FabSwingers.com forum: Help wanted

By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

So we are new to this been off and on sites for a while. Been on here for 5 weeks is there something wrong with my profile any advice.x

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By *etro manMan
9 weeks ago

manchester

Hello what kind of help I can only say try a swingers club meeting chat and relax watching people

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By *issmorganWoman
9 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Hi op, our profile is a bit confusing. You've written I am looking for, yet it's a couples profile.

You're after one of the most sought after people on here though ie bi fems. Most couples are looking for that elusive ffm too op.

So you need to offer them something that makes them want to meet you, over all the other couples in their inbox.

It's not easy as there has to be an attraction to you both too, if you're both involved.

Clubs seem to be an easier way to meet bi ladies from what I've seen on other threads like this.

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

Thank you will have a look

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

Thank you we will look more into club

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By *ull of PuddinWoman
9 weeks ago

isle of munters

Nice to see a couples profile with both of you in, plus lovely to see smiling faces

Maybe expand on what you mean by experiment? A lot of women might read that as they are just a plaything

Maybe add your non sexual interests to find some common ground

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

Thank you very much appreciated for your advice we will change our profile

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By *eautyandthebeast86Couple
9 weeks ago

Somewhere in Norfolk ask :)

We think you have lovely photos and profile and if you were nearer we would have messaged x

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

Thank you much appreciated these sites are just so confusing Im already confused 😉

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By *herrybakewellCouple
9 weeks ago

Staffordshire

The best advice i can give is this.

As a couple looking for a unicorn, put yourself in the other ladies shoes.

What would you want to read in a profile? What would make you feel wanted and what would encourage you to message.

It doesn't happen over night, you'll need patience.

Also, many clubs have couples and single lady only events. It might be a good way to get out and meet people.

Mr.

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

Thanks for the advice we are just writing a new profile now. Mr

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By *ickD80Man
9 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

You have 2 pictures of you together but they’re obviously both taken almost at the same time because the background and clothes are exactly the same, and the picture you have of the female is just a close up of one of the pictures of you together. This would be a serious red flag for me, if you’re a real couple you would have a more varied selection of pictures to choose from and you wouldn’t need to zoom in and crop a picture of you together to get a picture of the female on her own. It gives the impression that a man has taken a couple of selfies with the woman he was sat next to in the pub…..

Also, it’s all about the eyes, you’re not a tits or ass man….seriously???? There isn’t a straight man on this planet who doesn’t like tits OR ass…i mean, some men describe themselves as a tits man but that just means they prefer tits to ass, it doesn’t mean they don’t like ass. Absolutely ridiculous that you claim to not like tits or ass. Another red flag…

If you really are a couple looking for a single, bi woman then you’re trying to attract someone who can have their pick of pretty much every couple’s profile on here so they will be extremely selective. Anything that appears remotely suspicious will put them off….using a cropped picture of you together as a picture of just the female and claiming that the male doesn’t like tits or ass will surely put anyone off…

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By *ull of PuddinWoman
9 weeks ago

isle of munters

OP, I can see you've made the effort to update and it's great.

Theres always room for more great photos

Keep it going and good luck

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

Obviously that’s your opinion I have my preferences don’t care about big tits small tits or big ass or peachy ass obviously Im a guy they are all fun. I don’t objectify women simple nothing wrong with old morals 👍🏻 happy fabbing .mick

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

Thank you just need to sort out some new photos soon .x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
9 weeks ago

Central

You can take pressure off, by making improvements as you progress. It's never going to be 100% the perfect, finished product

. It's great that you're asking and listening. People will generally mean very well and wish you the best

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By *ickD80Man
9 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

"Obviously that’s your opinion I have my preferences don’t care about big tits small tits or big ass or peachy ass obviously Im a guy they are all fun. I don’t objectify women simple nothing wrong with old morals 👍🏻 happy fabbing .mick "

So if ‘they are all fun’ you mean that you don’t have any preferences regarding tits and ass, you like them all? Because that’s not the same as not being a tits or ass man.

So you think that it’s bad morals to like tits and/or ass and to have a preference of either? Having a preference isn’t something anyone can control, good morals is choosing to do the right thing when you have a choice between good and bad, preferring big tits to small tits isn’t bad morals because it’s an natural preference rather than a choice, and liking them isn’t a bad or unkind thing anyway.

Liking tits and/or ass isn’t objectifying women either, treating women differently because they have tits and ass or ignoring everything else about them other than their tits or ass is…..saying it’s all about the eyes is objectifying women by the way, just because you’re referring to a non sexual body part it doesn’t make it ok, objectifying a woman means to overlook their personality and focus only on their physical appearance….that can be tits, ass or eyes.

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

So preferring a woman’s eyes is objectifying them don't be daft not going to sit and argue with you I have my opinions and preferences and you have yours .and we do have loads of photos of our faces but they are private and not public to stop photo Collectors taking them and they are for people we are interested in not some dafty looking through profiles for dirties and a least we have our faces up and not hiding. Please find something else to do or someone else to bug that would be great thanks . Stay safe and Happy fabbing mick

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By *sm265Woman
9 weeks ago

Perthshire

No idea as I cannot view your profile, but based on some other comments on this thread , it does sound as if there may be a few red flags.

