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"Me and the wife have been to a club a handful of times - and its not been great! There seems to be groups of people that seem to know each other well and come across as quite clicky (although that might just be our perception!) We end up not really talking to anyone we might actually like to play with and to be honest its put us off for quite a long time. But we are trying again...! So does anyone have any advice on how we could approach people - especially approaching a group? We are thinking of giving each other dares lol! Anyway any advice welcome! Ps if anyone wants to come with us we are going on the 5th Aug to Cupids x " If the club has a hot tub get naked and get in it. We find conversations are so much easier away from the music/dance floor areas and people seem more relaxed in the hot tub so easier to strike up a chat. | |||
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"If the club has a hot tub get naked and get in it. We find conversations are so much easier away from the music/dance floor areas and people seem more relaxed in the hot tub so easier to strike up a chat." Absolutely second this. The few times we've managed to hook up with a single guy at a club, it's been in the hottub. Always better if some play is allowed in the tub, though. | |||
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"Me and the wife have been to a club a handful of times - and its not been great! There seems to be groups of people that seem to know each other well and come across as quite clicky (although that might just be our perception!) We end up not really talking to anyone we might actually like to play with and to be honest its put us off for quite a long time. But we are trying again...! So does anyone have any advice on how we could approach people - especially approaching a group? We are thinking of giving each other dares lol! Anyway any advice welcome! Ps if anyone wants to come with us we are going on the 5th Aug to Cupids x " Go to a spa club during the day, so much better | |||
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" There seems to be groups of people that seem to know each other well and come across as quite clicky (although that might just be our perception!) " I've experienced this and heard others say similar, but I think the perception is far greater than the reality in many cases. Yes, of course there will be some groups who are only interested in their own little gang, but in lots of cases I think it's just grouos of people who know each other who are chatting - because why wouldn't they? And in our own heads we build it up to mean more than it does (or to justify to ourselves not approaching them). | |||
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"Me and the wife have been to a club a handful of times - and its not been great! There seems to be groups of people that seem to know each other well and come across as quite clicky (although that might just be our perception!) We end up not really talking to anyone we might actually like to play with and to be honest its put us off for quite a long time. But we are trying again...! So does anyone have any advice on how we could approach people - especially approaching a group? We are thinking of giving each other dares lol! Anyway any advice welcome! Ps if anyone wants to come with us we are going on the 5th Aug to Cupids x " It really depends on what you are looking for. If you are attracted to couple/single man or single woman in particular. Stand or sit next to them and catch their eyes and smile. Give them a compliment ask if you would like to buy them a drink. As a single woman I can approach just about anyone and bring straight takes the pressure off approaching other women because I'm usually just complimenting their outfits or tattoos or piercings or hair. I also have just a general chat with men. I will say this get to the club early because then you can see how the groups form. Most clubs have regulars who are the people you see in groups. Someone like me, you will see, approaches multiple groups because I've been doing this for nearly 4 years, so I try to say hello to everyone...before I get distracted...with the sex, drink, dungeon, rope, jacuzzi and pool. Lol! | |||
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"Me and the wife have been to a club a handful of times - and its not been great! There seems to be groups of people that seem to know each other well and come across as quite clicky (although that might just be our perception!) We end up not really talking to anyone we might actually like to play with and to be honest its put us off for quite a long time. But we are trying again...! So does anyone have any advice on how we could approach people - especially approaching a group? We are thinking of giving each other dares lol! Anyway any advice welcome! Ps if anyone wants to come with us we are going on the 5th Aug to Cupids x " We were at a DC event for the first time and lots of couples came with a circle of friends and other had met previously. They came from the North West to the South East. We found that day we chatted in the hot tub after many had played. They were more relaxed and very friendly. We got lots of verifications and stayed in touch. The next visit to the DC event was amazing as we kept in touch, it was more of a slow burn than spontaneous connections. We now have a new circle of friends at Liberty Elite. We also go to OP4F. We have been on couples nights and nights that allow single men. The vibe was different but we have made friends at the bar and enjoyed play with single guys. Each club is different and some nights we just call it a day. We are always looking to open up our circle when we see newbies who would like a chat xx S&B | |||
