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question(advice) from the girls

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of curiosity does the wife know you playing as if not its not good you wed so long and treating with so little respect.

Poor show mate

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

You need to talk it through with the OH.

We probably need more details.

Have you discussed swinging with her, does she know you are on this site?

Did she used to be more active, what's changed?

If you prefer her, just want sex more often than she does - try and work it out.

You clearly state you are attached on the profile, but cheating will not help your marriage.

Good luck.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive? "

ALL women not on this site lack a sex drive? I think it's more than likely that there are many many women not on this site who don't lack a sex drive.

There's no way of knowing what the case is with you and your wife, so I can't help you there I am afraid.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i dont think you can generalise all women as to those on here and those not really.

maybe she just doesnt fancy you anymore?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Out of curiosity does the wife know you playing as if not its not good you wed so long and treating with so little respect.

Poor show mate"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive? "

Oh dear yet again another cheating husband..... sorry but there's no sympathy from me and i'm the female half of this relationship.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive? "

There's nothing wrong with either of you. Some people want sex every day, some people are happy with every couple of weeks or even less than that. The problem is when two people have different sex drives.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive? "

You need to show your partner the courtesy of discussing this with her properly and trying to address the disparity in your sex drives and the respect to not discuss her on a swinging site with complete strangers. You also need to show us the respect of calling us women not girls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive?

You need to show your partner the courtesy of discussing this with her properly and trying to address the disparity in your sex drives and the respect to not discuss her on a swinging site with complete strangers. You also need to show us the respect of calling us women not girls. "

True

Get honest

Get it sorted

Be free of this drama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive? "

It is true that (on average) a women's sex drive peaks quite a lot later than a man's sex drive does.

So assuming that your wife is slightly younger than you (which is the average), she's in her early 30's and will approach her peak sex drive, in a few years.... when the kids have stopped demanding 24/7 attention. You're in your mid-thirties, hoping not to have to give in to a sexless marriage, while you're still fairly rampant.

I would suggest it depends on how much you love the wife/kids. If you've got a happy family situation, give it a few more years, and you will reap the rewards of her increased sexuality, in a few years.

If you're not in a happy family sitution, you should think seriously about whether you should extracate yourself from a marriage-which-you-don't-feel-sexually-fulfilled, while there is still time to make a different life choice.

The one thing I wouldn't advice is coming on here as "married and cheating", unless you have a VERY good reason, as very many female members don't appreciate it.

Good luck with whatever your circumstances and whatever you decide.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hes not met anyone yet so maybe he is on here looking for advice x

If you love your wife cheating is not the answer communication is.

question 1 have you always had different sex drives or has it changed through the relationship. Did it change when she had children lots of reasons why sex drive changes.

Maybe talk to her and try putting some romance back into your lives try date nights etc showing her you love and support her show her oodles of attention.

Maybe she is bored in the bedroom too try shaking it up a bit.

Talk, talk talk and not just about sex x

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester

Come on ladies. Some of you are so judgmental. He obviously cares about his relationship otherwise he wouldnt be asking the question. He'd just be having sex with others without thinking about his wife.

Anyway, it seems that different people have different sex drives.

My gf gives it to me pretty much every day. BUT... I don't think she actually wants to. She's not really that enthusiastic about it. I think maybe she does it to keep me happy, but that doesn't make me happy, her being happy makes me happy. Anyway, that's me and her.

About communication, its not that easy. My gf doesn't talk about sex. She will refuse to talk about anything naughty or more fun. I don't know why but I can't ask or I get in the dog house. I have no idea why... Anyway, talking to her about sex is a no no. Maybe your wife is the same?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive? "

thank you for all replys but as someone mentioned i have not put up a lot of details. I am not married. We have talked . We have no kids. I am here for curiosity so i believe i owe my sincere apologies as lot of profiles talk about fakers but in my defence i have not agreed to meet with anyone .

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Maybe she has a profile on a swinging site somewhere and is getting plenty?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Come on ladies. Some of you are so judgmental. He obviously cares about his relationship otherwise he wouldnt be asking the question. He'd just be having sex with others without thinking about his

"

Don't patronise, saying that discussing his partner who presumably he loves, on an internet forum, with strangers is disrespectful isn't judging it's true. You don't solve problems of communication about sensitive matters by telling thousands of people that your partner has a different sex drive or for that matter that she only has sex to please you. What you do is explain that you understand there is a problem, it has reached a stage where you're unhappy and you want to seek help....together. Imagine how you would feel if you came across a similar thread about yourself, hurt and disrespected I suspect.

