FabSwingers.com forum: telling new partner about swinging

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

please can we have serious response.

in addition to my last post. i may have a girl friend soon. and am thinking i need to tell her that a met a couple from here. she would also have a history but prob not swinging lol

how have you and your partners talking about it at first?

i dont want to get her in to swinger btw but feel i need to tell her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you know she won't like the idea of swinging? She could dump you over it?

So would you carry on swinging even tho you might be in a relationship soon and expect her to accept it or stop?

If you are going to stop and you not in a relationship with her when you met this couple then like you said she got a history same as you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

im going to stop.

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By *ourgeMan
over a year ago

stourport nr kidderminster

ive have no this girl for some time , and and we jump into bed together from time to time,and have been up front with her ,and have told her that am on this to meet with other people , and she wanted to no more bout it all ,have not pushed her at all . ive let her think bout swinging her self , and the more i leave it, the more she wants to no ,so all can say is to tell your girlfriend , and let her do the asking when she wants to,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

obviously she will want to know about history.. when we start to talk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"obviously she will want to know about history.. when we start to talk."

Tell her then,best to be honest and you are going to stop.

Everyone has a past.

You never know she might want to swing too...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

the thought of telling can be quite scary tho! i did tell to of my best girl friends that i had a 3some with a couple and they didnt mind at all! they started to also talk!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why tell her if your going to stop?

We're all for honesty, but if its something your going to stop doing, then why feel the need to tell her.

And do you really see yourself as a swinger? because from the replies you've given it seems your here only for the short term.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"please can we have serious response.

in addition to my last post. i may have a girl friend soon. and am thinking i need to tell her that a met a couple from here. she would also have a history but prob not swinging lol

how have you and your partners talking about it at first?

i dont want to get her in to swinger btw but feel i need to tell her."

well if you have got yourself tested and you in the clear from anything dont tell her. As long as you have stopped the swinging. Past is the past, concentrate on the future if she is the one for you good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A few questions.....

Are you hoping this lady may want to swing too? doesn't mean you're bad if you hope so, so long as you don't push her.

Are you concerned about her history? maybe she is not so concerned with yours.

What if she has also or is a swinger?.

What makes you say you might have a girlfriend soon? seems like a lot of fussing if it's only a might.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He has already stated he doesnt want her to swing.

To me thats another single male with the attitude "I will shag your slapper of a partner" but there is no way I would let a girlfriend of mine swing.

Any help I try to give on here is to fellow swingers not chancers who aren't real swingers

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By *lgernonMan
over a year ago

cupar

"He has already stated he doesnt want her to swing.

To me thats another single male with the attitude "I will shag your slapper of a partner" but there is no way I would let a girlfriend of mine swing.

Any help I try to give on here is to fellow swingers not chancers who aren't real swingers

Sounda about right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He has already stated he doesnt want her to swing.

To me thats another single male with the attitude "I will shag your slapper of a partner" but there is no way I would let a girlfriend of mine swing.

Any help I try to give on here is to fellow swingers not chancers who aren't real swingers

I realise that, but with that statement you can take as you did, that he doesn't want to share his partner but happy to with others, or that he is trying to say he is not wanting to talk her/push her into it, before anyone jumps down his throat at the thought of it.

Hence why I asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He has already stated he doesnt want her to swing.

To me thats another single male with the attitude "I will shag your slapper of a partner" but there is no way I would let a girlfriend of mine swing.

Any help I try to give on here is to fellow swingers not chancers who aren't real swingers

Sounda about right."

Bloody hell guys, hung drawn and quartered already.

glad nobody jumps to the worst of conclusions here so quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

every sinner has a future every sinner has a past.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how have you and your partners talking about it at first?

i dont want to get her in to swinger btw but feel i need to tell her."

Let me explain, here to me he asks the question of how did we first discuss it with our partners, then it would seem he may well have jumped to the defence by expressing he isn't wanting to talk her into it, when after asking the question he may have thought I had better explain or people will jump to the wrong conclusions.

If indeed you are right about his beliefs/attitude then I too would have no advice for him, but I don't want to jump to the wrong conclusion and so asked my own questions.

depending on the answers to my questions depends on my answer to his.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the statement

"i dont want to get her in to swinger btw but feel i need to tell her."

seems pretty open and shut to me, he didn't say he didn't mind her not wanting to swing or he didn't want to push her into swinging or even ask her if she would like to, he said

"I dont want her to get into swinging"

Who is jumping on whose statements here ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

aww put the handbags down ladies!!!!

at the end of the day he has to be commended for telling her not many a man would!!

so maybe he is just here as a quick way of gettin a fuck but lets face it as we all know you need to be a fantastic single guy to get meets!!

and if irony is alive and well he will tell her and she will be a member on here and he doesnt know lol!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the statement

"i dont want to get her in to swinger btw but feel i need to tell her."

seems pretty open and shut to me, he didn't say he didn't mind her not wanting to swing or he didn't want to push her into swinging or even ask her if she would like to, he said

"I dont want her to get into swinging"

Who is jumping on whose statements here ?"

and that was straight after his question of.....