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"I can empathize with you as not once has anyone approached us. It used to make me feel very insecure, and wonder what vibe do we give off that repels people?! Yesterday evening we approached a friendly looking couple to chat. No expectations, just a determination to approach someone, introduce ourselves and ask them how their evening was going (a starter for 1pt 😁) We had a great little chat, picked up on the lack of a sexual vibe from them and not wanting to dominate their time we left them to enjoy their evening. It was their first club visit so I felt a bit rubbish for them later as we passed them leaving the club and they said no one else had spoken to them all night. But, (cliques aside) I now think lots of people are quite shy, and not confident enough to literally walk up to a stranger and start talking. However, starting a conversation while waiting at the bar or in the jacuzzi, or by the lockers etc feels much more natural for us. It would just be nice though if someone looked at us and thought "I'd like to talk to them." " We agree with the locker room chat too… so many times we have swapped details in the locker room when we are leaving, the vibe has been great. S&B ❤️ | |||
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"I'm very lucky that the Mrs is a social butterfly she will walk up and talk to anyone. She's the one who sounds couples out to find out what they're looking for and if we're compatable. " Great if one of you is like that. Great to meet someone like that, as in "real" life, those people make social situations so much easier. As a single man going to clubs, I think being sociable (rather than stalking) is much more preferable and effective. It's just being that kind of person that can approach others easily and naturally. Speaking for myself, I don't have the bonus of being Gods gift or very blessed in certain departments, so I have to rely on personality! I'm not in a position to do this, but being regular visitors over time, and becoming familiar faces (if not bodies) must also help, as in any social situation! | |||
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"I'm very lucky that the Mrs is a social butterfly she will walk up and talk to anyone. She's the one who sounds couples out to find out what they're looking for and if we're compatable. Great if one of you is like that. Great to meet someone like that, as in "real" life, those people make social situations so much easier. As a single man going to clubs, I think being sociable (rather than stalking) is much more preferable and effective. It's just being that kind of person that can approach others easily and naturally. Speaking for myself, I don't have the bonus of being Gods gift or very blessed in certain departments, so I have to rely on personality! I'm not in a position to do this, but being regular visitors over time, and becoming familiar faces (if not bodies) must also help, as in any social situation!" You definately have it harder, I think a woman approaching is seen as less 'threatening' | |||
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"Everytime we have been to a club something’s happened but we don’t expect it and treat it more of a night out together where it’s acceptable for my partner to have his hands down my bra on the dance floor and for me to not be wearing very much, anything else is a bonus. I the female approach lots of people even if it’s just to compliment them or to have banter so that’s worked in our favour for finding play mates. Clubs can be difficult for sure but we just don’t take our selves too seriously and if we play we play This is same as us xx | |||
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"I think what I will say has been covered by the fantastic advise already mentioned in this thread. But the advice I got from the girl who was leading me round op4f on my first time was to get talking to People no matter. And it doesn't have to be about sex. I made loads of friends and aquatences from clubs and that makes the next visit easier because you know some body. I remember in OP4F having a conversation about dubstep with the owner. He ranted about how he hated the genre another time the ice was broken with a couple by talking about Cornwall. I have even heard how a women managed to find a builder for her house from speaking to someone from a club. I would not say deliberately try and inject yourself in a conversation but you know if your standing next to someone and they are looking at you vice versa. "You alright mate, how's it going?" P.s. JD1981 fantastic profile picture." This 100%, if you are polite and sociable people will remember you the next time you visit the club and it will be easier to break the ice with people. | |||
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"Absolutely nothing to offer in the way of help, just empathy in that we have had exactly the same experiences. Always find clubs to loud, too much emphasis on fancy dress, quite cliquey and as we've not once been approached by another couple, it's made us totally unconfident to make the first move. Clubs just aren't for everyone, unfortunately." This is my experience too. Not quite sure why every other night needs to be fancy dress like it's Halloween every month .. and yes they are very Cliquey I found in both my visits to the closest ones. Not pulling out going again but it will be with a gf as single guys get completely ripped off with the entry fees. The pubs are better for single guys if your half decent looking anyway. | |||
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"Make sure you sit or stand somewhere that’s accessible to others. Don’t sit down on a low settee, as it’s make approaching you difficult. " Even if you are offering blow jobs to shorties? | |||
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