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"Ratios in here are massively skewed. I put it to you that half of the “single” guys are in sexless/or low sex relationships (most guys in the real world lament about it), and the other half simply can’t get a bang, so come here hoping for the best. Women; different matter. A lot in the real world couldn’t care less about sex. You could argue that the ones on here are the sexual ones/nymphomaniacs, etc. The saviours of mankind! I read a statistic a while ago. I’ll have to find it. It was something like 10% of single women are servicing 90% of single men. In other words, the very small pot of sexual women are servicing the needs of a very large pot of starved men. I’ll have to find this before spouting it really. " I would agree with this | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure " the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want | |||
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"First marriage she didn't see it important to a marriage. She soon did she thought I was having affair. Second marriage all stopped after unexpected baby then menopause " well in this case what is she expecting from you to be a monk | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want " We live in a cultural situation where a large amount of women feel entitled to conditionless exclusivity. And that’s absolutely fine as long as his needs are met, but occasionally, they get lazy and/or weaponise it. If you’ve got a low-confidence, easily manipulatable man, that’s fine, women can get away with that. But a guy who has any sense of pride is going to struggle. I’ve said on here a few times, my female friends have done it. Then they come to me crying; “Ohhhhhh he cheated on me!”. Last time I let rip…. Are you fucking stupid?!? He was buying you meals, he was paying your rent?!? He was spoiling you, he was asking for sex and you starved him!!! What the fuck did you expect?!?!? Ohhh, but why should I? He didn’t brush the floor!?! Honestly, it’s ridiculous. It is what it is though. | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want We live in a cultural situation where a large amount of women feel entitled to conditionless exclusivity. And that’s absolutely fine as long as his needs are met, but occasionally, they get lazy and/or weaponise it. If you’ve got a low-confidence, easily manipulatable man, that’s fine, women can get away with that. But a guy who has any sense of pride is going to struggle. I’ve said on here a few times, my female friends have done it. Then they come to me crying; “Ohhhhhh he cheated on me!”. Last time I let rip…. Are you fucking stupid?!? He was buying you meals, he was paying your rent?!? He was spoiling you, he was asking for sex and you starved him!!! What the fuck did you expect?!?!? Ohhh, but why should I? He didn’t brush the floor!?! Honestly, it’s ridiculous. It is what it is though. " , let's say it is a person issie not a gender for everyone who is reading | |||
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"I agree. My ex said if I didn't like it, d'égo find someone else. So I did as I was told and she still complained " hypocrisy | |||
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"We all have our reasons for being on here. Mine is my wife has arthritis and finds sex painful, hence why I looking elsewhere! Not had sex with my wife for 14 years!" that is so bad, question, do you still in love with her ? | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want We live in a cultural situation where a large amount of women feel entitled to conditionless exclusivity. And that’s absolutely fine as long as his needs are met, but occasionally, they get lazy and/or weaponise it. If you’ve got a low-confidence, easily manipulatable man, that’s fine, women can get away with that. But a guy who has any sense of pride is going to struggle. I’ve said on here a few times, my female friends have done it. Then they come to me crying; “Ohhhhhh he cheated on me!”. Last time I let rip…. Are you fucking stupid?!? He was buying you meals, he was paying your rent?!? He was spoiling you, he was asking for sex and you starved him!!! What the fuck did you expect?!?!? Ohhh, but why should I? He didn’t brush the floor!?! Honestly, it’s ridiculous. It is what it is though. , let's say it is a person issie not a gender for everyone who is reading " We could agree this for the reasons of political correctness my friend, but it’s a genetic issue. It runs through the entire animal kingdom. The females look pretty and guard their bodies, the males fight for the chance. It’s a natural thing. | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want We live in a cultural situation where a large amount of women feel entitled to conditionless exclusivity. And that’s absolutely fine as long as his needs are met, but occasionally, they get lazy and/or weaponise it. If you’ve got a low-confidence, easily manipulatable man, that’s fine, women can get away with that. But a guy who has any sense of pride is going to struggle. I’ve said on here a few times, my female friends have done it. Then they come to me crying; “Ohhhhhh he cheated on me!”. Last time I let rip…. Are you fucking stupid?!? He was buying you meals, he was paying your rent?!? He was spoiling you, he was asking for sex and you starved him!!! What the fuck did you expect?!?!? Ohhh, but why should I? He didn’t brush the floor!?! Honestly, it’s ridiculous. It is what it is though. , let's say it is a person issie not a gender for everyone who is reading We could agree this for the reasons of political correctness my friend, but it’s a genetic issue. It runs through the entire animal kingdom. The females look pretty and guard their bodies, the males fight for the chance. It’s a natural thing. " I see your point, but I have to disagree on this specific part. For one thing, we don't hunt for our food anymore. I also feel like a lot of this comes down to old cultural habits and attitudes. That's exactly why things need to change—it just doesn't fit our modern way of life anymore | |||
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"I wonder who is here in such a situation " Was in a sexless marriage for decades, only had Pam and her five widowed sisters for comfort. Wife was very ill for a very long time. With working, coming home and doing all the chores, didn't have time to think about a relationship on the side. It can be done, you don't have to have sex. Mind you , you have to be knackered most of the time to care. And she was the only woman I'd ever had sex with so I suppose that helps, never knowing anyone else. We met at the age of 15. | |||
