FabSwingers.com forum: Trust

By *eopardy OP Man
16 weeks ago

Cheltenham

Had to get this off my chest. Recently contacted a near-ish couple who caught my eye. Rapid response from the male half, curious about pushing his bi-curiosity as well as ‘hot threesomes’ with his lady. So far so good. Face pics and numbers shared.

Long story short it turns out his partner isn’t aware of his bi curiosity and he wanted to meet me in private, under the radar.

I immediately called this out - all the couples I’ve met and been privileged enough to join have been wonderfully trusting in their relationship and are completely on the same wavelength. So my pushback to this guy was that this wasn’t the way to go and I wouldn’t be part of that deception, but still interested in meeting them both. I worded it with a degree of kindness and non-judgement. But suddenly I’m blocked! 🤣

So I could do with some perspective, Fab friends…

1. Is this more likely to be a single guy masquerading as a couple, and I’ve been catfished? Can’t understand why but hey ho!

2. Did I step out of line by ‘preaching’, as a single guy, to an apparent couple about trust within the swinging dynamic?

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By *rectus HumongusMan
16 weeks ago

morecambe for the day

Of course it is a single bloke sadly quite a few blokes do it i get some more or less daily.

Lot easier to spot them though.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
16 weeks ago

Central

It could be either but it screams not being trustworthy overall. It's useful to know who is engaging, so you can understand if it's 1 or both.

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By *eopardy OP Man
16 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"Of course it is a single bloke sadly quite a few blokes do it i get some more or less daily.

Lot easier to spot them though."

So peculiar. Can’t believe it’s taken 3.5 years on Fab to get my first likely catfisher. Just…not necessary! Ah well.

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By *ilbert777Woman
16 weeks ago

Burton-on-Trent

I think it's either a single bloke by which i mean he may well have a wife but she doesn't know about the profile or he reasonably thinks if he's going to be so untrustworthy he doesn't want wife meeting you, in case you say something or more likely let something slip. (It's also still possible he is ashamed of that, even though there is no reason he should be.) Most importantly I don't think it says anything about you, you were just caught up in it.

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By *eopardy OP Man
16 weeks ago

Cheltenham

"I think it's either a single bloke by which i mean he may well have a wife but she doesn't know about the profile or he reasonably thinks if he's going to be so untrustworthy he doesn't want wife meeting you, in case you say something or more likely let something slip. (It's also still possible he is ashamed of that, even though there is no reason he should be.) Most importantly I don't think it says anything about you, you were just caught up in it."

Ah that’s kind, thanks. And agreed - nothing to be ashamed of, so if he IS that’s not something that being on Fab in secret is going to help with.

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By *issmorganWoman
16 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

I agree that if he is in a couple,she doesn't know about the profile.

It's a good thing you were blocked I think as if you'd arranged a meet, it would have been just him. She'd be ill, working trekking in the rainforest etc.

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By *izandpaulCouple
16 weeks ago

merseyside

"Had to get this off my chest. Recently contacted a near-ish couple who caught my eye. Rapid response from the male half, curious about pushing his bi-curiosity as well as ‘hot threesomes’ with his lady. So far so good. Face pics and numbers shared.

Long story short it turns out his partner isn’t aware of his bi curiosity and he wanted to meet me in private, under the radar.

So I could do with some perspective, Fab friends…

1. Is this more likely to be a single guy masquerading as a couple, and I’ve been catfished? Can’t understand why but hey ho!

2. Did I step out of line by ‘preaching’, as a single guy, to an apparent couple about trust within the swinging dynamic?"

Who knows.

There are plenty of strange people on here, many guys are married stating they are single etc

We don't really care, not our problem as long as a married guy doesn't slag off his wife for not being interested in swinging, a red flag to us.

Always best if in anyway unsure, move on.

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By *aandLoCouple
16 weeks ago

Southampton

It's really not about you at all. It's entirely about him.

Whether his wife is imaginary, or real, he's hiding something. If only from himself (yeah, I hear how trite that sounds.) It's the deception he feels guilty about, and that's not your problem.

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By *ornucopiaMan
16 weeks ago

Bexley

Have you never come across this phenomenon before, OP?

All I can say is where have you been all this time?

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By *ornucopiaMan
16 weeks ago

Bexley

...

I loved that little attempt at opportunism on your part..

..almost equalled his!

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By *poolGuyMan
16 weeks ago

Liverpool

"Of course it is a single bloke sadly quite a few blokes do it i get some more or less daily.

Lot easier to spot them though.

So peculiar. Can’t believe it’s taken 3.5 years on Fab to get my first likely catfisher. Just…not necessary! Ah well."

I've had a plenty of fantasists, when you push and question it's often just the guy having a fantasy and wants you to provide fodder for his wank.

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