FabSwingers.com forum: Struggling to get a meet?

By *ackshotKing99 OP Man
6 weeks ago

wirral

Anyone seems to be struggling to find the bearings with chat.. obvs being under the radar doesn’t help but surely when you speak with certain people they know you’re genuine like I’ll send picture via dm no problem.

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By *lueDressWoman
6 weeks ago

Bath Somerset

I just think it’s more difficult for a single male to get some action. I remember when I was in my 20s and the major majority of people that I knew were looking for a bisexual female not a male.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
6 weeks ago

Central

Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people, so people need to be in the rare minority who are, in order to get replies - partly as once they engage, it messes up their mail filters.

Look for posts from struggling single men and adopt any advice and suggestios given that could help you

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By *ominikPiotrMan
6 weeks ago

Omagh

Hey everyone,

?I’m relatively new here and could really use a bit of perspective from people who already know the ropes.

?I’m trying to figure out the best way to navigate the lifestyle, especially when it comes to breaking the ice and chatting with other members. I’ve already talked to a few experienced users and tweaked my profile based on their feedback, so I think the profile itself is looking pretty decent at this point.

?Despite that, I’m finding it really tough to establish any kind of lasting connection. It feels like conversations just fizzle out, and I’m starting to think I might be doing something wrong—I just can’t quite put my finger on what it is.

?To be clear about my mindset: I’m definitely not desperate, and I’m not trying to force anything. I’m also not here just looking for "free sex" or mindless hookups. My goal is simple—I want to meet cool people, vibe, and genuinely enjoy my time. Since I'm not looking to settle down or get into a committed relationship right now, keeping things fun, respectful, and quality-driven is key for me.

?For those who’ve been doing this for a while: how do you usually approach messaging? What catches your attention in a chat, and what keeps you interested? I’d love to hear your tips or any unwritten rules I might be missing

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By *tlanshiaWoman
6 weeks ago

Chatham

It is difficult to get a meet for single men anyway.

Make your profile stand out, give someone a reason to want to talk to you.

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By *harAndBryCouple
6 weeks ago

Downham Market

"Anyone seems to be struggling to find the bearings with chat.. obvs being under the radar doesn’t help but surely when you speak with certain people they know you’re genuine like I’ll send picture via dm no problem. "

You haven't asked for profile advice so we can't give it....but do YOU think your profile is going to encourage anyone to want to chat or meet?

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By *ilverfox for youMan
6 weeks ago

Hull

Same club here but I put mine down to age !!

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 22/05/26 17:22:46]

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By *harAndBryCouple
6 weeks ago

Downham Market

"Same club here but I put mine down to age !!"

It's not your age that's the problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

"[Removed by poster at 22/05/26 17:22:46]"

For me, swinging is a lifestyle.

It is hard and meeting people can be hard.

If you’re serious about swinging and meeting couples I think you need to live the life and take it for what it is, the social aspect is just as if not more important than the sex.

My advice would be;

Get busy on forums, chat to people on there. Go to a social, go to a club. What you put in is what you get out. Treat people like people and not just for the play. Have a normal conversation.

That all being said, as I said it is a lifestyle and can be hard on your head even when you’re meeting people. Politics. Rejection. Expectations. Emotions. The list goes on.

Like I said, you need to have a think if it’s for you. It’s a lifestyle. Not a game.

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

It was always tough to get meets. Now though women don't even respond to your message. I know you'll get lots of messages but its just rude isnt it?

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By *harAndBryCouple
6 weeks ago

Downham Market

"It was always tough to get meets. Now though women don't even respond to your message. I know you'll get lots of messages but its just rude isnt it?"

Not responding is no more rude than thinking you're entitled to a reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

Oh so its a sense of entitlement ? Sorry my mistake. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

"It was always tough to get meets. Now though women don't even respond to your message. I know you'll get lots of messages but its just rude isnt it?"

So us women/ couples who choose not to spend hours replying to each of 50-100 messages individually is ‘rude’ is it? Men like you just don’t get it do you?

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By *sm265Woman
6 weeks ago

Perthshire

"It was always tough to get meets. Now though women don't even respond to your message. I know you'll get lots of messages but its just rude isnt it?"

No. It's not.

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By *J-GuyMan
6 weeks ago

Sheffieldshire

It’s purely a numbers game amongst other things. Females get hundreds and hundreds of messages by the hour. There is almost no chance of them even seeing your message unless you have a killer photo of yourself (that catches their eyes as they are scrolling down page by page). My advise is get in the gym, work out and sculpt your body. It’s all about the physical to get your foot in the door not so much the words. There was a time females loved dick pix (tried and proven very successful) and for whatever reason that time has gone and Woman have evolved past the penis photo. They are no longer impressed. In fact whatever you do DO NOT send a photo of your junk. They will hate you. Keep yourself up to date with the trends of what is acceptable or not, guage the room.

