FabSwingers.com forum: The 1st message

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

On the 1st message I always send a face pic and I usually mention something in their profile that they are looking for that I can give ,but so many profiles tend to say what they don't want and not much about what they want or are looking for I do understand it cuts the timewasters out for them so that's fine , so i am not sure of best kind of message to send, any advice would be most welcome, thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is this the post that u thort was missing hun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On the 1st message I always send a face pic and I usually mention something in their profile that they are looking for that I can give ,but so many profiles tend to say what they don't want and not much about what they want or are looking for I do understand it cuts the timewasters out for them so that's fine , so i am not sure of best kind of message to send, any advice would be most welcome, thanks

Offer money ..... if sex doesn't work , money will.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

lol @ granny

As you well know everyone is different so will all expect something different....so send some mails, see if you get anywhere, if not, change it a bit and see if it helps.

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

I always send a wink to the person(s) I am interested in, they usually respond in one way or the other, this is followed by a message, in which I put what I find attractive about them, what my interests are, and what we have in common.

I know winks are frowned upon by many users, but I think they are a nice way to initiate communication.

And to those that do not reply or hate winks, no worries, I always move on, life is too short.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"is this the post that u thort was missing hun"
yeah

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Offer money ..... if sex doesn't work , money will. "

Granny - I've only got 50p. Does that get me a peek at it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"is this the post that u thort was missing hun yeah"

well it wasnt missing it is here lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"is this the post that u thort was missing hun yeah

well it wasnt missing it is here lol

"
I had to repost it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Money is the only thing I don't ave I got some argos vouchers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure you read their profiles to be certain you are what they are looking for. Don't contact them if they say they are not looking for single gents etc...

If they are a distance away, tell them you are prepared to travel or meet them half way etc...

Really difficult to say what is good and what is bad in a message, as it does dependent upon the recipient's frame of mind when he/she/they open it.

I have made the decision not to reply to unsolicited messages anymore, and have said so in my profile, and I still get them.

Good luck, and remember to have patiences, and don't moan or sound negative. If they do not reply and block you, that is quite normal. Don't be a drama queen and complain about it, just move on!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

oh yeah moaners do my head in I always look on the bright side but yeah you are right that if you if you read profile and you have what they want and mention that it has given me the best response so I will stay with that, thanks
"Make sure you read their profiles to be certain you are what they are looking for. Don't contact them if they say they are not looking for single gents etc...

If they are a distance away, tell them you are prepared to travel or meet them half way etc...

Really difficult to say what is good and what is bad in a message, as it does dependent upon the recipient's frame of mind when he/she/they open it.

I have made the decision not to reply to unsolicited messages anymore, and have said so in my profile, and I still get them.

Good luck, and remember to have patiences, and don't moan or sound negative. If they do not reply and block you, that is quite normal. Don't be a drama queen and complain about it, just move on!

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

[Removed by poster at 31/01/10 02:37:11]

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

Offer money ..... if sex doesn't work , money will. "

Really? I am on the dole do you do discounts Granny lol?

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

THE STICKS

", any advice would be most welcome, thanks

I tend to get a pretty good reply rate to the messages I send - overall I reckon its about 1 in 4 - sometimes its even better than that. So I must be doing something right.

Thats not to say every reply will turn into a meet of course

There is no one-one-size-fits all approach to messaging - what works for some might not work for others - but there's definitely a few general rules.

Keep the message short(ish) - make it personal.

People will say they dont like one liners, but what they realy mean is they dont want rude, ignorant "fancy a fuck" type messages.

Think of your first message like a chat-up line - you dont open a conversation with a girl in a bar with your life story - you just want to get her smiling and talking.

A short, 1 paragraph, witty, message that picks up on one or two specific points of their profile will have a million times more impact than an epic about all your likes and dislikes etc - you can get to all that later once you have got the conversation moving.

Time your message appropriately.

Avoid messaging new members - They get bombarded - mostly with crap - to the extent that a decent percentage get pissed off and leave within a few weeks.

Let them settle in for a bit first, and if they've survived the initial bombardment there's a better chance they are genuine and will stick around - so there's a better chance you'll get a reply.

Likewise if someone you like the look of hasnt been online for a while, then wait until they are before dropping them a line - it puts you at the top of the inbox rather than the bottom.

Be Discriminating.

I tend to look for people that I think I can make a connection with - and I try to get across in my message WHY I think we might be able to make a connection with each other.

There's an old saying that salesmen use "people buy people" and its true. Sure some folks might want a hot body or a huge cock - but they still want the person attached to the cock to "get" them. So be honest with yourself and only message people who you genuinely think you will hit it off with.

Also check how long someone has been here and if they have been verified.

There are loads of profiles on here that appear to be perfectly genuine, but have been on here for ages without a single verification. Seriously if a couple (and evern moreso a single woman) have been on here for more than a 6 months and havent been verified then there's either something seriously wrong with them and you should steer clear anyway, or they arent actually looking to meet at all - so dont waste your time.

I'll probably think of few more things to add later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never send my face picture on a first message as i wouldnt want to frighten them away

seriously though, due to my job, i prefer to get to know someone first, then i may attach it, winks are good too, i then check a person out and decide whether to message. Must admit that sometimes people say far too much in a message, i prefer to find out about them through further messages, feel ive nothing to say otherwise but tellng me they are fit, exercise regularly is a waste of time and does nothing for me at all

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