FabSwingers.com forum: Lifestyle Etiquette in Clubs

By *uju18 OP Couple
1 week ago

bury st edmunds

Hi,

Couple new to the scene here, still trying to figure everything out and would love some advice, we have so many questions.

Open orgy areas - does this mean you are indicating you want involvement from other people so its like an open invitation?

Dark rooms- again is this seen as an open invitation?

Approaching others - what's generally the best way to approach people if you are looking to play?

Non-couple areas - if you're in a completely public area is it normal for single men to come over and want to join in or put their genitals near you?

Saying no - the best way to decline without hurting someone's feelings or causing upset?

Couples areas - does this mean you only want to participate with your partner?

Facilities - if you are using public BDSM facilities does this indicate you are open to others joining in without asking first as this would make me nervous while restrained

Dancefloors- if you are up dancing without your partner is this opening an invitation to be approached

Just looking for advice so we know what to expect in each particular environment

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By *en_Dover79Man
1 week ago

Oswaldtwistle

"Hi,

Couple new to the scene here, still trying to figure everything out and would love some advice, we have so many questions.

Open orgy areas - does this mean you are indicating you want involvement from other people so its like an open invitation?

Dark rooms- again is this seen as an open invitation?

Approaching others - what's generally the best way to approach people if you are looking to play?

Non-couple areas - if you're in a completely public area is it normal for single men to come over and want to join in or put their genitals near you?

Saying no - the best way to decline without hurting someone's feelings or causing upset?

Couples areas - does this mean you only want to participate with your partner?

Facilities - if you are using public BDSM facilities does this indicate you are open to others joining in without asking first as this would make me nervous while restrained

Dancefloors- if you are up dancing without your partner is this opening an invitation to be approached

Just looking for advice so we know what to expect in each particular environment "

Consent is key which ever area you are in, Reputable clubs operate a no means no rule.

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By *iss DevilWoman
1 week ago

Bedford

Everywhere in the club, the expectation is of respect to others and seeking consent. Just because you are playing in an open area, regardless whether it's couples room or not, nobody should be coming up to you and expecting to join. Sadly, some men very much miss that point, they seem to believe that, as soon as a woman is through the door of a swingers club, she'd play with anyone - which is very much not true. You definitely need to have your wits about you when you do choose open play areas, and you need to be very assertive, as some men don't respond to anything apart from some very strong words.

Dark room - I'm guessing by going in, you're choosing/consenting to whatever may happen in there. Hence I avoid them, not my thing.

Chatting to people is the best way to show your interest and gauge theirs.

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By *uju18 OP Couple
1 week ago

bury st edmunds

Thank you this is really useful I think I will probably avoid dark rooms going forward just for my own peace of mind x

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By *ed and WolfieCouple
1 week ago

Gravesend

As has been said above consent is key. Just approach it like you are in a pub and treat people the same.

Just because you see a naked bum doesn't mean you can just spank it as you walk past for example.

Just chat with people and go in with no expectations that anything will happen. A polite no thanks should be all it takes if someone approaches and you dont want to engage with them. If they persist just report them to staff and any decent club will sort it out.

Couples rooms are simply a place which excludes single men. You can play with each other or any other couple who catch your eye and give the OK.

Generally if you tell the staff it's your first visit they will give you a tour and run through the dos and donts.

In short an open mind and a sense of humour are all you need to have a good time.

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By *uju18 OP Couple
1 week ago

bury st edmunds

Fantastic thank you so much

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By *rMrsxxxxCouple
1 week ago

lincolnshire

The main bit is the social area, have a drink, I like to play a game of pool.

It can be daunting for your first time as you feel like newbies.

Just chat to people and then if you have a connection ask if they want to head to a play room etc.

I personally prefer a private room most of the time.

Then there is the dress down aspect, so when it’s a certain time you wear something sexier

Look on the forum here for the club you are visiting and see what others say, there are normally hot tubs too.

Most importantly have fun

Mrsxxxx

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By *WB85Man
1 week ago

Staffordshire

We went to a club scared shitless and naive.

The club themselves answered so many worries and concerns we had.

Honestly, find like a newbies night or a couples and single ladies night that has a soft approach and take it from there.

Its worth saying that club rules and etiquette varies massively.

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By *hoenixmanMan
1 week ago

Faversham

After more years in and out of the lifestyle than I care to remember, my advice would be simply... take your time.

Agree between the pair of your before you go to a club (or a meet) your boundaries and keep to them.

For the first time at a club new to you, treat it exactly the same as going to the pub, a club or any other social gathering. If you're comfortable and things progress, then great.

Just don't rush....

And, as another commenter has said, rules and ESPECIALLY etiquette vary from club to club, party to party enormously. This is why you need to ease yourselves in. I have seen so many new couples last five minutes on the scene because they went head long into a situation that got out of control due to their relative naivety.

Wish you well - and have fun!

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By *uju18 OP Couple
1 week ago

bury st edmunds

Thank you so much everyone, I will absolutely keep this in mind. Knowing its different between venues helps so we dont just assume its the same across the board and its this kind of stuff we need to look out for. I appreciate all of your inputs.

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By *haredkinksCouple
1 week ago

Kent

Others have already said, but everything should be consented to, nothing implied.

Clubs will always give you a tour and talk you through things if you’re new.

Nothing should happen that you’re not wanting to happen.

Identify clubs you’d like to try, contact them in advance. And just take it slow. Your first visit can just be fun to dress up, be in the environment, talk to people, and maybe have a little wander round and look at some things. Go at your own pace.

We absolutely love trying different clubs, we’ve never felt unsafe, everyone is so so friendly and we can do as little or as much as we want to.

Penthouse Playrooms do a newbies night and V2V in Nuneaton is really good for newbies as well. OP4F in north London is female managed / run and we’d highly recommend if you’re new.

Mostly just have fun exploring this world, we never looked back

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By *un_2Couple
1 week ago

"Everywhere in the club, the expectation is of respect to others and seeking consent. Just because you are playing in an open area, regardless whether it's couples room or not, nobody should be coming up to you and expecting to join. Sadly, some men very much miss that point, they seem to believe that, as soon as a woman is through the door of a swingers club, she'd play with anyone - which is very much not true. You definitely need to have your wits about you when you do choose open play areas, and you need to be very assertive, as some men don't respond to anything apart from some very strong words.

Dark room - I'm guessing by going in, you're choosing/consenting to whatever may happen in there. Hence I avoid them, not my thing.

Chatting to people is the best way to show your interest and gauge theirs.

Excellent advice

I mirror all of the this.

Always ask for consent for their safety and your own

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