Talk people! And if they won't talk back.explain that it's a deal breaker and you will help them communicate.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive?

thank you for all replys but as someone mentioned i have not put up a lot of details. I am not married. We have talked . We have no kids. I am here for curiosity so i believe i owe my sincere apologies as lot of profiles talk about fakers but in my defence i have not agreed to meet with anyone . "

Yet!

This is not the way to solve your problem, if your partner found your profile somehow imagine the hurt and the difficulty in getting your relationship back to even the stage it's at now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Every couple of weeks".......

Wow - I'd love it that often..!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive? "
Ive been married since 1983. got married before I was 20, 2 kids aged 23 and 26. No physical contact since the youngest was about 10 or 11, ok you may not believe me but its true. There is a reason it stopped then but im not saying why because its pretty pathetic and another reason I think is that over the years I got fat and it turned him off. This is just a reply to the post not a look at me answer. I guess our sex drives arent as high as most

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive?

thank you for all replys but as someone mentioned i have not put up a lot of details. I am not married. We have talked . We have no kids. I am here for curiosity so i believe i owe my sincere apologies as lot of profiles talk about fakers but in my defence i have not agreed to meet with anyone . "

So you think that because you are not actually married, that makes a difference??? You say you have talked but does she know about your profile....i doubt it very much. Also you say you havent arranged to meet anyone yet.....WTF?? This site is for genuine swingers who shouldnt lie or cheat or just browse. Sorry to be so hard but i really have no sympathy for whining partners in a relationship that arent getting what they want.....sort out that side of your relationship or move on, its really quite simple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The site isn't for genuine swingers who shouldn't 'lie or cheat or browse'. It is for genuine swingers.

The guy is after advice. People commenting just to vent their disgust should go elsewhere. We all have our own opinions on cheating but that does not mean we express our disgust at those who cheat nor attempt to say this site it not for those who cheat. Some people play away and some people on this site meet people who play away. It is their own choice.

Back to the point people's sex drives differ. It can be a common problem in relationships. You can try and get her in the mood in various fashions but it may not work. You may have to accept her sex drive will not change and then decide what is best for you given this.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"The site isn't for genuine swingers who shouldn't 'lie or cheat or browse'. It is for genuine swingers.

The guy is after advice. People commenting just to vent their disgust should go elsewhere. We all have our own opinions on cheating but that does not mean we express our disgust at those who cheat nor attempt to say this site it not for those who cheat. Some people play away and some people on this site meet people who play away. It is their own choice.

Back to the point people's sex drives differ. It can be a common problem in relationships. You can try and get her in the mood in various fashions but it may not work. You may have to accept her sex drive will not change and then decide what is best for you given this.

"

Exactly...

People's sex drives can change though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The site isn't for genuine swingers who shouldn't 'lie or cheat or browse'. It is for genuine swingers.

The guy is after advice. People commenting just to vent their disgust should go elsewhere. We all have our own opinions on cheating but that does not mean we express our disgust at those who cheat nor attempt to say this site it not for those who cheat. Some people play away and some people on this site meet people who play away. It is their own choice.

Back to the point people's sex drives differ. It can be a common problem in relationships. You can try and get her in the mood in various fashions but it may not work. You may have to accept her sex drive will not change and then decide what is best for you given this.

"

I dont believe i was 'venting my disgust' i was simply saying that a swinging site is not for advice on a relationship and i feel being on this site will certainly not help the relationship.....what if she found out?? The hurt and pain he will cause will definitely out way his issue with her sex drive, so sorry but thats a fact not a vent

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By *awkeye and HotlipsCouple
over a year ago

Takeley

Talking certainly helps, but clearly if she doesn't want to talk about it, perhaps there are deeper issues there? The Op clearly cares about his gf, perhaps this isn't the right forum for him to express himself...it might be better if he was to concentrate on making his gf feel more desired and wanted, men and women ( thankfully ) are different, concentrate on refreshing your relationship, what attracted you to each other in the first case. Re being judgemental: we all have our compasses, however cannot be held accountable for others choices, it's life, it happens, people cheat....they usually get found out and face the consequences, that is their problem!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she's on here getting it from someone else and is being dutiful by banging you every couple of weeks?