The ratio of men to women on this website is staggering. My advise to the builders of this matrix would be to make having photos a mandatory condition of having an account. That way you cut out all the men and who can’t be arsed to upload at least five clear photos, and woman for that matter, secondly three sentences on their bio, and thirdly it should list all there verifications to show the commitment to the profile.

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By *torm in a G cupWoman
6 weeks ago

Land of the Long White Cloud

"It was always tough to get meets. Now though women don't even respond to your message. I know you'll get lots of messages but its just rude isnt it?"

I used to think it was rude to not respond. I would politely decline, but then would get multiple responses questioning why I wasn't interested and sometimes even abusive responses. I now don't reply if the person has put no effort in to their messages or haven't read my profile.

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By *oupleInSyncCouple
6 weeks ago

Falkirk

"Oh so its a sense of entitlement ? Sorry my mistake. Lol"

You're really not doing yourself any favours here. Your reply in itself reads as though YOU feel entitled to a reply. Even the forum guidelines state non-reply should be interpreted as a no thank you.

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By *arleycplWoman
6 weeks ago

Frodsham

If someone sends me an interesting message I look at there profile and if it interests me I might reply, poor profile no reply and often block them

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By *CExeCouple
6 weeks ago

Hong-Kong/Exeter

"Oh so its a sense of entitlement ? Sorry my mistake. Lol"

Your bio is 5 words long and your photos are set to private. If you put as little effort into your messages as you do your photos, I'm not surprised you're getting no replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
6 weeks ago

"It’s purely a numbers game amongst other things. Females get hundreds and hundreds of messages by the hour. There is almost no chance of them even seeing your message unless you have a killer photo of yourself (that catches their eyes as they are scrolling down page by page). My advise is get in the gym, work out and sculpt your body. It’s all about the physical to get your foot in the door not so much the words. There was a time females loved dick pix (tried and proven very successful) and for whatever reason that time has gone and Woman have evolved past the penis photo. They are no longer impressed. In fact whatever you do DO NOT send a photo of your junk. They will hate you. Keep yourself up to date with the trends of what is acceptable or not, guage the room.

I like your idea about mandatory photos. I know there are so many married men on here who fear being found out - but a married regular of ours has a body pic (no face) which works out fine for him, so there’s no excuse not to have one of any kind.

I do worry about guys saying women want men who are gym sculpted, tall, rich etc etc… it feels almost like some guys ( not you personally) spinning this rhetoric are straying into incel territory and are getting quite resentful of women not choosing them.

It’s also inaccurate. I don’t know any woman who goes for that type.

At the end of the day there is often NO formula beyond ‘have pics which aren’t all cocks, write a decent bio’ . I could scroll down 50 attractive guys and just one silly thing will spark a connection which the guy wouldn’t even realise.

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By *ray_BTWMan
6 weeks ago

Worcester

Tbh, i think its the luck of draw our messages get read, obviously single males are two a penny on here but I always make an effort with messages, never one liners.

Then if by chance your message gets read at least they can see you've made an effort never copy and paste messages, always bespoke to that specific couple/ female.

It appears to work for me, I consider myself successful on here considering im a single guy and im selective in who I message.

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By *arleycplWoman
6 weeks ago

Frodsham

"Tbh, i think its the luck of draw our messages get read, obviously single males are two a penny on here but I always make an effort with messages, never one liners.

Then if by chance your message gets read at least they can see you've made an effort never copy and paste messages, always bespoke to that specific couple/ female.

It appears to work for me, I consider myself successful on here considering im a single guy and im selective in who I message."

I have had 20 messages in the past 2 hours, most were just "Hi" or "what you doing" and had not read my profile

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By *oiluvfunMan
6 weeks ago

Penrith

"Tbh, i think its the luck of draw our messages get read, obviously single males are two a penny on here but I always make an effort with messages, never one liners.

Then if by chance your message gets read at least they can see you've made an effort never copy and paste messages, always bespoke to that specific couple/ female.

It appears to work for me, I consider myself successful on here considering im a single guy and im selective in who I message."

Single males are more like ten a penny in here, and probably more besides….

I’ve not had a new meet through Fab this year. Only two meets last year, three the year before. A female friend of mine has met 9 guys this month so far, another woman local to me has met 7 this month. I cannot get a reply to message full stop.