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"I wonder who is here in such a situation Was in a sexless marriage for decades, only had Pam and her five widowed sisters for comfort. Wife was very ill for a very long time. With working, coming home and doing all the chores, didn't have time to think about a relationship on the side. It can be done, you don't have to have sex. Mind you , you have to be knackered most of the time to care. And she was the only woman I'd ever had sex with so I suppose that helps, never knowing anyone else. We met at the age of 15." bless you | |||
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"I wonder who is here in such a situation " Aren't you better off leaving ? Whats the point in staying if you're not happy? | |||
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"I wonder who is here in such a situation Aren't you better off leaving ? Whats the point in staying if you're not happy?" While that is certainly a viable option, it is rarely straightforward. There are significant moral, financial, and family considerations to weigh, particularly if medical issues are involved. The breakdown usually occurs when one party is unwilling to invest the necessary effort or make compromises | |||
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"I wonder who is here in such a situation Aren't you better off leaving ? Whats the point in staying if you're not happy? While that is certainly a viable option, it is rarely straightforward. There are significant moral, financial, and family considerations to weigh, particularly if medical issues are involved. The breakdown usually occurs when one party is unwilling to invest the necessary effort or make compromises " Yeah get that it's not straight forward. Wishing you the best  | |||
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"I wonder who is here in such a situation Aren't you better off leaving ? Whats the point in staying if you're not happy?" Errrrrrrrrrr rufff rufffffff!!! | |||
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"We all have our reasons for being on here. Mine is my wife has arthritis and finds sex painful, hence why I looking elsewhere! Not had sex with my wife for 14 years! that is so bad, question, do you still in love with her ?" Yes | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want We live in a cultural situation where a large amount of women feel entitled to conditionless exclusivity. And that’s absolutely fine as long as his needs are met, but occasionally, they get lazy and/or weaponise it. If you’ve got a low-confidence, easily manipulatable man, that’s fine, women can get away with that. But a guy who has any sense of pride is going to struggle. I’ve said on here a few times, my female friends have done it. Then they come to me crying; “Ohhhhhh he cheated on me!”. Last time I let rip…. Are you fucking stupid?!? He was buying you meals, he was paying your rent?!? He was spoiling you, he was asking for sex and you starved him!!! What the fuck did you expect?!?!? Ohhh, but why should I? He didn’t brush the floor!?! Honestly, it’s ridiculous. It is what it is though. " So in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex? That sounds bit like prostitution to me 🤔 | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want We live in a cultural situation where a large amount of women feel entitled to conditionless exclusivity. And that’s absolutely fine as long as his needs are met, but occasionally, they get lazy and/or weaponise it. If you’ve got a low-confidence, easily manipulatable man, that’s fine, women can get away with that. But a guy who has any sense of pride is going to struggle. I’ve said on here a few times, my female friends have done it. Then they come to me crying; “Ohhhhhh he cheated on me!”. Last time I let rip…. Are you fucking stupid?!? He was buying you meals, he was paying your rent?!? He was spoiling you, he was asking for sex and you starved him!!! What the fuck did you expect?!?!? Ohhh, but why should I? He didn’t brush the floor!?! Honestly, it’s ridiculous. It is what it is though. So in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex? That sounds bit like prostitution to me 🤔" “in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex” - Please consider who’s mind those thoughts were in. We’re they in my mind or yours? 
Here’s the bottom line; If you care about your partner, ensure that their needs are met to whatever extent is reasonably possible.
The same goes for everything else in life.
If you fail to service your own needs, you become ill.
If you fail to service your car, it will eventually become unusable.
If you fail to service your house, it will succumb to nature.
What I’ll say to you is that “people” often become lazy when they have attained what they set out to achieve.
Xx | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want We live in a cultural situation where a large amount of women feel entitled to conditionless exclusivity. And that’s absolutely fine as long as his needs are met, but occasionally, they get lazy and/or weaponise it. If you’ve got a low-confidence, easily manipulatable man, that’s fine, women can get away with that. But a guy who has any sense of pride is going to struggle. I’ve said on here a few times, my female friends have done it. Then they come to me crying; “Ohhhhhh he cheated on me!”. Last time I let rip…. Are you fucking stupid?!? He was buying you meals, he was paying your rent?!? He was spoiling you, he was asking for sex and you starved him!!! What the fuck did you expect?!?!? Ohhh, but why should I? He didn’t brush the floor!?! Honestly, it’s ridiculous. It is what it is though. So in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex? That sounds bit like prostitution to me 🤔 “in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex” - Please consider who’s mind those thoughts were in. We’re they in my mind or yours?
Here’s the bottom line; If you care about your partner, ensure that their needs are met to whatever extent is reasonably possible.
The same goes for everything else in life.
If you fail to service your own needs, you become ill.
If you fail to service your car, it will eventually become unusable.
If you fail to service your house, it will succumb to nature.
What I’ll say to you is that “people” often become lazy when they have attained what they set out to achieve.
