FabSwingers.com forum: What's the one thing nobody tells you before entering the lifestyle?

By *eductive Adventures OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Whitley Bay

Hi everyone!

We actually joined this site a little while ago (exciting times) but had to press pause while caring for elderly parents.

Now that chapter has passed, we're finally able to focus on ourselves again.

We're excited to start exploring fantasies we've shared for years and to meet genuine, like-minded people along the way.

As we've been reading profiles and browsing the forums, it got us wondering...

What surprised you most once you entered the lifestyle?

Was the reality different from what you expected?

Did it strengthen your relationship?

Was there anything you wish you'd known before you took that first step?

If you could give one piece of advice to a genuinely excited newbie couple (we're not completely newbie individually, just new to exploring this together), what would it be?

We're really looking forward to hearing your stories, advice and experiences.

Hopefully your replies will help us get started on this exciting journey.

We honestly can't wait! And who knows... perhaps (we definitely will) we'll meet some of you along the way too. 😊

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By *pongeFab-SwingPantsCouple
5 weeks ago

Upside down Pineapple under the sea

Best bit of advice I could give would be to talk through your boundaries and have an idea of what you hope to experience and gain from being in the lifestyle. Always best to discuss beforehand what you're both wanting and happy to do as it can be daunting seeing your partner being pleasured by someone else at first. Also remember it's supposed to be fun at the end of the day so make sure you're both enjoying it.

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By *eductive Adventures OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Whitley Bay

Thanks for taking the time to reply. 😊

It's really reassuring to hear that, because that's exactly where our heads have been from the very beginning. We've probably spent more time talking about boundaries, expectations and "what if" scenarios than anything else.

Those conversations have actually brought us even closer together, as they've required complete honesty and trust. We both know our boundaries may naturally evolve with experience, but only if we're both comfortable and genuinely enthusiastic.

We also love what you said about remembering it's supposed to be fun.

That is soooo important and something we'll definitely keep reminding ourselves of.

Thanks again for the advice. We really appreciate it A&N x

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By *pongeFab-SwingPantsCouple
5 weeks ago

Upside down Pineapple under the sea

"Thanks for taking the time to reply. 😊

We also love what you said about remembering it's supposed to be fun.

That is soooo important and something we'll definitely keep reminding ourselves of.

Thanks again for the advice. We really appreciate it A&N x"

No worries, sometimes it just seems natural what we do but sometimes a situation can throw you off so always best to think ahead I've found. Enjoy your journey and explorations and see where it takes you, it's a lot of fun this swinging malarkey x

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By *outhbucksCouple
5 weeks ago

Great Missenden

It is a journey of discovery for both of you.

What are boundaries today get pushed, sometimes in the heat of battle, and may disappear, but only after a lot of conversations.

If something happens in the midst of play that was beyond what you discussed, don't get angry; don't argue. Talk about it afterwards, how you each felt, and whether it is a boundary that can be moved or dropped altogether.

You will almost certainly end up travelling on the journey at different speeds. The trick to making it work is knowing when one of you has to put the brake on their hopes and expectations, and when the other needs to squeeze the accelerator slightly.

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By *eductive Adventures OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Whitley Bay

That's a really thoughtful way of looking at it, and we think you're absolutely right. 😊

For us, the conversations are every bit as exciting as the experiences themselves. Trust, honesty and knowing we can say "not yet" just as easily as "let's see where this goes" makes the journey even more enjoyable.

Who knows where the road will lead... but discovering it together, one adventure at a time, is definitely part of the attraction. 😉

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By *rMrsxxxxCouple
5 weeks ago

lincolnshire

Communication is key, you have to be strong as a couple and be on the same page.

Most of all, no pressure and have lots of fun.

Happy fabbing xxx

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By *WB85Man
5 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Nobody tells you how difficult 4 way attraction is with couples.

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By *ickedwillyCouple
5 weeks ago

Bangor

How enjoyable and a great social side to swinging.

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By *outhbucksCouple
5 weeks ago

Great Missenden

This!

I can be very difficult to find couples where all four of you 'click'.

It does happen though, and we have made some great friends over the years.

"Nobody tells you how difficult 4 way attraction is with couples. "

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By *heyorkiesCouple
5 weeks ago

the fax

Always go to a club with no expectations. We've always had a great social. It also took us 3 years to finally do a full swap (we only dip in and out of clubs, not there everyweek.)

