FabSwingers.com forum: Problems with myself/profile?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi everyone. First post on the forums so be gentle with me, lol.

Anyway I was wondering how to get some luck on this site. I have been trying to contact people since I joined this site and I haven't had any luck. I have been using this site on and off without really even making enough to contact to get a friend out of it, never mind fun, which is why I joined in the first place. So it got me thinking is there anything wrong with the way I look, what I say in my first message or is it my profile in general and women aren't interested in guys like that?

All advice welcome and hopefully someone can ease me into all this as its all new to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No profile picture is a start...

And the fact you say you're a virgin and shy is probably off putting. It says you don't know what you're doing, don't know what you like and meeting you is going to turn into a lesson.

If you want some proper man advice, get yourself out, nail a few girls, even prostitutes, get some confidence and experience and then come back. Get out with the lads and go and talk to a few girls and see where it goes. I don't mean that to sound harsh, but that's what I'd be saying to any of my mates in that situation.

Girls/women don't want shy, they want confidence but not cocky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" is there anything wrong with the way I look, what I say in my first message "

Please explain how we can tell if its how you look thats the problem with no picture of yourself ? or what you say in a first message when we have never read one of your "first messages"

C'mon, give us something to work with....

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

Here goes

1. a name like crazed will scare women off

2. Virgin status - not many experienced women will want that

3. Travel within 15 miles - you expect to find this mythical beast at the bottom of your garden?

4. Cannot accommodate - no offer of hotel either

5. No pic and doesn't feel the need to have one either

I think 5 is enough??

You are in a pool with hundreds of single guys, you are not doing much to sell yourself.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get pics up.

Lose the negative, self doubting stuff about yourself and display a bit more confidence.

You say you are humourous, use humour in your profile.

Cant come up with much more as you havent given much to work with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most people on here are looking for quality sex. A virgin is unlikely to provide that. Ignoring the numerous other negative, that fact alone will put an awful lot of people off.

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By *rystal denisonWoman
over a year ago

trowbridge

Your not verified you have no photos your a virgin you can't accomadate .

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By *rystal denisonWoman
over a year ago

trowbridge

Think you would be better off looking for a girlfriend , loads of dating sites out there but your need photos for that too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Here goes

1. a name like crazed will scare women off

2. Virgin status - not many experienced women will want that

3. Travel within 15 miles - you expect to find this mythical beast at the bottom of your garden?

4. Cannot accommodate - no offer of hotel either

5. No pic and doesn't feel the need to have one either.

I think 5 is enough??

You are in a pool with hundreds of single guys, you are not doing much to sell yourself.....

Some constructive criticism is finally here. Here is what comes first to mind when I read that.

1. I didn't realise a name could be so off putting as its only a name at the end of the day. Not a reflection of who I am.

2. I understand that, but I still feel there's more chance of meeting someone on here. Rather than in person and you don't feel bad on here when you get rejected.

3. I work different hours everyday, every week and I am on a very low wage. So I can't really travel that far as I need to get ready for work the next day and not spend it on the road. 15 miles is how far I am willing to cover by myself. If someone is willing to meet me and take me somewhere like a hotel or back to theirs. If its within an hours drive from their than I'll be happy, but I doubt that will happen as women won't do that will they?

4. I can't accommodate as I live in a house full of people and there's always people here.

5. I have several photos in my private gallery and I send them to people I send a message to. I don't want people in my area knowing I am on this site and that's why my photos are on private.

I agree 5 things is enough and I can only change my name on here and in time, my accommodation. Other than that I don't think I can change anything else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Think you would be better off looking for a girlfriend , loads of dating sites out there but your need photos for that too

Women who don't use this site have come out and said they wouldn't get with one and I had assumed that maybe someone off here would as some people say they are enjoy it. I have got photos and would happily send them to anyone who asks for them and/or if I message someone I like the look of I will send them one. Also I just stated I can't accommodate due to not having my own place. Can't really change that anytime soon though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh and I was verified as I spoke to several people from this site, but they have deleted their account. So their verifications have been deleted from my profile.

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By *ollie_JCouple
over a year ago

London

Put your numbered reply into your profile

Seriously though, stick a picture up even if it's a headless shot, but be arty about it don't put your cock next to a tv remote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Profile is personality free and generic. Inject some personality into it and loose the stuff about being a virgin. It WILL NOT get you a sympathy shag and I've never heard of women on here trawling for virgins to deflower, it's a myth.