Xx"Good post. Many women choose to be celibate within the relationship, and force celibacy on the man. Not a good situation to find yourself in. Sex is vital to a man's physical and mental health, his self esteem, ....and his prostate health. I think society will change in this regard, as it's changing in every other way. | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want We live in a cultural situation where a large amount of women feel entitled to conditionless exclusivity. And that’s absolutely fine as long as his needs are met, but occasionally, they get lazy and/or weaponise it. If you’ve got a low-confidence, easily manipulatable man, that’s fine, women can get away with that. But a guy who has any sense of pride is going to struggle. I’ve said on here a few times, my female friends have done it. Then they come to me crying; “Ohhhhhh he cheated on me!”. Last time I let rip…. Are you fucking stupid?!? He was buying you meals, he was paying your rent?!? He was spoiling you, he was asking for sex and you starved him!!! What the fuck did you expect?!?!? Ohhh, but why should I? He didn’t brush the floor!?! Honestly, it’s ridiculous. It is what it is though. So in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex? That sounds bit like prostitution to me 🤔 “in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex” - Please consider who’s mind those thoughts were in. We’re they in my mind or yours?
Here’s the bottom line; If you care about your partner, ensure that their needs are met to whatever extent is reasonably possible.
The same goes for everything else in life.
If you fail to service your own needs, you become ill.
If you fail to service your car, it will eventually become unusable.
If you fail to service your house, it will succumb to nature.
What I’ll say to you is that “people” often become lazy when they have attained what they set out to achieve.
Xx
Good post. Many women choose to be celibate within the relationship, and force celibacy on the man. Not a good situation to find yourself in. Sex is vital to a man's physical and mental health, his self esteem, ....and his prostate health. I think society will change in this regard, as it's changing in every other way. "It’s a chronic problem that men often won’t talk about, because they are scared. It ends in tears. | |||
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"First marriage she didn't see it important to a marriage. She soon did she thought I was having affair. Second marriage all stopped after unexpected baby then menopause well in this case what is she expecting from you to be a monk " Playing the Devils advocate, Let’s say the guy can’t get hard through health reasons. Should the guy expect his wife to be a nun ? | |||
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" Playing the Devils advocate, Let’s say the guy can’t get hard through health reasons. Should the guy expect his wife to be a nun ? " No. I would not but I'd communicate it that rather than her run off , we could still be together, but invite a chap into the bedroom. | |||
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" I read a statistic a while ago. I’ll have to find it. It was something like 10% of single women are servicing 90% of single men. In other words, the very small pot of sexual women are servicing the needs of a very large pot of starved men. I’ll have to find this before spouting it really. " Along with considerable help from gay men 😂😉 | |||
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"First marriage she didn't see it important to a marriage. She soon did she thought I was having affair. Second marriage all stopped after unexpected baby then menopause well in this case what is she expecting from you to be a monk Playing the Devils advocate, Let’s say the guy can’t get hard through health reasons. Should the guy expect his wife to be a nun ? " No! He should talk about it, and come up with a mutually agreeable solution. | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want We live in a cultural situation where a large amount of women feel entitled to conditionless exclusivity. And that’s absolutely fine as long as his needs are met, but occasionally, they get lazy and/or weaponise it. If you’ve got a low-confidence, easily manipulatable man, that’s fine, women can get away with that. But a guy who has any sense of pride is going to struggle. I’ve said on here a few times, my female friends have done it. Then they come to me crying; “Ohhhhhh he cheated on me!”. Last time I let rip…. Are you fucking stupid?!? He was buying you meals, he was paying your rent?!? He was spoiling you, he was asking for sex and you starved him!!! What the fuck did you expect?!?!? Ohhh, but why should I? He didn’t brush the floor!?! Honestly, it’s ridiculous. It is what it is though. So in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex? That sounds bit like prostitution to me 🤔 “in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex” - Please consider who’s mind those thoughts were in. We’re they in my mind or yours?
Here’s the bottom line; If you care about your partner, ensure that their needs are met to whatever extent is reasonably possible.
The same goes for everything else in life.
If you fail to service your own needs, you become ill.
If you fail to service your car, it will eventually become unusable.
If you fail to service your house, it will succumb to nature.
What I’ll say to you is that “people” often become lazy when they have attained what they set out to achieve.
Xx
Good post. Many women choose to be celibate within the relationship, and force celibacy on the man. Not a good situation to find yourself in. Sex is vital to a man's physical and mental health, his self esteem, ....and his prostate health. I think society will change in this regard, as it's changing in every other way. "Do you know why they choose to become celibate? I genuinely don't know the answer or even if this is true so I'd be interested in his you've come to this conclusion and the evidence that's lead you there. | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want We live in a cultural situation where a large amount of women feel entitled to conditionless exclusivity. And that’s absolutely fine as long as his needs are met, but occasionally, they get lazy and/or weaponise it. If you’ve got a low-confidence, easily manipulatable man, that’s fine, women can get away with that. But a guy who has any sense of pride is going to struggle. I’ve said on here a few times, my female friends have done it. Then they come to me crying; “Ohhhhhh he cheated on me!”. Last time I let rip…. Are you fucking stupid?!? He was buying you meals, he was paying your rent?!? He was spoiling you, he was asking for sex and you starved him!!! What the fuck did you expect?!?!? Ohhh, but why should I? He didn’t brush the floor!?! Honestly, it’s ridiculous. It is what it is though. So in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex? That sounds bit like prostitution to me 🤔 “in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex” - Please consider who’s mind those thoughts were in. We’re they in my mind or yours?
