FabSwingers.com forum: safety when internet meeting

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How do you ensure you're safe when meeting someone/going to their house/inviting them to yours?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's the problem I'm having as I'm a single woman

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Let at least one person know where you'll be and how you can be reached.

Some people have a preprogrammed text message to send to their safe friend, which tells the friend to ring immediately, thus allowing them to make excuses and leave.

Ultimately, meeting anyone off the net takes a leap of faith on all parts. trust your instincts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you ensure you're safe when meeting someone/going to their house/inviting them to yours?"

I meet at clubs... That way I'm safe. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meet in public first a social meet.but have met at mine a few times.

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By *j_markCouple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Totteridge/Whetstone

There are tips on the site FAQ:

Do you have any tips for safe meeting?

Don't forget that the only person responsible for your safety is you, so don't put yourself in a situation where a stranger can let you down. These are some tips to help:

* Don't give strangers your home phone number, your usual mobile number or your address or let them know where you work. Buy a spare PAYG SIM for your mobile and use it for initial contacts.

* Don't rely on strangers for transport, so don't agree to go somewhere in a car with someone you don't know.

* Don't turn up to strange addresses without having met the people you're expecting, first, beforehand.

* Always meet first somewhere safe and public (a cafe) first.

* Always tell someone you trust who you're going to meet, and where.

* Don't arrange meets without having spoken to the people you're expecting to meet first on phone OR on seen on cam.

* Don't invite strangers into your home.

* Don't put yourself in a situation where if someone doesn't turn up, you'll be upset. So don't travel 100s of miles and book into a hotel in the expectation of meeting someone unless you've met them beforehand.

Attending an organised social or a swinging club meet is a good place to start.

Admin x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanx for your advice just want to have fun but feel safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never meet any 1 at home or theirs

only meet in a cafa or local pub that we both no

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah best way to meet someone I reckon

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

I meet people at their own homes. But i properly vet those i'm meeting (mostly) so i have a good idea of what i'm walking into.

If you are so worried about your safety when swinging, then i'd suggest you are maybe not all that cut out for the lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh yes I'm defoe for this lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go on Google Earth and see if their house looks rough!

PS we rarely go to houses, clubs all the way now.

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By *ovely CummingsWoman
over a year ago

Peaky Nipples

If you are so worried about your safety when swinging, then i'd suggest you are maybe not all that cut out for the lifestyle."

What a ridiculous thing to say.

It's not just single FEMS that have to be careful, an ex playmate who was a single guy was beat up on a 'meet', arranged via the site, so safety is something that everyone should think about

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If you are so worried about your safety when swinging, then i'd suggest you are maybe not all that cut out for the lifestyle.

What a ridiculous thing to say.

It's not just single FEMS that have to be careful, an ex playmate who was a single guy was beat up on a 'meet', arranged via the site, so safety is something that everyone should think about "

thanku for saying this. swinging lifestyle isn't about putting yourself in danger.

we just wondered how people stay safe.

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

If you are so worried about your safety when swinging, then i'd suggest you are maybe not all that cut out for the lifestyle.

What a ridiculous thing to say.

It's not just single FEMS that have to be careful, an ex playmate who was a single guy was beat up on a 'meet', arranged via the site, so safety is something that everyone should think about "

You cherrypicked my comment. What i said prior to the part of my reply that you actually quoted should clear up exactly what i meant. Go read it again.

In fact, feel free to read the previous comment i made in this very thread. I take precautions to keep myself safe. AND YET, any meet with a new person is still a leap of faith despite precautions.

It isn't rocket science.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I meet people for the first time at the organised socials and parties. This means that, if we don't 'click' there are another 100 people for us to socialise with. And if we do 'click', after chatting for 4 hours, I feel confident that my safety is not being compromised. And in the unlikely event of any problem, my friends all know who I've left with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is an element of danger in crossing the road. Just use some common sense!

