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Dom programme

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By *appylarry20 OP   Man
8 weeks ago

NW

If you were to meet a couple and act as their Dom for the meet, what programme of activities would you run through with them? Or what activities would you have on hand as the mood shifts? Not thinking about bondage, just easy/gentle things to implement with a loving couple. Thanks.

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By *ourpornfixMan
8 weeks ago

East Cheshire

It would depend a lot on what sort of relationship was being considered. For example, is the man bi? Do the couple already have a Ds orientation towards each other? Cucking or humiliation? Diff'rent folks, diff'rent strokes.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
8 weeks ago

East Sussex

My programme would start long before the meet. I'd discuss with both of them the direction they wanted our meet to take and how far they wanted it to go. If I was happy and comfortable with their ideas and they mine I'd plan some 'activities' around them

Do they enjoy direction, mild humiliation, being sexual with you or each other, having to perform tasks, wear certain clothing, serving you in various ways?

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By *uliette500Woman
8 weeks ago

Hull

Hopefully you would have fully discussed this with them first so you know their limits and boundaries. With this in mind nobody can say what they would or would not include.

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By *otPoshorBecksCouple
8 weeks ago

London

Any type of Domination or Ds play would require all parties to vet one another. There is a lot to consider in this dynamic and the level of experience from everyone involved needs to be considered xx

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
8 weeks ago

Carlisle usually

A programme? Christ I don't even have a set lost for regulars, nevermind trying to make a one size fits all standard set up.

Talk, communicate, negotiate. No DS dynamic should occur without all parties giving informed and enthusiastic consent and input on the plan, which should always be completely able to be renegotiated during if anyone discovers they don't enjoy it in context 💜

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By *appylarry20 OP   Man
8 weeks ago

NW

Thanks for all the excellent advise everyone.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
8 weeks ago

Utero

Would this be your first time as a Dom?

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By *ond Jimmy BondMan
8 weeks ago

London

I’d discuss limits more than a full program! Otherwise it would feel like it’s acted out. A Dom/ Sub relationship is a very intense deep thing but it’s can’t be overly planned. It’s about trust. A Dom should still make the lady feel safe, but surprises within the discussed limits is part of the excitement

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By *uliette500Woman
8 weeks ago

Hull

The other thing to be aware of OP is boundaries need discussing on a regular basis, things change.

I have been meeting with my Dom for 7 years we still cover boundaries regularly. There are thing we do now that we wouldn't have done at the start because I trust him more now and we know each other better.

There are also sometimes where I or he will say at the start of our scene "I dont want to do this or that today" or I am not comfortable with x y or z this time"

And dont forget the Dom is allowed their boundaries too. It works both ways.

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By *tlanshiaWoman
8 weeks ago

Chatham

Orgasm restrictions are a good start.

But without knowing them, what they're into and what's negotiated it's hard to make a 'plan' as such.

People who don't understand that are dangerous to play with.

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By *ond Jimmy BondMan
8 weeks ago

London


"The other thing to be aware of OP is boundaries need discussing on a regular basis, things change.

I have been meeting with my Dom for 7 years we still cover boundaries regularly. There are thing we do now that we wouldn't have done at the start because I trust him more now and we know each other better.

There are also sometimes where I or he will say at the start of our scene "I dont want to do this or that today" or I am not comfortable with x y or z this time"

And dont forget the Dom is allowed their boundaries too. It works both ways. "

Well said x

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By *rimals at PlayCouple
6 weeks ago

Manchester

Sounds like an 18-30 rep rather than a Dom lol

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By *heTattooedDomMan
6 weeks ago

Winnersh

Here is a rough list of the sort of negotiations / questions I will tend to go through.

1. I won’t do blindfolds, gags, restraints, insertable or wands on a first play. Unless it is something specific you want, I have known you for a while before play and we have a chaperone.

2. If sex is involved, always safe sex and share latest test results.

3. Don’t call me daddy.

4. Traffic light safe words

5. What do you want to experience.

6. What are your hard limits.

7. What does aftercare look like for you.

8. Do you go non verbal in subspace / quiet during play.

9. Any medical conditions I should be aware of (including implants etc).

10. Parts of the body that are off limits.

11. Any actions / words that might be triggering.

12. Any of my toys you do not want me to use.

13. Some type of contact details for a couple of post play check ins.

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By *nderMyGuidanceMan
6 weeks ago

Manchester

I certainly dont have a program but do have years of experience and it is important that trust is built, there is a mutual understanding of limits and desire and a safe word.

I find BDSM play is more about the mental connection and trust to push limits than the pain element people often associate with it.

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By *lan157Man
6 weeks ago

a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex

There is lots of good advice here OP. Just one thing I will add. There is a tendancy to go into so much detail before hand that a woman can change her mind about meeting before you actually meet . That's perhaps more true about non DS play but it's something to be aware of. The more you write the chances of saying something that is misunderstood increases . Yes you must be clear about what is wanted and where the boundaries are ( at least initially as if successful they may change ) to get started but don't try to go through everything as if it's happening in real time. My other advice is to make each session subtlety different from previous sessions. Add new sensations and drop some previous ones as you explore together . In that way more will be revealed to you about her desires and what works.It's a fascinating and rewarding journey .

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