Here’s the bottom line; If you care about your partner, ensure that their needs are met to whatever extent is reasonably possible.
The same goes for everything else in life.
If you fail to service your own needs, you become ill.
If you fail to service your car, it will eventually become unusable.
If you fail to service your house, it will succumb to nature.
What I’ll say to you is that “people” often become lazy when they have attained what they set out to achieve.
Xx
Good post. Many women choose to be celibate within the relationship, and force celibacy on the man. Not a good situation to find yourself in. Sex is vital to a man's physical and mental health, his self esteem, ....and his prostate health. I think society will change in this regard, as it's changing in every other way.
Do you know why they choose to become celibate? I genuinely don't know the answer or even if this is true so I'd be interested in his you've come to this conclusion and the evidence that's lead you there. "Usually, it’s not celibacy, it’s more of a severe shortage of sex. A few of my male friends have gone though the forced celibacy thing though. Those guys often end up with the likes of a nervous breakdown/midlife crisis. The general starvation thing though, this is very common, and very real. It severely affects a large amount of men but it’s suppressed too. Most married guys around us are suffering from it. I put it to you that most guys on here are suffering from it. The reason why men are not inclined to talk about it is that it’s a massive ego hit that makes them feel feminine/unworthy and attracts hatred from women. The causes; there are many causes. Usually it’s laziness. Sometimes it’s hormonal changes postpartum that don’t recover. Sometimes, it’s process syndrome. Sometimes the guy is simply a knob. There are many reasons for it. | |||
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"The key part to focus on her is always you are in a relationship. Sex is a part of a normal healthy relationship and if it has all ended it’s important to reflect on why. It’s not really a male female thing in my view. If it stops you question why. If it is medical or menopausal there are almost always solutions to retain some form of sexual connection in the relationship. If it’s not I suspect the relationship has gone you have tough decisions to make. To me that isn’t just carrying on and then endlessly moaning about a lack of sex. As a woman who had a terrible couple of years with menopause until I finally got it under control. His role in our relationship was to understand it, support me through it and feel loved and desired still. Mine was to recognise he had exactly the same sexual desires and to jointly find solutions that worked with a massively reduced sexual appetite. Even with zero sexual appetite my love for him meant I still gained pleasure from his pleasure, giving him a handjob, a blowjob or using a toy on him (this is when I bought a fleshlight for him). " what if that even stopped and there is no connection whatsoever | |||
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"Absolutely loads based on the couples we know and the messages we get here. We always find it sad and strange in equal measure the thing is if your partner not interested in sex, well what other options are available for you, I think it is hard for the one who want We live in a cultural situation where a large amount of women feel entitled to conditionless exclusivity. And that’s absolutely fine as long as his needs are met, but occasionally, they get lazy and/or weaponise it. If you’ve got a low-confidence, easily manipulatable man, that’s fine, women can get away with that. But a guy who has any sense of pride is going to struggle. I’ve said on here a few times, my female friends have done it. Then they come to me crying; “Ohhhhhh he cheated on me!”. Last time I let rip…. Are you fucking stupid?!? He was buying you meals, he was paying your rent?!? He was spoiling you, he was asking for sex and you starved him!!! What the fuck did you expect?!?!? Ohhh, but why should I? He didn’t brush the floor!?! Honestly, it’s ridiculous. It is what it is though. So in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex? That sounds bit like prostitution to me 🤔 “in your mind if a man buys a woman dinner or pays for things then she owes him sex” - Please consider who’s mind those thoughts were in. We’re they in my mind or yours?
Here’s the bottom line; If you care about your partner, ensure that their needs are met to whatever extent is reasonably possible.
The same goes for everything else in life.
If you fail to service your own needs, you become ill.
If you fail to service your car, it will eventually become unusable.
If you fail to service your house, it will succumb to nature.
What I’ll say to you is that “people” often become lazy when they have attained what they set out to achieve.
Xx
Good post. Many women choose to be celibate within the relationship, and force celibacy on the man. Not a good situation to find yourself in. Sex is vital to a man's physical and mental health, his self esteem, ....and his prostate health. I think society will change in this regard, as it's changing in every other way.
Do you know why they choose to become celibate? I genuinely don't know the answer or even if this is true so I'd be interested in his you've come to this conclusion and the evidence that's lead you there.
Usually, it’s not celibacy, it’s more of a severe shortage of sex. A few of my male friends have gone though the forced celibacy thing though. Those guys often end up with the likes of a nervous breakdown/midlife crisis.
The general starvation thing though, this is very common, and very real. It severely affects a large amount of men but it’s suppressed too. Most married guys around us are suffering from it. I put it to you that most guys on here are suffering from it.
The reason why men are not inclined to talk about it is that it’s a massive ego hit that makes them feel feminine/unworthy and attracts hatred from women.
The causes; there are many causes. Usually it’s laziness. Sometimes it’s hormonal changes postpartum that don’t recover. Sometimes, it’s process syndrome. Sometimes the guy is simply a knob. There are many reasons for it.
