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I hope you achieve your goal of making friends | |||
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"We have been blocked by multiple people of all genders. Some block because you're nearby, some they've looked at your profile and aren't interested, there are all sorts reasons and most of them aren't anything to do with you personally and everything to do with how they want to use the site. It's really helpful, if you can, to concentrate on profiles that haven't blocked you
I hope you achieve your goal of making friends "I guess I'm a very paranoid person and I've received a lot of vile abuse about my perceived personality so I worry about people bitching and trying to warn others to avoid me as this has happened in the past. Knowing some of these people attend the socials closest to me is another reason as when I started using the forums on this account I was hoping to push myself to go to one ( I don't socialise enough.) Perhapa you're right and it isn't based on perceived personality; I'm just going on previous experience. Thanks for the insight! | |||
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"I've posted about this topic before and I was told it wasn't unusual to be randomly blocked by other forum users you've never interacted with, but is this really the case? I'm nosey and love reading profiles and learning a little about others, but on two or three occasions I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked. I very rarely get messaged by women so it's nothing to do with being messaged and not receiving a response. I'm never unpleasant in the forums so I don't understand why someone would go out of their way to block me or others who aren't unpleasant. I know people will say that it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, but I'm really keen find women to be friends with on Fab ( just socially) and the more this happens the more paranoid I am that I'm not welcome here. A lot of forumites attend the socials and I thought they would be an inclusive bunch, but it seems very cliquey, particularly with women. I feel like I'll never be able to attend socials because nobody will want me there. Has any other woman had an issue with multiple people from the forums blocking you? I really don't see the point as I very rarely messaged first and am unlikely to hassle anyone. I'm just fed up of feeling unwelcome by so many and it seems to be women more than men ( although it's happened with men.) One thing I would say is that people need to be more tolerant of neurodivergence, including those that are neurodivergent themselves. We all struggle with it in different ways. I'm very honest and an overthinker as you can tell by this post. I'm genuinely curious and this isn't a post for sympathy or compliments, I just want to know if I'm the only one struggling with the same sex on here. Polite responses appreciated. "I suffer from blockages myself been here that long I just accept it and move on. | |||
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"I know a few people that use it as a filter. I’ve checked this profile, I’m not interested, block. Personally that just shows that the site is very, very overdue for some big changes. I’ve been here well over a decade and hardly anything has changed. Others will block because they just don’t like the look, feel threatened, or you’re too close to them personally speaking. It is always annoying when you search for somebody and think they look good then you get “blocked”, because it makes you think you e done something. Don’t worry, it happens sadly. Like k said though it wouldn’t hurt for some new changes to the site." How would changes to the site affect people blocking those theyre are not interested in? | |||
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"As I said, some people use it as a filter so that they don’t keep clicking on the same profile and not knowing if they were interested. A simple change, such as a banner that displayed on a profile you have no interest in, is an easy UI adaption and would stop the need to block people just for this purpose." What difference would that make? If someone's not interested they're not interested, why would the site need to put a banner up when people can just block? And who's to say that even if the site put a banner up that people still wouldn't use the block function? If I'm not interested in someone I block so I don't have to see anything to with them, would be actually pointless to have a banner on their page to say I'm not interested yet still be able to see them on updates | |||
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"Because not interested, notes, things that are are useful. You personally may not want to see the person. But that may not mean others share the same viewpoint. It was simply a suggestion, of which there are many. The site is long overdue an update in many areas." Others that use the block function do share the same viewpoint or they wouldn't block people..... | |||
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"tbh op all you seem to do is moan" Nah she don't mate, she's simply asking a question. Find something better to do ay | |||
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that’s meant as a compliment not as a creepy comment so I hope it’s taken as intended | |||
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"tbh op all you seem to do is moan Nah she don't mate, she's simply asking a question. Find something better to do ay" He's not referring to this topic in particular | |||
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"I block people on the forums who post offensive comments or comments that I dont align with, regaedless of wherher ive personally interacted with them or not, this way its easier for me to make sure that I don't accidently interact with them in the future." This. I do the same thing. Its a safety thing. People can be terrible so it's just an early level of screening just in case. | |||
