FabSwingers.com forum: Got Verifs at last but nobody likes me still

By *rCallum OP Man
4 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I dont know what im doing wrong, is it the area im in.

Im starting to think its my appearance than anything else.

The AD club in Edinburgh seems to be more about couples, impact and pain more than anything else.

Where are all my sensual ladies, and do I look too young?

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By *aomilatteCouple
4 weeks ago

Midlands

Getting verifications doesn't automatically mean more meets. There are thousands of Men looking for Women on here, and Men far outnumber Women so you've got a lot of competition unfortunately.

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By *WB85Man
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

People think that verifications are like the unlock code of swinging....and it isnt.

It still required patience and effort.

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By *rightonsteveMan
4 weeks ago

Hove, mainly…

You have the understanding that having a verification will mean people should like you?

There’s a lot of choice out there, so you need to stand out. You stand out by being you because you’re unique.

Swinging also demands quite a bit of emotional intelligence. If that is lacking, it can be a very negative space in which to try and meet people.

At your age, I’d recommend a pub or a bar. Dead easy to chat to people there.

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By *oxesMan
4 weeks ago

Southend, Essex

"I dont know what im doing wrong, is it the area im in.

Im starting to think its my appearance than anything else.

The AD club in Edinburgh seems to be more about couples, impact and pain more than anything else.

Where are all my sensual ladies, and do I look too young?"

What you have for to remember is that there is apparently a 75:1 ratio of men to women plus women and couples are more selective over their choices.

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By *oiluvfunMan
4 weeks ago

Penrith

"I dont know what im doing wrong, is it the area im in.

Im starting to think its my appearance than anything else.

The AD club in Edinburgh seems to be more about couples, impact and pain more than anything else.

Where are all my sensual ladies, and do I look too young?"

Swinger clubs ARE for couples mate! Sorry you had to find that out the hard way……🙁

Surely Edinburgh has bars aplenty for you to hang out in? I can guarantee you this; pick any bar you like, and you will meet more ladies in there in one night, than………well probably months in Fab!

Expect nothing from Fab, and you won’t be disappointed, or get frustrated, but pleasantly surprised if something/someone your way comes….😎👌

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By *oiluvfunMan
4 weeks ago

Penrith

"People think that verifications are like the unlock code of swinging....and it isnt.

I totally agree! The other app I’ve used successfully alongside Fab doesn’t even run a verification system, so it all comes down to my initial message (it’s universally accepted that men have to open dialogue), then my personality through the ensuing conversation 😎

Don’t forget; veris can put people off you, if you’ve met someone, that a potential meet doesn’t like…..👍

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By *lik and PaulCouple
3 weeks ago

cahoots

OP you have 5 verifications, all from the club and sounds like people enjoyed your company.

Swinging isn't instashag and socialising is all part of the lifestyle so if that's not something you are interested in you may find it's not for you.

We have been to clubs on many occasions and socialised and nothing more as we would rather mix with like minded people.

Is £40 too much for 6 hours entertainment, only you can decide.

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By *rluckyknightMan
3 weeks ago

marske by sea

Id fuck you love xx

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By *ersatilefoxMan
3 weeks ago

Notts

"I dont know what im doing wrong, is it the area im in.

Im starting to think its my appearance than anything else.

The AD club in Edinburgh seems to be more about couples, impact and pain more than anything else.

You probably aren't doing anything wrong. Guys outnumber women 100:1 on here. The chance of you standing out as exceptional enough and then getting someone to notice and click on your profile are around the same as winning the Euro lottery.

Just keep plodding and maybe one day you'll get lucky.

Where are all my sensual ladies, and do I look too young?"

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By *entlemanFoxMan
3 weeks ago

North East / London

OP,

I suggest you try a different club before you give up.

After eight is unusual in that it doesn’t have a wet area, so no hot tub.

It is a bit school gym disco like with everyone sat round the edges in their own groups.

People tend to be more sociable while sat in a hot tub - just remember look talk, don’t touch until invited.

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By *homas400Man
3 weeks ago

Carmarthen / Llandeilo

At one point I was concerned that the few people I'd met or interacted with couldn't verify me as they were unverified themselves. I realised months later that it doesn't make much difference.

