FabSwingers.com forum: Read and no reply.

By (user no longer on site) OP
2 weeks ago

My personal view is if I message someone and they read and don’t reply it means I’m not for them which is fine, then I block them so I don’t see there profile anymore. Anyone else do this or just me?

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple
2 weeks ago

North Somerset

Sounds like a good plan.

If only more people did this and understood that no reply isn't some sort of insult or rude behaviour. 🤷‍♂️

Nice to see a sensible attitude for a change. 👏👏

Obi

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By *recklesAndGymMan
2 weeks ago

North West

I don't block them, but I do remove them from any hotlist. No reply means no and I respect that.

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By *issmorganWoman
2 weeks ago

Yorks

I think that's very sensible op and the block is there to use to make your time on fab easier.

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By *oodo222Man
2 weeks ago

bryn

I mostly add that comment to any message read with no reply is taken as a polite no thank you

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By *oodo222Man
2 weeks ago

bryn

"I mostly add that comment to any message read with no reply is taken as a polite no thank you"

Sadly I get few replies

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By *WB85Man
2 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I give people time to reply, as not everyone is here to do it instantly.

After a week or so I will block to avoid messaging them again.

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By *rYoniMan
2 weeks ago

Essex ++

"My personal view is if I message someone and they read and don’t reply it means I’m not for them which is fine, then I block them so I don’t see there profile anymore. Anyone else do this or just me? "

You might just not be for them at that precise moment. Or indeed nobody might be for them at that precise moment as they are not looking.

I've had lots of meet where the first message got read and no reply. Then I message weeks or months later when they were actively looking to meet or I had something specific that met their interest and got a reply and ended up meeting.

When I met my ex-partner first message was deleted, second message was read but no reply and then third message she read and we met soon after and were together for years. She was in meeting mode on third time but not the first two and was inundated with messages. Of course there was a few weeks between messages and I was perfectly polite but repeat respectful messages worked. You may be missing out by immediately blocking.

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By *arkAdonis2026Man
2 weeks ago

Bury

I've seen a few people say this, but when I block someone they still show up in my searches.

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
2 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

"I give people time to reply, as not everyone is here to do it instantly.

After a week or so I will block to avoid messaging them again. "

I was going to say this, we often especially with couples have our messages left on read for days on end. They eventually reply to say that they were busy or one partner had read but waiting for the other partner to read also before replying, other times they had read it but forgot to reply and another time read it then didn’t have signal as was away camping, so you could be missing out if you just block them?

We travel lots for work and I’m normally on fab for the forums whilst beast is driving and the amount of times I read a message but then don’t have any signal especially on the B roads and then can’t reply, we have found our selves blocked just after a hour when I would have replied but didn’t have any signal to do so. It’s still a good idea so not to accidently message again just maybe don’t do it so soon?

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By *rYoniMan
2 weeks ago

Essex ++

"I give people time to reply, as not everyone is here to do it instantly.

After a week or so I will block to avoid messaging them again.

Yep agree with this overall but I still think messaging again is fine after a suitable interlude and in a polite way if you genuinely tick their boxes. People are just too busy to reply sometimes or not in a reply/meet mode but another time they might be.

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By *unner6969Man
2 weeks ago

Kent

I block people if I get a reply saying “Not for me”, or similar, or if my message to them is deleted without response.

“Read, no reply but not deleted” - I assume means more of a “Maybe”.

I also block those that I don’t find attractive (this can be physical appearance, profile style, or content).

I block all these to ensure I don’t pester them, not because of any nastiness on my part. I also block those that are rude/abusive, timewasters, spammers and scammers, etc.

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By *aomilatteCouple
2 weeks ago

Midlands

I've seen a few people say this, but when I block someone they still show up in my searches."

If they're blocked they won't show up in a search.

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By *rYoniMan
2 weeks ago

Essex ++

I block people if I get a reply saying “Not for me”, or similar, or if my message to them is deleted without response.

“Read, no reply but not deleted” - I assume means more of a “Maybe”.

I also block those that I don’t find attractive (this can be physical appearance, profile style, or content).

I block all these to ensure I don’t pester them, not because of any nastiness on my part. I also block those that are rude/abusive, timewasters, spammers and scammers, etc."

Yep I think a "maybe" is a better way of looking at it.

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
2 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

"I give people time to reply, as not everyone is here to do it instantly.

After a week or so I will block to avoid messaging them again.

Yeah to be fair we have messaged again before just to check but politely and actually did get a response, I can’t speak for single men but I know due to the amount of messages people get off them that it might be harder for them to get a response anyway.