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"I've posted about this topic before and I was told it wasn't unusual to be randomly blocked by other forum users you've never interacted with, but is this really the case? I'm nosey and love reading profiles and learning a little about others, but on two or three occasions I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked. I very rarely get messaged by women so it's nothing to do with being messaged and not receiving a response. I'm never unpleasant in the forums so I don't understand why someone would go out of their way to block me or others who aren't unpleasant. I know people will say that it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, but I'm really keen find women to be friends with on Fab ( just socially) and the more this happens the more paranoid I am that I'm not welcome here. A lot of forumites attend the socials and I thought they would be an inclusive bunch, but it seems very cliquey, particularly with women. I feel like I'll never be able to attend socials because nobody will want me there. Has any other woman had an issue with multiple people from the forums blocking you? I really don't see the point as I very rarely messaged first and am unlikely to hassle anyone. I'm just fed up of feeling unwelcome by so many and it seems to be women more than men ( although it's happened with men.) One thing I would say is that people need to be more tolerant of neurodivergence, including those that are neurodivergent themselves. We all struggle with it in different ways. I'm very honest and an overthinker as you can tell by this post. I'm genuinely curious and this isn't a post for sympathy or compliments, I just want to know if I'm the only one struggling with the same sex on here. Polite responses appreciated. "Hi. I tried to private message this but your filter wouldn't allow it. I want to discuss this and hope posting publicly is okay. A lot of what you describe is reminiscent of rejection sensitivity dysphoria. And whilst it's not scientifically proven, I'm yet to find something in it that isn't true. It's estimated that ND people suffer tens of thousands more criticisms as a child than NT people. We are biologically wired to look for threats and patterns. It takes a lot (a LOT) for some to come forward. The fear of judgement and rejection is such that even by sharing this question, as you have, you have faced it. I have found over the years that the spiral of overthinking is understood by others who do it. I have spoken to people who have clarified and clarified, and apologised and apologised, when none was required. And i am just as guilty as anyone of doing the same. I think that what you'll find (I'm making an assumption that you haven't already), is when people get to know you they are by default forgiving of the traits that you feel you need forgiveness for, but don't actually need to bw forgiven for at all. People block people all the time. I must have a million accounts blocked. Most of them because logically I'll never meet them, or I'm not what they're looking for etc. I'm not judging them. It's just logistics. Looking at it like that, I'm fine being blocked too | |||
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"I've posted about this topic before and I was told it wasn't unusual to be randomly blocked by other forum users you've never interacted with, but is this really the case? I'm nosey and love reading profiles and learning a little about others, but on two or three occasions I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked. I very rarely get messaged by women so it's nothing to do with being messaged and not receiving a response. I'm never unpleasant in the forums so I don't understand why someone would go out of their way to block me or others who aren't unpleasant. I know people will say that it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, but I'm really keen find women to be friends with on Fab ( just socially) and the more this happens the more paranoid I am that I'm not welcome here. A lot of forumites attend the socials and I thought they would be an inclusive bunch, but it seems very cliquey, particularly with women. I feel like I'll never be able to attend socials because nobody will want me there. Has any other woman had an issue with multiple people from the forums blocking you? I really don't see the point as I very rarely messaged first and am unlikely to hassle anyone. I'm just fed up of feeling unwelcome by so many and it seems to be women more than men ( although it's happened with men.) One thing I would say is that people need to be more tolerant of neurodivergence, including those that are neurodivergent themselves. We all struggle with it in different ways. I'm very honest and an overthinker as you can tell by this post. I'm genuinely curious and this isn't a post for sympathy or compliments, I just want to know if I'm the only one struggling with the same sex on here. Polite responses appreciated.
Hi. I tried to private message this but your filter wouldn't allow it. I want to discuss this and hope posting publicly is okay.
A lot of what you describe is reminiscent of rejection sensitivity dysphoria. And whilst it's not scientifically proven, I'm yet to find something in it that isn't true.
It's estimated that ND people suffer tens of thousands more criticisms as a child than NT people. We are biologically wired to look for threats and patterns.
It takes a lot (a LOT) for some to come forward. The fear of judgement and rejection is such that even by sharing this question, as you have, you have faced it.
