FabSwingers.com forum: sub women: a how to??

By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

hi guys n gals, here looking for some adivce on how to be dom for a girl iv been meeting and chatting to for a while now.

im 27 she 24 and through "flirty" texting we starting talking about things we get turned on by and she begins to say "i like a man to take charge" sort of thing and that she liked her nipples to be squeezed hard and when i asked, she like the idea of being spanked, which got my intrest to say the least!! hehe

we continue to chat and experiment but i have no real experience of the dom role and in my internet adventures so far all i really find is women being tied from the ceiling, needle play and smack around fake rape kinda stuff........i am plenty openminded but have to say none of that is for me, a big turn off.

and so would love to hear from the people of fabland (esp sub women) for to share what they liked in the past or didnt like aswell, and in general tips and ideas to things we may like to try and should be avoided perhaps and also reconmended reading or veiwing material be very welcome also.xx

thanks in advance ppl.xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her that finding a Dominant who is experienced in the extreme side is possibly a good idea and you find a sub or Dominant who can mentor you is also a good idea.

Everyone has to start somewhere but two people who are green starting to learn together has problems written all over it IMHO if the stuff you are wanting to try includes force play.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

thanks for reply,not looking for the extreme side,was fustrated at thats all i could find when looking for ideas.

getting a mentor so like an intresting idea tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi this is R writing J's response...

Firstly, as you asking on a forum about how to be a Dom you are not one. It is very unlikely you will be able to do it. Ultimately if you want to sub this girl, get a Dom in, sit back relax and watch, (yep you be a cuckold'd my friend)

There is so much wrong with your post it is hard to know where to start.

Researching ? she is the research, you should be attuned to her needs then telling her what her needs are. Not asking her, and then researching the net. Maybe you could read the Shadowlands series Cherri Sinclair. (it is chick lit but it defines the male / dom role with some precision. ) J was instructed to read it. I won't read any of it in case it taints my versatile imagination.

Smack around ? Wtf is that ? No Dom ever gives out a smack around. If I R ever saw a Dom giving his sub a smack around, i would intervene as J would expect me to.

BDSM is about a journey of the mind, well before the body.

fake rape ? again, even the choice of words is so far off, look at forced orgasms at you might be heading in the right direction. Also "edging" is an acquired skill, but subs generally go wild for it.

and needle play ? you are nowhere near ready for that, please for her sake forget about that one.

Suspension is serious rope work, it is a complicated restraint, you could inflict some serious injury going head first into that....

Slow down, go to some BDSM clubs, try fet life and get yourselves to a munch (a meet in a public place, vanilla dress) near you.

You two could be onto a good journey together, but your post is alarming in it naivety...

also research topping from the bottom...

(J will check this and correct me if she thinks she needs to....she won't of course)

your voice is the best tool you have, especially when your sub is fully restrained....

If some of this seems harsh, it is, suspension, really ? ?...fuck that up and you are in A and E......

If you are ever at the lodge in Gloucester, when we are there, I may give a demonstration, but J is not here to train, she is a sub in training herself....

us 2 X We only ever write together.

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By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham

Get out into the bdsm community is my best advise if your serious about this.

Check out munches, fet events etc and find a mentor if you can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a Dom and not extreme feel free to PM me will advise you the best I can and well done for researching this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, ask her what she likes and what she's into. She might just like the idea of it and want gentle stuff. Talk to her and work it out together. No point asking the BDSM people if her thoughts are of just a bit of light spanking and her hands tied.

If she wants more than that then you know where to start. Have fun! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi this is R writing J's response...

There is so much wrong with your post it is hard to know where to start.

Smack around ? Wtf is that ? No Dom ever gives out a smack around. If I R ever saw a Dom giving his sub a smack around, i would intervene as J would expect me to.

BDSM is about a journey of the mind, well before the body.

and needle play ? you are nowhere near ready for that, please for her sake forget about that one.

Suspension is serious rope work, it is a complicated restraint, you could inflict some serious injury going head first into that....

Slow down, go to some BDSM clubs, try fet life and get yourselves to a munch (a meet in a public place, vanilla dress) near you.

You two could be onto a good journey together, but your post is alarming in it naivety...

also research topping from the bottom...