I rejoined the other site I use to meet ladies on Monday this week. I’m currently chatting with three ladies, including live phone calls, and I have meets in the planning….😉

I know Fab has its peaks and troughs, but I do wonder why I bother with it these days 🤷‍♂️

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By *J-GuyMan
6 weeks ago

Sheffieldshire

Some of it I agree is “luck of the draw” and someone mentioned something “silly” that will stand out and they will click in. Those are exceptions to the rule. If you want replies, even if 90% is rejection, that’s good because you won’t be every one’s cup of tea, you have that 10% to play with that will say yes. However, getting to that point is the trick. I’m not too sure what “incel” is my apologies, however think about sculpting that body, get in gym, clean shaven, no body hair (OMG the effort

! Lol). Also beards… I don’t think most women actually like beards, but I like mine so it’s staying. There are some hard liners I won’t compromise on. I know it’s mostly about looks because when I was body building I had an unreal amount of message. I was sending low effort messages like “hi”, “what you up to”. They were flocking to me, ready to meet me the same day.

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By *yeCatchersCouple
6 weeks ago

Gloucester

Organised socials!! Get seen, get involved. A bit more on your profile would be good, no woman ever 'just asks', they want to get a feel for you before they message, write something witty, you get a woman laughing, you're halfway there. A picture or two helps, as well as being able to accommodate (massive red flag for most ladies if you can't)

Be a regular in the chat room for your area, get on cam, dont need to show face if you dont want to.

Honestly being consistent is the best thing you can do

Mrs E

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By *sm265Woman
5 weeks ago

Perthshire

"Some of it I agree is “luck of the draw” and someone mentioned something “silly” that will stand out and they will click in. Those are exceptions to the rule. If you want replies, even if 90% is rejection, that’s good because you won’t be every one’s cup of tea, you have that 10% to play with that will say yes. However, getting to that point is the trick. I’m not too sure what “incel” is my apologies, however think about sculpting that body, get in gym, clean shaven, no body hair (OMG the effort

Love it when a man claims to know what women want better than women themselves

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By *adbod2015Man
5 weeks ago

Nantwich

I don't have the figures but I would assume that single males are the biggest % of accounts.

Couples and females probably receive a high number of messages so the odds are stacked against you from the beginning as they can't reply to and meet everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

Love it when a man claims to know what women want better than women themselves

Ikr…. Hopefully he’ll soon stop posting in favour of getting himself off to the gym to make himself all buff. Us shallow, muscle-obsessed women won’t look at anyone without a six pack!!! Read and learn 🤣🤣

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
5 weeks ago

South East

"Same club here but I put mine down to age !!"

I’d say profile is a far bigger issue than age

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
5 weeks ago

South East

"It was always tough to get meets. Now though women don't even respond to your message. I know you'll get lots of messages but its just rude isnt it?"

It’s far from rude, I think someone who has put as much effort as you have (none) in to their profile and then expecting a reply is rather rude. Why do you think that someone should reply to you when you’ve made zero effort

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
5 weeks ago

South East

It’s also inaccurate. I don’t know any woman who goes for that type.

Completely agree with everything you said. We don’t look for gym fit blokes, far from it. Also whilst I don’t want to be bombarded with dick pics, having a nice cock is an essential part in our decision to play, so having a couple is essential to us.

Men trying to think that women are a one size fits all approach is the issue. We get so many messages and I would say 99% of them have not read our profile, if more guys took the time and effort to read a profile and send a message showing compatibility, whilst having a profile worth reading themselves, then they would be far more successful.

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
5 weeks ago

South East

"Tbh, i think its the luck of draw our messages get read, obviously single males are two a penny on here but I always make an effort with messages, never one liners.

Then if by chance your message gets read at least they can see you've made an effort never copy and paste messages, always bespoke to that specific couple/ female.

It appears to work for me, I consider myself successful on here considering im a single guy and im selective in who I message.

I have had 20 messages in the past 2 hours, most were just "Hi" or "what you doing" and had not read my profile "

How are you doing

Good thanks, you

What are you up to

Just chilling, you

I’m horny, what are you in to

Read our profile, all is detailed there

No response.

I have this conversation about 15 times a day

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By *eachbums40Couple
5 weeks ago

Midlands

You don't have a profile.

What do you expect??

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By *eachbums40Couple
5 weeks ago

Midlands

"It was always tough to get meets. Now though women don't even respond to your message. I know you'll get lots of messages but its just rude isnt it?

Agree totally.

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By *guys4wivesCouple (MM)
5 weeks ago

Travelling

What makes anyone think they are entitled to a reply .

Got to put effort in and in someway catch the attention of the couple

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By *unnypieWoman
5 weeks ago

Bewdley

Speaking for myself, another vote for having a decent profile. If there's little to no profile, I wont bother replying. Same with boring first messages, conversational foreplay is important.

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By *vaRoseWoman
5 weeks ago

Ankh-Morpork

Most ladies I know will check a profile before even opening a message, and if there is very little to gauge attraction on why would they engage further when there are other messages in their inbox from guys who have made an effort on their profile?

I’m sure when you message someone it’s because you like what you see and read. They are doing the same and with a virtually blank profile you’re not giving them anything to go on.

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By *nigmatic PeachTV/TS
5 weeks ago

Huddersfield

Message received from zero effort profile.