"We're basically doomed then 🤷♀️ | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. " I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". | |||
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"The key part to focus on her is always you are in a relationship. Sex is a part of a normal healthy relationship and if it has all ended it’s important to reflect on why. It’s not really a male female thing in my view. If it stops you question why. If it is medical or menopausal there are almost always solutions to retain some form of sexual connection in the relationship. If it’s not I suspect the relationship has gone you have tough decisions to make. To me that isn’t just carrying on and then endlessly moaning about a lack of sex. As a woman who had a terrible couple of years with menopause until I finally got it under control. His role in our relationship was to understand it, support me through it and feel loved and desired still. Mine was to recognise he had exactly the same sexual desires and to jointly find solutions that worked with a massively reduced sexual appetite. Even with zero sexual appetite my love for him meant I still gained pleasure from his pleasure, giving him a handjob, a blowjob or using a toy on him (this is when I bought a fleshlight for him). what if that even stopped and there is no connection whatsoever " Then I would call it a day. Life is too short. | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". " A very important point never to be dismissed or overlooked. Most women won’t have any desires for sex if they feel unloved and the partner isn’t close and supportive towards them. | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. " You’re right, but as I said, it’s heavily suppressed. Men are not inclined to talk about it. They just suffer in silence. As they do, under the pressures you’ve mentioned, their women manipulate them further. It’s common. | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". " You may well be right to a large extent, but consider this; “Many women feel that just because they give sex that it entitles them to a relationship”. It hits hard right? It’s brutal, but it’s a truth that men are afraid to express. | |||
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"We were... Mrs here one half of Mischief Managed. All to do with my age and perimenopause.. I didn't realise just how bad it was, I didnt want sex, didnt think about it, it felt different and when we tried it just didnt work for me. Battled my way with the GP and got prescribed some testosterone along with my regular HRT ... literally changed our sex lives back to how we used to be! Hence were back after a 3 yr break. "That’s beautiful. I hope he cherishes you for it. Xxx | |||
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"We were... Mrs here one half of Mischief Managed. All to do with my age and perimenopause.. I didn't realise just how bad it was, I didnt want sex, didnt think about it, it felt different and when we tried it just didnt work for me. Battled my way with the GP and got prescribed some testosterone along with my regular HRT ... literally changed our sex lives back to how we used to be! Hence were back after a 3 yr break. "im very happy for you, did you let your partner lnow during the process and were you honest and committed to solve the problem, i think these are the keys | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". You may well be right to a large extent, but consider this; “Many women feel that just because they give sex that it entitles them to a relationship”. It hits hard right? It’s brutal, but it’s a truth that men are afraid to express. " It doesn't hit me hard. I was 20 in 1976, society's expectations of women were much the same as they are now but more rigourosly enforced by peer pressure and disapproval. It was widely believed that men wanted sex and it was a woman's duty to prevent him from having it because nice girls only had sex in long term relationships. Hence the expectation from women that once they'd 'given in' they would then be in a relationship. I can recall a friend of mine crying because she'd slept with a guy and he didn't want to see her again, she felt ashamed. A lot of this could be solved by everyone realising that sex and love are two different things altogether and that monogamy isn't for everyone. However societal norms and people failing to be honest with each other about what they want from a relationship stop this happening. I really wish there was some sort of questionnaire that people had to answer before they met each other | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". You may well be right to a large extent, but consider this; “Many women feel that just because they give sex that it entitles them to a relationship”. It hits hard right? It’s brutal, but it’s a truth that men are afraid to express. It doesn't hit me hard. I was 20 in 1976, society's expectations of women were much the same as they are now but more rigourosly enforced by peer pressure and disapproval. It was widely believed that men wanted sex and it was a woman's duty to prevent him from having it because nice girls only had sex in long term relationships. Hence the expectation from women that once they'd 'given in' they would then be in a relationship. I can recall a friend of mine crying because she'd slept with a guy and he didn't want to see her again, she felt ashamed. A lot of this could be solved by everyone realising that sex and love are two different things altogether and that monogamy isn't for everyone. However societal norms and people failing to be honest with each other about what they want from a relationship stop this happening. I really wish there was some sort of questionnaire that people had to answer before they met each other " That’s fascinating… It’s got very weird though, especially since Covid. | |||
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"For me personally and for my partner we view intimacy/sex as part of a healthy relationship. It is what makes us close and we absolutely love it. We have had the chat that if either of us was to get a medical condition where it was not possible that we would still see what else we could do eg hands mouth toys etc and failing that we would discuss other options but not cheating. We had this discussion early on into our relationship because of the age gap, it’s absolutely not an issue right now but when I’m 60 and he’s 75 or I’m 65 and he’s 80 he might not be able to perform or want to. Though we have joked that knowing what he’s like and how horny he is he will probably be horny and in working order until the day he dies lol! I agree lots of women use sex as a punishment or completely ignore that their men have needs, not even just the actual orgasm part but the feeling wanted and being touched. Men struggle to talk about the missing the cuddles and kisses but I feel find it easier