A few negatives: some couples will try and poach your wife, some poeple for some strange reason don't have a shower before they go to a club...we find this baffeling .

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By *eductive Adventures OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Whitley Bay

Appreciate the replies and personal messages too. Thank you

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

East Sussex

Beware of journalists in sheep's clothing and people who say what they think you want to hear.

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By *harAndBryCouple
5 weeks ago

Downham Market

We assumed that people on a swinging site would want to meet. Turns out 75% of the guys can't meet due to having a partner or don't want to meet or are too scared to meet.

A large proportion of the couples on here aren't couples. Maybe they used to be bit now they're just the guy.

Trust your gut when it comes to people.

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By *nly2getherCouple
5 weeks ago

East London / Essex

"Beware of journalists in sheep's clothing and people who say what they think you want to hear. "

How so? Or am I just being naive?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
5 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Beware of journalists in sheep's clothing and people who say what they think you want to hear.

How so? Or am I just being naive?"

I'm thinking mainly of the recent BBC report and podcast.

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By *runette69Woman
5 weeks ago

Guildford

So hard to find people to meet with

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By *um n raisinWoman
5 weeks ago

taunton

stick to your own rules at all times and be picky because you'll regret it forever if your not

also there's no rule book for swinging like some will have you believe well there ius one and thats consent ie no is no and at anytime including change of mind

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By *hat.coupleCouple
5 weeks ago

Kent

It certainly strengthened our relationship, but what no-one tells you is how important communication is. I've always been a sucker for communication as its something I need in a relationship anyway, but the amount of couples we've meet over the years that say one of them isn't really into swinging but goes along with it for fear of losing their partner is alarming. Some couples just do not communicate enough effectively, meaning that one or both of them have issues before they enter the lifestyle and expect swinging to fix their relationship. If you arent very solid in your relationship I'd strongly advise against joining the lifestyle, I promise you it will only make things worse. Also, no-one tells you about the amount of single men posing as a couple on here. It's so obvious so I dont know why they bother. I dont agree with men making a profile on here in the hopes that they can convince their partner to swing (who has usually already said no repeatedly many times)

I think that shows very poor character and is a breach of trust

Mrs x

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By *eductive Adventures OP Couple
5 weeks ago

Whitley Bay

One thing that's really stood out is just how consistent the advice has been, even from people with very different experiences.

Communication, honesty, trust, patience and never feeling pressured seem to be the foundations that everything else is built on.

It's also been reassuring to hear that there's no "right" speed to travel this journey.

Some of you have taken years to reach certain milestones, others have found the social side just as rewarding as the physical side, and several of you reminded us that it's perfectly fine to say "not today" or even change your mind completely.

That feels like a really healthy way to approach it.

We also love the idea that the social side comes first. Spending time with people, sharing a laugh and getting to know each other feels like the best foundation for trust and, if there's chemistry, whatever comes next.

The comments about four-way attraction being much harder than expected have been particularly interesting too. It makes perfect sense when you think about it, and actually takes a bit of pressure off. We'd much rather meet people we genuinely click with than chase experiences for the sake of it.

We've also taken on board the advice about trusting our instincts, sticking to our own boundaries, and remembering that not everyone online is necessarily who they say they are.

Like most things in life, a bit of common sense goes a long way and we can smell the BS a mile away.

The biggest takeaway for us is that this really is a journey we'll be taking together. We've already spent countless hours talking about boundaries, expectations and "what if" scenarios, and those conversations have brought us even closer. Reading your replies has reinforced that we're starting with what matters most.

Most importantly, thank you for reminding us that it's supposed to be fun. That's probably the simplest piece of advice, but also the easiest to lose sight of.

We really appreciate everyone who's shared their experiences. Hopefully we'll have a few stories of our own to add one day (and soon) 😊

A&N x

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By *aconteur69111Man
5 weeks ago

eastbourne

"So hard to find people to meet with "
lol try being a genuine single guy.

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By *roublesome 2Man
5 weeks ago

Colchester

"So hard to find people to meet with lol try being a genuine single guy."

100 this

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By *BW_Hotwife_And_HimCouple
5 weeks ago

South Shields

All great advice.

I have two to add.

The first is more practical than anything.

Take flip-flops if you're going to dress down at a swingers club.

You don't know what you walking on or in at the loos.

Second, is for the fellas.

Don't take your eyes off your wife during any meet. There could be a reason she has gone quiet or isn't chatting. Have a 'stop now' plan rehearsed in case you need it.