Messaged placed in the bin, think this is what happens most of the time, I would delete from you too as it’s almost a blank profile.

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By *ADYSECRET OF KENTWoman
5 weeks ago

TONBRIDGE ROUNDABOUTS

Single males only

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By *oiluvfunMan
5 weeks ago

Penrith

"Tbh, i think its the luck of draw our messages get read, obviously single males are two a penny on here but I always make an effort with messages, never one liners.

Then if by chance your message gets read at least they can see you've made an effort never copy and paste messages, always bespoke to that specific couple/ female.

It appears to work for me, I consider myself successful on here considering im a single guy and im selective in who I message.

Single males are more like ten a penny in here, and probably more besides….

I rejoined the other site I use to meet ladies on Monday this week. I’m currently chatting with three ladies, including live phone calls, and I have meets in the planning….😉

I know Fab has its peaks and troughs, but I do wonder why I bother with it these days 🤷‍♂️"

To be fair; Fab is THE ONLY contact app of its kind, that single guys can use completely free of charge, at all times. That includes sending, and reading messages.

Every other site punishes men financially, although; I don’t mind paying when it gets me the results I’m looking for 😎

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By *acavityMan
5 weeks ago

Redditch

When someone replies to a message

It lets that person through any filters set up.

It starts a conversation. And if the answer is “no”, often the conversation is the rejected person demanding to know exactly why not, or them releasing a torrent of abuse to make themselves feel better.

So the protocol on this site is no reply is a no thanks

And that is before you ever consider the volume of mail some people get (ladies, learn to use filters and then message those people who are what you are looking for)

Men of Fab, we are in the majority. The bar for a reasonable profile is quite low. A little effort to sell yourself, describe what you can offer (not money or drugs obviously) what you are looking for, and you will be doing better than most people on here. And don’t try to be bland and inoffensive, so your profile doesn’t make anyone reject you. Be Marmite

Some will pass, but others won’t, and you will have more chances than the hundreds of men with the generic profiles

I’m an old chunky chap and I get meets and messages. Mostly down to a well crafted profile.

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By *abulincsCouple
5 weeks ago

near a bridge

In our experience we get several messages from guys that want to meet yet went we post meetings little in way of response

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By *pforloadsoffunMan
5 weeks ago

Southampton

"Oh so its a sense of entitlement ? Sorry my mistake. Lol

Your bio is 5 words long and your photos are set to private. If you put as little effort into your messages as you do your photos, I'm not surprised you're getting no replies."

Brutal but at least helpful 😃👍🏼

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By *icentiousXMan
5 weeks ago

London

I really struggled to understand this message, which might be part of the problem? Work on your communication style perhaps?

Also calling yourself 'backshotking' is going to make you extremely unappealing to vast numbers of people.

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By *acavityMan
5 weeks ago

Redditch

Incel is “INvoluntary CELibate” an American term for guys who can’t get laid. It’s never their fault, but the conspiracy of all women who are behind it.

Rather than working on their social skills, personal hygiene, physical appearance and trying to meet real women, they prefer to lurk on the internet and complain that women don’t turn up on their doorstep and offer to sleep with them.

Most are so deluded that if a woman did do that, and she didn’t look like a movie star (or porn actress) but merely a female version of themselves, they would probably reject her. They think they deserve Scarlett Johanson.

As for beards, body hair, gym fit or dad bod, everyone is attracted to different types. Be yourself, it’s easier.

Go to the gym, get healthy and exercise. But do it for yourself, though if you motivate yourself by believing that you will be more attractive afterwards, be prepared for disappointment. If you struggle attracting women before, a hot body will only help you so much.

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By *pforloadsoffunMan
5 weeks ago

Southampton

"Same club here but I put mine down to age !!

I’d say profile is a far bigger issue than age"

Nope I personally think it is age 100%

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By *igladAndLulahCouple
5 weeks ago

South East

"Same club here but I put mine down to age !!

I’d say profile is a far bigger issue than age

Nope I personally think it is age 100%"

It really isn’t, it’s his profile and approach, I wouldn’t even look at his age before deciding he wasnt for us, due to his profile

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By *um n raisinWoman
5 weeks ago

taunton

op its very simple to explain why most men on this scene will get nothing or very little and oits all down to percentages roughly 100 to 200 men per woman/couple depending on where you live thats the main problem that before attraction and getting on with so,meone..

then add id all the fake women/couples profiles run by just men the add in all the couples where the fem wants it no more or theyve split up and the guy again carries on often with good veris so as you can see the percentages againts men just keeps rising making it impossible for most men

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

"I don't have the figures but I would assume that single males are the biggest % of accounts.

Couples and females probably receive a high number of messages so the odds are stacked against you from the beginning as they can't reply to and meet everyone."

🎯

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By *aandLoCouple
5 weeks ago

Southampton

"Same club here but I put mine down to age !!