just to say they miss sex, but it’s so much more than that. Now all of this is easy for me to say as I’m a woman in my 40s in a very sexual happy relationship with a very high drive and feel sexually fulfilled. Not everyone is the same and some women literally don’t want sex anymore and shouldn’t be forced to do so. It’s such a difficult situation. The man deserves to have sex with the woman he loves but she shouldn’t HAVE to. Where does this leave relationships. People start to go on places like this to ‘ look ‘ around. People start noticing the ladies in the office a bit more. Eventually unfortunately unless you have the most understanding man in the world there will be something that has to change and it’s normally some form of cheating or in extreme cases the end of the relationship/divorce. Sex is so much more important to a successful partnership than we realise.. I just hope that me and my man can continue being horny fuckers until the end! " Haha I'm nearly 69 and horny as hell most of the time. | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". You may well be right to a large extent, but consider this; “Many women feel that just because they give sex that it entitles them to a relationship”. It hits hard right? It’s brutal, but it’s a truth that men are afraid to express. It doesn't hit me hard. I was 20 in 1976, society's expectations of women were much the same as they are now but more rigourosly enforced by peer pressure and disapproval. It was widely believed that men wanted sex and it was a woman's duty to prevent him from having it because nice girls only had sex in long term relationships. Hence the expectation from women that once they'd 'given in' they would then be in a relationship. I can recall a friend of mine crying because she'd slept with a guy and he didn't want to see her again, she felt ashamed. A lot of this could be solved by everyone realising that sex and love are two different things altogether and that monogamy isn't for everyone. However societal norms and people failing to be honest with each other about what they want from a relationship stop this happening. I really wish there was some sort of questionnaire that people had to answer before they met each other That’s fascinating… It’s got very weird though, especially since Covid." Is it! What's got weird since COVID? | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". You may well be right to a large extent, but consider this; “Many women feel that just because they give sex that it entitles them to a relationship”. It hits hard right? It’s brutal, but it’s a truth that men are afraid to express. It doesn't hit me hard. I was 20 in 1976, society's expectations of women were much the same as they are now but more rigourosly enforced by peer pressure and disapproval. It was widely believed that men wanted sex and it was a woman's duty to prevent him from having it because nice girls only had sex in long term relationships. Hence the expectation from women that once they'd 'given in' they would then be in a relationship. I can recall a friend of mine crying because she'd slept with a guy and he didn't want to see her again, she felt ashamed. A lot of this could be solved by everyone realising that sex and love are two different things altogether and that monogamy isn't for everyone. However societal norms and people failing to be honest with each other about what they want from a relationship stop this happening. I really wish there was some sort of questionnaire that people had to answer before they met each other That’s fascinating… It’s got very weird though, especially since Covid. Is it! What's got weird since COVID?" It is fascinating to me yes, because I’m 39. I have little to no awareness of how things used to be. My grandmother told me about the 60’s being wonderful for dating. She said a lot of people were free and happy. It’s weird how things evolve. Covid, matter for another thread I guess. In a few words though; the more sexual women stayed in and signed up for oniphanz, more relationship oriented went out. It lead to a fucking up of the system. | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". You may well be right to a large extent, but consider this; “Many women feel that just because they give sex that it entitles them to a relationship”. It hits hard right? It’s brutal, but it’s a truth that men are afraid to express. It doesn't hit me hard. I was 20 in 1976, society's expectations of women were much the same as they are now but more rigourosly enforced by peer pressure and disapproval. It was widely believed that men wanted sex and it was a woman's duty to prevent him from having it because nice girls only had sex in long term relationships. Hence the expectation from women that once they'd 'given in' they would then be in a relationship. I can recall a friend of mine crying because she'd slept with a guy and he didn't want to see her again, she felt ashamed. A lot of this could be solved by everyone realising that sex and love are two different things altogether and that monogamy isn't for everyone. However societal norms and people failing to be honest with each other about what they want from a relationship stop this happening. I really wish there was some sort of questionnaire that people had to answer before they met each other That’s fascinating… It’s got very weird though, especially since Covid. Is it! What's got weird since COVID? It is fascinating to me yes, because I’m 39. I have little to no awareness of how things used to be. My grandmother told me about the 60’s being wonderful for dating. She said a lot of people were free and happy. It’s weird how things evolve. Covid, matter for another thread I guess. In a few words though; the more sexual women stayed in and signed up for oniphanz, more relationship oriented went out. It lead to a fucking up of the system." Hmm. I think that a lot of people were free and happy in the 60s but only in comparison to the previous generation who'd been weighed down by war. This discussion could go round and round but the main thing is that relationships are complicated. I'm lucky he's put up with me for longer than you've been alive | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". You may well be right to a large extent, but consider this; “Many women feel that just because they give sex that it entitles them to a relationship”. It hits hard right? It’s brutal, but it’s a truth that men are afraid to express. It doesn't hit me hard. I was 20 in 1976, society's expectations of women were much the same as they are now but more rigourosly enforced by peer pressure and disapproval. It was widely believed that men wanted sex and it was a woman's duty to prevent him from having it because nice girls only had sex in long term relationships. Hence the expectation from women that once they'd 'given in' they would then be in a relationship. I can recall a friend of mine