FabSwingers.com forum: Messaging Etiquette

By *wayne-Pipe OP Man
16 weeks ago

Am I doing this right?

I send a message, and if no reply afterwards I just leave things as it is.

I get reminders if I've not heard back from them and accidentally messaging them again which helps.

No reply is a no

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
16 weeks ago

Cheshire

Yes you’re right it’s also in the FAQ, just take a no reply as exactly that, no interest in you.

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By *WB85Man
16 weeks ago

Staffordshire

You are correct.

Message once....if they delete it block.

If they dont reply after a few weeks. I just delete.

I will never send a second message.

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By *riestmanMan
3 days ago

North West

Ok I have one. A chat has begun. It's flowing nice. Getting to know you stuff. A mutual goodnight and wake up the next day to find I'm blocked.

I'm a polite well mannered individual. All I expect from women when they are no longer interested, is to a short message of the reason why. You could even lie about the reason. But we're big boys we can handle it.

A block is such an insult. Is anyone with me on this? or am I being super soft (and not a big boy) by moaning about it here... Thoughts ?

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
3 days ago

Here. There.

"Ok I have one. A chat has begun. It's flowing nice. Getting to know you stuff. A mutual goodnight and wake up the next day to find I'm blocked.

A block is such an insult. Is anyone with me on this? or am I being super soft (and not a big boy) by moaning about it here... Thoughts ?"

It’s not an insult, but if you’ve been chatting it does seem a bit abrupt, a bit of a cowards way of saying don’t want to continue talking.

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
3 days ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

I would say that ignore anyone who blocks you because they were never going to meet you in the first place as either you weren’t for them or not aligned with what you are looking for. There are plenty of people that will reply and try and arrange a meet

just takes patience !

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By *ousteau72Man
3 days ago

Wombourne

As someone has already said, block and delete.

Saves a lot of time.

And don't take it personal, the ratio of men to women just makes it more of a waiting game.

On the plus side, we don't have to wade through 100's of unwanted messages. Every cloud.

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By *orgetmeKnotCouple
3 days ago

Rainham, Kent

That is the general consensus, but also bear in mind that they might not reply straight away, so patience is key.

We read a lot of messages and then mark as unread as we intend to reply later when we have time to sit down together and go through them. Everyone has a life outside of this and running a family, going to work and doing all the other normal life chores comes first.

For us, if we're not interested and the message was good we'll reply with a polite no thanks. If the message was generic or zero effort then we usually just delete. But if we marked as unread, then we will respond...but sometimes it can take a week or two.

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By *robablyoverdressedMan
3 days ago

"Ok I have one. A chat has begun. It's flowing nice. Getting to know you stuff. A mutual goodnight and wake up the next day to find I'm blocked.

A block is such an insult. Is anyone with me on this? or am I being super soft (and not a big boy) by moaning about it here... Thoughts ?"

I've had this and you do start to wonder "what did I do?" But it actually says more about them than me and probably a lucky escape

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By *eroLondonMan
3 days ago

Mayfair

"...A chat has begun. It's flowing nice. Getting to know you stuff..."

•

Part of getting to know each other is establishing compatibilities and 'feeling the vibe'. It's also being cognisant that you are one of several conversations that the other person is (was) having.

They decided, having chatted, that you weren't compatible with them and/or they felt a stronger vibe with some other person.

That doesn't excuse their spineless attitude though.

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By *eroLondonMan
3 days ago

Mayfair

"...you do start to wonder "what did I do?"..."

•

Sometimes you're not doing anything wrong. You were the gold standard...

ㅤ

ㅤㅤ

...they just happened to find someone with platinum attributes. It's not your failing.

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By *onathanjonesMan
3 days ago

Chester

Hello!

If it’s just a general, informal message about something; a status, a post - just crack on - fire and forget. Women will generally value a properly-targeted meaningful message with a known context. So, since you’re holding strong cards - let the woman lead. Fire and forget.

However, if it’s a completely unsolicited message with no context, for example to a local woman after a quick browse; you pretty much have one shot (possibly two). If you like her, DO NOT send a shit message. Think about it. Use your brain, try to tie the message into her. Try to make the message impossible to ignore. Response rates can be very high if you do it properly.

Then, what I do personally, is if she reads and no response in 24hrs, I block her. This cuts contact there and then. She won’t come up again.

Why do I block? Well, because I’m full of myself, and I don’t like being ignored. Generally, from what I understand, most higher-calibre guys implement a similar policy. There may be 20 great guys in her local pool out of 500 (no joke). What happens then is that 20 quickly shrinks to 15, 15 shrinks to 10, 10 to 5, and 5 to 0. Unfortunately, the higher-calibre guys don’t bother to message her again, they may block, and she’s left with 480 “fafs”.

Interestingly, there’s something called “the paradox of plenty” that affects the most fucked up countries in the world. When you look at those, they have an excess of supply - yet that damages them.

Good luck anyway.

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By *issmorganWoman
3 days ago

Yorks

Yep that's the right thing to to op.

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By *ucy83SOWoman
3 days ago

Southampton

"Ok I have one. A chat has begun. It's flowing nice. Getting to know you stuff. A mutual goodnight and wake up the next day to find I'm blocked.

A block is such an insult. Is anyone with me on this? or am I being super soft (and not a big boy) by moaning about it here... Thoughts ?"

You’re overthinking it and being soft. If that happens just take it as a no longer interested and move one.

Women don’t owe you a reason why they aren’t going to progress things and it’s not an insult to block you.

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By *ctionSandwichCouple
2 days ago

Newcastle under Lyme

Speaking for ourselves we block singles entirely. When we do look for singles, male or female, we approach them. We base that often on who has set a meet or put themselves as 'available today'. (As well as the usual how they ut themselves across and if they have verifications).

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By *uliette500Woman
2 days ago

Hull

"Ok I have one. A chat has begun. It's flowing nice. Getting to know you stuff. A mutual goodnight and wake up the next day to find I'm blocked.

A block is such an insult. Is anyone with me on this? or am I being super soft (and not a big boy) by moaning about it here... Thoughts ?

It’s not an insult, but if you’ve been chatting it does seem a bit abrupt, a bit of a cowards way of saying don’t want to continue talking. "

The amount of abuse women get when they say no thanks is beyond words. We are not being cowards at all we are making our lives easy by sending a very clear message blocking you. We dont need to give you a reason why.

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By *rincess_LWoman
2 days ago

Aldershot

It doesn’t matter what we do or if we answer or not… we get abused and harassed by messages.

Take a deleted message, no answer or a no as the answer and move on.

Please!

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By *lder7420Man
2 days ago

Brighouse area

Being older, you get used to no replying...par for the course, as for women..it never happens..they treat all men the same...we don't all abuse, ladies..some men are happy just to chat....🙂

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By *oleraine-coupleCouple
2 days ago

Coleraine

A few things to consider from our perspective

1. We get loads of messages so as much as we would love to reply more often it’s simply impractical. As a result we sometimes miss or forget good messages from people

2. Crap one liners just get deleted zero effort in a message shows a person incapable of any serious meeting

3. Messages straight into sex, alpha male I will do x,y,z to your misses get deleted and blocked

It’s very tough here for guys but there is no doubt good profiles and quality messages will out you in the top 10% of the rest

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By *riestmanMan
2 days ago

North West

Thanks gang.

Good stuff to consider. Totally understand the blocking, in some circumstances. As much as I can't stop a woman doing this, I also can't stop any man being pushy and vulgar. In a perfect world eh

Good little forum this ☺️

Happy fabing

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