I’d say profile is a far bigger issue than age

Nope I personally think it is age 100%"

We didn't even bother to read the profile, all the photos are just cock. So going along with "profile is a far bigger issue."

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By *reolush98Man
5 weeks ago

Manchester

Ladies, I have a question if any of you’s are happy to answer.

So a good well written profile comes a long way, with enough information to grab the viewers attention, enough to tell them who this person is etc..

But from a guys POV how would you consider them to approach a woman who hasn’t written anything on her profile. Yes she has photos of herself but nothing is written.

What would be the correct approach?

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By *harAndBryCouple
5 weeks ago

Downham Market

"Ladies, I have a question if any of you’s are happy to answer.

So a good well written profile comes a long way, with enough information to grab the viewers attention, enough to tell them who this person is etc..

But from a guys POV how would you consider them to approach a woman who hasn’t written anything on her profile. Yes she has photos of herself but nothing is written.

What would be the correct approach?"

We wouldn't even bother. We get, as a percentage of the actual messages from each, FAR more rubbish messages from almost blank profiles from single women and couples than we do from guys.

In our mind, the same effort ought to be put in by all, but there's SO many women and couples seem to think they don't need to try because everyone is looking for them.

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By *omsarah73Couple
5 weeks ago

Suffolk

It’s so so so hard for men stay focused and a meet will come.

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By *aandLoCouple
5 weeks ago

Southampton

Couldn't agree more. There are quite a few minimal effort profiles for couples, and they often send equally minimal effort messages.

We are very equal opportunities in our "delete and block." 🤣

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By *hasingRainbows76Man
5 weeks ago

Newbury

I don’t think it’s that hard as a single male, probably 9 out of 10 msgs go unanswered but I’ve still had a lot of success here over the last year or so and met a lot of women. I think my profile is average, nothing special . Just be normal, don’t send naked pics and don’t start chatting about sex right away . Don’t act like a 16 year old lad, just treat people with respect and who will have more success

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By *naswingdressWoman
5 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Ladies, I have a question if any of you’s are happy to answer.

So a good well written profile comes a long way, with enough information to grab the viewers attention, enough to tell them who this person is etc..

But from a guys POV how would you consider them to approach a woman who hasn’t written anything on her profile. Yes she has photos of herself but nothing is written.

What would be the correct approach?

We wouldn't even bother. We get, as a percentage of the actual messages from each, FAR more rubbish messages from almost blank profiles from single women and couples than we do from guys.

In our mind, the same effort ought to be put in by all, but there's SO many women and couples seem to think they don't need to try because everyone is looking for them."

Agreed. Don't bother.

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By *inkPomPomWoman
5 weeks ago

Isle of Man

Based on your profile I wouldn't message, there isn't enough info and people shouldn't have to pull it out of you

Be clear about who you are and what you're looking for and you might get some traction

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By *hitehorsefunCouple
5 weeks ago

Wantage

"I don’t think it’s that hard as a single male, probably 9 out of 10 msgs go unanswered but I’ve still had a lot of success here over the last year or so and met a lot of women. I think my profile is average, nothing special . Just be normal, don’t send naked pics and don’t start chatting about sex right away . Don’t act like a 16 year old lad, just treat people with respect and who will have more success "

Spot on. However 99% of single men will pay no heed. But that's not our loss

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By *naswingdressWoman
5 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Based on your profile I wouldn't message, there isn't enough info and people shouldn't have to pull it out of you

Be clear about who you are and what you're looking for and you might get some traction "

Agreed. I'm not going to ask. If I don't have an idea from the profile, I'm not going to bother.

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By *udieseMan
5 weeks ago

south shields

exactly this. Everyone knows what they want. I don't bother myself anymore,i mostly meet away from fab, then when you mixed race thats a minus 50 for you .
"Some of it I agree is “luck of the draw” and someone mentioned something “silly” that will stand out and they will click in. Those are exceptions to the rule. If you want replies, even if 90% is rejection, that’s good because you won’t be every one’s cup of tea, you have that 10% to play with that will say yes. However, getting to that point is the trick. I’m not too sure what “incel” is my apologies, however think about sculpting that body, get in gym, clean shaven, no body hair (OMG the effort

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

"exactly this. Everyone knows what they want. I don't bother myself anymore,i mostly meet away from fab, then when you mixed race thats a minus 50 for you ."

😄💯🎯

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By *apleguyMan
5 weeks ago

Livingston

"Hey everyone,

?I’m relatively new here and could really use a bit of perspective from people who already know the ropes.