Seriously, talk to her, involve her, spoil her, love her. Maybe you are spending too much time on here and not with her and she is feeling excluded from your life, alone and lacking confidence as she is not getting the attention she used to from you. Time to step away from the keyboard mate, if she means that much to you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The site isn't for genuine swingers who shouldn't 'lie or cheat or browse'. It is for genuine swingers.

The guy is after advice. People commenting just to vent their disgust should go elsewhere. We all have our own opinions on cheating but that does not mean we express our disgust at those who cheat nor attempt to say this site it not for those who cheat. Some people play away and some people on this site meet people who play away. It is their own choice.

Back to the point people's sex drives differ. It can be a common problem in relationships. You can try and get her in the mood in various fashions but it may not work. You may have to accept her sex drive will not change and then decide what is best for you given this.

I dont believe i was 'venting my disgust' i was simply saying that a swinging site is not for advice on a relationship and i feel being on this site will certainly not help the relationship.....what if she found out?? The hurt and pain he will cause will definitely out way his issue with her sex drive, so sorry but thats a fact not a vent "

Sometimes it is easier coming on here to ask advice and open up to strangers than seeking help from friends most of us swingers lead two seperate lives our day to day lives and our swinging lives this is one of the reasons I have had trouble opening up to my councilor and for how much to divulge. I am not ashamed of my swinging life but that is totally private x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive?

You need to show your partner the courtesy of discussing this with her properly and trying to address the disparity in your sex drives and the respect to not discuss her on a swinging site with complete strangers. You also need to show us the respect of calling us women not girls. "

Well Said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Oh dear yet again another cheating husband..... sorry but there's no sympathy from me and i'm the female half of this relationship..... "

And there's not one woman on here doing just the same is there!!!!!!! Same old same old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The site isn't for genuine swingers who shouldn't 'lie or cheat or browse'. It is for genuine swingers.

The guy is after advice. People commenting just to vent their disgust should go elsewhere. We all have our own opinions on cheating but that does not mean we express our disgust at those who cheat nor attempt to say this site it not for those who cheat. Some people play away and some people on this site meet people who play away. It is their own choice.

Back to the point people's sex drives differ. It can be a common problem in relationships. You can try and get her in the mood in various fashions but it may not work. You may have to accept her sex drive will not change and then decide what is best for you given this.

"
couldn't agree more. Way to many holy ppl on here. Its a swing site for ffs not church

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow! I am so lucky. Hubby and I have equally high sex drives, talk about everything not just sex and have fun on this site. I am one lucky gal!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow! I am so lucky. Hubby and I have equally high sex drives, talk about everything not just sex and have fun on this site. I am one lucky gal!

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

very difficult one this .

as my ex wanted sex all the time if we

went from one weekend to another without he would say you not love me you not want

me and considering he worked nites there wasn't always time for sex .but i had sex with him to keep him happy suppose thats why now in a way i not miss it.

every cpl of weeks is probably enough for her but clearly not you ,so you need to talk to her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive? "

your wifes lucky, wish my hubby wanted sex with me all the time.

once every two weeks isnt good enough.

should be at least once a week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and your only 35, i could understand it maybe if you were getting on a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My partner and i have been together for 22 years, we have always had an equal sex drive but NEVER taken it for granted.Like most people, work and family commitments always get in the way of our sex-life, with late and different working hours its easy to let it slip and before you know it the need for intimacy has been sacrificed for other things.We always make sure we have some quality time together each month, even if its just 24 hours alone together, switch off the phone get the kids babysat and just concentrate on each other and your relationship.We have found this kind of intimacy increases your love and desire, and we 'top it up" in between with stolen kisses, messages to each other and little presents or displays of affection.This has worked for us so that even if we havent time for a great session we stay connected.....good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am in a relationship which is nearly 2 decade long. Other half said there has to be something wrong with me as i want to have sex with her all The time . She is happy with it every couple of weeks. So is there something wrong with me or is it that all women that aren't on this site lak a sex drive? "

nothing wrong with either of you, you just have different sex drives, there's no right or wrong we are just all different, its just when two people come together who don't have the same sex drive you get problems

Personally i'd love to be in a relationship where I got sex daily but i'm not so we have to make do with what we get

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Every couple of weeks".......

Wow - I'd love it that often..!!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/07/13 14:12:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Each to there own, my mr s and I are at it most nights. I love sex some women go off it for some reason or another. But you should make an effort to talk to your partner and respect her feelings and maybe meet half way if you truly love her you wouldn't be on hear asking for advice you should be talking to the person that matters the most.

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