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Threesomes, singles and finding a reliable wingman/wingwoman

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago

One thing I’ve noticed on Fab is just how difficult it can be to put together a threesome, particularly when you’re a single guy or girl looking to meet two other like-minded people.

There seem to be plenty of people interested in threesomes, but actually finding the right combination of people who are comfortable with each other, have similar interests and are reliable can be surprisingly difficult.

So I wondered whether there might be mileage in creating a bit of a community here for people who specifically enjoy threesomes or are interested in exploring them.

The idea would be for guys and girls to make themselves known, get to know each other, make some friends and potentially find a reliable wingman or wingwoman to pair up with when the opportunity comes along.

Rather than simply approaching people with “do you like 3sums?”, it would be about building a network of people who know each other and are comfortable meeting up.

Would anyone else be interested in something like that? And if so, would you see yourself as more of a potential wingman, wingwoman, or someone looking for a third?

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By (user no longer on site)
7 weeks ago

I personally have no interest in being someone's wing person just to help them fulfill their fantasy.

Swinging with someone else for me can only be part of a trusted committed relationship... not a random person I have met of fab or a casual Fwb.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago


"I personally have no interest in being someone's wing person just to help them fulfill their fantasy.

Swinging with someone else for me can only be part of a trusted committed relationship... not a random person I have met of fab or a casual Fwb. "

I think that actually highlights the point: everyone has different boundaries and expectations, and the idea would simply be to find people whose approach and circumstances are compatible.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
7 weeks ago


"I personally have no interest in being someone's wing person just to help them fulfill their fantasy.

Swinging with someone else for me can only be part of a trusted committed relationship... not a random person I have met of fab or a casual Fwb.

I think that actually highlights the point: everyone has different boundaries and expectations, and the idea would simply be to find people whose approach and circumstances are compatible."

I think that's exactly why this hasn't really existed before — everyone's version of "wingman/wingwoman" means something different. For some it's purely practical (a trusted friend who helps break the ice and reads the room), for others it only works within an established relationship dynamic, and for others it's more casual. None of those are wrong, they're just different.

So maybe worth splitting it out a bit — if people fancy chipping in, it'd be interesting to hear:

1. Are you looking for a wing person to help you meet a third, someone to potentially join you as part of a threesome yourself, or both?

2. Would you only consider this with someone you already know and trust, or are you open to meeting people through a thread like this first and building that trust over time?

3. Have you had a threesome (or attempted to arrange one) before — what worked, and what didn't?

No pressure to answer all three, even one gives a sense of what people are actually looking for. Might help this thread turn into something genuinely useful rather than just "anyone interested?"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
5 weeks ago

Any life in this thread ?

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By *rYoniMan
5 weeks ago

Essex ++


"Any life in this thread ?"

Well only one person commented and they've now left the site so maybe not

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
5 weeks ago

😩🤞

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
5 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

I know a male that has a female friend who attends clubs pretending to be a couple so he can get past the single man fee and because of how attractive she is she essentially gets people to come over but when she explains that she doesn’t play and is here purely for her friend that’s where sometimes he then gets rejected. Other times it’s been successful so who knows ?

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By *hunkymonkey81Man
5 weeks ago

Sheffield

Sounds like a good plan

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By *oiluvfunMan
5 weeks ago

Penrith


"I know a male that has a female friend who attends clubs pretending to be a couple so he can get past the single man fee and because of how attractive she is she essentially gets people to come over but when she explains that she doesn’t play and is here purely for her friend that’s where sometimes he then gets rejected. Other times it’s been successful so who knows ? "

I’ve done 5 visits to clubs with a female play partner, and it’s even more demoralising when I go by myself, seeing how people approach me as part of a couple, but then it’s the Moses parting the waves effect when I’m just another single guy. I’m the same person either way……🫣

This is why I wouldn’t venture to another club by myself again, so to answer the OP; yes, a wingwoman would be great, but it’s nothing to do with financial benefits 👍

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
5 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)


"I know a male that has a female friend who attends clubs pretending to be a couple so he can get past the single man fee and because of how attractive she is she essentially gets people to come over but when she explains that she doesn’t play and is here purely for her friend that’s where sometimes he then gets rejected. Other times it’s been successful so who knows ?