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By *inkyandthebrain2023Couple
3 weeks ago

Cheshire

A verification just shows you have gone out and met someone. Keep doing that and dont worry about the numbers. Also clubs and organised socials are where you will keep meeting. Yes its harder work for a male but most of our threesomes are with men as its so much easier to find.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
3 weeks ago

Central

As others say, it's about the right people for others and this includes preferences and attraction.

Fab needs persistent effort from you single men and the right people finding each other. Making realistic expectations is essential

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By *avid BlackhardtMan
3 weeks ago

Walsall

"I dont know what im doing wrong, is it the area im in.

Im starting to think its my appearance than anything else.

The AD club in Edinburgh seems to be more about couples, impact and pain more than anything else.

Where are all my sensual ladies, and do I look too young?"

It isnt a dating site. Get used to it. Treat this site as a bit of fun and enjoy it for what it is. 99% of my meets and fun have nothing to do with Fab.

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By *rushmanMan
3 weeks ago

Bristol

It's not the verifications, it's not even about effort or patience as others have mentioned, as I can tell you've already put in a great deal of effort.

It's competition, plain and simple.

For every couple and female you message...there are hundreds of unread messages sitting in their inbox.

I've seen this first hand myself with a lady that I've become good friends with after meeting her in a club. I go to her house, we have a drinks, lay on the bed watching movies. I've seen how much messages she receives and the calibre of the men messaging her, and the quality and eloquence of such messages.

It's like going beyond the event horizon of a black hole. No matter which path you take, left, right, up, down, you'll always end up at the centre.

And in the case of Fabs, no matter how much you read someone's profile and cater your messages to fit their profile, you'll always get ignored, because 6ft Tyrone with a 10inch schlong (Could be any characteristics) is in their inbox..times that by a few hundreds. You get it now? Good!

I've outlined the problem. Now here's a solution!

Stop messaging people, the response rates are extremely low and just isn't worth your time and effort for wanting bit of sex lol, unless you plan on sitting on the site for hours and hours shifting through profiles and catering your message to every profile. Even if you did get a response what are the chances of it being followed through till the end? Just not worth it.

Focus on parties with heavy play elements like greedy girl type parties, and gangbangs.

Social meetups and events are great too so keep going to them, that's where real connections are made.

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By *harAndBryCouple
3 weeks ago

Downham Market

"I dont know what im doing wrong, is it the area im in.

Im starting to think its my appearance than anything else.

The AD club in Edinburgh seems to be more about couples, impact and pain more than anything else.

Where are all my sensual ladies, and do I look too young?"

Meet verifications give people that find you attractive some peace of mind that you leave the house and will show up. It doesn't alter the fact that most people won't find you attractive, simply because most people don't find most people attractive.

The verifications have removed a barrier but not opened up endless meets.

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By *ickle_my_pickleWoman
3 weeks ago

nosy town

Clubs arnt everything either OP even though everyone (mostly couples) will tell you they are

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By *harAndBryCouple
3 weeks ago

Downham Market

"Clubs arnt everything either OP even though everyone (mostly couples) will tell you they are "

Clubs absolutely aren't everything. As a couple that looks mostly for single guys, the lack of single guys at most club events and the fact that they are essentially nightclubs now, they aren't for us.

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By *HotScotsCouple
3 weeks ago

Scotland

[Removed by poster at 13/09/26 21:37:06]

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By *HotScotsCouple
3 weeks ago

Scotland

"Clubs arnt everything either OP even though everyone (mostly couples) will tell you they are

We noticed this too, clubs can be cliquey and some couples use them as hangouts so won’t really socialise outside of them.

OP- First mistake is thinking you’re guaranteed a shag at a club.. If that’s the kinda evening you want maybe search for some greedy girl nights or dogging spots?

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By *lue NarwhalMan
3 weeks ago

Iceland, but sainsburys is closer..

Try refreshing your profile a bit; dont just make it about what you want, make it personal to you and let your character shine through it..

From experience, it doesn't matter what a guy puts in his profile, if it hasn't grabbed the reader attention in the first line, they are likely to move on very quickly..

Same with your messages; they are unsolicited cold calling; spam for want of a better word.

Make sure your spam is clickbait worthy; appeal to your target, make them want to read what cums next..

You only get to put it in if you have put in masses of effort upfront..

Take it from me, im uglier than sin, old and knackered but I still get the occasional meet..