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

"How do you ensure you're safe when meeting someone/going to their house/inviting them to yours?

I meet at clubs... That way I'm safe. X"

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I take weapons.

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By *illon321Man
over a year ago

Lower sheering

i have gone with a couple of lady friends as was a doorman and a boxer so they was very safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Carry a big stick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's good they were defoe safe then

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By *illon321Man
over a year ago

Lower sheering

with me or the stick lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me no at all as I run faster than usain bolt and kick ass like Khan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fred and Rosemary West were swingers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First and foremost I get to know them and, I'm pretty good at sussing people out.

Then my flatmate is my safety net. She knows who he is on here and where I'm going etc and text her a few times.

Its worked perfect up to now and as a single lady I need to put my safety first xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and that's only after a social meet xx

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By *illon321Man
over a year ago

Lower sheering

sounds like a plan that works queenie xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fred and Rosemary West were swingers."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's the problem I'm having as I'm a single woman"
~

Your 48, Im astonished you look great, I thought you were in your 20s...

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

My best friends are both on this site, they know who I'm meeting, the profile name etc. They also have access to my account if something should go wrong.

I always send them a safety text, not a run of the mill text though. I always send 'having a shit time, small cock.' Any variation of and they know something is wrong. The theory being if someone has taken me and has my phone they'll write or make me write something good.

And above all, I trust my instincts. If something says not right in my head, I walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always have a social meet first. Meeting in clubs or socials is not really an option living where I do but I've met at their house and at mine and never had a problem.

I do like to chat for quite a while to get to know someone first though. Gut instinct works well. If you have the slightest uneasy feeling then I'd say don't do it. Nerves tend to kick in anyway but not feeling safe is a different thing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find one thing that puts me right off is when i ask for a social meet and they try and pressure for a private one at mine

I have talked to quite a few super shy guys (read cheating) but i find it creepy when someone wont accept a public meet if i ask for one

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Meet in public and if you want more why not go for hotel meet to start with? The other person can not hide for too long his bad side if he or her has any

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a forum post of safety txt buddies. But as others say keep ur instinct,have a friend or fellow fabber to txt even just when ur on way home. Even if its someone nowhere near main thing is someone knows where u r n who with and will check up on u if no reply. Also meet in public. Ur choice if want social first or more. Look after urself and enjoy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are tips on the site FAQ:

Do you have any tips for safe meeting?

Don't forget that the only person responsible for your safety is you, so don't put yourself in a situation where a stranger can let you down. These are some tips to help:

* Don't give strangers your home phone number, your usual mobile number or your address or let them know where you work. Buy a spare PAYG SIM for your mobile and use it for initial contacts.

* Don't rely on strangers for transport, so don't agree to go somewhere in a car with someone you don't know.

* Don't turn up to strange addresses without having met the people you're expecting, first, beforehand.

* Always meet first somewhere safe and public (a cafe) first.

* Always tell someone you trust who you're going to meet, and where.

* Don't arrange meets without having spoken to the people you're expecting to meet first on phone OR on seen on cam.

* Don't invite strangers into your home.

Attending an organised social or a swinging club meet is a good place to start.

Admin x"

All sensible and common sense, but there is one thing missing from the above. If you are meeting and you are STILL concerned about your safety - regardless of where, when and how you are meeting - then YOU have not done your homework about the person or couple you are meeting thoroughly enough. There will always be a combination of nerves/excitement, but to be worried about your safety is something entirely different, and if that is how the OP is feeling then I would start looking closely at how much I am trying to find out about who I am meeting.

Ruby used to think I was totally anal about this, until the time I saved us from what could easily have been a quite nasty experience about a year ago - and all because I had a gut feeling about a couple and would not budge until I got an answer to a certain question. I finally got the answer, and they were history!

There ain't a fuck on this planet that is worth compromising your personal safety for.

ted.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 09/07/13 05:16:38]

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

The fact of the matter is people on the internet are people you'd meet on a Saturday night, at a garden party, in Tesco etc.