Don't be the nice guy if it comes to something she clearly isn't enjoying or looks like it might be something she won't enjoy.

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By *wFunGuy4YouMan
5 weeks ago

Cheshire

Make your own rules/boundaries and stick to them. Dont let anyone else chamge your mind as i poss be for their benefit only. If something doesnt sound or feel right then it prob isnt...be your gut telling you something. You can say no to anyone if your not comfy with something, they should respect that without questioning it really.

Main thing it have fun and do what you both want to do

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By *izandpaulCouple
5 weeks ago

merseyside

Chat about the dos and don't before going to a club or meet.

Remember there is no rush, take your time, not others idea of time.

We have a safety valve.

If one of us squeeze the others big toe, its get up off the bed now, not later, not up for discussion.

Only used it once.

Sadly, you will see this site has an overwhelming number of dreamers, fantasists, drama queens and plain, old fashioned nutters.

There is also a great number of really nice people, but its an effort to sort the wheat from the chaff.

At least with clubs, swingers holidays and parties everyone there has made an effort to show up, so that's a really good start.

Have a great journey, we have.

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By *xSirenaxxWoman
5 weeks ago

You may meet some great couples and they will be married ... just not necessarily to each other 🤣🤣

Honestly the one couple I met I discovered that after we'd had fun together.

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By *utchyjackMan
5 weeks ago

Newquay

Im a single guy that's been on the site a few years, I've met some great people, mainly couples. Don't be afraid to ask some searching questions, I have found honesty is the best policy, liars invariably get found out, look for good verifications.

Good luck to you, have fun and enjoy the ride.

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By *ore_Than_VanillaMan
5 weeks ago

Cheddar

My usual introduction with a newish couple is, if this starts affecting either of you and how you feel emotionally, we all stop.

There have been a few couples where the reality has not been as emotionally care free as they thought it would be. We stopped, no harm done. Likewise on solo sessions with the lady, I have returned her to hubby after 30 minutes because he felt unexpected emotions. The next time, he was ok.

No matter how much you prepare always communicate on your feet(or back) with each other and just call it if either of you are having a wobble.

Anyone playing with you will respect you enough to put your joint emotional needs before their pleasure. If they don't, don't return.

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By *hakespears SwingersCouple
5 weeks ago

Warwickshire

Never, never, ‘take one for the team’.

It may be tough getting a four way connection, but it’s always better to pass than have regrets afterwards!

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By *ricoupleCouple
5 weeks ago

Groningen NL

Great advice above all very true and relevant. A couple of things we would add, go at the speed of the slowest, we found clubs the easiest way to meet people and ensure there is mutual attraction.

Having read your profile and circumstances you are probably in the need of a holiday? Get yourselves to Gran Canaria PDI or Cap in France. Both have plenty of bars, clubs and people in the lifestyle. It has been the best way to meet other couples and singles, a few drinks, laughs and a chat if you like the social side as well. We have made some great friends long term friends in the lifestyle we have met on holiday in GC or Cap.

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By *izandpaulCouple
5 weeks ago

merseyside

"Great advice above all very true and relevant. A couple of things we would add, go at the speed of the slowest, we found clubs the easiest way to meet people and ensure there is mutual attraction.

Great advice.

Treat yourselves to a holiday in a swingers resort.

Playa del Ingles in Gran Canaria is a great starting point, if it suits you, then its a step up to Cap D'Agde.

The great thing about a swingers holiday you can take it at your own pace, dip in and out, not a timewaster or dreamer in sight.

There's a sexual excitement and electricity in the air, hard to explain but if you are into swinging or just plain old sexy times, a swingers holiday should be on your bucket list.

We even like weekends in a Blackpool hotel with club visits.

We all deserve a good time.

Have fun.

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By *4FantasyCouple
5 weeks ago

Spalding

Hi and welcome

Some snippets for you.

1) have a code word if one of you is not interested.

2) Never be pressured in taking one for the team.

3) At the end of the day it is just sex and emotions with other people shouldn't come in to it

We have been on the scene since the late 90s on and off. We have enjoyed clubs and parties and our favourite being house parties. If you get an invite to a house party definately go

. At the moment we are taking a few months off, this stops it from getting stale and boring. It is not our whole life but a small extension to some naughty fun. Xx

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By *b03Man
5 weeks ago

Exeter

As a single male who's been here a fair while.

