last april. our first meet was nerve racking, like being a school kid agian.

the couple were so nice it was like we had been friends together for years.

if you are both open and honest about what you want and your relaitionship is strong, then go for it. its great.

just make sure it stays open about what you BOTH want.

enjoy!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"On the other hand I had been swinging about a month and visited Chameleons about 4 times as a single when I met my ex Kaynie who I met in a vanilla chatroom, she was 17 years old and her chatname back in those days was "Bi_Pixie" so I knew she already had an alternative lifestyle.

I took her to Chameleons after only 3 days together and we continued going for the 6 years we were together never having a problem brought about by our swinging lifestyle."

Apologies to the OP for going off topic but knowing nothing about clubs: do they allow children in?!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find your comment offensive, the age of consent in this country perhaps you should read the law before insulting people, either live your own life and let others live thiers or shut up, the forums are not the place for sarcastic insulting remarks as has been widely publicised recently.

In answer to your question, no clubs generally have an age limit of 21 for females and 25 for males but it is thier own choice, since the club was not licensed the law would set the age limit for entry as 18 but at that time neither myself or the club were aware of her real age as she proclaimed to be 19 when we met.

As the club is regiesterd as a private members and not a sex club no laws were actually broken.

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden

[Removed by poster at 06/02/10 21:15:52]

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By *umourCouple
over a year ago

Rushden


"I find your comment offensive, the age of consent in this country perhaps you should read the law before insulting people, either live your own life and let others live thiers or shut up, the forums are not the place for sarcastic insulting remarks as has been widely publicised recently.

In answer to your question, no clubs generally have an age limit of 21 for females and 25 for males but it is thier own choice, since the club was not licensed the law would set the age limit for entry as 18 but at that time neither myself or the club were aware of her real age as she proclaimed to be 19 when we met.

As the club is regiesterd as a private members and not a sex club no laws were actually broken.

"

Hey Jed

Can understand you finding that "child" comment offensive! The age of consent in the UK is 16 and as long as now laws were broken, no harm done!

We remember both you and Kaynie from another site where she became a single fem for a while. Not the sort to be dragged anywhere she didn't want to go!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I asked a question in response to something you felt happy to disclose on an open, public forum. I've read comments you've made to others that have left me speechless.

You may find me calling a 17 year old a child, but child she was!

Personally I wouldn't have mentioned it as surely you must appreciate some one would have felt uncomfortable reading that?!!

Thing with open forums people have the opportunity to voice their opinions and I'm voicing mine!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the only child I see around here are those with narrow minds who make snide comments in the hope of finding an obviously obscure sense of humour, have your opinion but when it involves snide offensive comments keep them to yourselves.

Matter closed and I will not be drawn into further conversation on this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find your comment offensive, the age of consent in this country perhaps you should read the law before insulting people, either live your own life and let others live thiers or shut up, the forums are not the place for sarcastic insulting remarks as has been widely publicised recently. "

My apologies to the OP for going off topic, and I'd like to point out that I have no desire to cause a row, but...... that really is rich coming from you!!

If my memory serves me correctly, you were one of the first to tear into the OP in the recent "Tits" thread and quite frankly, I'm surprised that you escaped a forum ban. I can only assume that you have friends in high places here!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was banned, for offering my services to the wife of someone cheating on his partner and assisting in his tits question by checking out his wifes tits.

I served my ban, accepted my punishment as correct, whilst others who also made similar comments were not banned ?

Two wrongs don't make a right and I learned from my mistake, let us hope that others do too.

I did not imply someone here was a paedophile taking children to swingers clubs or bringing children into the swining scene.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find your comment offensive, the age of consent in this country perhaps you should read the law before insulting people, either live your own life and let others live thiers or shut up, the forums are not the place for sarcastic insulting remarks as has been widely publicised recently.

My apologies to the OP for going off topic, and I'd like to point out that I have no desire to cause a row, but...... that really is rich coming from you!!

If my memory serves me correctly, you were one of the first to tear into the OP in the recent "Tits" thread and quite frankly, I'm surprised that you escaped a forum ban. I can only assume that you have friends in high places here!!

"

I don't think I need to add anything further as this poster has made it for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At this moment I would rather give my thoughts to the children serving this country in Afghanistan, children of just 17 who are putting thier lives on the line for people who think they are not old enough to be treated as adults.

Children like me who served two active duties at the age of 18, you insult the young soldiers of this nation calling them children when they are dying for you.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

Just to clarify, the only person who knows they have a ban or have had a ban on the forums are the people who have had the ban, the mod who banned them and Admin.

If they choose to mention it ,it is up to them but no one else would know who gets banned or for how long.

If a person asked a question on a public forum after someone offered information....then people should really either answer that question or choose to ignore rather than tell people to shut up.

As for old news, ie the tits thread, a line has been drawn under it....today is another day.

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