'how have you and your partners talking about it at first?'

which could also suggest he is concerned people may read his post wrong.

Come on Jed, this isn't the first time you've jumped to conclusions.

You may notice, I gave no advice, as I wasn't, and still not sure of the intentions, I did ask questions in the hope to realise the meaning behind it.

I also didn't abuse the guy, I don't feel the need, until I believe his statement to be in bad taste.

You're better than this Jed, don't hang the guy because you suspect something, wait until there is proof.

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By *oe_Steve_NWestCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"please can we have serious response.

in addition to my last post. i may have a girl friend soon. and am thinking i need to tell her that a met a couple from here. she would also have a history but prob not swinging lol

how have you and your partners talking about it at first?

i dont want to get her in to swinger btw but feel i need to tell her."

Don't sweat it - I'd wait and see how the relationship develops - why would you even bring up swinging initially? See how it goes, you might get talking one night about this and that - fantasies etc and you could gently bring up the topic then. You can be whatever you want to be in a new relationship so don't feel that you need to tell all - and that isn't being deceitful - but make sure you're honest going forward. Z

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope I am wrong and you are right, I sincerely do, I hope that like many of my posts he has jsut chosen his words badly and that he is not one of the many guys who think along the lines I have spoken of.

My distrust comes from 6 years as a couple and going to clubs, then becoming a single guy, I was treated far different as a single guy, not as some may think just by couples, but mostly by other guys, we would chat and pass away the time and I was shocked at the attitude of so many of them, talking to "one of the lads" thier true feelings were shown and the disrespect they had for the couples and single females they played with was disgusting.

Now I know there are a lot of decent guys too and many of them chatted to, the difference between those and the disrespectfull ones was imense but I can never forget the experience the bad ones showed me.

So I will apologise unreservedly to this guy if it is just bad wording but sadly it is a common attitude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think what the guy is asking is when you are in a new relationship then when you are getting to know each other you do want to know about your past ect..

The OP has said he will give up swinging if something comes of this and he just wants to honest.

To me there is nothing wrong with with being honest and if he wants to tell her about his past then good on him.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

is it just me or am I missing something in the fact te the OP's opening statement is " I MAY have a girlfriend soon"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

u only had one meet so theres nothing to tell her is there or is it u have a g/f and u been found out lol

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I don't quite get the "need to tell her" bit .... especially if your swinging activities only consist of a couple of experiences in a stop-gap period whilst foot-loose and fancy free; which will be ending as a result of having a girlfriend.

I understand the need to be honest if asked.

I understand the need to explain it before starting a relationship if it is an established lifestyle choice you will wish to be involved with again in the future.

But to feel the "need" to tell someone who you've had sex with in the past... I don't get it at all.

Will you be asking her to detail every type of sexual experience she's ever had at the begining of your relationship?

Please explain what is driving this 'need'... is it guilt?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im going to stop."

right my seriously responce to this is if you met this couple before you and said woman got serious then i see no reason to tell her, what i do with my life as a single is my buisness, i do not feel i need to tell any partners in the future what i do so long as im not carrying on doing it behind their back, and i see it the same visa versa, what a man did before he met me is none of my buisness, if you want to tell her just tell her, but i really dont feel its your duty to tell her

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By *ickmealloverWoman
over a year ago

a very plush appartment off junt 7 M5

I agree

If your stopping to persue a relationship with this lady, she does not need to know all that you did before

All she needs to know is that you think she's cute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi there, i got into swinging because the guy i am dating was into swinging as a single male..he told me in a second conversation and all that it did was intrigue..and that intrigue built from there and resulted in our first trip to Chams (darlaston last weekend) Oh what fun..Hope this hepls, i believe honesty is the best policy..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hi there, i got into swinging because the guy i am dating was into swinging as a single male..he told me in a second conversation and all that it did was intrigue..and that intrigue built from there and resulted in our first trip to Chams (darlaston last weekend) Oh what fun..Hope this hepls, i believe honesty is the best policy.."

When I first got together with Colleen, one night we discussed experiences, I expressed I have swung since pretty much being a teen, she confessed she had also had a group session and loved it, from there we, well we ended up here.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

"please can we have serious response.

in addition to my last post. i may have a girl friend soon. and am thinking i need to tell her that a met a couple from here. she would also have a history but prob not swinging lol

how have you and your partners talking about it at first?

i dont want to get her in to swinger btw but feel i need to tell her."

As you have said you MAY have a girlfriend SOON. So although you are not with her yet you are already looking to swing with her. I apologise if I am wrong but you look a desperate single male looking for a female just so you can meet the couples who will not meet single males.

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