(J will check this and correct me if she thinks she needs to....she won't of course)

your voice is the best tool you have, especially when your sub is fully restrained....

If some of this seems harsh, it is, suspension, really ? ?...fuck that up and you are in A and E......

If you are ever at the lodge in Gloucester, when we are there, I may give a demonstration, but J is not here to train, she is a sub in training herself....

us 2 X We only ever write together.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

plz read again......

first want ideas from other ppl (esp sub women)so WE can experiment

and i said that smack and fake rape was a big turn off!

didnt read the rest of your response as you didnt read the request.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

@neverenoughfun

@queenoftease

#SPEEDREADINGFAIL

@everyone else so far, thank you

other perspectives, experiences and REALIVENT contrabutions are what im hoping to get outa this and are very helpful,,) lots of lovexxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you did read the rest, otherwise you would not be able to qualify whether it answered your post or not....

You just didn't like the bit about nor being a Dom, so retaliated, which by the way confirms to me even more that you are not a Dom.

No Dom would sulk off halfway through they would read it, take it in and respond with their own carefully thought out reasoned thoughts, explaining their own unique perspective.

I am an extremely experienced Dom, so take my advice it is good advice.

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By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham

If your a Dom or want to be...I think the 'domly' thing would be to do your own research instead of getting shirty with people who have responded

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

I think the first thing you need to establish is if your lady friend is looking for you to assert yourself in the 'stronger' male role in the bedroom or a true BDSM journey. Huge difference.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Or maybe just Role Play which is a big difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A Dom is what you ARE not what you DO. You can learn techniques if you like, but if you don't feel deep down that this is part of your personality and deeply held desires, and are just doing it for your gf, then you are likely to end up over your head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A Dom is what you ARE not what you DO. You can learn techniques if you like, but if you don't feel deep down that this is part of your personality and deeply held desires, and are just doing it for your gf, then you are likely to end up over your head."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been on the receiving end of a "Dominant" who had no idea of what he was doing; threads like this attract me.

I will reiterate my point, get yourself a mentor (Dom or sub) who knows what they are doing. Someone who understands conventions and who comprehends fully what being in a D/s relationship means!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Unfortunately you have asked a question that sparks controversy on here. There are a number of Dom/sub couples on here who of course take the lifestyle very seriously and are inevolves in a lot of extreme things and so err on the side of great caution when it comes to people asking advice. To them if you need help them you can't do it.

My OH and I met on here and have incorporated elements of BDSM into our sex life. He will yell you that he never considered himself able to Dom a woman but he does it very well (in my eyes, others might view him as too soft etc)

It works for us because we talk about things a lot. We might see something on line and think it looks hot then find a way to try it out. We go to pound shops to see what toys we can find and have gone to the bbb (fetish market) to see some of the things there.

As you say you are not looking foe extreme play, just another dimension to add to your sex life. Communication before during and after is key x

Have fun experimenting x

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"I think the first thing you need to establish is if your lady friend is looking for you to assert yourself in the 'stronger' male role in the bedroom or a true BDSM journey. Huge difference. "

not sure what you mean by true bdsm journey (kinda why im here i guess)

so far its mainly like roleplay in bedroom were she does what shes told to serve me (alot of which is preagreed of course) and not a 24hr lifestyle setup if you get me. well exculding random naughty text msgs

just looking for a broader understanding of the whole area and see what out of everything fits for us best. but as you can see knowledge is power!, even when its roleplay it seems

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"Or maybe just Role Play which is a big difference

you could well be right queenoftease, still finding out....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hi guys n gals, here looking for some adivce on how to be dom for a girl iv been meeting and chatting to for a while now.

im 27 she 24 and through "flirty" texting we starting talking about things we get turned on by and she begins to say "i like a man to take charge" sort of thing and that she liked her nipples to be squeezed hard and whe'n i asked, she like the idea of being spanked, which got my intrest to say the least!! hehe

thanks in advance ppl.xx

Buy ' screw the roses send me the thorns' from Amazon. This is an exceptional handbook about BDSM and in the 20 years I have been involved in the lifestyle I have not seen another publication written to as high a standard.

If you need anymore websites/ links feel free to message me.

