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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling. Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all? " This is why we put up our rules, so many single males(and the odd couple) just thought they had the right to be either abusive or completely disregard what we wanted. Our view, it is our ball and we will take it away when we want. Mind despite making it clear in our rules we still end up blocking, on average, 6 males a day | |||
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"I think you should accept those guys are just rude and ignorant. Block them after you have said no. If couples reply to me, I always thank them for the reply and wish them well. Too many people just hit the delete button. Life is too short and this is supposed to be fun. " See having sent loads of thanks but no thanks to then get loads of 'thanks any ways' back into the inbox (great twice as much to delete) I used to feel guilty about blocking and never just deleted. Not anymore. A delete is a thanks but no thanks, but then I'm only quoting the site rules | |||
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"No, you shouldn't feel the need to reply. more so if that is what happens. Sorry you had to face that, block and move on" We are trying to be polite. | |||
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"The frustration with this is that they sent the message then blocked us so we now can't either block or report them!" Yeah you can, type their username into your block list, so then they cant unblock you and email again or perv your profile You should be able to report the email from the email | |||
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"I agree as a single guy if i get a no thanks i just reply with a thanks for getting back and take care" That's what I do as I know everyone has a type and its polite to reply to people as well. Even if you aren't interested. | |||
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"Having recently ventured into the world of couples profiles (don't panic - just FB's!!) - I've heard many a tale of such messages but being a mere mortal single guy, obviously never been on the receiving end of such utter crap until now! But since setting up the new profile there's been a steady flow of "how are you", "nice tits" and "when can we meet" style messages. Admittedly I've had a whale of a time sending the odd sarcastic reply to people who assume its not me logged on - but I now see the reason many couples have the views they do! That said - we've had many very nice, chatty and humorous messages too. So we've adopted the "crap message = delete" approach, "nice message = reply" - whether we're interested or not. A pretty simple policy and one that causes no stress at all! So OP's - don't feel guilty in hitting delete and/or blocking - sometimes it's well deserved. " This | |||
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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling. Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all? " Had it plenty of times even when had old profile on here... Simple really just block and don't reply to messages that you don't like... Wouldn't get that bothered about it that I felt the need to name and shame on my profile tho x | |||
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"I agree as a single guy if i get a no thanks i just reply with a thanks for getting back and take care" Ditto its impolite not too | |||
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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling. Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all? " Yes def lots of us appreciate a thanks but no thanks as well as a yes. Dont let "their problem" become your problem. dont get upset or angry just get even BLOCK them after all you wouldnt want to meet them after that now would you | |||
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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling. Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all? " Don't bother replying unless they're of interest, we discovered if you do you end up with abuse or questions why!! | |||
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"If your not looking to meet them block them..xx" | |||
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"Just gives the genuine guys a bad name and puts of women /couples from chatting to people . I would always be respectful in my response " See I disagree with the whole "gives genuine guys a bad name" school o thought. In fact I think the genuine guys actually look more appealing when compared to the imbecilic fuckwits. Now I don't purport to be any remarkable kind of chap really. But next to these drooling baboons I look like Sir Galahad himself, trotting into view on a noble white steed and carrying your most beloved pet that he has just rescued from a house fire. Which can only be a good thing. | |||
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"Just gives the genuine guys a bad name and puts of women /couples from chatting to people . I would always be respectful in my response See I disagree with the whole "gives genuine guys a bad name" school o thought. In fact I think the genuine guys actually look more appealing when compared to the imbecilic fuckwits. Now I don't purport to be any remarkable kind of chap really. But next to these drooling baboons I look like Sir Galahad himself, trotting into view on a noble white steed and carrying your most beloved pet that he has just rescued from a house fire. Which can only be a good thing. " Think I meant to say it doesn't help the genuine guys cause but you are right if you are up front and honest you can't go far wrong | |||
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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling. Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all? " I've stopped replying now unless its a really really nice message but now I just delete if they try and send again block | |||
