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"Life is to short if you aren’t happy at home and you have an opportunity to move on and enjoy something new then go with your gut and enjoy life. Might be the best for you both(you and the wife) " thank you, wife wise, love is gone it's a functional relationship now but kids | |||
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"Life is to short if you aren’t happy at home and you have an opportunity to move on and enjoy something new then go with your gut and enjoy life. Might be the best for you both(you and the wife) thank you, wife wise, love is gone it's a functional relationship now but kids " Kids will understand, they probably already get things aren’t happy and either of you is in a good place. You will probably be surprised how resilient kids are, give them the love and let them know no matter what happens you will always be there. | |||
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"Life is to short if you aren’t happy at home and you have an opportunity to move on and enjoy something new then go with your gut and enjoy life. Might be the best for you both(you and the wife) thank you, wife wise, love is gone it's a functional relationship now but kids Kids will understand, they probably already get things aren’t happy and either of you is in a good place. You will probably be surprised how resilient kids are, give them the love and let them know no matter what happens you will always be there. " Very true, would really hate myself putting them through it though and my wife hasn't done anything wrong just not there anymore | |||
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"You're giving all the reasons not to leave your family so stay put until the children are independent and make your mind up then. " sounds sensible, mortgage will be paid off then too | |||
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"Please no haters here. Married 18 years, sex life static to stay the least, it has never been amazing, quite boring some might say normal, I've recently met a woman at work, affair started, she is incredible, sexually incredible, hot, open minded, but also a nice good person, the type I wish I met 18 years ago ! What to do !?" Only you know what to do. I'd certainly consider when to discuss this major event with your wife, she deserves better than you trawling around swingers sites and your new lady may not be too pleased you are on here too. The major problem on here, is we only hear your side of the story. Kids are very resilient, as long as you shower them with love, interest and time, they will do fine. Time for you to get off FAB and start having conversations. Good luck. | |||
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"Thank you, I know everyone is different but why is it my affair enjoys and wants sex with me yet my wife doesn't I'm not ugly, give lots of pleasure, certainly not a selfish lover !!" The answer to that is very simple yet complex. Apologies for the comparison, but it's one that I think is going to illustrate the issue best. Your wife of 18 years is like a pair of old, trusty boots. You've been through a lot together, they might be rather worn out, but definitely very well used and comfortable. You're not excited any more to be wearing them, but they are your "go to" for comfort, even if you wouldn't wear them as much in public. Your lover is a shiny new pair of boots, fresh off the shelf. You're very excited about them, want to wear them as much as possible even if they're not always that comfortable, might be pinching somewhere or giving you blisters. But they're new, shiny, have not been through 18 years together, of life's ups and downs. Do you get my point, OP? Plus, for women, at certain age we go through a massive hormonal shift that changes us, a lot. Maybe that's what your wife is going through? | |||
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"Thank you, I know everyone is different but why is it my affair enjoys and wants sex with me yet my wife doesn't I'm not ugly, give lots of pleasure, certainly not a selfish lover !!" Probably because you treat her like a girlfriend and don't take her for granted. | |||
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"Please no haters here. Married 18 years, sex life static to stay the least, it has never been amazing, quite boring some might say normal, I've recently met a woman at work, affair started, she is incredible, sexually incredible, hot, open minded, but also a nice good person, the type I wish I met 18 years ago ! What to do !?" Can I ask; is your lover also married, and playing away, or is she a single lady? | |||
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"Maybe your wife is enjoying an affair of her own and thats why she doesnt want you. " now that I would find hot though | |||
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"Thank you, I know everyone is different but why is it my affair enjoys and wants sex with me yet my wife doesn't I'm not ugly, give lots of pleasure, certainly not a selfish lover !! The answer to that is very simple yet complex. Apologies for the comparison, but it's one that I think is going to illustrate the issue best. Your wife of 18 years is like a pair of old, trusty boots. You've been through a lot together, they might be rather worn out, but definitely very well used and comfortable. You're not excited any more to be wearing them, but they are your "go to" for comfort, even if you wouldn't wear them as much in public. Your lover is a shiny new pair of boots, fresh off the shelf. You're very excited about them, want to wear them as much as possible even if they're not always that comfortable, might be pinching somewhere or giving you blisters. But they're new, shiny, have not been through 18 years together, of life's ups and downs. Do you get my point, OP? Plus, for women, at certain age we go through a massive hormonal shift that changes us, a lot. Maybe that's what your wife is going through?" Sage advice. Maybe OP should try sitting his wife down. Lean against his fireplace, pipe in hand and say something like... "My dear, we've been together for some years, had good, bad and mediocre times but now I only think of you as a pair of trusty old boots." Sure that will help. 🤣🤣 | |||
