FabSwingers.com forum: How to start

By *oughXCouple89 OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Wells (Somerset)

Hi everyone!

We're a long-married couple, but complete beginners when it comes to swinging. To be honest, we've hit a bit of a dead end because we simply don't know where or how to start.

At first, we thought about trying an MMF threesome, but more recently we've been talking about meeting another couple too. The problem is that we know almost nothing about this world, and we're feeling more nervous than we'd like to admit.

We'd really appreciate any advice you can offer. Where do people usually meet? What's the best environment for first social meets? What do you normally talk about during that first meeting? Should you already discuss the possibility of playing together, fantasies, kinks, and boundaries, or is that something to leave until later?

For those of you with more experience, what do you pay the most attention to when deciding whether you're compatible with another person or couple? What topics are absolutely worth discussing beforehand, and how would you recommend organising everything so both sides feel comfortable?

Thanks in advance for any advice you can share!

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By *untime40Man
4 weeks ago

car park

"Hi everyone!

We're a long-married couple, but complete beginners when it comes to swinging. To be honest, we've hit a bit of a dead end because we simply don't know where or how to start.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can share!"

Hi welcome to the world of swinging

First you inbox has probably got 1000s messages already ,

A lot of people on here are dreaming and fake

Check out their verifications

Look out for blank profiles

You could start by clubs or nudist spas

Second don’t be forced in to anything your not comfortable with

Lastly if you get any of abuse on here ( there are the odd twats on here) report them

Happy fabbing you will love it x

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By *urious_male1982Man
4 weeks ago

aylesbury

Not had loads of experience with this but usually just meet for a coffee or a walk in the park. It often starts as polite small talk but if it goes well we often start talking about what we like and why we like it. It’s quite liberating actually talking openly with other people about it instead of keeping it a secret

Don’t do what we did once, met a couple at a hotel and had drinks and dinner together. Got steadily more pissed and did it realise how loud we were discussing what we liked and why we liked swinging

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

It's nerve wracking isn't it.

What is say is discuss things between yourself and get boundaries in place.

People meet in a variety of places, their home, the other persons home, an hotel or a club.

We met for socials in a bar, pub or coffee shop. We didn't talk to obviously about sex stuff because we didn't want to embarrass other people. It was more to establish if we got along and were attracted to each other. The other stuff could be sorted via message or if you can go somewhere more private but boundaries are best established as soon as you agree to meet for sex.

You'll just know if you're compatible or not, you don't need a tick list. We always said if one of us said no we both did.

The topics worth discussing are boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

I think organising for everyone's comfort really depends on the people involved.

Two things I can't emphasise enough are

Never take one for the team

Anyone can say no at any point and everyone stops.

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By *urreyNotSoNewbiesCouple
4 weeks ago

Surrey

Check the forums for organised socials. Not sure about where you are but near us there are lots of pubs and clubs socials - you can chat to like minded people with no pressure and see if you click.

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By *ympho6969Woman
4 weeks ago

glasgow

Id suggest getting yourself to a club. Just to get to know people, chat to others, and get a feel. You can always watch too and get an idea of things you may like

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By *avid BlackhardtMan
4 weeks ago

Walsall

I would say go to a social meet and see that we are normal people and nothing to be scared or worried about. No pressure to play and who knows you may enjoy yourselves too.

A club visit would be a good step but this is a huge step for the less confident.

Tiny steps to begin with.

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By *wingshot321.Couple
4 weeks ago

Nearby

We would say let your guard down a bit, we have dozens of offers from men and have previously asked two to join us, the one who had many veris was charming, very good looking and was near, didn't turn up, the one with fewer veris and was further away but said was willing to travel, turned up ontime was really funny and he gave us an amazing first mmf

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By *WB85Man
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

My advice is to make your initial steps on a club.

Go to a newbie or couples night where the approach is much more gentle and relaxed.

When we were new....clubs were all about just being with each other and seeing others.

Its best to have a slow approach to swinging than rushing in and having regrets.

Good luck to you both.

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By *aandLoCouple
4 weeks ago

Southampton

[Removed by poster at 15/07/26 10:18:55]

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By *e-funcoupleCouple
4 weeks ago

Middlesbrough

Communication and boundaries.

Talk about everything you want to do and be honest with each other and then set boundaries for a meet and didn’t alter those boundaries ‘in the moment’

Discuss the meet and then see if you want to change the boundaries with agreement of you both but talk talk and talk some more so you both know what you do and don’t want to happen in a meet.

Then, enjoy yourselves and see where the journey takes you.

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By *WANDTGCouple
4 weeks ago

Borough of Greenwich

I personally don't agree with a club as a first introduction, they can be rather clicky and can seem daunting. Too much too soon.

A social drink, whether coffee or a pint as an initial meet is what we've done, just stipulate the boundaries, if it's only to meet and not play for instance. Also arrange the social meet around something you might have planned afterwards. That way if a no show you can still go shopping, a meal out or cinema for example.

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By *aandLoCouple
4 weeks ago

Southampton

"I personally don't agree with a club as a first introduction, they can be rather clicky and can seem daunting. Too much too soon.

I'm inclined to agree that clubs are clicky. But that is the case whether it's your first visit or 20th.

We can honestly say we've never been approached by strangers in a club. We've made connections beforehand, or ended up next to people in a couples room so conversation has happened naturally.

Both at clubs and organised socials you have to be brave, approach people and get chatting. It is an insignificant number of people who don't want to chat with a friendly couple - and those people are generally arrogant arseholes so it's no loss, lol.

OP, once you and your partner have had a frank conversation about what you're hoping to explore, and what are firm boundaries for each of you, an organised group social might be a good place to start.

We've always found people are happy to share their experiences and advice. It can give you a better perspective of the scene and it's possibilities. And there is no physical expectation. Just approach it as a fun night out where you all enjoy a good chat about sex, travel, hobbies, and all manner of things.

Don't rush into a swaps, meets, or anything in fact. Take your time and keep talking to each other about how you feel all the time - neither of you should be afraid to say what you're thinking or feeling. Your relationship is more important than shagging strangers. 😍

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By *ixenandhoundCouple
4 weeks ago

Plymouth, South west

I would suggest attending a social, get to meet like minded people, see what you both like/dont like and if its in a club there's always the option of taking it further if there's people tou click with

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By *otPoshorBecksCouple
4 weeks ago

London

Your profile is very detailed and clear about who you are and what you’re looking for. Like others have said attend socials to meet like minded people that are looking for the same as you. There might also be air B&B parties you may feel comfortable at as people want the same as you.

Clubs and events tend to be very strict with rules to protect their licence. They are good as far as safety is concerned as many ask for ID and people are better behaved when they have handed over their ID.

Good luck on your journey and we hope you have some fun exploring xx

S&B xx

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By *miester 83Man
4 weeks ago

Taunton

I have been on here for while and no luck. Lots people looking at my profile and fabs on my pics.

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By *uriouscouple2000Couple
3 weeks ago

NOTTINGHAM

Hi we are also quite new, only having our first experience last week. We went to a club which honestly I was still nervous of, I'm not great at socialising but my wife is. The advantage I found is that you know who you're talking to and can gage the connection better than you can over messaging.

Hope it helps

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