1. Simple supply and demand. You'd better make sure your profile is good and you can walk the walk, or you're shooting yourself in the foot

2. Maturity and the right pyschology. As the above, you're often be ignored or not responded to, most of the time it's not even intentional.

3. Be realistic. Most of your interest will come from couples. Essentially with fab statistics, you're a piece of meat. Not to say that you're disposable, but anyone looking for single males can pick and choose.

4. Cock pictures only attract attention from other men (cool is that's your thing) women and couples know what a penis looks like. the one on your profile is one of thousands

5. Safety! Always bring your own protection, let others know what you're upto, and do your homework before a meet. scammers often go for single guys first since they know they'll have better success.

6. Practice makes perfect. Go on socials, goto clubs, be social, talk to people, send messages that aren't a proposition or a penis picture. Noones impressed by any of that.

7. Don't do anything you're not into even if it's the only offer you've had. You'll only regret it.

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By *ed and WolfieCouple
5 weeks ago

Gravesend

What one thing..........

Watch out for flailing feet, knees and elbows on the orgy bed.

Simple but important advice!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath

"It is a journey of discovery for both of you.

What are boundaries today get pushed, sometimes in the heat of battle, and may disappear, but only after a lot of conversations.

Very level-headed and excellent advice that most do not get.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath

"Hi everyone!

We actually joined this site a little while ago (exciting times) but had to press pause while caring for elderly parents.

Now that chapter has passed, we're finally able to focus on ourselves again.

We're excited to start exploring fantasies we've shared for years and to meet genuine, like-minded people along the way.

As we've been reading profiles and browsing the forums, it got us wondering...

What surprised you most once you entered the lifestyle?

Was the reality different from what you expected?

Did it strengthen your relationship?

Was there anything you wish you'd known before you took that first step?

If you could give one piece of advice to a genuinely excited newbie couple (we're not completely newbie individually, just new to exploring this together), what would it be?

We're really looking forward to hearing your stories, advice and experiences.

Hopefully your replies will help us get started on this exciting journey.

We honestly can't wait! And who knows... perhaps (we definitely will) we'll meet some of you along the way too. 😊

I'm single solo polyamorous.

What surprised me:

1. How bad at sex some people ( all genders)are.

2. How much people use swinging as a bandaid for something else going on with them psychologically but are not aware of that. My band-aid was disconnection from my body but thankfully naturism and swinging has helped that! It's cheaper than a sex therapist or psychosomatic bodyworker! and I can move at my own pace with social support from different perspectives and it introduced me to kink. Which really helped me rip the band-aid off. My psychological team was aware that I was entering the lifestyle so they....(uncomfortably for them too) have been on this journey with me.

3. How much I would enjoy it after the first few initial panics. Lol! It made me realise how powerful my body is. Was not expecting that at all. I always viewed myself as weak. Not anymore.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath

"Great advice above all very true and relevant. A couple of things we would add, go at the speed of the slowest, we found clubs the easiest way to meet people and ensure there is mutual attraction.

Great advice.

Treat yourselves to a holiday in a swingers resort.

Playa del Ingles in Gran Canaria is a great starting point, if it suits you, then its a step up to Cap D'Agde.

The great thing about a swingers holiday you can take it at your own pace, dip in and out, not a timewaster or dreamer in sight.

There's a sexual excitement and electricity in the air, hard to explain but if you are into swinging or just plain old sexy times, a swingers holiday should be on your bucket list.

We even like weekends in a Blackpool hotel with club visits.

We all deserve a good time.

Have fun."

I went to Cap first. Lol! Typical deep end....Lol! But I have a 37-year love affair with France. I was too busy sunning my arse drinking rose wine and eating too much cheese to be worried about swinging. Lol! I speak basic French so communication is not a problem for me. I know more French than Spanish.

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By *akat158Couple
5 weeks ago

Nottinghamshire

We have quickly realised that the community is made up of regular people.

That's not a terribly stunning observation, I know. But it means that there's all kinds of people, some you'll get along with and some are the kind of people that don't take their shopping trolley back to the trolley park at the supermarket.

Also, make sure to stand up for yourself as some people will take advantage without gaining proper consent.

I bet they don't take their trolley back either.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
5 weeks ago

near Putney Heath

"As a single male who's been here a fair while.