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"Question is now should we even bother replying at all? " I'm going to dare to stick my neck out and hope I don't get slaughtered for saying this; I think if someone is coming across rude or abusive then you should tell them how they are making you feel. Some people don't even realise that people will take offence to their messages. (That pretty much sums up my point but feel free to read on if you want see where my thoughts are coming from) Example; I received a message from a gay guy recently which made me cringe and there was no way I was going to respond to that. After reading the message back again I realised that I was on the sending end I would have thought this was an "okay" message to send. It's only when you're on the receiving end that you realise how poor the message is. I think if we tell people how their messages makes us feel it will do two important things: 1) It gives them a chance to apologise and change for the better 2) If they do change then we have actually saved someone else from receiving the same kind of messages from that person So I personally think that just blocking someone doesn't really help...it's just sweeping the problem under the carpet. | |||
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"If you're nor looking to meeting 'single male use the filters...simple really" That doesn't work as we sometimes do want to find single males so we don't want to block them all. But like someone has mentioned D is not sat at home frothing at the gash 24-7 and meets random men who send one line messages. People just don't seem to put any effort in and fail to see swinging isn't just sex. Pity there is not a bellend filter! | |||
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"Do the moderators not have a system where people found to be sending abusive messages can have their account suspended or something? ?" Yes but people need to report abusive messages as there's no way admin can screen every message and decide if it's abusive or not. I have known them to act swiftly when I've reported someone so I'd definitely encourage people to use the report button as well as the block button | |||
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"Twice in a couple of days we have had loads of abuse off single males just for saying no. We have just had a barely coherent message saying can he come over and fuck now. We answered ' In a word, no. Sorry' which we think is polite enough. This was answered with a diatrabe about how bad our attitude is and some name calling. Outstanding! Question is now should we even bother replying at all? " Dissapointing ! Another single male bashing . Bad behaviour is not the exclusivity of single males . I was recently conversing with a couple , they wanted me to meet , but once they found out I did not do bareback , they immediately got abusive and then blocked me . Maybe us single guys should start more posts off about couples and single females . I fear it may crash the website !!! | |||
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"Question is now should we even bother replying at all? I'm going to dare to stick my neck out and hope I don't get slaughtered for saying this; I think if someone is coming across rude or abusive then you should tell them how they are making you feel. Some people don't even realise that people will take offence to their messages. (That pretty much sums up my point but feel free to read on if you want see where my thoughts are coming from) Example; I received a message from a gay guy recently which made me cringe and there was no way I was going to respond to that. After reading the message back again I realised that I was on the sending end I would have thought this was an "okay" message to send. It's only when you're on the receiving end that you realise how poor the message is. I think if we tell people how their messages makes us feel it will do two important things: 1) It gives them a chance to apologise and change for the better 2) If they do change then we have actually saved someone else from receiving the same kind of messages from that person So I personally think that just blocking someone doesn't really help...it's just sweeping the problem under the carpet." Just to play the other side of the coin here...how would sending a message which basically told me that he'd 'love to meet me...if I lost a few stone' in any way shape or form come across as an "okay message to send". Not everyone does it and it's not exclusive to single guys but due to messages like this I no longer bother to reply to those I'm not interested in as, despite the abusive messages being limited, I got sick of them and it hasn't exactly helped my pre-existing confidence issues. Yes I do need to lose weight, but that doesn't mean I'm going to fuck everyone that feels they're doing me a favour by offering me what they see as a sympathy shag! | |||
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"Question is now should we even bother replying at all? I'm going to dare to stick my neck out and hope I don't get slaughtered for saying this; I think if someone is coming across rude or abusive then you should tell them how they are making you feel. Some people don't even realise that people will take offence to their messages. (That pretty much sums up my point but feel free to read on if you want see where my thoughts are coming from) Example; I received a message from a gay guy recently which made me cringe and there was no way I was going to respond to that. After reading the message back again I realised that I was on the sending end I would have thought this was an "okay" message to send. It's only when you're on the receiving end that you realise how poor the message is. I think if we tell people how their messages makes us feel it will do two important things: 1) It gives them a chance to apologise and change for the better 2) If they do change then we have actually saved someone else from receiving the same kind of messages from that person So I personally think that just blocking someone doesn't really help...it's just sweeping the problem under the carpet. Just to play the other side of the coin here...how would sending a message which basically told me that he'd 'love to meet me...if I lost a few stone' in any way shape or form come across as an "okay message to send". Not everyone does it and it's not exclusive to single guys but due to messages like this I no longer bother to reply to those I'm not interested in as, despite the abusive messages being limited, I got sick of them and it hasn't exactly helped my pre-existing confidence issues. Yes I do need to lose weight, but that doesn't mean I'm going to fuck everyone that feels they're doing me a favour by offering me what they see as a sympathy shag!" i just had a quick look at your pics and I don't think you need to loose any weight you are a sexy woman xxx | |||