crying because she'd slept with a guy and he didn't want to see her again, she felt ashamed. A lot of this could be solved by everyone realising that sex and love are two different things altogether and that monogamy isn't for everyone. However societal norms and people failing to be honest with each other about what they want from a relationship stop this happening. I really wish there was some sort of questionnaire that people had to answer before they met each other That’s fascinating… It’s got very weird though, especially since Covid. Is it! What's got weird since COVID? It is fascinating to me yes, because I’m 39. I have little to no awareness of how things used to be. My grandmother told me about the 60’s being wonderful for dating. She said a lot of people were free and happy. It’s weird how things evolve. Covid, matter for another thread I guess. In a few words though; the more sexual women stayed in and signed up for oniphanz, more relationship oriented went out. It lead to a fucking up of the system. Hmm. I think that a lot of people were free and happy in the 60s but only in comparison to the previous generation who'd been weighed down by war. This discussion could go round and round but the main thing is that relationships are complicated. I'm lucky he's put up with me for longer than you've been alive " Yes, that’s got to be something to do with it. The other thing is ofcourse, that around the 50’s, there would have been a small shortage of men. Obviously, this would skew things into a different perspective. Not a very nice thing, but it’s the truth. It must have been a very traumatic time. Obviously, with a lack of men, and/or a surplus of women, women would have been more sexual for sure! | |||
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"We were... Mrs here one half of Mischief Managed. All to do with my age and perimenopause.. I didn't realise just how bad it was, I didnt want sex, didnt think about it, it felt different and when we tried it just didnt work for me. Battled my way with the GP and got prescribed some testosterone along with my regular HRT ... literally changed our sex lives back to how we used to be! Hence were back after a 3 yr break. im very happy for you, did you let your partner lnow during the process and were you honest and committed to solve the problem, i think these are the keys "Yes we talk about everything, I mean we had our moments where i couldn't express how or why I was feeling the way I was.. all hormone related but we're out the other side communication is key. | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". You may well be right to a large extent, but consider this; “Many women feel that just because they give sex that it entitles them to a relationship”. It hits hard right? It’s brutal, but it’s a truth that men are afraid to express. It doesn't hit me hard. I was 20 in 1976, society's expectations of women were much the same as they are now but more rigourosly enforced by peer pressure and disapproval. It was widely believed that men wanted sex and it was a woman's duty to prevent him from having it because nice girls only had sex in long term relationships. Hence the expectation from women that once they'd 'given in' they would then be in a relationship. I can recall a friend of mine crying because she'd slept with a guy and he didn't want to see her again, she felt ashamed. A lot of this could be solved by everyone realising that sex and love are two different things altogether and that monogamy isn't for everyone. However societal norms and people failing to be honest with each other about what they want from a relationship stop this happening. I really wish there was some sort of questionnaire that people had to answer before they met each other That’s fascinating… It’s got very weird though, especially since Covid. Is it! What's got weird since COVID? It is fascinating to me yes, because I’m 39. I have little to no awareness of how things used to be. My grandmother told me about the 60’s being wonderful for dating. She said a lot of people were free and happy. It’s weird how things evolve. Covid, matter for another thread I guess. In a few words though; the more sexual women stayed in and signed up for oniphanz, more relationship oriented went out. It lead to a fucking up of the system. Hmm. I think that a lot of people were free and happy in the 60s but only in comparison to the previous generation who'd been weighed down by war. This discussion could go round and round but the main thing is that relationships are complicated. I'm lucky he's put up with me for longer than you've been alive Yes, that’s got to be something to do with it. The other thing is ofcourse, that around the 50’s, there would have been a small shortage of men. Obviously, this would skew things into a different perspective. Not a very nice thing, but it’s the truth. It must have been a very traumatic time. Obviously, with a lack of men, and/or a surplus of women, women would have been more sexual for sure! " The fear of pregnancy stopped many women from fully expressing their sexuality. It was no easy thing in the fifties to be an unmarried mother and you couldn't easily get contraception unless you were married. I honestly don't think that people realise how much women have had to repress their need for sex due to the expectations placed upon them | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". You may well be right to a large extent, but consider this; “Many women feel that just because they give sex that it entitles them to a relationship”. It hits hard right? It’s brutal, but it’s a truth that men are afraid to express. It doesn't hit me hard. I was 20 in 1976, society's expectations of women were much the same as they are now but more rigourosly enforced by peer pressure and disapproval. It was widely believed that men wanted sex and it was a woman's duty to prevent him from having it because nice girls only had sex in long term relationships. Hence the expectation from women that once they'd 'given in' they would then be in a relationship. I can recall a friend of mine crying because she'd slept with a guy and he didn't want to see her again, she felt ashamed. A lot of this could be solved by everyone realising that sex and love are two different things altogether and that monogamy isn't for everyone. However societal norms and people failing to be honest with each other about what they want from a relationship stop this happening. I really wish there was some sort of questionnaire that people had to answer before they met each other That’s fascinating… It’s got very weird though, especially since Covid. Is it! What's got weird since COVID? It is fascinating to me yes, because I’m 39. I have little to no awareness of how things used to be. My grandmother told me about the 60’s being wonderful for dating. She said a lot of people were free and happy. It’s weird how things