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"Speak to your partner about your thoughts and feelings. If they are not receptive, leave." already know they won't be receptive, she finds the thought of masturbation, wrong !!! | |||
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"Speak to your partner about your thoughts and feelings. If they are not receptive, leave. already know they won't be receptive, she finds the thought of masturbation, wrong !!!" How well did you know each other before you got together? | |||
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"Please no haters here. Married 18 years, sex life static to stay the least, it has never been amazing, quite boring some might say normal, I've recently met a woman at work, affair started, she is incredible, sexually incredible, hot, open minded, but also a nice good person, the type I wish I met 18 years ago ! What to do !?" Leave …… children would rather have two happy parents separated than a “functional” home. You’re teaching your children the wrong values in life. They’d rather a happy Dad, and chances are, your wife is already well aware | |||
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"I was similar at 40, something of a mid life crisis and decided it would be best to leave. I think it was the right thing. Tough at time for my kids but they are happy and successful so all good there. My Ex wife found someone new that is very well off and she seems very comfortable. I had to totally rebuild my finances. I literally had less than nothing LOL so be prepared to work harder than ever if you decide to leave. Mrs luckily saw the potential in me LOL and we've had a great life together since. New partners carry can carry massive amounts of baggage I do warn you. She does carry one massive bag, Her ex husband committed suicide and one of her kids struggles as a result. Time does heal, of that I am 100% sure. " p.s. If you do decide to leave Look after you kids no matter what. Make sure they get all the love and financial support they need and try to be as amicable as possible with your wife. The kids are the No.1 priority. I started off being unreasonable but after 2 weeks decided that was too exhausting made me feel bad and we became friendly again and sorted things out as quickly and cleanly as we could. | |||
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"Thank you, I know everyone is different but why is it my affair enjoys and wants sex with me yet my wife doesn't I'm not ugly, give lots of pleasure, certainly not a selfish lover !!" Perhaps because she is so busy raising kids, running a household and carrying the mental load for the whole family? Perhaps she is absolutely exhausted and feels totally taken for granted? Perhaps she knows youve had a fab profile for more than a year? Did you ever consider asking her about it? Asking what you could do to help her? Put effort into trying to rekindle those feelings? | |||
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"What does this other woman want ? " Obviously I don't know the woman but I guess it's a man unencumbered by his work day, attentive, loving, concentrating on her and their relationship, complimentary and happy to listen. Laughs at her jokes, is never irritable and always affectionate. Doesn't complain about the gas bill or that he's tired. All the things that if you're not really careful disappear in a long term relationship but are easy to find with someone who you meet occasionally for sex and worry free dates. Oh and probably not to be referred to as 'my affair' | |||
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"Thank you, I know everyone is different but why is it my affair enjoys and wants sex with me yet my wife doesn't I'm not ugly, give lots of pleasure, certainly not a selfish lover !! Perhaps because she is so busy raising kids, running a household and carrying the mental load for the whole family? Perhaps she is absolutely exhausted and feels totally taken for granted? Perhaps she knows youve had a fab profile for more than a year? Did you ever consider asking her about it? Asking what you could do to help her? Put effort into trying to rekindle those feelings? " Maybe I carry most of this burden, I clean the whole house, do school runs, club, cook every day | |||
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"Please no haters here. Married 18 years, sex life static to stay the least, it has never been amazing, quite boring some might say normal, I've recently met a woman at work, affair started, she is incredible, sexually incredible, hot, open minded, but also a nice good person, the type I wish I met 18 years ago ! What to do !?" Think you have the answer in the first part of the post ... My question is it just the sexual side or are you not still in love with your wife ? If not do both of you a favour and move on. | |||
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"If the wife isn’t up for any sexual activity, you are well within your rights to have the conversation regarding why exactly this is. You are also within your rights to state if this sexless state continues, a lack of sex is an important enough issue to you that you will find staying in the relationship untenable on this basis unless she changes her attitude or is prepared to let you find your sexual release elsewhere. Have the frank conversation (as sensitively as possible!) and DO NOT tell her about the affair at this point. Good luck." thank you x | |||
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