I’ve done 5 visits to clubs with a female play partner, and it’s even more demoralising when I go by myself, seeing how people approach me as part of a couple, but then it’s the Moses parting the waves effect when I’m just another single guy. I’m the same person either way……🫣

This is why I wouldn’t venture to another club by myself again, so to answer the OP; yes, a wingwoman would be great, but it’s nothing to do with financial benefits 👍"

You maybe the same top dollar bloke when you there on your own but if couples are only looking for couples then it doesn’t matter if you are Brad Pitt a single man doesn’t fit their dynamic just like it doesn’t fit ours. If when you were there as part of a couple you got attention it was because you did indeed fit their dynamic.

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By *oiluvfunMan
5 weeks ago

Penrith


"I know a male that has a female friend who attends clubs pretending to be a couple so he can get past the single man fee and because of how attractive she is she essentially gets people to come over but when she explains that she doesn’t play and is here purely for her friend that’s where sometimes he then gets rejected. Other times it’s been successful so who knows ?

I’ve done 5 visits to clubs with a female play partner, and it’s even more demoralising when I go by myself, seeing how people approach me as part of a couple, but then it’s the Moses parting the waves effect when I’m just another single guy. I’m the same person either way……🫣

This is why I wouldn’t venture to another club by myself again, so to answer the OP; yes, a wingwoman would be great, but it’s nothing to do with financial benefits 👍

You maybe the same top dollar bloke when you there on your own but if couples are only looking for couples then it doesn’t matter if you are Brad Pitt a single man doesn’t fit their dynamic just like it doesn’t fit ours. If when you were there as part of a couple you got attention it was because you did indeed fit their dynamic. "

Yep; 21 visits as a single guy spread across 12 venues around the country, do confirm clubs are mostly filled with couples looking for couples only 👍

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
5 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)


"I know a male that has a female friend who attends clubs pretending to be a couple so he can get past the single man fee and because of how attractive she is she essentially gets people to come over but when she explains that she doesn’t play and is here purely for her friend that’s where sometimes he then gets rejected. Other times it’s been successful so who knows ?

I’ve done 5 visits to clubs with a female play partner, and it’s even more demoralising when I go by myself, seeing how people approach me as part of a couple, but then it’s the Moses parting the waves effect when I’m just another single guy. I’m the same person either way……🫣

This is why I wouldn’t venture to another club by myself again, so to answer the OP; yes, a wingwoman would be great, but it’s nothing to do with financial benefits 👍

You maybe the same top dollar bloke when you there on your own but if couples are only looking for couples then it doesn’t matter if you are Brad Pitt a single man doesn’t fit their dynamic just like it doesn’t fit ours. If when you were there as part of a couple you got attention it was because you did indeed fit their dynamic.

Yep; 21 visits as a single guy spread across 12 venues around the country, do confirm clubs are mostly filled with couples looking for couples only 👍"

That must suck for single men but it is what it is. Swinging was initially designed with couples literally swapping their partners together, for us single men have nothing to offer us so we don’t want them but it doesn’t mean you have got anything to offer any one else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
5 weeks ago


"I know a male that has a female friend who attends clubs pretending to be a couple so he can get past the single man fee and because of how attractive she is she essentially gets people to come over but when she explains that she doesn’t play and is here purely for her friend that’s where sometimes he then gets rejected. Other times it’s been successful so who knows ?

I’ve done 5 visits to clubs with a female play partner, and it’s even more demoralising when I go by myself, seeing how people approach me as part of a couple, but then it’s the Moses parting the waves effect when I’m just another single guy. I’m the same person either way……🫣

This is why I wouldn’t venture to another club by myself again, so to answer the OP; yes, a wingwoman would be great, but it’s nothing to do with financial benefits 👍

You maybe the same top dollar bloke when you there on your own but if couples are only looking for couples then it doesn’t matter if you are Brad Pitt a single man doesn’t fit their dynamic just like it doesn’t fit ours. If when you were there as part of a couple you got attention it was because you did indeed fit their dynamic.