evolve. Covid, matter for another thread I guess. In a few words though; the more sexual women stayed in and signed up for oniphanz, more relationship oriented went out. It lead to a fucking up of the system. Hmm. I think that a lot of people were free and happy in the 60s but only in comparison to the previous generation who'd been weighed down by war. This discussion could go round and round but the main thing is that relationships are complicated. I'm lucky he's put up with me for longer than you've been alive Yes, that’s got to be something to do with it. The other thing is ofcourse, that around the 50’s, there would have been a small shortage of men. Obviously, this would skew things into a different perspective. Not a very nice thing, but it’s the truth. It must have been a very traumatic time. Obviously, with a lack of men, and/or a surplus of women, women would have been more sexual for sure! The fear of pregnancy stopped many women from fully expressing their sexuality. It was no easy thing in the fifties to be an unmarried mother and you couldn't easily get contraception unless you were married. I honestly don't think that people realise how much women have had to repress their need for sex due to the expectations placed upon them " Interesting… So, my surname, obviously my real surname, it’s not “accurate”. The reason being was because one of my ancestors was born in 1913 before marriage. For this reason, he’s not mentioned in the war memorial note of his father as a son (he was illegitimate). He took on the woman’s name. It’s still the same too. The woman’s name was passed down. My surname is the woman’s name, it’s not actually the father’s name. What happened then, in 1914, they got married. His sure name was not changed from the woman’s name. He was killed in Gaza in 1917. Those wars caused devastation upon everything around us. | |||
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"I’ve been thinking a lot about how harshly people judge those who open up about intimacy deprivation. The narrative is always that the person complaining is just "horny," selfish, or insensitive. But no one talks about the actual trap. When you are stuck in an intimacy-free relationship, your options are completely blocked. If you seek it outside, you're a cheater. If you try to get it inside, you're met with rejection. If you ask for it, you risk disgusting your partner or causing a fight. Physical connection is hardwired into human nature. It is a fundamental part of our mental and emotional well-being. Expecting a partner to just shut down their feelings, accept nothing, and pretend they don't have basic human needs is deeply unfair. It's time we start having more empathy for the people stuck in this silent struggle. I think the way it's expressed is sometimes the problem. It seems to me as woman reading these threads that many men feel an entitlement to sex and can't understand why that isn't being met. That could well be becau se they don't have any other way of saying "look I don't feel loved and it's causing me big problems". You may well be right to a large extent, but consider this; “Many women feel that just because they give sex that it entitles them to a relationship”. It hits hard right? It’s brutal, but it’s a truth that men are afraid to express. It doesn't hit me hard. I was 20 in 1976, society's expectations of women were much the same as they are now but more rigourosly enforced by peer pressure and disapproval. It was widely believed that men wanted sex and it was a woman's duty to prevent him from having it because nice girls only had sex in long term relationships. Hence the expectation from women that once they'd 'given in' they would then be in a relationship. I can recall a friend of mine crying because she'd slept with a guy and he didn't want to see her again, she felt ashamed. A lot of this could be solved by everyone realising that sex and love are two different things altogether and that monogamy isn't for everyone. However societal norms and people failing to be honest with each other about what they want from a relationship stop this happening. I really wish there was some sort of questionnaire that people had to answer before they met each other That’s fascinating… It’s got very weird though, especially since Covid. Is it! What's got weird since COVID? It is fascinating to me yes, because I’m 39. I have little to no awareness of how things used to be. My grandmother told me about the 60’s being wonderful for dating. She said a lot of people were free and happy. It’s weird how things evolve. Covid, matter for another thread I guess. In a few words though; the more sexual women stayed in and signed up for oniphanz, more relationship oriented went out. It lead to a fucking up of the system. Hmm. I think that a lot of people were free and happy in the 60s but only in comparison to the previous generation who'd been weighed down by war. This discussion could go round and round but the main thing is that relationships are complicated. I'm lucky he's put up with me for longer than you've been alive Yes, that’s got to be something to do with it. The other thing is ofcourse, that around the 50’s, there would have been a small shortage of men. Obviously, this would skew things into a different perspective. Not a very nice thing, but it’s the truth. It must have been a very traumatic time. Obviously, with a lack of men, and/or a surplus of women, women would have been more sexual for sure! The fear of pregnancy stopped many women from fully expressing their sexuality. It was no easy thing in the fifties to be an unmarried mother and you couldn't easily get contraception unless you were married. I honestly don't think that people realise how much women have had to repress their need for sex due to the expectations placed upon them Interesting… So, my surname, obviously my real surname, it’s not “accurate”. The reason being was because one of my ancestors was born in 1913 before marriage. For this reason, he’s not mentioned in the war memorial note of his father as a son (he was illegitimate). He took on the woman’s name. It’s still the same too. The woman’s name was passed down. My surname is the woman’s name, it’s not actually the father’s name. What happened then, in 1914, they got married. His sure name was not changed from the woman’s name. He was killed in Gaza in 1917. Those wars caused devastation upon everything around us. " They did but we've wandered far from the original point although I think it goes so evway towards greater understanding between everyone concerned. It doesn't help the people who want sex with someone they hold in high regard but can't get it though | |||
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"I wonder who is here in such a situation " • Indeed — so many women on here are facing this predicament, hence why they are on Fåb. ✔️ | |||
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