FabSwingers.com forum: How to message females?

By *ark Desire Jamie OP Man
2 weeks ago

Chepstow

Not having much luck with messaging females - what grabs your attention?

Is the fact that I'm only after a fwb and nothing more a blocker?

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By *ear_TinkerbellCouple
2 weeks ago

The lost village

Only one pic, not actually single, nothing on the profile about you as a person but "you know how to make a woman squirt"

All things that may be putting women off.

Tink

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex

I'd say it's a combination of that and you calling women females. Nobody wants feel as if they're supplementing another person's home life

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By *ark Desire Jamie OP Man
2 weeks ago

Chepstow

Thank you - I'll change it up a bit!

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By *ark Desire Jamie OP Man
2 weeks ago

Chepstow

Genuinely thanks, the more you know!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Thank you - I'll change it up a bit!"

I think you should make it clear that you have a partner though

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By *ark Desire Jamie OP Man
2 weeks ago

Chepstow

That's a very fair point.

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By *oupleInSyncCouple
2 weeks ago

Falkirk

Labelling your relationship as "not getting enough at home" is disrespectful in itself, but the fact that you do have a partner will be off-putting for many. While I appreciate we're all kinda looking for the same thing, your bio reads as though you're just treating females as a means to an end. The topper though is the "I know how to make a woman squirt". No you do not. You may have been with some women who have the ability to do so which is amazing, but not everyone does and should certainly never be"made" to.

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By *ark Desire Jamie OP Man
2 weeks ago

Chepstow

"Labelling your relationship as "not getting enough at home" is disrespectful in itself, but the fact that you do have a partner will be off-putting for many. While I appreciate we're all kinda looking for the same thing, your bio reads as though you're just treating females as a means to an end. The topper though is the "I know how to make a woman squirt". No you do not. You may have been with some women who have the ability to do so which is amazing, but not everyone does and should certainly never be"made" to."

I definitely see what you're saying - just to say I wouldn't make someone do anything they didn't want.

I guess in a man's mind I was thinking that might seem attractive, but very clearly not!

Thanks to everyone for the advice

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By *erdyHollyTV/TS
2 weeks ago

In a galaxy far far away

You need a few more pictures, just having 1 isn't enough

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By *WB85Man
2 weeks ago

Staffordshire

You've got some good feedback here to get things started.

With regards to messaging, be sure someone is a suitable match....don't just message for the sake of it.

That way you have a better chance of a reply than being ignored.

I always find that the right profiles have something on the bio or photographs for me to refer to, making it more personal.

Also, don't copy and paste...this was my mistake when I joined.

Good luck.

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By *all me FlikWoman
2 weeks ago

Galaxy Far Far Away

You've removed any reference to the fact that you are cheating which isn't right as you should at least be honest on here, even if not at home so that people can make informed choices.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
2 weeks ago

East Sussex

You're being disingenuous now. I hope you make it clear that you have a partner before you meet someone

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By (user no longer on site)
2 weeks ago

I’m sorry to be so negative - but your profile post-changes is really not good.

Your ‘about me’ section is so generic. It’s like you’ve scraped away every bit of personality to try to appeal to everyone.

For example:

‘Music definitely helps through all aspects of life, be it trying to relax, gearing up for an event or setting the scene for sex’

How does that tell me anything whatsoever about you? Everyone likes music! It would literally be better if you specified a niche interest like power ballads or heavy metal or chamber music or whatever…You may put off 90% of people but you’re more likely to match with the few who share your interests.

If I were you I’d ditch this profile and start over - and be brave about sharing what makes you unique.

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By *oupleInSyncCouple
2 weeks ago

Falkirk

I'd still suggest being open and upfront about the fact that you have a partner. That way people choosing to engage with you know that form the start and are making an informed decision rather than finding out later.

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By *iss DevilWoman
2 weeks ago

Bedford

First of all, we are women/ladies, hardly any of us like to be called "females". Secondly, I have guessed that from reading your profile, plus some post on here, that you're not exactly single. Most women that have been on here for a bit would guess that, too, so I'd say it's much better to be open about it- it would allow your potential meets to make an informed decision.

Last but not least, your age range is very limited, too.

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By *elaxed_Fun_TimesMan
2 weeks ago

Buckingham

"I'd say it's a combination of that and you calling women females. Nobody wants feel as if they're supplementing another person's home life "

This was my thought too!

Then my next thought was of Friday Night Dinners. Didn't the Dad call them "females"?

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By *acavityMan
2 weeks ago

Redditch

"Not having much luck with messaging females - what grabs your attention?

Is the fact that I'm only after a fwb and nothing more a blocker?"

There should be no issue with the FWB, it’s a swinging site. Nobody is expecting a long term relationship ( but it is nice when it happens)

But “Females” as a noun?

It’s degrading, reducing women to the status of animals.

Combined with “not getting enough at home” it’s giving off big Incel energy.

As an adjective, it’s fine. So looking for a female FWB, as opposed to a male FWB is okay

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By *harAndBryCouple
2 weeks ago

Downham Market

"You've removed any reference to the fact that you are cheating which isn't right as you should at least be honest on here, even if not at home so that people can make informed choices."

This is the problem with giving advice on profiles....and we're as guilty of it as anyone. All it means is that those people that have changed their profiles aren't really reflecting a true version of themselves anymore.

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By *aandLoCouple
2 weeks ago

Southampton

"I'd say it's a combination of that and you calling women females. Nobody wants feel as if they're supplementing another person's home life

This was my thought too!

Then my next thought was of Friday Night Dinners. Didn't the Dad call them "females"? "

Yep, immediately what I thought of. Loved the series. 🤣

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By *ympho6969Woman
2 weeks ago

glasgow

"Not having much luck with messaging females - what grabs your attention?

Is the fact that I'm only after a fwb and nothing more a blocker?"

I sure hope not. Since thats exactly what im looking for.

I'd suggest using the search function for others asking for help. Plenty of them, and mountains of advice

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By *ctionSandwichCouple
2 weeks ago

Newcastle under Lyme

Don't call them 'kiddo' we replied to an unsolicited message from a woman and addressed her like that. Well hubby did.

To be fair, it was a half arsed message on her part, so she got the same level of effort. Plus hubby is very choosey.

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