I find that it’s all down to respect give some compliments but not the “love your tits” open up about yourself and ask about themselfs. Most people fab life is a switch off from real life so as a switch off you need to have some laughs some chemistry and work the room a bit, all women are different but the main thing women want is just respect and an honest conversation to start with. Think of it as chatting up a girl in a bar. I was on this as a couple with my ex and some of the messages were hillarious “hi I’m Dan wanna fuck” honestly if that has ever worked for some1 then fair play! Just need to be respectful complimentative a wee but cheeky and some good banter/chat and then it should just flow and if it doesn’t then there is no connection! It might be a shagging site but for me there has to be a connection and I have to enjoy the person I’m talking to and having a laugh with! Xx

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By *eautifully TwistedWoman
5 weeks ago

Bognor Regis

I chat to a few people but that doesn't mean any meets come from those chats.

It's hard to find people that you actually want to meet not just for men for women too.

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By (user no longer on site)
5 weeks ago

Well written profiles

Good variety of pics

Respectful messages

Its all well and good but the reality of it is its extremeley hard to get a fluid convo going in my opinion let alone a meet. Never vulgar, no weirdness , just building rapport/flirting- has gone nowhere for me. Not gonna change it up too much cuz thats just who I am, but its just my experience. Had more success away from fab, if anything fab has gone against the grain for me in terms of success. No saltiness just facts from my experience. Otherwise I think its just luck of the draw. I read someone said minus 50 for being mixed raced, its minus 50,000 for being a person that looks like me hahah!

On the flipside others have had success, I dont think there is a definitive formula, it just is what it is

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By *oiluvfunMan
4 weeks ago

Penrith

It's hard to find people that you actually want to meet not just for men for women too. "

I have a woman on my hotlist, she’s met 18 men through May alone. She’s on her way to Benidorm for a week, and already prompting men to turn on their location for Fab, so she can meet while she’s away. God forbid she might go a week without a meet…..

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By *eroLondonMan
4 weeks ago

Mayfair

It's hard to find people that you actually want to meet not just for men for women too.

•

Pssst! 👁️👁️ I'll let you into a secret: she's a swinger. Good for her. I suppose, alternatively, she could have had 18 men in an all day gangbang. But I suspect no one would bat an eyelid for that one.

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By *hoenixmanMan
4 weeks ago

Faversham

Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but.... it's ALWAYS been this way. I started in the lifestyle in 1985 (yes, honestly) when there was no internet - I was VERY lucky and had a relationship with someone who was being invited to parties left, right and centre (lucky me!)

The stark statistics are against you as a single male looking to get meets through a site. At my great age (can't believe I'm the age I am!) I don't even bother looking for them on Fabs - I'm on another paid-for site which has always been very productive for me - but at a cost. It's not cheap, let's just say that. But it is that 'filtering' (ie. if you can't afford to be on there, you ain't gettin' in) that makes it all the more easy to get meets that way.

Maybe ... and it is only a maybe ... you could try to find a swinging partner - especially to go to clubs as a lot of ladies feel safer going with someone - and go down that route.

Otherwise, it's gonna be a long and frustrating journey my friend.....

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By *isitingbiMan
4 weeks ago

London

Get over the fact most will not reply. Show on your profile what you like and are looking for, in more than one sentence and words of one syllable. The same with messaging. Read other people's profiles!!! No dick picks. Have decent pics on profile. Develope a thick skin and lose any sense of entitlement. Approach people as you would in real life. Deal with it. And did I mention no dick pics and reading profiles?

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By *oiluvfunMan
4 weeks ago

Penrith

It's hard to find people that you actually want to meet not just for men for women too.

•

Yes Nero; she’s a swinger. On a swingers’ site in possession of what 70% of the site users are looking for; a vagina.

Update; she’s met two guys in Benidorm so far this week. Lucky them! Proves at least one woman in Fab answers messages, and goes on to meet some guys…..👍

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By *essTTWoman
4 weeks ago

Birmingham

Its difficult for everyone to get a meet to be completely honest

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By *rectus HumongusMan
4 weeks ago

uranus

Not sure uf there is a list of Frequently asked questions covering in this instance single men.

For example something like the general ratio of men to women, and advise the men to look at profiles where the bloke had had some success on here.

Just think if people read it might reduce this topic coming up as often.

And folk repeating the same advice each time.

Luck is the only way initially if you come across someone who reciprocates the attempt to get a conversation.

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By *rectus HumongusMan
4 weeks ago

uranus

"It was always tough to get meets. Now though women don't even respond to your message. I know you'll get lots of messages but its just rude isnt it?

Not responding is no more rude than thinking you're entitled to a reply."

Well said.

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By *naswingdressWoman
4 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Not sure uf there is a list of Frequently asked questions covering in this instance single men.

For example something like the general ratio of men to women, and advise the men to look at profiles where the bloke had had some success on here.

Just think if people read it might reduce this topic coming up as often.

And folk repeating the same advice each time.

Luck is the only way initially if you come across someone who reciprocates the attempt to get a conversation."

It won't help. People argue against "delete without reply means no thank you", even though it's in the FAQ.