How do go about making friends and inviting them round to yours generally? If I met one offs for sex I'd meet in a club. I wouldn't meet a stranger in my home, go to theirs or a hotel.

The men I agree to meet I always meet socially first. Sometimes we meet socially several times before playing as they need to be comfortable with me and I them: I don't play "nice". My playmates know they'll be restrained, hung from hooks etc. They have to trust me not only with their bodies but their wallets!

This works for me, we all have to find what works for us.

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I meet people at their own homes. But i properly vet those i'm meeting (mostly) so i have a good idea of what i'm walking into.

If you are so worried about your safety when swinging, then i'd suggest you are maybe not all that cut out for the lifestyle."

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

If you are so worried about your safety when swinging, then i'd suggest you are maybe not all that cut out for the lifestyle.

What a ridiculous thing to say.

It's not just single FEMS that have to be careful, an ex playmate who was a single guy was beat up on a 'meet', arranged via the site, so safety is something that everyone should think about "

People are beat up by their partners, parents every day: people from Fab are people!

You need to be vigilant yes, but some people won't meet unless they see a recent clean health text, insist on condoms for oral and dams. I'd say the same to them: is this really for you?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"I find one thing that puts me right off is when i ask for a social meet and they try and pressure for a private one at mine

I have talked to quite a few super shy guys (read cheating) but i find it creepy when someone wont accept a public meet if i ask for one"

Some will also agree to a social meet, cancel, but somehow are able to meet at yours in the evening.

Personally, anyone unable to meet for coffee when I say does me a favour: it's another filter: I block them.

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By *inglecuckoldMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Yeah gotta b ok to meet with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By meeting socially first maybe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are tips on the site FAQ:

Do you have any tips for safe meeting?

Don't forget that the only person responsible for your safety is you, so don't put yourself in a situation where a stranger can let you down. These are some tips to help:

* Don't give strangers your home phone number, your usual mobile number or your address or let them know where you work. Buy a spare PAYG SIM for your mobile and use it for initial contacts.

* Don't rely on strangers for transport, so don't agree to go somewhere in a car with someone you don't know.

* Don't turn up to strange addresses without having met the people you're expecting, first, beforehand.

* Always meet first somewhere safe and public (a cafe) first.

* Always tell someone you trust who you're going to meet, and where.

* Don't arrange meets without having spoken to the people you're expecting to meet first on phone OR on seen on cam.

* Don't invite strangers into your home.

Attending an organised social or a swinging club meet is a good place to start.

Admin x

There ain't a fuck on this planet that is worth compromising your personal safety for.

ted."

And you know you have been right when they are all over you at a meet, its obvious they want to play with you but get very nasty when you tell them you don't want to meet again

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By *otwife CoolhubCouple
over a year ago

Bathgate

Go with your instincts, if something feels right go with it. If it doesn't don't. As has been said before, there is plenty more fish in the FAB sea if you can't get comfortable with a potential partner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"never meet any 1 at home or theirs

only meet in a cafa or local pub that we both no

What and you have sex in the cafe or.local pub? Wow.....what do the other patrons say?

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"never meet any 1 at home or theirs

only meet in a cafa or local pub that we both no

What and you have sex in the cafe or.local pub? Wow.....what do the other patrons say?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always meet in public first

I never give anyone my phone number or address

I don't go to stangers homes, i never go to a guys house on the first meet, if we play first meet its always a hotel even if they can accommodate

I always stay close to home as i dont drive

Don't drink so you keep your wits about you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i also never get in a car with someone first meet

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"i also never get in a car with someone first meet"

As an aside: a friend of mine met a guy at lunch with mutal friends. They hit it off and decided to go to his house. She parked her car in her dad's drive, jumped into his car and went to his for sex!

I've never slept with someone on a first meet, never got into a strangers car, yet she thinks it's strange I "date" men of the net as it's full of sexual deviants, men that only want sex!

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