1. Simple supply and demand. You'd better make sure your profile is good and you can walk the walk, or you're shooting yourself in the foot

2. Maturity and the right pyschology. As the above, you're often be ignored or not responded to, most of the time it's not even intentional.

4. Cock pictures only attract attention from other men (cool is that's your thing) women and couples know what a penis looks like. the one on your profile is one of thousands

5. Safety! Always bring your own protection, let others know what you're upto, and do your homework before a meet. scammers often go for single guys first since they know they'll have better success.

6. Practice makes perfect. Go on socials, goto clubs, be social, talk to people, send messages that aren't a proposition or a penis picture. Noones impressed by any of that.

7. Don't do anything you're not into even if it's the only offer you've had. You'll only regret it.

Good advice. You sound like a level-headed young man.

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By *heelerMan
5 weeks ago

Northants

That you'll write decent, humorous complimentary message and it'll be deleted and you get blocked.

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
5 weeks ago

North Wessex Downs and London

Go at your own speed, savourevery moment and don't be pushed by others if the pace doesn't suit. Demand respect from your play partners.

Remember it's not real life, just a boost to your sex life.

If it's not enhancing your relationship then stop.

Otherwise enjoy 😁😁😁

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By *oodlebug9Woman
5 weeks ago

nowhere

If a couple is not ready to talk to eachother openly about their feelings, fears, fantasies and limits, they're likely not ready for Fab.

But .. what surprised me was the depth of the community as in genuine friendships lasting many years.

Best tip is there is someone for everyone and don't take anything personally. If someone doesn't like you, that's fine, don't waste time worrying about it.

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By *enelope2UWoman
5 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

Been in it 26 years never been out of it

so I find those usually have zero clue and think it's porn or 50 shades rather than someone's actual being...

For me it's not an escape it's not a kink it's not a secret taboo whatever word people want to apply... It's 100 who I am, and what I enjoy 100% if the time. My friends are aware my family are aware and I choose to live my life honestly and definitely internally and externally shame free.

The hardest part is finding someone else that honest about it in return.

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By *layful Sub BratWoman
5 weeks ago

Greater London

Be honest. Be kind. Be straightforward. Know your worth, and never let anyone make you feel like you're "too much."

The right people won't ask you to be smaller —they'll respect everything that makes you, you.

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By *bflirtyCouple
4 weeks ago

Leighton Buzzard

A couple we met in the early days told us about a secret signal they had - pinkie pull. If something is happening that either party isn't 100% comfortable with they pull their partner's little finger and that means "We stop now, no discussion, get me out of here". We adopted it purselves, thankfully rarely had to use it but it's a good failsafe to have.

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By *oobaaMan
4 weeks ago

Sth Tyne

Some absolutely brilliant advice from everyone.

One thing I would add...at the end of every night, kiss and tell each other that you love each other.

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By *eductive Adventures OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Whitley Bay

Amazing, thoughtful and very helpful replies. Thank you all x

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By *ousteau72Man
4 weeks ago

Wombourne

Nobody told me about the 'clique' culture.

"If you're not a member, you can't come in" etc.....

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By *issmorganWoman
4 weeks ago

Yorks

For me, I was suprised when I became half a couple at how much ffm /ff play is wanted and expected on here.

I met my other half here ten years ago. We took break for us, for a while, then both wanted to stay on the scene.

The advice I'd give couples (after unicorns) and men is, manage

your expectations here. It's not easy to meet bi fems or to find couples where there's that 4 way attraction.

Also get out and meet others in the real world either at clubs or socials. Don't just rely on fab.

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By *issmorganWoman
4 weeks ago

Yorks

Also set your boundaries and stick to them, unless otherwise agreed. Keep talking to each other and always have a social meet first.

Good luck in your journey 🍀

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By *wingshot321.Couple
4 weeks ago

Nearby

The amount of messages you get on fab

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By *wingshot321.Couple
4 weeks ago

Nearby

"So hard to find people to meet with "

Easy to find, hard to get someone you like and for that person to actually turn up!

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By *p4fun60Couple
4 weeks ago

Hampshire

As sbove- no one tells you how hard it actually is to make a good connection, & the amount of fake profiles,pic collectors and timewasters you'll have to deal with & dont even get me started on the no shows lol- good luck in your lifestyle journey & have plenty of fun

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By *inkPomPomWoman
4 weeks ago

Isle of Man

"Nobody told me about the 'clique' culture.

"If you're not a member, you can't come in" etc....."

Is there a clique culture?