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By *ittle miss sunshineWoman
2 weeks ago

south sheilds

Sometimes I read a message and then get distracted and forget all about it 😂

I'm not ignoring peeps I'm just crap with communication 😂

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By *ewbie_104Man
2 weeks ago

London

"Sometimes I read a message and then get distracted and forget all about it 😂

I'm not ignoring peeps I'm just crap with communication 😂"

I keep telling myself this is why I don’t get replies! But I think most times I’m just kidding myself! 🤪

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By *artorialMan
2 weeks ago

weymouth

I don't block but the site tells you that you've messaged them with no reply. Blocking removes the faint possibility of them responding several weeks later. But I don't re- message balls in their court.

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By *arkAdonis2026Man
2 weeks ago

Bury

I've seen a few people say this, but when I block someone they still show up in my searches.

If they're blocked they won't show up in a search. "

Guess it's just me then.

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By *nickers909Couple
2 weeks ago

Solihull

If we do read and ignore we find we get a message like "?" Soon after

Then "rude"

Cant win

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By *lley-CatMan
2 weeks ago

Folkestone

Exactly what I do. It saves me wasting their time in the future.

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By *eepee25Couple
2 weeks ago

South Yorkshire

Sounds like most of u guys in this thread have the right idea. Honestly the amount of msgs we get along the lines of ‘meet now’ or ‘I’m staying in hotel near by’ ect is unbelievable then when we don’t reply we get called rude or followed up with 20 more msgs! No reply is a reply in my eyes! And if folk are that pushy over messages I dread to think what they’re like in real life!.. then the same guys have the cheek to post status updates along the lines of ‘it’s boring here’…. Sorry for the rant 😂

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By *recklesAndGymMan
2 weeks ago

North West

"If we do read and ignore we find we get a message like "?" Soon after

Then "rude"

Cant win "

Some people just can't take a hint can they

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By *ersatilefoxMan
2 weeks ago

Notts

Yep I do, always have, just saves going through the process of messaging again

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By *eroLondonMan
2 weeks ago

Mayfair

When I first joined Fab many years ago I used to (occasionally) block those who didn't reply as a form of 'false logic'.

I met some of them much later at a few London socials and they:

• became friends and...more.

• informed me that they would sometimes do a mass delete of all read/unread messages. It wasn't personal, just housekeeping activities.

If you're messaging people who are 400 miles away then, yeah, knock yourself out and block them. The likelihood of meeting is diminished.

The lesson I learnt was to employ the block function for more sinister reasons.

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By *onathanjonesMan
2 weeks ago

Chester

I block if they don’t respond by the next day. It isn’t entirely foolproof though.

One time I met a lady at a local club. She was lovely. I gave her my profile name, she went to see it and she was blocked.

She told me about it, I unblocked, looked at what I’d sent her and said to her “ahhhh, you read and deleted when I sent you a quality message, so I’d blocked you”. She was shocked about it, got a bit defensive and upset. How dare a man refuse a woman? What gives a man the right to do such a thing?!

It’s a different situation in a club when they see that you’re happy, fun, chatty, brimming with confidence, and so on.

The lesson is; if you like quality messages, show some sort of acknowledgment. The best guys won’t double/triple message you.

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By *unner6969Man
2 weeks ago

Kent

It does hurt a little bit when you are blocked though “Perhaps I shouldn’t have sent my photo….”

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By *wodoswingCouple
2 weeks ago

swindon

It is quite clear in our profile what are preferences are, but still get messages from guys who have clearly not read our profile. So tend not to reply. Also we have given a polite reply and then you get the wueztion why and an abusive messsge back. So some times its pays not to reply.

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By *enleywoodsCouple
2 weeks ago

Oxford / Stourbridge

No reply to a first message I take as a "No", or at least "Not just now". We may ask again a few months later if we think there may be a match, or just wink to test the waters. FAb warns you if you follow up on a no reply.

What does annoy me is when you have a conversation and exchange messages and then the replies just stop. When you are already chatting I think a polite "We've decided not, thanks" would be better.

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By *JCRoseWoman
2 weeks ago

Caversham

I will admit I have opened messages and not had chance to to reply to them as either busy or only had a few minutes to log on. I am very lucky that I get a lot however this does mean messages can be lost very quickly so I can't respond.

Alot of the time for me unless we have spoken before it is timing it right your message has come through and I have time to reply.

If they are not for me I do tend to delete the messages as a simple no thanks has lead to more hassle, but if read and left open I usually want to reply at some point.

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By *rYoniMan
2 weeks ago

Essex ++

"I will admit I have opened messages and not had chance to to reply to them as either busy or only had a few minutes to log on. I am very lucky that I get a lot however this does mean messages can be lost very quickly so I can't respond.

Alot of the time for me unless we have spoken before it is timing it right your message has come through and I have time to reply.