And good luck!

Xxx

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"Having been on the receiving end of a "Dominant" who had no idea of what he was doing; threads like this attract me.

I will reiterate my point, get yourself a mentor (Dom or sub) who knows what they are doing. Someone who understands conventions and who comprehends fully what being in a D/s relationship means!"

i agree totaly, thats exactly why im asking advice about the subject.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having been on the receiving end of a "Dominant" who had no idea of what he was doing; threads like this attract me.

I will reiterate my point, get yourself a mentor (Dom or sub) who knows what they are doing. Someone who understands conventions and who comprehends fully what being in a D/s relationship means!"

this is what prompted our response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In roleplay you decide to pretend to be something you aren't for some fun. This is very different to asking and allowing someone complete domination over every aspect of your body and soul.

There is nothing wrong with roleplay, its just not the same thing as full on D/s.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

thanks evie it does sounds like those are the lines we are on at the mo, not engaging in an artform with rules to follow or levels to achive, just exploring sexuality and having some pleasureable and carnal fun.xx

thanks to you curvy kitten, will certainly check that book.x you know ppl say that reading broadens the mind!! in this case they may well be right! lol.x

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Another good read is 'SM101' by Jay Wiseman.

And watch out for the wannabes who will give you all sorts of advice about things you haven't asked about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pseudo Doms are extremely dangerous. There is so much information out there on BDSM sites, is a swingers site really the best place to start?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Pseudo Doms are extremely dangerous. There is so much information out there on BDSM sites, is a swingers site really the best place to start?"

You know some of the best conversations I have had about BDSM have been on here. There are some amazing couples who are into both lifestyles. Education and communication don't necessarily come from the places you expect them.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"Another good read is 'SM101' by Jay Wiseman.

And watch out for the wannabes who will give you all sorts of advice about things you haven't asked about

thanks stevendebs will look it up for sure. might just a tidy little library for myself by end of thread

thanks again will keep a sharp eye out for them. lolx .....why haters gotta hate?? idk

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"Pseudo Doms are extremely dangerous. There is so much information out there on BDSM sites, is a swingers site really the best place to start?"

for me i think it is as i get access to a broader range of experiences and intrests.

tho bdsm fourms are definatily to be checked out aswell, if you a recomendation pm me cos a info goes the more the merrier i say.

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

Maybe you both should read some of the novels available that have the topic as the theme and then discuss which buts you liked and which you didn't. I will probably get lots of groans for this but 50 shades or the Story of O would probably be a good start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never read the story of O. But 50 shades is not how D/s really works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand exacly where the op is coming from .. I had a meet last week who wanted roleplay and for the want of a better word wanted me to rape and abuse her ..I sort of tried to go along with it for a while but had to stop because it is just not in my nature to hurt and abuse a lady ..Even though she was really getting off on it ..I told her it was not my thing and if she wanted that then maybe she best look for someone else ..We ended up just having normal sex lol if there is such a thing

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

If you want a lobe story read 50 shades, if you want a fairly hard to read book about a woman sent to a chateau to learn submission without her knowledge read the story of o. Neither are great tomes for learning about actual BDSM stuff in my eyes.

As you can see there are lots of divided opinions on this subject. The best you can do is pick your way through and see what resonates best with you both.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Whilst I am Sub, there are many many different levels to bdsm and all to often people jump on the band wagon of Master/slave relationship, which is not at all what I am into.

I am sub in the bedroom only however, I am also very lucky to have met someone who can meet my needs both mentally and physically and knows exactly how and when to push my boundaries long before I even know!

The mind is a very powerful tool

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"Maybe you both should read some of the novels available that have the topic as the theme and then discuss which buts you liked and which you didn't. I will probably get lots of groans for this but 50 shades or the Story of O would probably be a good start. "

and you did haha.x never of story of O so i'll go see what thats about, and yeah thats essential to talk (and part of the fun too) and this is just getting ideas from peoples own experences and kinda and idea cloud and work out or change it up a lil a see what suits in the end.xx

im sure you agree if everyone involed not having fun,then no-one is having fun.xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Part of the issue with BDSM is that some people have quite strong feelings about it and then will tell you whether you're doing it wrong or right based on how they perceive it to be. Many doms and subs are very subtle in their play but by the more hardcore they're seen as amateurs and don't know what they're talking about. However, the one thing that I think everyone agrees about is that this is about trust. that means if you go beyond light spanking and blindfolds you need to be comfortable with boundaries and make sure you know when to stop.