There are definitely groups of friends but if they exclude to the point of rudeness they're probably dicks and you wouldn't want to shag them anyway 🩷

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By *rodigal funCouple
4 weeks ago

Antrim Down Derry Tyrone Armagh

Really informative thread....can identify with many of the comments on here from the very top.

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

What surprised me most about this site rather than the lifestyle in particular is how awful the majority of my fellow men on here can be.

From the poor quality of messages, the deceit and pretence and the any hole is a goal attitude all the way through to the abuse upon rejection.

My number one piece of advice to a newbie couple is to actually block single men from messaging you. If you are looking for a single guy, you can still message someone that catches your eye and they can then respond, while the low quality majority are still prevented.

As for the lifestyle in general, my biggest surprise was how some of the most stunning and friendly people can still have insecurities despite being adored by countless people

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By *ed and WolfieCouple
4 weeks ago

Gravesend

What surprised me........

Have no fear that everyone is perfect. By which i mean everyone except you is a glamour model / porn star. 99% of people are just like you amd me, normal, average, the odd bump and lump and crease wrinkle and scar from life.

But generally, there is no judgement- at least when you meet people in clubs and at socials, and the hottest sexiest people are........normal.

Its more about attitude, fun, laughter, honesty, and from that comes the fantastic sex lol.

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By *ousteau72Man
4 weeks ago

Wombourne

How much of a clique exists.

Especially in clubs

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By *its_and_TiramisuCouple
4 weeks ago

North Somerset

There's a huge difference between 'the lifestyle' (or whatever you choose to call it) and the internet side of things.

Clubs and events, as well as organised group socials are full of real people that you can see, speak to face to face and yes...touch (consent forthcoming of course).

The Internet? It's anonymous. Anyone could be anyone. Photos could be genuine or not. People's details may be accurate or not, in terms of everything from age, height, body, location, even gender, as well as profiles just being a bunch of words written on a screen that may or may not reflect their relationship status, interests or what they're honestly looking for.

There's no hiding in clubs or any face to face situation. It's a lot easier to do so online. Add in a (likely quite high) percentage of people who are just online for solo sexual gratification, just to perve photos or chat whilst wanking, or simply to be nosy about others in their local area, and it's always worth taking everything you see online with a spoon (or shovel) of salt.

The majority of people you meet at face to face events are far more likely (but not guaranteed of course) to be more interested in swinging as an addition to their daily normal lives. Those online will contain everything from the fantasists and cheats, to those simply using sites like this for hook ups and no strings sex. Which of course they can and are entitled to do.

If couples are in this for the long term then knowing and recognising the difference between virtual and in person interaction is key, both in terms of boosting your chances of a happy swinging life and avoiding the potential pitfalls of wasted time, effort and money, and avoiding those that just see others as a convenient hole for their own gratification.

Obi

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
4 weeks ago

near Putney Heath

"How much of a clique exists.

Especially in clubs"

Clubs have memberships and rules. They exist for safety reasons. If one can't follow those, people will avoid one. Some people come to swinging from a world where they can do whatever they want. Seasoned swingers will make quick work of anyone who thinks they are entitled to sex.

Swinging is a social activity, and if one is an anti-social person, an introvert, used to being on their own or has a problem socialising and being part of a team, swinging will be very difficult for you. Even more so if one has a problem communicating.

I know because I'm autistic and I have a problem communicating in person but I do explain to people and let them make up their mind if they still want to interact with me or not.

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By *herrybakewellCouple
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

We've never really had any success with clubs....fab has been far more successful for us.

Everyone is different, theres no strict way of swinging that works for everyone.

Trying the different aspects, fab, social events and clubs is the only real way of working out what works best for you.

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By *ixenandhoundCouple
4 weeks ago

Plymouth, South west

We love the club scene, the thing that surprised me the most (vixen) is the variety of people that go to clubs... its fabulous that you find people from all walks of life, all shapes and sizes etc... I dont know why it surprised me but it did x

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By *emo1984Man
4 weeks ago

London

"So hard to find people to meet with "

True: but it is also true that 99.9% of the times single guys end up being completely ignored when getting in touch.

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By *JandCMCouple
4 weeks ago

cardiff

One thing you're never told is about how many people will arrange a meet and will not turn up, cancel on the day or just stop messaging.

Had this quite a few times.

As the wife says, it's like people get turned on more by arranging something they have no intention of turning up to than having the opportunity of having sex with a stranger.