I have found over the years that the spiral of overthinking is understood by others who do it. I have spoken to people who have clarified and clarified, and apologised and apologised, when none was required. And i am just as guilty as anyone of doing the same.
I think that what you'll find (I'm making an assumption that you haven't already), is when people get to know you they are by default forgiving of the traits that you feel you need forgiveness for, but don't actually need to bw forgiven for at all.
People block people all the time. I must have a million accounts blocked. Most of them because logically I'll never meet them, or I'm not what they're looking for etc. I'm not judging them. It's just logistics.
Looking at it like that, I'm fine being blocked too "Why would this need to be posted privately? | |||
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"I've posted about this topic before and I was told it wasn't unusual to be randomly blocked by other forum users you've never interacted with, but is this really the case? I'm nosey and love reading profiles and learning a little about others, but on two or three occasions I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked. I very rarely get messaged by women so it's nothing to do with being messaged and not receiving a response. I'm never unpleasant in the forums so I don't understand why someone would go out of their way to block me or others who aren't unpleasant. I know people will say that it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, but I'm really keen find women to be friends with on Fab ( just socially) and the more this happens the more paranoid I am that I'm not welcome here. A lot of forumites attend the socials and I thought they would be an inclusive bunch, but it seems very cliquey, particularly with women. I feel like I'll never be able to attend socials because nobody will want me there. Has any other woman had an issue with multiple people from the forums blocking you? I really don't see the point as I very rarely messaged first and am unlikely to hassle anyone. I'm just fed up of feeling unwelcome by so many and it seems to be women more than men ( although it's happened with men.) One thing I would say is that people need to be more tolerant of neurodivergence, including those that are neurodivergent themselves. We all struggle with it in different ways. I'm very honest and an overthinker as you can tell by this post. I'm genuinely curious and this isn't a post for sympathy or compliments, I just want to know if I'm the only one struggling with the same sex on here. Polite responses appreciated. "It may be your profile it’s very how do you say direct it could be softer ? I don’t drive , I won’t meet anyone on here unless very handsome, muscular ect ect . I get everyone has their type and that’s fine but your profile sounds a bit entitled | |||
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"I've posted about this topic before and I was told it wasn't unusual to be randomly blocked by other forum users you've never interacted with, but is this really the case? I'm nosey and love reading profiles and learning a little about others, but on two or three occasions I've clicked on profiles to find I've been blocked. I very rarely get messaged by women so it's nothing to do with being messaged and not receiving a response. I'm never unpleasant in the forums so I don't understand why someone would go out of their way to block me or others who aren't unpleasant. I know people will say that it shouldn't bother me what strangers think, but I'm really keen find women to be friends with on Fab ( just socially) and the more this happens the more paranoid I am that I'm not welcome here. A lot of forumites attend the socials and I thought they would be an inclusive bunch, but it seems very cliquey, particularly with women. I feel like I'll never be able to attend socials because nobody will want me there. Has any other woman had an issue with multiple people from the forums blocking you? I really don't see the point as I very rarely messaged first and am unlikely to hassle anyone. I'm just fed up of feeling unwelcome by so many and it seems to be women more than men ( although it's happened with men.) One thing I would say is that people need to be more tolerant of neurodivergence, including those that are neurodivergent themselves. We all struggle with it in different ways. I'm very honest and an overthinker as you can tell by this post. I'm genuinely curious and this isn't a post for sympathy or compliments, I just want to know if I'm the only one struggling with the same sex on here. Polite responses appreciated. "I just had a read!! love your profile so it's likely it's the directness and self assured personality that the weak aren't used to.. keep being direct and confident it scatters the nons away.... | |||
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"I've blocked people from the forums, only if they've made offensive comments or just not my type of person. I do find that some people in the forum are cliquey but that's just people for you. I wouldn't worry too much, you'll find a few friends that you can do things with. It took me a while but I have a couple of female friends that I really like going to clubs with. They don't come into the forums though. " Forum is a funny place and whilst entertaining and useful at times I'm not sure it is that representative of the broader Fab/swinging world. I've met hundreds of people over the years as single and couple and maybe 10 max ever even went on Forum never mind post regularly. | |||
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