If at any point one of you is not enjoying it, then stop.

BTW when people say you aren't a Dom if you have to ask these questions are missing out on the fact that people often don't discover their true sexuality until they're absolutely comfortable with themselves. This means exploration and questions galore, never feel stupid for asking a question and if people tell you that, ignore them.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"If you want a lobe story read 50 shades, if you want a fairly hard to read book about a woman sent to a chateau to learn submission without her knowledge read the story of o. Neither are great tomes for learning about actual BDSM stuff in my eyes.

As you can see there are lots of divided opinions on this subject. The best you can do is pick your way through and see what resonates best with you both. "

exactly me intentions are to get info on the whole spectrum and take away elements if they are enjoyable, for example mite enjoy some pain but not hulmilliation or indeed otherway round. they all get put into the idea cloud and see what mix we like.x

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"Whilst I am Sub, there are many many different levels to bdsm and all to often people jump on the band wagon of Master/slave relationship, which is not at all what I am into.

The mind is a very powerful tool

i agree completely, live your life the way you enjoy it.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Part of the issue with BDSM is that some people have quite strong feelings about it and then will tell you whether you're doing it wrong or right based on how they perceive it to be. Many doms and subs are very subtle in their play but by the more hardcore they're seen as amateurs and don't know what they're talking about. However, the one thing that I think everyone agrees about is that this is about trust. that means if you go beyond light spanking and blindfolds you need to be comfortable with boundaries and make sure you know when to stop.

If at any point one of you is not enjoying it, then stop.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

@torjames first off thanks for getting the spirit of the thread as most have and been helpful to boot!

thanks again guys.

its not just bdsm scene its everywhere, if your not doing it their way then its wrong kinda thing.

looked up home brewing or beer and low and behold they appeared, talking down to people and condasending comments about people not being true home-brewers cos they not doing it "right" becos didnt buy best equipment and not careing of the subtle of taste and just want cheap beer!!!

your finding the parallels here! lol.x

nearly 100% positive thread tho so they not worrying me.x

thanks again.xxx

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"As a Dom and not extreme feel free to PM me will advise you the best I can and well done for researching this "

adivsed that to get a mentor be good idea........MENTOR FOUND!! haha

she helpful kinky and a sexy redhead!!

seriously you guys i think i love this bitch!.... sorry its mistress, i love this mistress ..... mwah.xxx

lol.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another good read is 'SM101' by Jay Wiseman.

And watch out for the wannabes who will give you all sorts of advice about things you haven't asked about

"
.

thank you for reiterating our point about psuedo Doms your acknowledgement of it is appreciated

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

its YOU they taking the piss out of!!!! jebus saves us like!!! :-0

" And watch out for the wannabes who will give you all sorts of advice about things you haven't asked about ;-) "

why do you think they winking at me and talking about people responding to thread without reading it ??? :-0

do you reading anyones msgs in full??? :+0

#icantfeckingbelievethis

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank YOU for sign posting the intended irony of our post...

Are you sure you have the mental agility for this ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well this thread certainly went on a different tack quickly didn't it.

Aggression and Domination do not work well together.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"Well this thread certainly went on a different tack quickly didn't it.

Aggression and Domination do not work well together."

i know, they must be trolls. and trolls do be trolling.x

it was irony so....... who else believes that? should of used (~) symbol

anyway guys this thread has been hijacked so if you have any helpful advice or suggestions please pm or respond here still if you like but beware of trolls...... they'll get ya!! haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's been no trolling on this thread, there's been people on here who are involved in the BDSM lifestyle to one extent or another.

Different people play differently, what my Dominant and and I do could be totally different to how another D/s couple play and that doesn't make it wrong it just makes it different.

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

Has she said she is looking for a Dom or that she is a sub?

I like my men taking charge but I am FAR from being a sub!