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By *r SensualMan
4 weeks ago

London

How some couples who are looking for a 3rd person to join them, either a man or woman seem to have little to no regard in finding out that person’s wants, needs and desires.

If you’re seeking out singles/solo people, show them a level of courtesy to get to know them as an individual and not just a prop, role or addition to your fantasy.

Mutual respect and reciprocation are the ingredients for a damn good time

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By *wingshot321.Couple
4 weeks ago

Nearby

"One thing you're never told is about how many people will arrange a meet and will not turn up, cancel on the day or just stop messaging.

Had this quite a few times.

As the wife says, it's like people get turned on more by arranging something they have no intention of turning up to than having the opportunity of having sex with a stranger."

You still need to take a chance even if they tick all your _oxes, they could be perfect on paper but that doesn't mean they will turn up, the more _oxes they tick seems to equal the least likely they turn up!

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By *iptonmalexxMan
4 weeks ago

tipton

Wear sunscreen

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By *acavityMan
4 weeks ago

Redditch

Being naked is no big deal.

It’s like getting in a swimming pool. It’s a shock at the start, but you quickly adjust.

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By *evonFbsCouple
3 weeks ago

East Devon

Our biggest suprise is how natural it feels and how addictive it is.

We very very rarely go out in the vanilla world now. The totaly relaxed feeling at a club and the open conversation and thats with out the sexy sights and possible playtimes.

Also who knew thay mrs fbs is very very Bi she didnt until she was past 50 and neither of us knew we would enjoy Bdsm and the kink world.

Still learning and exploring

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By *evonFbsCouple
3 weeks ago

East Devon

"How much of a clique exists.

Especially in clubs

I know because I'm autistic and I have a problem communicating in person but I do explain to people and let them make up their mind if they still want to interact with me or not."

We find a large portion of the swing world are neuro spicy in one way or another and an even higher percentage in the kink worlsmd we love the open way it can be brought to the table and find a way to work with it

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By *ctionSandwichCouple
3 weeks ago

Newcastle under Lyme

Be prepared for lots of fakes, toe dippers, and couples who haven't taken care of themselves thinking they have a chance.

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By *aughty-oneMan
3 weeks ago

Stansted

The vast majority of swingers are cunts that have lack personality and have some very serious issues mentally,

If you think it’s going to be a huge fuckfest free for all. then be prepared to get very disappointed…. unless you’re prepared to work hard to make good connections.

There is more rejection than any success as most groups on here tend to be very unwelcoming to new people.

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By *heyorkiesCouple
3 weeks ago

the fax

"The vast majority of swingers are cunts that have lack personality and have some very serious issues mentally,

If you think it’s going to be a huge fuckfest free for all. then be prepared to get very disappointed…. unless you’re prepared to work hard to make good connections.

There is more rejection than any success as most groups on here tend to be very unwelcoming to new people."

Don't sit on the fence fella

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By *poolGuyMan
3 weeks ago

Liverpool

The number of times you will use the block button.

And the time wasters, you'll get a feel for them.

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By *umlover30sWoman
3 weeks ago

Burgess Hill

That even if you’ve never squirted many people in the lifestyle will claim that they will be the first to make you squirt.

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
3 weeks ago

Somerset

"The vast majority of swingers are cunts that have lack personality and have some very serious issues mentally,

If you think it’s going to be a huge fuckfest free for all. then be prepared to get very disappointed…. unless you’re prepared to work hard to make good connections.

There is more rejection than any success as most groups on here tend to be very unwelcoming to new people."
We have found the majority of swingers we have interacted socially or sexually with at clubs or from here (mainly couples to be fair) to be engaging, good company, outgoing and together people. Apart from the wanking zombies at the clubs we first went to, we have found single men to have been universally respectful and good company too. Maybe we have just been lucky or choose well, but our experiences have all been positive. We came to the BDSM scene and both commented to each other that whilst that world contained lots of nice people, the swinging scene had less socially awkward people (nothing wrong with being so but it does make it trickier to quickly have a laugh, strike up conversation and build a rapport with if you meet at a club or privately), was more welcoming and generally more fun socially.

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By *hat Couple Over ThereCouple
3 weeks ago

Doncaster

We have talked about it for soo long.

We went to a club with the intention of only playing with each other and just showing off. Which we did and was super fun.