If they are not for me I do tend to delete the messages as a simple no thanks has lead to more hassle, but if read and left open I usually want to reply at some point."

Thank you expressing the other side of the common sense interpretation of why messaged are read but not replied to sometimes. Assuming the worst and blocking seems very counterproductive and would have prevented me from having some great times.

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By *aandLoCouple
2 weeks ago

Southampton

"It is quite clear in our profile what are preferences are, but still get messages from guys who have clearly not read our profile. So tend not to reply. Also we have given a polite reply and then you get the wueztion why and an abusive messsge back. So some times its pays not to reply. "

That's a similar approach to us.

It's quite clear in our profile what dynamics we are not interested in, and what messages will not get a reply. If someone chooses to ignore that, or more likely hasn't bothered to read our bio, they are not entitled to any response. We will block and delete.

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By *acavityMan
2 weeks ago

Redditch

I make a private note, saying I have messaged them and whether they deleted it etc.

Don’t want to close a door, but I won’t knock again…

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By *arkAdonis2026Man
2 weeks ago

Bury

"Sounds like most of u guys in this thread have the right idea. Honestly the amount of msgs we get along the lines of ‘meet now’ or ‘I’m staying in hotel near by’ ect is unbelievable then when we don’t reply we get called rude or followed up with 20 more msgs! No reply is a reply in my eyes! And if folk are that pushy over messages I dread to think what they’re like in real life!.. then the same guys have the cheek to post status updates along the lines of ‘it’s boring here’…. Sorry for the rant 😂"

I get the same kind of thing, the funny part is I've offered to meet a few of the guys who post statuses like "Does anyone actually meet here?" and they all flake! 🤣Projection at it's finest.

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By *eralDeviantWoman
2 weeks ago

Hull

If i have read it and not deleted it then ive read their profile and been a smidgen disappointed they didnt read mine. Or find anything between our two profiles to raise for a conversation in their first message so i leave it there incase they find their muse.

If ive read and blocked im avoiding a redflag i cant tolerate in my risk profile.

If i havent read, i probably have im just not in the head space to respond to the overall vibe of the message/profile and what i expect that person wants.

Blocking me because i havent replied just means at a later date, in a few years if we aligned then that opportunity is lost. Which may be no loss to either of us.. Who would know

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By *he Happy ManMan
2 weeks ago

Merseyside

I am old now so I don't message as much. When I did send out messages I would delete them from my sent messages. If I got a reply great. If I didn't get a reply I would just assume I am not for them.

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By *he Happy ManMan
2 weeks ago

Merseyside

I've seen a few people say this, but when I block someone they still show up in my searches.

If they're blocked they won't show up in a search. "

This. People you have blocked will not show up in your searches.

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By *enleywoodsCouple
2 weeks ago

Oxford / Stourbridge

"I am old now so I don't message as much."

Old! You're not even 60!

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By *omewittynameMan
2 weeks ago

livingston

If read and no reply I dont block just in case they were busy. I have had replies a few days after they opened the message. But I do make a little note that there was no reply. If message is deleted that is an instant block

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By *ins and secretsWoman
2 weeks ago

Glasgow and SW Scotland

I don’t want to interact with people I’m not interested in, mainly because it leads to them thinking they can try to convince me.

There has definitely been a rise in incel type messages instructing me to reply to men because I’m online and that makes me available

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By *knightforpassionMan
2 weeks ago

South Central

Hi OP

I do the exact same thing, I had to learn the hard way.. although if someone just deleted it I would be the same .. I’m clearly not what they want

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By *ousteau72Man
2 weeks ago

Wombourne

Absolutely agree. I use the block system too as you can't remember everyone and it saves wasting their time and more importantly mine!

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By *rYoniMan
2 weeks ago

Essex ++

"Absolutely agree. I use the block system too as you can't remember everyone and it saves wasting their time and more importantly mine!"

How does it waste their time if you don't block them? Blocking them might waste their time as when they come to write a reply a few days later potentially they will type the reply and then go to send and will get the message saying "blocked".

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
2 weeks ago

Central

It's reasonable but sometimes I wait to reply, so would get blocked this way, if it was almost instant blocking. Best to ignore what's sent, for a comfortable time for replies to be sent or just ignore what's sent. I rarely revisit unless it's important

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By *oyalewithcheeseCouple
2 weeks ago

Stoke

we do this too xx

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By *UBLINCASTLEMan
2 weeks ago

DUBLIN

Read no reply is a reply.

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By *rYoniMan
2 weeks ago

Essex ++

"Read no reply is a reply. "

Well it's a very ambiguous reply at best as it could mean many things good, bad or neutral. The replies in this thread show that.

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