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

i dont know ruby that last msg by them was nothing but an agurementive stance and only looking to cause bad feeling and "get back at"...... its very similar to trolls all their msg to OP (me) only had a negetive tone if you look back on thread.x

thanks for previous advice again.xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow you really are not in control of your aggression.

Part of my post was to measure your response, and I have manged to draw you out within a couple of posts.

I hope I never see you when a sub turns BRAT on you whilst restrained. You would not know what to do and most likely turn to the same aggression you have shown here.

Ladies and gentleman, Dom's and with your permissions your subs, I rest my case.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"Has she said she is looking for a Dom or that she is a sub?

I like my men taking charge but I am FAR from being a sub!"

yeah unsure at this stage as the subject is only come up in past few weeks so dont know what it will end up being as the experimenting is ongoing.x and also she hasnt used any of those terms yet but its feeling that it could be something like it.x

and just asking about the whole area and see what happens, never know where we end up.xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i dont know ruby that last msg by them was nothing but an agurementive stance and only looking to cause bad feeling and "get back at"...... its very similar to trolls all their msg to OP (me) only had a negetive tone if you look back on thread.x

thanks for previous advice again.xxx"

I think there's a stance that some people in the scene take (and I hold my hands up to being one of them) to being wary of people who are green playing as a green couple. I played as a green couple and I was left in a horrendous state, the tip of the iceberg was a black eye.

The way I see it (and I've written about this online) is that people in the scene have a duty to educate people who are green (I am by NO stretch of the imagination experienced but I've educated myself online and through my last Dominant) Don't forget when you type on a computer you can't hear tone of voice or see people's facial expressions. I don't believe the couple are trolls.

As for the advice, any time, like I said education is the way to improve and succeed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It either comes naturally or it doesn't

It does with me in sex but I can switch it off what I don't like is when this spills over into the vanilla world and the sub is asking permission all the time. Seen it on profiles on here and it makes me shudder, fun for them maybe but not for me

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By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

Exactly, you either have it in you or you do not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hi guys n gals, here looking for some adivce on how to be dom for a girl iv been meeting and chatting to for a while now.

thanks in advance ppl.xx

needle play? smack around? fake rape? what the hell,i don t like the sound of tht at all!!whats wrong with giving each other pleasure without the pain and violence??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

needle play? smack around? fake rape? what the hell,i don t like the sound of tht at all!!whats wrong with giving each other pleasure without the pain and violence??

Sweetheart we all play differently and to different levels.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

i hope your not suggesting that im like to give anyone a black eye?

(i dnt think you are btw)

look i have only being asking about the area here is becos all i found was extreme smack around/fake rape stuff which, to be fair, i said clearly was a big turn off for me and so i ask here becos i thought id get more realistic advice and experinces.x

sorry if you had bad experince, but im not, as i said at the start, into inflicting pain, rem i get turned off by it

and for you to suggest (even unwittingly) that i am anything like, or at risk of being like, anyone that would at best cause unwanted injury or at worst force someone to do something they didnt want to do if find truly offensive and objectionable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeeeez what a thread!!!

Without repeating anything that may have already been quoted already....

My advise speaking as a sub part of a couple.

Whether you are sub or Dom it's a natural form. Your character develops your power or control.

But as a couple who have been into BDSM for around 3 years.....it's a huge learning curve. Not an overnight change. A long journey of exploration of body, mind and most of all trust.

With the couples who practice the same as us...(who we have met) the thing that is very evident is that a dominant man as powerful as he may be uses his charm and respect to make any woman melt into submission.

Have fun with it. Be careful, not everything will be mind blowing or correct the first time.

Develop your relationship first before acting out a role and having your lady strung from the ceiling.

Safety is key. Safe words a must. Respect and protection should be paramount.

Read up. Go to work shops and when good people offer advice take as that. It's good advice. Very good advice.

Have fun. Be safe x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i hope your not suggesting that im like to give anyone a black eye?