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By *eekaboo BellyMan
4 weeks ago

Bradford

People just do not meet. More than likely you get no response from your messages, even if you're responding to theirs or a wink.

If you actually manage to get a conversation going and arrange a meet, they will 100% ghost you on the day.

It is a complete waste of time trying to arrange anything. Best to not get your hopes up

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By *naswingdressWoman
4 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"People just do not meet. More than likely you get no response from your messages, even if you're responding to theirs or a wink.

If you actually manage to get a conversation going and arrange a meet, they will 100% ghost you on the day.

It is a complete waste of time trying to arrange anything. Best to not get your hopes up"

You shouldn't extrapolate your experience to everyone's experience.

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By *eekaboo BellyMan
4 weeks ago

Bradford

"People just do not meet. More than likely you get no response from your messages, even if you're responding to theirs or a wink.

If you actually manage to get a conversation going and arrange a meet, they will 100% ghost you on the day.

It is a complete waste of time trying to arrange anything. Best to not get your hopes up

You shouldn't extrapolate your experience to everyone's experience."

Am I supposed to believe different when that is literally all that happens and you even see others saying as such? Only a very small minority actually meet

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By *aandLoCouple
4 weeks ago

Southampton

"People just do not meet. More than likely you get no response from your messages, even if you're responding to theirs or a wink.

If you actually manage to get a conversation going and arrange a meet, they will 100% ghost you on the day.

It is a complete waste of time trying to arrange anything. Best to not get your hopes up"

We've met people via FAB; for private meets, at parties and at clubs.

In fact we have met with the same sexy guy a few times recently, and hopefully will continue to meet him.

But, we have also ceased chatting with quite a few guys who we find aren't on our wavelength, and ignored messages from guys who clearly haven't bothered to read our profile.

Your experience isn't everyone's.

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By *naswingdressWoman
4 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"People just do not meet. More than likely you get no response from your messages, even if you're responding to theirs or a wink.

If you actually manage to get a conversation going and arrange a meet, they will 100% ghost you on the day.

It is a complete waste of time trying to arrange anything. Best to not get your hopes up

You shouldn't extrapolate your experience to everyone's experience.

Am I supposed to believe different when that is literally all that happens and you even see others saying as such? Only a very small minority actually meet"

When I look in my local updates, I see lots and lots of verifications going up. There are lots of clubs, which can't be cheap to run and keep on going.

These are things anyone can see just by looking at this site. The fact that some people struggle to meet does not mean that people do not meet.

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By *eekaboo BellyMan
4 weeks ago

Bradford

"People just do not meet. More than likely you get no response from your messages, even if you're responding to theirs or a wink.

If you actually manage to get a conversation going and arrange a meet, they will 100% ghost you on the day.

It is a complete waste of time trying to arrange anything. Best to not get your hopes up

We've met people via FAB; for private meets, at parties and at clubs.

In fact we have met with the same sexy guy a few times recently, and hopefully will continue to meet him.

But, we have also ceased chatting with quite a few guys who we find aren't on our wavelength, and ignored messages from guys who clearly haven't bothered to read our profile.

Your experience isn't everyone's."

The amount of people who I have had good conversations with, not talking just about six, for weeks or months and they suggest to meet. So I agree and we decide on a place and date to meet, then I get ghosted on the day and a message 3 days after asking if I want to meet is ridiculous

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By *eekaboo BellyMan
4 weeks ago

Bradford

Also noticed it's a woman and a couple saying they're having no issues meeting. Wonder why

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By *oy4women2Man
4 weeks ago

Biggleswade

It is hard to find a meet, too many men bombarded women with messages and they can't go through them all, and most of them messages are just rude and abusive, so I don't blame women not wanting to reply back, it's just ruining it for the rest of us

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By *eroLondonMan
4 weeks ago

Mayfair

"Also noticed it's a woman and a couple saying they're having no issues meeting. Wonder why"

•

Because men are modest creatures and have no reason to wax lyrical about their successes on here. 🩶

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By *naswingdressWoman
4 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Also noticed it's a woman and a couple saying they're having no issues meeting. Wonder why"

You said "everyone".

You are drawing from your experience, which is not universal. It's not even universal to single men.

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By *essTTWoman
4 weeks ago

Birmingham

"It was always tough to get meets. Now though women don't even respond to your message. I know you'll get lots of messages but its just rude isnt it?"

How does a woman replying to your message change your experience on here?

Would receiving 50 messages saying "no thanks, not for me" be better than having 50 messages deleted?

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By *cnugatugMan
4 weeks ago

Chatham

Just how things work dude some days Solo guy can get a load of attention and other days nothing sometimes they can go weeks without a response trust me I've been on here for a few years now and there's no quick fix dude it's just luck and finding the right people can't give you advice because you've not asked it's just luck of the draw remember there's a million single fellas on here all like you the odds aren't in anyone's favor

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By *eekaboo BellyMan
4 weeks ago

Bradford

"Also noticed it's a woman and a couple saying they're having no issues meeting. Wonder why

You said "everyone".

