FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

The fetish scene

Jump to newest
 

By *xcum OP   Man
over a year ago

kidderminster

I would love to get into this side things, just love the clothing, whips , crops all of it and I would defenatly be a sub. I have been to a few events but what puts me off so much is the small talk , yes mistress no mistress thank you mistress. Now that does my head in, to me it turns a very sensual experience into a child's game and it makes it feel wrong. Like I said I love everything else. So is it a none starter for me ? Advice would be good on this one

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

You could find a Dom who forces you to be silent - ball gag anyone?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on the lady or ladies your being dommed by.. I attended 'strapped' (in Walsall)over the new year to satiate my curiosity about all things BDSM... Perhaps not the wisest event to attend as a first timer... I still can't believe I did it!

Once there, I felt so very vanilla, dressed in jeans and a shirt, hiding behind my smartphone, whilst everyone else was donning any combination of latex, big boots, spiky heels and bits of rope!

However my anti-socialness didnt last long...I apparently caught the eye of a very sexy lady who decided she'd had enough of shyness and somehow, managed to get me down to my undies within 5 minutes!!

I was completely naked soon thereafter..and was subjected to intense scratching, caressing, spanking, flogging and the most sensual kissing.. I'm still not sure how I feel about it all.. I do know I'm not cut out for too much pain..and my bottom is very sensitive.. In fact, at one point my screams were so loud, another mistress got annoyed, left the sub she was working on and gave me a spanking session ill soon not forget!!

So...um..yep... Ultimately it all is dependent on the understanding and attitudes of those in charge. My mistresses knew I was a novice and really helped me explore and reach my limits in a sensual albeit ouchie way. The lingering kiss I received when she told me how proud she was of me, still remains memorable.

Personally, my experience taught me two things. I'm very open to trying new things, and that my pain threshold isn't made for BDSM.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in a relationship without the yes sir etc and I find it hard to stay focused. The words are on my lips.

It's respect as far as I see it...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oveSlutForUseCouple
over a year ago

Brighton


"I would love to get into this side things, just love the clothing, whips , crops all of it and I would defenatly be a sub. I have been to a few events but what puts me off so much is the small talk , yes mistress no mistress thank you mistress. Now that does my head in, to me it turns a very sensual experience into a child's game and it makes it feel wrong. Like I said I love everything else. So is it a none starter for me ? Advice would be good on this one"

Respect is very important. I would say you don't quite have the correct outlook for a sub.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *tirling DarkCouple
over a year ago

Stirling


"You could find a Dom who forces you to be silent - ball gag anyone?"

An inflatable ball gag I hope

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would love to get into this side things, just love the clothing, whips , crops all of it and I would defenatly be a sub. I have been to a few events but what puts me off so much is the small talk , yes mistress no mistress thank you mistress. Now that does my head in, to me it turns a very sensual experience into a child's game and it makes it feel wrong. Like I said I love everything else. So is it a none starter for me ? Advice would be good on this one"

Are you going to full on fem-domme events? Not all play events are like that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton


"I would love to get into this side things, just love the clothing, whips , crops all of it and I would defenatly be a sub. I have been to a few events but what puts me off so much is the small talk , yes mistress no mistress thank you mistress. Now that does my head in, to me it turns a very sensual experience into a child's game and it makes it feel wrong. Like I said I love everything else. So is it a none starter for me ? Advice would be good on this one

Respect is very important. I would say you don't quite have the correct outlook for a sub."

I agree with this, my partner is my Master, and I still address him as Sir, it is the respect.

If your looking for just play then it may work.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I would love to get into this side things, just love the clothing, whips , crops all of it and I would defenatly be a sub. I have been to a few events but what puts me off so much is the small talk , yes mistress no mistress thank you mistress. Now that does my head in, to me it turns a very sensual experience into a child's game and it makes it feel wrong. Like I said I love everything else. So is it a none starter for me ? Advice would be good on this one"

There should be no need for you to say Mistress unless you choose to attend a high protocol event. If it is not a high protocol event and women are demanding to be called Mistress, that (in my eyes) is non consentual. If you call a lady Mistress at a low protocol event without consent, that's not right either.

Why don't you look for munches (meetings for kink friendly people usually held in vanilla venues) where you can meet people and get to know your local crowd. Not everyone is into the high protocol, 24/7, TPE full on D/s style relationship-there is a whole spectrum of kinksters so you are more likely to find someone on your wavelength by meeting more people.

Just because you don't want to call someone Mistress, that doesn't not make you a submissive. Everyone is different and likes their D/s in different doses. I respect those that choose to call their Dom/Master Sir/Daddy/Master or Domme/Mistress Ma'am/Madam/Mummy as much as those who choose to practice D/s solely in the bedroom. It doesn't make their relationship any less valid or important.

Get out there and have fun! Keep it safe, sane and consentual-you can't go wrong.

crystal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Crystal beat me to it.

Everyone is different and wants different things from their play. There are a lot of Dom's/Domme's out there that are not bothered about a term of address.

For example I don't require any term of address apart from my name. However if a sub I am playing with feels a desire to use a more formal term of address then that's all good to, you know it's amazing how people slip into using those terms without even realising it when they are with a Dom/Domme on their wavelength.

I do agree with the respect statements above, just think of this. Imagine the person that you would choose to use those terms with.... They'd have to be pretty special to you I'd imagine

It is all weird and strange at first. You haven't done much atall how can anything feel natural and normal.

You do have a say on what form any relationship or play would take aswell. You may get refused play because of it but then you may not aswell lol.

Explore in a way you want but don't just write it all off because of one thing. You'll wonder for the rest of your life if you do....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *xcum OP   Man
over a year ago

kidderminster

Ok thanks for the advice but I'm still very confused by it all, it's like learning a new lifestyle , but yes I so much want this. The meets I've been to have been proper jobs even went to a private house but all the people where all very experienced and been in it for years but every time I've had a play I've been corrected to address them by master, mistress so I've had to go along with it Wish there was a local amateur group I could join that way I could grow with it and find my own path. I've looked into paying for this as a service but again I get "yes what ! Yes mistress " and everytime it just kills it Is there any such thing as a silent order lol thanks all for the replies x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Get to munches and the like you need to meet people on your wavelength that are prepared to let you find your feet.

There is a thought pattern that a Dom/Domme has to be a certain way so you will see a lot of people behaving in that way.... Doesn't make it right or what you are after though...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Oh... And yeah there is definitely a silent order! When you know someone well enough it can be as simple as a 'look'.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a good scene in the Nidlands and in Birmingham in particular - just get involved.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love posts like these they are my fav ones to read as im still learning this kinda life as well but I take my hat of to op for going and trying out the munchesI have yet to go to one of these . Good luck op and dnt be put off xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *--Cinders---Couple
over a year ago

a place near Blackpool

I love posts like these myself, I am a learner and have a male friend who is introducing me into the scene, he has been into the scene for many years..It is a whole new world to me but a very interesting one..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be very happy if you can find a good Fetish scene. It is non existent in my part of the UK

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ns2006Couple
over a year ago

milton keynes

For us its all about the physical sensations not the 'mind games', so we play at local events as Top/Bottom rather than as Domme/Sub.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top