(i dnt think you are btw)

sorry if you had bad experince, but im not, as i said at the start, into inflicting pain, rem i get turned off by it

You've totally misunderstood what I said, I've actually tried to help you on this thread. I was merely giving you an experience I went through when someone hadn't educated themselves. As I've said previously, I think you've done the right thing in posting a thread on here. You need to read what I wrote again I think.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

sorry ruby as i said i had a feeling i did misunderstand.xxx

just its something i really dont like, and was concerned about being labelled in anyway.x

i still like you lots tho

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sorry ruby as i said i had a feeling i did misunderstand.xxx

just its something i really dont like, and was concerned about being labelled in anyway.x

i still like you lots tho

Glad that has been cleared up.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

sound advice kinkytwosomeNW and i thank you for it

i didnt know there were workshops you could attend! (thread sucess haha

)

tell me more plz

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In BDSM a social is called a munch and there are fet nights too. Munches tend to be social with some displays and some without play at all.

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

"I've never read the story of O. But 50 shades is not how D/s really works. "

Im quite aware of that. Was just trying to give some easy to find general fiction that is loosely based on D/s which the OP could use as a basis of discussion on what they both want.

All D/s relstionships are unique journey's.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"In BDSM a social is called a munch and there are fet nights too. Munches tend to be social with some displays and some without play at all."

heard of them b4 and didnt no wat they really about, cheers.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If your a Dom or want to be...I think the 'domly' thing would be to do your own research instead of getting shirty with people who have responded"

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

As a rough search on a website mentioned earlier in the thread, there are several munches and events held on a monthly basis in the Manchester area.

Find out what your friend wants, she may want to get involved in 'rape' play, you need to find out her limits, both hard and soft.

Go to some of the events, most are suitable for newbies, although some won't be, so email the organisers first.

I wish you luck on your journey, it isn't one many people make successfully.

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By *rightloonMan
over a year ago

Stafford

Please remember that a Dom is not:

- A bully

- An abusive partner

- Somebody who practices sexual assault

- Some one who does as he or she pleases

- Someone who manipulates other "weaker" characters

Being Dom or Top does come naturally even though in my interaction with others in daily life am not particularly Dominant.

Certain women have a way of "teasing" it out of me whilst I am mutually and strongly attracted to them.

Meeting others in the scene broadens this latent aspect out. The desire becomes manifest in possibilities, experience and pleasure.

Such situations do require self discipline, humor, awareness and grace of all concerned otherwise things can get out of hand.

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

"Please remember that a Dom is not:

- A bully

- An abusive partner

- Somebody who practices sexual assault

- Some one who does as he or she pleases

- Someone who manipulates other "weaker" characters

Being Dom or Top does come naturally even though in my interaction with others in daily life am not particularly Dominant.

Certain women have a way of "teasing" it out of me whilst I am mutually and strongly attracted to them.

Meeting others in the scene broadens this latent aspect out. The desire becomes manifest in possibilities, experience and pleasure.

Such situations do require self discipline, humor, awareness and grace of all concerned otherwise things can get out of hand."

summed it up perfecly there i think and i totally agree with you!!

good call coming here for some real and sane advice and info!

thanks again all.xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Please remember that a Dom is not:

- A bully

- An abusive partner

- Somebody who practices sexual assault

- Some one who does as he or she pleases

- Someone who manipulates other "weaker" characters

Being Dom or Top does come naturally even though in my interaction with others in daily life am not particularly Dominant.

Certain women have a way of "teasing" it out of me whilst I am mutually and strongly attracted to them.

Meeting others in the scene broadens this latent aspect out. The desire becomes manifest in possibilities, experience and pleasure.

Such situations do require self discipline, humor, awareness and grace of all concerned otherwise things can get out of hand."

what a great post. Well done to original poster for asking... Even experienced people sometimes need to learn or ask questions..

yes I do believe it's a natural thing.. but you still need guidance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of sound advice above for you and any other potential people who are considering venturing forth down the road of Dom/Sub lifestyle..

Key thing all true Doms are dominant in nature coupled with key element of utilising their minds to control and work the subs mind and senses..

A few years ago I attended a Dom school down in London for three days that gave me an excellent education in the finer arts of Dom and an excellent platform to begin and indulge my darker side.. So do some research, find a mentor, go to clubs and take it slowly to begin with..

I also agree that swinging and fet life can be juggled and switched as I now do this myself..

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By *entleman D OP Man
over a year ago

city center, limerick city.

cheers midsmatey!

nice profile btw

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