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"My messages start all the same hi or how you doing you don't need to send more than that then if the like what they see you'll get a messages back simple shit my friends keep it simple, keep it clean. " Yes but personally think you do need to do more than that. The amount of messages that say "hi how you doing or " hi want to chat" ect ect...I want to see something that stands out and catches my attention x | |||
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"My messages start all the same hi or how you doing you don't need to send more than that then if the like what they see you'll get a messages back simple shit my friends keep it simple, keep it clean. Yes but personally think you do need to do more than that. The amount of messages that say "hi how you doing or " hi want to chat" ect ect...I want to see something that stands out and catches my attention x" yes I agree you need to put more of a effort in to your messages mate it's the only way you will stand out from the hundreds of men on hear | |||
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"My messages start all the same hi or how you doing you don't need to send more than that then if the like what they see you'll get a messages back simple shit my friends keep it simple, keep it clean. Yes but personally think you do need to do more than that. The amount of messages that say "hi how you doing or " hi want to chat" ect ect...I want to see something that stands out and catches my attention x" yes I agree you need to put more of a effort in to your messages mate it's the only way you will stand out from the hundreds of men on hear | |||
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"I dont get many replies even though i consider my msgs to be polite how. do you make your msg stand out really. capitals are 1 way i suppose i worry if you say the wrong thing sorry if this msg seems short" A lot of people look at the senders profile before deciding what to do with the message so if your profile is rubbish, sending the most beautifully crafted piece of prose as a message won't make any difference. | |||
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"OP don't stop doing what you previously did. 1 or 2 stupid messages I bet are in the minority not the majority. I try to reply to every message I receive even if it is to say no thank you. Most people on here are very polite in my experience. When I had someone set up a fake profile giving out my real details, a guy I had said no to previously was the person who alerted me and reported it. The fake account was closed within an hour of it being opened because of him. Don't let 1 or 2 silly messages but you off being yourselves. " Yes I suppose so. We send replies as we have our standards of behaviour but it is disappointing when others cant be as civilised. And yes we direct this equally at men, couples and single females. | |||
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"A lot of people look at the senders profile before deciding what to do with the message so if your profile is rubbish, sending the most beautifully crafted piece of prose as a message won't make any difference." Thats exactly what i do, if its not what im looking for then i just delete and move on to the next message Guys if you want to get more meets then spend a little bit of time looking through other guys profile who have a few verifications and see what they are doing right ! Had a guy message me the other day just saying "hi" so just deleted it 5 mins later i get from him "so you dont like fit young guys then?" deleted again and blocked Put some effort in please xx | |||
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"My messages start all the same hi or how you doing you don't need to send more than that then if the like what they see you'll get a messages back simple shit my friends keep it simple, keep it clean. " Couldn't disagree more. The 'Hi/What you up to/How's it going' messages make me hit the delete button. | |||
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"It is hard enough for a man on this site to get a meet on this site with out the idiots making it harder grrr " Surely they are the ones who only spoil it for themselves??? The guys who read profiles before sending fancy a fuck or think that just because I'm online means I want a shag don't do them selves any favours but the guys who do read profile and send me a message that is original and well written defiantly stand out from the others with me x | |||
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"I must admit I usually reply to all messages, even the crap really short ones, my parents taught me to be polite! I've never had any rude messages back yet - hopefully they realise I answered instead of deleting!" Good for you, wish everyone had your manners. | |||
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"I must admit I usually reply to all messages, even the crap really short ones, my parents taught me to be polite! I've never had any rude messages back yet - hopefully they realise I answered instead of deleting!" Maybe the fact your in cyprus means they don't have much expectation and therefore aren't crushed when you say no.. Where as us who are local to them are meant to drop our knickers cos they message us | |||
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