Yep; 21 visits as a single guy spread across 12 venues around the country, do confirm clubs are mostly filled with couples looking for couples only 👍

That must suck for single men but it is what it is. Swinging was initially designed with couples literally swapping their partners together, for us single men have nothing to offer us so we don’t want them but it doesn’t mean you have got anything to offer any one else. "

Do guys who come as a pair MM ever offer anything to MF couples?

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
5 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)


"I know a male that has a female friend who attends clubs pretending to be a couple so he can get past the single man fee and because of how attractive she is she essentially gets people to come over but when she explains that she doesn’t play and is here purely for her friend that’s where sometimes he then gets rejected. Other times it’s been successful so who knows ?

I’ve done 5 visits to clubs with a female play partner, and it’s even more demoralising when I go by myself, seeing how people approach me as part of a couple, but then it’s the Moses parting the waves effect when I’m just another single guy. I’m the same person either way……🫣

This is why I wouldn’t venture to another club by myself again, so to answer the OP; yes, a wingwoman would be great, but it’s nothing to do with financial benefits 👍

You maybe the same top dollar bloke when you there on your own but if couples are only looking for couples then it doesn’t matter if you are Brad Pitt a single man doesn’t fit their dynamic just like it doesn’t fit ours. If when you were there as part of a couple you got attention it was because you did indeed fit their dynamic.

Yep; 21 visits as a single guy spread across 12 venues around the country, do confirm clubs are mostly filled with couples looking for couples only 👍

That must suck for single men but it is what it is. Swinging was initially designed with couples literally swapping their partners together, for us single men have nothing to offer us so we don’t want them but it doesn’t mean you have got anything to offer any one else.

Do guys who come as a pair MM ever offer anything to MF couples?"

For us absolutely not the whole point of swapping for us is I play with someone’s man and my man plays with someone’s woman. Given my man is straight and not fab straight but actually straight a gay or bi male couple wouldn’t be giving him anything the same as a single man doesn’t. It might however work for a couple where the man is bi.

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple
5 weeks ago

North Somerset

We find threesomes easy to source. But then we're a couple.

When I was on here for many years as a single guy I had no problem finding threesomes. Because I approached couples looking for a third, rather than hoping to find two interested singles which will always be logistically trickier.

That said I also had a few FWB's who had their own FWB's so managed that too. And of course going to clubs provided a great way to meet other singles for group fun.

The avenues are out there. You just have to navigate the right ones rather than putting all your eggs in one basket and hoping that setting up a profile and asking for stuff will make it happen. 🤷‍♂️

Obi

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By *lossomTreeWoman
5 weeks ago

Ipswich

It's definitely a couples + couples lifestyle. Us singles hover on the edges awkwardly occasionally getting some action.

Private parties, the odd club visit I've been left feeling like a spare part more than once.

Last time I went to a club (ladies/couples night), all the couples there were either not playing, or playing with their other half.

Then there was a party where all the couples started pairing off literally around me, I made a graceful exit at that point since no one was interested or responding to my signals 😎

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
4 weeks ago


"It's definitely a couples + couples lifestyle. Us singles hover on the edges awkwardly occasionally getting some action.

Private parties, the odd club visit I've been left feeling like a spare part more than once.

Last time I went to a club (ladies/couples night), all the couples there were either not playing, or playing with their other half.

Then there was a party where all the couples started pairing off literally around me, I made a graceful exit at that point since no one was interested or responding to my signals 😎

"

Yeah, I can see how that would get frustrating. It does sound like the couples naturally gravitate towards each other, which probably makes being single at those events a bit of an awkward position to be in.

I suppose the ideal situation would be finding people who are genuinely interested in playing with singles rather than just tolerating them being there.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
3 weeks ago

Any one out there looking for some friends that can play in 3 sums ?

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