FabSwingers.com forum: How to reduce being paranoid

By *erbyshirebicouple OP Couple
3 weeks ago

buxton

Hi all

So before you read this, its not us its a friend of ours who is in the scene but did not want to post about it. The person in question and partner have different levels of experience. One is fairly new and the other has been doing it for a long time before the relationship started.

The one with the least experience is starting to feel paranoid a bit due to being previously cheated on and has got the offer to play with anyone anytime but still in this limbo while the other person is not that fussed and gets offers from people but says no due to this issue. What do you think the best approach is to a) help the one with least experience relax and enjoy the moment b) ensure its enjoyable for both sides and not affect anything like relationship etc.

What do you think? We were not too sure what to say apart from having to increase communication and ensure that the person is not going to get cheated on again

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By *allySlinkyWoman
3 weeks ago

Leeds

Could they start out by only meeting as a couple, not solo ?

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By *aandLoCouple
3 weeks ago

Southampton

Personally I think if there is any insecurity from either parties, swinging is not for them right now. The relationship should be more important than fucking random people.

Once both are 100% happy to explore swinging I'd agree that meeting as a couple until both parties are equally comfortable is a good idea.

That said is there a need for either to meet solo?

Or, perhaps a quasi-solo arrangement? We don't meet solo other than with people we've already played with, and only if we are both comfortable with it - and that is not assumed an ongoing agreement but occasion by occasion.

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By *aomilatteCouple
3 weeks ago

Midlands

The advice should be the same for everyone, only do what you're comfortable with. Many people's boundaries change over time but they should do that when they're happy too. Hopefully they won't have drama between them which is very common but doesn't get seen on Fab.

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By *WB85Man
3 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I'd suggest they both stopped their meets for the time being and work on their insecurities together.

Insecurities and jelaousy in swinging will never end well.

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
3 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

"I'd suggest they both stopped their meets for the time being and work on their insecurities together.

Insecurities and jelaousy in swinging will never end well.

I agree, whilst jealousy can creep in when sharing partners with someone else it has to be managed carefully and sometimes if it means taking a step back to work on the relationship then so be it.

I’ve been jealous before quite a lot beast not so much. We communicate and try to get to the bottom of why etc..

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By *ack DawXXXMan
3 weeks ago

Weybridge

I don't think swinging is a good option for anyone who feels insecure about that.

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By *lassiccokeorpepsimaxCouple
3 weeks ago

Cardiff

"I'd suggest they both stopped their meets for the time being and work on their insecurities together.

Insecurities and jelaousy in swinging will never end well.

This... With bells on

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By *aughtytogether08Couple
3 weeks ago

Bradford

I am in a similar situation, am new to this but my partner isn't,I have also been cheated on in the past, The way I see it, is trust, sex is only an act, there no meaning to it , it's fun. U have ur partners feeling and love, if u don't have trust then don't do it x

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By *etal.Man
3 weeks ago

Malice

Your friend is in for a world of hurt if they stay on this path. No one ever truly gets over betrayal. If it takes a week or a year, it's going to get them eventually.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Central

I think they need to establish the right foundation of trust, before they potentially jeopardise what they have.

Even if they did start the relationship on the basis that it could involve swinging, it doesn't mean that it ever has to m. The right pace is static until all are right, even moving slowly.

1 of them was harmed by someone else, so you need to have their wellbeing being the guiding influence now, in forming the fundamentals of this relationship. It's too easy for someone to get pressured, whilst they want to get the new relationship on the right footing, after former harm to them. 1 of them having an unbalanced level of experience, is a substantial pressure on the other and that responsibility needs to be handled only with full care and self control

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