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By *ersatilefoxMan
3 weeks ago

Notts

Clubs most definitely aren't the be all and end all, especially for single guys ( or the wanking dead as we get tarred with). They can be a very expensive lonely night out at the bar. And it's not everyones cup of tea either.

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By *enandJadeCouple
3 weeks ago

yeovil

I know you say on your profile you are ‘neurospicy’ - well so am I, but I’m going to be honest.

Your profile status acting as though it was a waste of money paying to go to a club and only talking to people seems a bit of a slap in the face to the people who then wrote you nice verifications and clearly enjoyed your company.

Also - in your profile text you wrote

‘ Mutual attraction, a good vibe and actually enjoying each other's company are enough for me. Not every conversation or meet has to lead to play’

Yet are directly contradicting that sentiment by complaining about ‘only talking’ to people.

No one is guaranteed sex from being on this site … or from getting verified. It really is surprising to me that people think they are owed it.

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By *pinningfasterWoman
3 weeks ago

Birmingham

No one likes me either. It's because I'm deeply unpleasant to talk to 🤣

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By *ack DawXXXMan
3 weeks ago

Weybridge

I guess you could ask for a refund if you don't get to bum someone?

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By *ustitutesMan
3 weeks ago

blackpool

Stop begging it. Not an attractive quality in any genre of life. That would be my advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
3 weeks ago

You cant just ask someone to verify you then think women will fall at your feet. Wrong site my friend .

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By *idnightMattMan
3 weeks ago

Llanelli

All a verification does is say to others yes this is a real person and are genuine. i've got several verifications before i even had ones where i actually played. patience and the willingness to keep putting yourself out there will help you. Use your personality over verifications, meeting and playing with others does take time and doesn't happen over night

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By *aomilatteCouple
3 weeks ago

Midlands

"Clubs arnt everything either OP even though everyone (mostly couples) will tell you they are

If you choose the right night there will be plenty of single guys there, and you may prove popular. Clubs have a dance floor and music because lots like to dance as well as have sexy fun, but in most clubs the play rooms get very busy, so they're swingers clubs rather than nightclubs.

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By *riel13Woman
3 weeks ago

Northampton

I think you are expecting too much... What percentage of the population do you think would be attracted to you? Now think smaller... And if you think you get "bang" for your buck at clubs... You are in the wrong kinda place... The women are not paid for, they are there voluntarily, so will only be fucking men they want to. You sound very entitled, and you're not

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
3 weeks ago

South East

"Clubs arnt everything either OP even though everyone (mostly couples) will tell you they are

We mainly only play at clubs during the day now because like the post you replied to said, clubs at night seem to be more about people getting d*unk, dancing and socialising rather than playing.

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By *b03Man
3 weeks ago

Exeter

I have over 25 verifications, met many couples and ladies, but people won't throw themselves at you over it.

You still have to be the right match for someone or someones as well as many other factors. And of course get your message noticed and read, if you sent one.

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By *iss KinkWoman
3 weeks ago

Up North

"I think you are expecting too much... What percentage of the population do you think would be attracted to you? Now think smaller... And if you think you get "bang" for your buck at clubs... You are in the wrong kinda place... The women are not paid for, they are there voluntarily, so will only be fucking men they want to. You sound very entitled, and you're not"

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By *enandJadeCouple
3 weeks ago

yeovil

Yesss! Exactly this. OP needs to change his attitude asap.

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By *oiluvfunMan
3 weeks ago

Penrith

Clubs only represent the swinging scene under one roof, for an evening. So just like in Fab, it’s mostly couples looking to meet other couples (in the spirit of actual swinging, or ‘wife swapping’ as it used to be called), and one or two single ladies with the choice of a dozen single guys.

The main difference with clubs though is the gender -biased pricing structure (at least Fab treats everyone as equals), and the cliques snubbing single guys on their own…

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By *estinysswingersCouple
3 weeks ago

Worsley

Verification isn’t a magic bullet.

It might help but that on its own won’t get you meets.

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By *ousteau72Man
3 weeks ago

Wombourne

A verification just means there's one less reason for someone not to bin you!

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By *essTTWoman
3 weeks ago

Birmingham

The fact that you expect pussy on a trip to a club won't help you

Play is not guaranteed in either a club setting or a private meet

Have you tried a sex worker? Maybe be better than paying £40 "to sit around and talk for 6 hours"

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