When I am looking for new couples to meet I much prefer to do it via an organised group social event. It is much easier to get an idea of who they are, what their personalities are like and whether there is a physical attraction. There are far too many profiles that are purely written to appeal to as wide an audience as possible and dont genuinely represent the couple behind the profile.

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

Apologies, you should be able to see our profile now x

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By *eautifully TwistedWoman
9 weeks ago

Telford

I myself as a bi female much prefer to come across couples in clubs.

I find on fab it's typically the male messaging. Everytime I've come across a couple that I thought would be fun the guy ruined it by being immediately pushy or overly sexual far too quickly.

I'm not saying this is you haha please I mean no offence. I'm just very wary when it comes to couples on fab now.

I want to see them together in a relaxed non pressured way, I want to make sure that the woman is as interested as her partner. I want to see how they interact.

I find clubs just easier for that to unfold naturally.

Nice that you have photo of you both though. That isn't typical.

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By *ebaucherous_duoCouple
9 weeks ago

Bristol/ Daventry

There is absolutely no way I’d entertain a m led profile seeking a third. It’s great that you are making changes as you go, but to temper expectations, as others have said, it should be Jackie looking if it’s something she genuinely wants. There are many women only club nights happening, as well.

The poor photos that are clearly from a M’s phone, lack of her voice and general tone gives off the red flag that something is happening without her knowledge. Too many red flags and potential for drama.

If you want an fMf a sex worker might be a better fit. There are some excellent ladies on Adultwork who would entertain couples. It might tick your boxes while giving you both the experience and focus to better understand what you would like for and from a third. Clubs are also a great option for couples, typically on Saturday nights is the couples and single ladies option.

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By *elkieWoman
9 weeks ago

Durham

and if your profile says this you’ll get 200% more interest. I won’t interact with profiles of athletic femmes without a very clear indication of what body types they’re open to.

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By *ull of PuddinWoman
9 weeks ago

isle of munters

I don't think it's a male lead profile ?

It's a couple profile with more female info

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

When we message someone it is always both of us never just one alone .sorry to hear you’ve had issues with other couples don’t blame you for being wary.. we personally dont understand why the guy tends to take over.. it’s not in this case it’s been all my decision.thank you for your advice. Jackie x

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

Im really sorry that you feel like that. But it’s not a Male led profile Im the one that has been messaging not him he only steps in when people get shitty.i would never touch a sex worker Im looking for connection and meaningful sex not a waste of time . And what husband doesn’t have pictures of his wife on his phone that would be a red flag with me.so how do you get from the profile that it’s male led when I’ve written the profile let me guess it’s the male that’s posted. Your assumption are meaningless maybe next time make sure your rite about who leads a profile and I disagree that it should only be the woman looking after all he is involved the attraction has to be for everyone involved not just me and her .. my husband has been very supportive of me coming out.we don’t mind video chatting with people to prove it’s me not him. Thanks for you opinion it’s just way of the mark sorry. Jackie stay safe and happy fabbing

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

Thank you it’s so frustrating when people think it’s my husband and not me leading it it’s for me he’s just been involved in messaging when I get flustered or to nervous being supportive like he should be. Thanks for your feed back..Jackie xx

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By *ull of PuddinWoman
9 weeks ago

isle of munters

Just a bit of help OP, when you want to reply to a specific post... use the quote+reply

That way it shows who you are replying to

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By *ull of PuddinWoman
9 weeks ago

isle of munters

"Thank you it’s so frustrating when people think it’s my husband and not me leading it it’s for me he’s just been involved in messaging when I get flustered or to nervous being supportive like he should be. Thanks for your feed back..Jackie xx"

Like this

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By *ebaucherous_duoCouple
9 weeks ago

Bristol/ Daventry

"Im really sorry that you feel like that. But it’s not a Male led profile Im the one that has been messaging not him he only steps in when people get shitty.i would never touch a sex worker Im looking for connection and meaningful sex not a waste of time . And what husband doesn’t have pictures of his wife on his phone that would be a red flag with me.so how do you get from the profile that it’s male led when I’ve written the profile let me guess it’s the male that’s posted. Your assumption are meaningless maybe next time make sure your rite about who leads a profile and I disagree that it should only be the woman looking after all he is involved the attraction has to be for everyone involved not just me and her .. my husband has been very supportive of me coming out.we don’t mind video chatting with people to prove it’s me not him. Thanks for you opinion it’s just way of the mark sorry. Jackie stay safe and happy fabbing "

Advice and opinions were asked for and given. You are asking people who have been here a long time and have seen a great deal and are, in good faith, sharing their experience and suggestions based on the many many interactions they have had to try and ease your journey and make it a smooth one.

No assumptions have been made on my behalf, and no this isn’t Mr (as my profile states). I was responding to both the messages on the forum which are all male lead as well as the style of post and pictures which weren’t reflective of that which I would expect from a woman’s phone. There are a lot of men on here sharing photos of their wives without their knowledge or consent. Again this was commented to protect you not to annoy you.

Coming out isn’t easy, however, there is a lot of very open and welcoming socials and club events that would be excellent for you to experience and build both your confidence and resilience.

Finally, consider closing messages to men as it is clear that you are being frustrated by them. This is in your options tab under the account and privacy.

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By *RS SQUIRTS OP Couple
9 weeks ago

Dundee

"Just a bit of help OP, when you want to reply to a specific post... use the quote+reply

That way it shows who you are replying to"
will make sure to do that next time thanks x Jackie

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