You are drawing from your experience, which is not universal. It's not even universal to single men."

Okay not everyone just the overwhelming majority

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By *eekaboo BellyMan
4 weeks ago

Bradford

"Also noticed it's a woman and a couple saying they're having no issues meeting. Wonder why

You said "everyone".

You are drawing from your experience, which is not universal. It's not even universal to single men.

Okay not everyone just the overwhelming majority "

Actually I didn't even say everyone. I said people

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By *cnugatugMan
4 weeks ago

Chatham

Zero effort gets zero results

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By *WB85Man
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

I wonder if anyone that moans listens to the feedback and changes their approach.

When i started I made two main mistakes.

1) I had expectations....you need to lose them to avoid any dissapointment.

2) The copy and paste message. You can tell it a mile off. Read the profile and if you genuinely think its a match, make your message personal. Find a way to refer to something that shows you have read the profile.

Good luck all.

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By *harAndBryCouple
4 weeks ago

Downham Market

"Find a way to refer to something that shows you have read the profile. "

Flipping this, there's a LOT of profiles out there that are so bland it's almost impossible to find something to hook a conversation to.

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By *WB85Man
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

"Find a way to refer to something that shows you have read the profile.

Flipping this, there's a LOT of profiles out there that are so bland it's almost impossible to find something to hook a conversation to."

I absolutely agree with this point.

Those profiles don't get a message.

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By *eroLondonMan
4 weeks ago

Mayfair

"Find a way to refer to something that shows you have read the profile.

Flipping this, there's a LOT of profiles out there that are so bland it's almost impossible to find something to hook a conversation to.

I absolutely agree with this point.

Those profiles don't get a message. "

•

Agreed. Why on earth would one even engage with a profile that offers nothing of substance?

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By *aandLoCouple
4 weeks ago

Southampton

We find that with reading male profiles.

It's why I rarely send a first message. I can literally look at pages and pages of profiles, and either the bland/non existent bio, plus relentless dick pics mean I give up on the idea.

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By *andsomeChap 79Man
4 weeks ago

Cheshire

You say that however, most of the women’s profiles I see state no attached or married men. So its very confusing and soul destroying being continually ignored, blocked or overlooked.

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By *weetSmellingSamTV/TS
4 weeks ago

Consett

Reading my bio will definitely get my interest aswell as face pics and info on what you’re looking for, be confident and always state honestly what you’re looking for x

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By *naswingdressWoman
4 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"You say that however, most of the women’s profiles I see state no attached or married men. So its very confusing and soul destroying being continually ignored, blocked or overlooked."

Everyone is entitled to want/not want what anything they want to.

No one is entitled to match with someone.

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By *naswingdressWoman
4 weeks ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Find a way to refer to something that shows you have read the profile.

Flipping this, there's a LOT of profiles out there that are so bland it's almost impossible to find something to hook a conversation to.

I absolutely agree with this point.

Those profiles don't get a message. "

Indeed. It's one reason why I send so few messages (my filters are closed to new messages).

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By *aandLoCouple
4 weeks ago

Southampton

"You say that however, most of the women’s profiles I see state no attached or married men. So its very confusing and soul destroying being continually ignored, blocked or overlooked."

I am a bit confused about your comment. Are you asking us to feel sorry for the confused, overlooked married men cheating on their wives? Or a reference to those who won't play with attached men regardless of whether it's with their partner's permission?

Either way everyone has preferences and that is their right. Whether you agree with those preferences is irrelevant I'm afraid.

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By *WB85Man
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

"Find a way to refer to something that shows you have read the profile.

Flipping this, there's a LOT of profiles out there that are so bland it's almost impossible to find something to hook a conversation to.

I absolutely agree with this point.

Those profiles don't get a message.

Indeed. It's one reason why I send so few messages (my filters are closed to new messages)."

Thats a good thing though. You know what a you're looking for and aren't in a rush to just meet with anyone.

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By *essTTWoman
4 weeks ago

Birmingham

"You say that however, most of the women’s profiles I see state no attached or married men. So its very confusing and soul destroying being continually ignored, blocked or overlooked."

Local man discovers women are allowed preferences

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By *eroLondonMan
4 weeks ago

Mayfair

"You say that however, most of the women’s profiles I see state no attached or married men. So its very confusing and soul destroying being continually ignored, blocked or overlooked."

•

I don't think you've fully grasped how preferences work on here. Some women have no preference to meet married men. That doesn't mean that all the remaining 'single' men are now automatically eligible. Other factors also come into it: their conduct (on here), their profile text, attraction, their photos, the messages that they send... ...

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