FabSwingers.com forum: How would you respond to this question?

By *moothies. OP Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe

just been to the GP for a girly medical issue and the elderly female GP asked if I was married (I replied yes), then she asked if I was faithful.....

what should have been my reply considering this lifestyle we lead?

hubby cried with laughter when I told him my reply so I wondered what others would've said. I'll fess up later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"just been to the GP for a girly medical issue and the elderly female GP asked if I was married (I replied yes), then she asked if I was faithful.....

what should have been my reply considering this lifestyle we lead?

hubby cried with laughter when I told him my reply so I wondered what others would've said. I'll fess up later

"
Im not being faithful and ive never been asked that, but then my gp is a male, anyway, none of their business would be my reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well you state safe sex in your profile and as long as you don't meet without the others' knowledge we would say yes you had been faithful.

Not sure why hubby found it so funny though, some people may infer (wrongly or otherwise) that one of you has cheated on the other without protection.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was the question in context to the reason for being at the Drs,if not then id find it offensive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A friend of mine who's a GP asked that question of a male patient once but that was due to a particular discharge

yuk!

The question may have been relevant in your case but depends on context as condoms don't always prevent sti's or pregnancy

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By *uriousBristolCplCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Was the question in context to the reason for being at the Drs,if not then id find it offensive "

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By *moothies. OP Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe

it was a gynae issue, but it was just the way she asked. if u go to the GUI clinic for check ups they ask how many partners so it threw me.

hubby laughed because I said "yes" rather indignantly then followed it up with "but we have sex with other people together"!

she was nice enough but maybe just bad wording lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My reply would have been, I swing and have sex with girls and guys. Doctors have heard it all before. Sex Clinic Doctors what to know who where when and what holes were filled. x

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By *aveandkate35Couple
over a year ago

telford

I would have said yes, I'm faithful, just not monogamous.

The only time I see any of this as being unfaithful is if its done without a partners knowledge/ consent.

Probably bad wording on the gp's part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she thinks you've caught something?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yep , i would assume the g p suspects a sexually transmitted infection but wanted to check if your sexual history would warrant further testing , I think you did yourself no favour by implying that you are monagamous , you may have the early symptoms of something which is beeter treated sooner rather than later .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have said yes, I'm faithful, just not monogamous.

The only time I see any of this as being unfaithful is if its done without a partners knowledge/ consent.

Probably bad wording on the gp's part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have said yes, I'm faithful, just not monogamous.

The only time I see any of this as being unfaithful is if its done without a partners knowledge/ consent.

Probably bad wording on the gp's part.

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

weird question like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yep , i would assume the g p suspects a sexually transmitted infection but wanted to check if your sexual history would warrant further testing , I think you did yourself no favour by implying that you are monagamous , you may have the early symptoms of something which is beeter treated sooner rather than later . "

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"just been to the GP for a girly medical issue and the elderly female GP asked if I was married (I replied yes), then she asked if I was faithful.....

what should have been my reply considering this lifestyle we lead?

hubby cried with laughter when I told him my reply so I wondered what others would've said. I'll fess up later

could have replied "only if shagging your hubby doesn't count"

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By *moothies. OP Couple
over a year ago

Woodthorpe

luckily I'd had the all clear for STIs at the clinic and was sent to GP for a girly issue so after she found those results it's full steam ahead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think I'd have answered the same way OP. I always tell the clinic that I live a swinging lifestyle and am 100% honest about what I do with who, they have see & heard it all before.

Last time I went the nurse doing my check up was really fascinated by the life style, especially the club scene.

I'm always honest about what I do as I'm not embarrassed by it. The lads at work tried to embarrass me about my "nocturnal adventures" (their phrase not mine) and failed dismally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep I think I would of squirmed in my seat! I agree that it's not unfaithful at all with the partners knowledge, especially if he's there. I probably would fess up and tell the truth!! They may even dabble themselves

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"Well you state safe sex in your profile and as long as you don't meet without the others' knowledge we would say yes you had been faithful.

Not sure why hubby found it so funny though, some people may infer (wrongly or otherwise) that one of you has cheated on the other without protection....."

Why would they think that??? What an odd assumption to make

Also what does playing safe have to do sleigh being faithful?

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Do with being faithful

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"just been to the GP for a girly medical issue and the elderly female GP asked if I was married (I replied yes), then she asked if I was faithful.....

what should have been my reply considering this lifestyle we lead?

hubby cried with laughter when I told him my reply so I wondered what others would've said. I'll fess up later

I would have thought the person asking should mind their own business. Surely there's something in the medical profession about "not judging"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the vanilla world if a doc asks are u married ? R u faithful ? They mean have u had sex with anyone other than yr partner. So all that self justification one may be thinking of my partner is present or consents to me having other partners so therefore I'm not unfaithful is not the issue the doctor is pursuing. What they wanna know is whether u engage in sexual intercourse wiv more than one person. They are entitled to THINK an unexpressed opinion of your lifestyle and probably do.

I imagine the doc woulda done better phrasing the question as ' do you engage in sex with anyone other than your partner ' maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There must have been a clinical reason for the question. You mention a gynae issue so I'm assuming if they were competent they were trying to rule things out such as sex with more than one partner. Certain symptoms can be shown which might or might not be an STI, for example a discharge might be caused by more than one thing, by checking politely if you have multiple partners they are eliminating certain things. Your assumption that they are judging or asking inappropriate questions may have lead them to misdiagnose the problem.

For the poster who said they'd tell them it's none of their business then I suspect you'd also be the first person to blame the GP if you discovered the thing that might kill you had been missed by the GP. Doctors aren't mind readers, they need info to diagnose conditions. Holding it back because you think it's not appropriate might just be the death of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There must have been a clinical reason for the question. You mention a gynae issue so I'm assuming if they were competent they were trying to rule things out such as sex with more than one partner. Certain symptoms can be shown which might or might not be an STI, for example a discharge might be caused by more than one thing, by checking politely if you have multiple partners they are eliminating certain things. Your assumption that they are judging or asking inappropriate questions may have lead them to misdiagnose the problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The appropriate reply is that you practice safe sex with other people, as a couple.

If you have gone bareback..

then there's the spider web of who could also have a potential problem....

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

"The appropriate reply is that you practice safe sex with other people, as a couple.

If you have gone bareback..

then there's the spider web of who could also have a potential problem....

I went o a GUM clinic (once) where, on being asked, replied that last 3 people I had met (other than my partner) were all safe sex, was told "Looking at this pattern, I cannot see HOW you would not have caught something - you'd be lucky in fact".

I stopped using that clinic - it not their job to judge.

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By *hickenstripsCouple
over a year ago

tallahassee

I guess they need to know who and what when they find a std. If thats the reason she should say so. Having said that what you say is confidential in most practices. In the USA it is a violation of hipa and she could be discharged , lose her license. It's a very big deal. Your doc could have, and should have worded it better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds like the GP was trying to ascertain the amount of sexual partners so that she could give a medical diagnosis.

Maybe it wasn't worded in a modern politically correct way as you would like, but if she wasn't rude about it then just put it down to the older generation.

Of course GPs are not god, if anyone offends you then challenge it constructively.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You also have to take into account that GPs are, obviously, general practitioners. They see a whole spectrum of medical complaints but do not specialise

GUM clinic staff are specialised and therefore they are going to be more used to dealing with sensitive questions of this type.

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