FabSwingers.com forum: Urgent help required from site admin or someone with experience

By *unghornydave OP Man
18 weeks ago

Chester

Hi,

Just had a mert this morning that ended badly.

Guy came round, there was a bit of misunderstanding while he was here as to what we both wanted.

He was fairly aggressive as he left and I apologised.

I followed up to apologise and he has now threatened to post a letter through so that he can expose me to my wife.

I could really do with some advice on what I can do/say.

Am shaking as I write this...

Thanks in advance

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
18 weeks ago

East Sussex

Are the messages threatening to expose you on fab? If so report the profile. Admin take these things very seriously

He probably won't do what he's threatened and spoke in anger, however I would say keep a record of and threats made and take them to the police if things escalate.

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By *unghornydave OP Man
18 weeks ago

Chester

Hi,

Thanks for the response.

He has threatened to post something through the letterbox, from what his messages state, I think he means print out of our messages (including my address and maybe face pic, I have deleted it but he may have saved it)

I'm really shaken up...

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By *ellhungvweMan
18 weeks ago

Cheltenham

I am sorry to hear that. That sounds like borderline extortion. It is a police matter rather than admin. You are in a horrible position but I think you need to consider whether being open with your partner might be a good idea.

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By *unghornydave OP Man
18 weeks ago

Chester

Wish I could...long story but isn't an option

Thanks for the support

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
18 weeks ago

Central

It's potentially still worth speaking with the police, so that you get a fuller understanding of how they'd handle it even though you're reluctant, because of your marital situation. It may reassure you more, especially as you're holding this burden and fear. Wishing you all the best

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
18 weeks ago

Central

You could consider hiding things, including just such as your verifications, that he might not have accessed and saved.

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By *unghornydave OP Man
18 weeks ago

Chester

Thanks for both of your comments and your support

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By *iss DevilWoman
18 weeks ago

Bedford

"You could consider hiding things, including just such as your verifications, that he might not have accessed and saved."
I highly doubt that's going to help if the other guy has screenshots of messages etc.

Sorry to hear you're in that situation, OP, but if the other party has proof of who you are etc, you have 2 options, in my opinion:

1) come clean to your wife and take the consequences

2) deny everything, pretend you were set up, that someone is there to "get you". Delete your profile and then stay loyal and faithful to your wife.

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By *lowupdollTV/TS
18 weeks ago

Herts/Leeds

This may help you OP.

Everything online is traceable. Even behind a VPN. To the exact device jt was sent from and the location. If he posts shit through your letterbox they can prove which printer it came from, fingerprints the lot. Even dna. This is not me saying this, it is from the police.

His threat is itself already an offence under the Prevention of Malicious Communications Act. Any communication deliberately intended to cause alarm, distress, damage to reputation or health, or loss, is covered. His messages are themselves a serious offence.

How serious? Up to 6 years imprisonment.

The police, and the courts (it’s a crown court offence btw) take it very seriously. If they have evidence they WILL prosecute. This is directly from the police also.

The idiot making these threats has already decided to take a potentially life ruining risk which far outweighs the risk he poses to you.

It’s distressing I get that. But he is now one step away from a living hell. He’d be extremely foolish to do anything other than hope you don’t go to the police.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
18 weeks ago

your bed

Agreed, it's a police issue. Hiding your profile is a good start but I would change your avatar otherwise you might still be recognisable to your wife.

In terms of the post that's tricky, if you work from home then you could just try to access the post each and every day.

Whilst it's not great for those who are impacted by it, the evolution of AI images does give you a get out of jail card if your wife does open the post.

You could say someone has generated this with AI because ??? You would need an excuse that seems plausible.

The police option is not preventative unless you are still communicating with the person threatening and then you can lay out the information provided above.

In the end you have not done anything criminally wrong, so don't over panic. Yes when we are caught in a lie it is stressful but whilst it may impact your relationships, you will eventually come out the other side.

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By *unghornydave OP Man
18 weeks ago

Chester

Thanks to those that have responded.

Hopefully he will think again of the consequences for ALL involved...

I know that this is a situation of my own making and I can't believe how stupid I have been...

Still shaking and feeling sick and trying to act normal...

He has not responded to my last message where I repeated the apology (despite having no idea why he was so angry)...he has been on and off the site since this morning

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By *rasshopper201Man
18 weeks ago

kendal

"Wish I could...long story but isn't an option

Thanks for the support "
was he local why not put his name on here so we can all send him a message about his childish attitude towards you I take it he never gave you any details of himself

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By *unghornydave OP Man
18 weeks ago

Chester

He is off here, was all odd with hindsight, parked somewhere else (in an orange BMW if he was being honest)

Was all fine until he decided it wasn't really working out...

Don't think people bombarding him with messages will help, but thanks for the suggestion and more importantly the support...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
18 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Wish I could...long story but isn't an option

Thanks for the support was he local why not put his name on here so we can all send him a message about his childish attitude towards you I take it he never gave you any details of himself "

This is against site rules for obvious reasons. Please don't encourage people to do this as they will receive a ban

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
18 weeks ago

East Sussex

I'm going to close this now as advice has been given and there are rules against airing dirty linen in the forum

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