Next week went back and the boundaries was soft swapping with another couple was ok. These boundaries were stuck too. And the couple when shared with was lovely. Making it an amazing experience for both of us. And we are definitely into swapping

Our next visit the boundaries have been set. Both allowed to do full swap but Mrs is a little bit more on the reserved side of she wants full sex with another man yet. But that's her choice.

It has definitely brought us together. But just a shame we arnt able to get to clubs as regular as we would like.

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By *ed and WolfieCouple
3 weeks ago

Gravesend

"The vast majority of swingers are cunts that have lack personality and have some very serious issues mentally,

If you think it’s going to be a huge fuckfest free for all. then be prepared to get very disappointed…. unless you’re prepared to work hard to make good connections.

There is more rejection than any success as most groups on here tend to be very unwelcoming to new people."

Sorry but your comments suggest that you are one of those who feel entitled to a guaranteed shag at any event you go to, rather than enjoying the social freedom of being able to be yourself and talk about your sexual lifestyle openly with others.

The social side is just as important for most and is probably more prevalent then just the physical stuff.

I guess the question is for most people on here 'are you a swinger, or just someone with no one to sleep with who is looking for a fuck?'

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By *pitfireSwallow69Couple
3 weeks ago

Glasgow

Honestly we’d say that it’s about the body confidence, both of us had issues either growing up be it being bullied and not liking what you see in the mirror.

To get the “fabs” the comments/messages and lovely compliments when meeting in a club just (for us anyway) gives us a great boost in confidence and that every body is beautiful in their own way.

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By *oxesMan
3 weeks ago

Southend, Essex

"Hi everyone!

We actually joined this site a little while ago (exciting times) but had to press pause while caring for elderly parents.

Now that chapter has passed, we're finally able to focus on ourselves again.

We're excited to start exploring fantasies we've shared for years and to meet genuine, like-minded people along the way.

As we've been reading profiles and browsing the forums, it got us wondering...

What surprised you most once you entered the lifestyle?

Was the reality different from what you expected?

Did it strengthen your relationship?

Was there anything you wish you'd known before you took that first step?

If you could give one piece of advice to a genuinely excited newbie couple (we're not completely newbie individually, just new to exploring this together), what would it be?

We're really looking forward to hearing your stories, advice and experiences.

Hopefully your replies will help us get started on this exciting journey.

We honestly can't wait! And who knows... perhaps (we definitely will) we'll meet some of you along the way too. 😊

I was lucky My Friend was on the scene and she told me everything Before I needed to know before entering.

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By *inkPomPomWoman
3 weeks ago

Isle of Man

"So hard to find people to meet with

True: but it is also true that 99.9% of the times single guys end up being completely ignored when getting in touch. "

Because most just say hi or send something obscene mate

Would you reply to that and a blank profile? I would hope not

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By *wingfun9789Couple
3 weeks ago

Cardenden

The amount of people your parents age who will try and fuck you 😂

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
3 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

"The amount of people your parents age who will try and fuck you 😂"

This ^ then argue age is but a number and my argument is and will always be this. If age is just a number and let’s just say for example I’m 40 and you’re 60 then why don’t you go and pursue someone in their 80’s? It’s EXACTLY the same age gap just for you instead of me. That normally shuts them up…

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
3 weeks ago

near Putney Heath

"The amount of people your parents age who will try and fuck you 😂"

Unfortunately, as people in their 20s this will happen. You look the closest to their porn fantasies.

I have a young face but I'm fat, so I'm not most men's porn fantasies ( the most watched porn is some barely legal step daughter/step son fantasy---immediate autistic ick so hard)....I have had to turn down a lot of women surprisingly, but I'm clinically straight so...it's a no-go from the beginning.

Most swingers I've met are in their 40s and 50s...and then unfortunately, they start to die or get too ill to carry on. In 3.5 years so so many I've met have passed away or just had to stop due to illness.

my parents are in their 70s and theirs only a few fuckable men in their 70s I will fuck and they cannot remind me of my dad. Instant libido killer. I also worry about breaking their hip or them pulling back! Lol! this is an athletic activity mostly!!! Unless you use a fucking machine or toy. I'm for whatever works.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
3 weeks ago

near Putney Heath

"The amount of people your parents age who will try and fuck you 😂

cackle... I like to give the 20-year-olds and the 60-year-olds space. Lol! Either age group makes me think I might be taking advantage of them. Lol! I'm more comfortable with 30s, 40s and 50s.

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