FabSwingers.com forum: Fwb advice

By *otshot14 OP Woman
4 weeks ago

tunbridge wells

Ladies just need some advice.

I always take my time getting to know an fwb,last one I made him wait 4 months,mostly coz of my work,

The problem I have is once I have sex,this one is on 3 times,last one when on for 8 months.

The bloody feelings come out,I need a connection of some sort to have great sex.

How to stop getting the feelings,and when should I walk away,as I know there playing me.

The sex I've had has been so fucking horny that it's a bit like a drug.

Either fwb don't work for me,or I need to work out how to get my feelings under control.

Any advice would be good thanks.

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By *ellinever70Woman
4 weeks ago

Ayrshire

What's the ploblem?

You feel things, it's human

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

East Sussex

I'm not the best person to answer this because I couldn't have a FWB or FB arrangement. If I was having sex with someone over a period of time it would be because I had feelings for them and I would want it to be recognised by both of us as a proper relationship. It sounds to me as if you're similar.

Stopping yourself having feelings in order to have sex isn't something I'd recommend really even if it was possible. Maybe recognise that developing feelings for somebody you're sharing your body with is natural and if one of those feelings is that you're being played it's time to stop

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By *heitaliandreamerMan
4 weeks ago

Northampton

I had the same situation...a fwb thing turned into crush for both of us but at one point we managed to bring everything under control by going distant. Detaching and no contact is a good things to balance the situation again

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By *hLookItsThemTwoCouple
4 weeks ago

In That Village

I think you've said it yourself there, you need a connection to have sex with someone (or to do it again and again).

I'll probably get shot down in flames for this but I personally think the majority of women are the same and we're just wired differently to men. Different hormones, even those released during sex differ.

Could you push your boundary and choose someone for sex that you don't feel a major attraction/connection to in the first place? 😈 use him for purely for physical sex back.

I've never felt a connection when we've been playing with people off here, and I'm quite certain I would want to avoid it if I did as I'm not willing to put any strain or risk on our relationship.

So my mentality and kick I get from what me & Mr do here is actually all about him in my mind. A naughty experience we share together knowing it's turning him on watching me with someone, which then turns me on etc. And vice versa I enjoy watching him too. We go into it with that mindset.

Appreciate it's little different as a single female though. Have you considered joining couples purely for the sexual experiences, instead of a fwb?

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By *otshot14 OP Woman
4 weeks ago

tunbridge wells

Thanks ladies,think I will look at these answers carefully and consider what I want.

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By *herrybakewellCouple
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Were all human and a fwb scenario can bring out feelings.

Clear communication between you both is vital. If someone struggles to communicate, then it often ends badly...which is a shame.

I know people say that sex doesn't need to bring feelings, but in my opinion....if its the right person, it will do.

I hope you figure it out OP.

Mr.

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By *enAndJadeCouple
4 weeks ago

Somerton

I can only say from my own experience.. but I have bpd so an absolute excess of emotions, and a tendency to get intense with people. I deal with it generally by having more than one fwb at a time - I can’t get too attached then. Also the encounters tend to be quicker and more like a fuck than anything too intimate.

The other thing which has been said before is to pick people who you don’t emotionally connect with too much or who aren’t your standard type. These things work for me. Good luck! J xx

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By *erdyguy45Man
4 weeks ago

Solihull/milton keynes & other

"I think you've said it yourself there, you need a connection to have sex with someone (or to do it again and again).

Could you push your boundary and choose someone for sex that you don't feel a major attraction/connection to in the first place? 😈 use him for purely for physical sex back.

I've never felt a connection when we've been playing with people off here, and I'm quite certain I would want to avoid it if I did as I'm not willing to put any strain or risk on our relationship.

Appreciate it's little different as a single female though. Have you considered joining couples purely for the sexual experiences, instead of a fwb? "

I don't think it's just a women thing.

I need a connection with someone for sex too.

When I have tried without that I find I don't enjoy it as much and a bit empty.

And yes I have started to feel things on the past and have had to put an end to it, sometimes short term but other times a complete stop due to my situation.

I do need to get a proper handle on it I think but good to know it's not just me.

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By *ve_GardenWoman
4 weeks ago

York

I’m probably the wrong person to answer this, but I’ll give it a go anyway.

I met a fwb many moons ago (from here), we ended up married with a child, now happily divorced with no drama.

You’re probably building up the friendship level too much by waiting so long, in which case, feelings will occur because you’ll care for them as a friend.

There’s no harm developing feelings if they’re mutual, and even if they’re not, you’re only human. But perhaps if it’s happening time and time again, a fwb arrangement isn’t the best way for you to proceed.

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By *ina678Woman
4 weeks ago

None

I think it's so hard to say what makes a situation work and what doesn't.

I'm coming up to a year with my FWB who I met here. We get on well, but don't chat about everything as you would with a close friend or lover. We talk openly about what we like and need etc. Have great sex (of course) but are both comfortable with the situation as it is and (as far as I'm aware) there aren't feelings involved.

I have had other meets/ dates in that time where feelings have very much been involved so know where you're coming from. I can't say what the difference is, just that it is possible...

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