Why can't you put up a photo of yourself? The excuse that you don't want people to know you're on the site just isn't going to wash. No one cares, and even if they did miraculously recognise you then what are THEY doing here?? It doesn't have to be a face pic, a tasteful body shot not just taken in a mirror is fine. Just so people have an idea of what they'd be getting.

If you're not going to take any of the advice offered then expect no improvement in your situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh and I was verified as I spoke to several people from this site, but they have deleted their account. So their verifications have been deleted from my profile."

you still keep your green tick.. so you just put a lot of people off.. as honesty is valued

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Though I understand your inexperience and shyness it will be a massive turn off for many, I also understand your predicament with not being able to accommodate as I (sten) as in the same boat I also work shifts and have very little free cash. However there are other options out there, randomly messaging people and hoping for a reply is a soul destroying thing and will do your confidence no good whatsoever. Ok so what can you do? 1. Try the chat rooms they are very hard to get in with the crowd but try it for a week and you never know 2. Save for a bit and go to a social event, it will be the best place to meet hot and horny fabbers this will help you with your confidence too. Being a single guy here you need the patience of a saint and enough confidence to accept knock backs, even as a couple we get those. Persevere and try not to let it rule your life. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh and I was verified as I spoke to several people from this site, but they have deleted their account. So their verifications have been deleted from my profile.

you still keep your green tick.. so you just put a lot of people off.. as honesty is valued"

Busted!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"1. I didn't realise a name could be so off putting as its only a name at the end of the day. Not a reflection of who I am.

2. I understand that, but I still feel there's more chance of meeting someone on here. Rather than in person and you don't feel bad on here when you get rejected.

4. I can't accommodate as I live in a house full of people and there's always people here.

5. I have several photos in my private gallery and I send them to people I send a message to. I don't want people in my area knowing I am on this site and that's why my photos are on private.

I agree 5 things is enough and I can only change my name on here and in time, my accommodation. Other than that I don't think I can change anything else. "

1, It's not just a name, it's the first thing people see when you message them. Marketing 101, get a name that makes people want to read the message instead of deleting it.

2, Do you seriously go up to women in bars and say I am a sarcastic shy virgin how about it? You are 26 years old, you must have done something better to talk about by now!

3, Your answer here shows that you are extremely immature. Do you never get a day off? most of us meet up on Fridays and Saturdays as it's the weekend in most work lives. whenever your time off is you can travel. No women won't come and fetch you and pay for your hotel room to waste their time teaching you.

4, club nights and hotels are your solution.

5, Not good enough, photo on public does not need to identify you but does need to show something of interest. Others can do it why can't you?

Bottom line is you were told the reasons and your answers were very bad excuses rather than the "thanks, I will sort my self out" that a request for help should get when answered so thoughtfully.

you are about 5 years late growing up, get on with it! maybe harsh, but you did ask!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Though I understand your inexperience and shyness it will be a massive turn off for many, I also understand your predicament with not being able to accommodate as I (sten) as in the same boat I also work shifts and have very little free cash. However there are other options out there, randomly messaging people and hoping for a reply is a soul destroying thing and will do your confidence no good whatsoever. Ok so what can you do? 1. Try the chat rooms they are very hard to get in with the crowd but try it for a week and you never know 2. Save for a bit and go to a social event, it will be the best place to meet hot and horny fabbers this will help you with your confidence too. Being a single guy here you need the patience of a saint and enough confidence to accept knock backs, even as a couple we get those. Persevere and try not to let it rule your life. Good luck

I would like to add that if you truly want to stand out you will need some sort of Avatar it may not be a big thing for you but it will be for many on Fab, you could also add some of your interests to your profile something other than sex that you have the confidence and ability to talk about for hours. We posted in the forums a few months back about console games and we have found some really good friends as a result.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of good advice coming your way but it is noteworthy that you haven't changed your profile. Does that mean you are not receptive to the advise you asked for?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The first actual honest and nice comment that's actually been made on here. I do have a wide variety of hobbies. What I stated in my profile I was advised to do. So I give the impression that I am honest right from the start. Due to all the comments on here so far apart from yours. I feel like the forums aren't for me and if anyone disagrees with me. They can message me and we'll chat properly off the forums as what I put in my profile is what my situation is. Not what I am like as a person. Several people who I have spoken to from this site can actually back me up on that.

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

People on this thread have given you some fantastic advice and it's up to you now if you want to take heed and hopefully make a difference.

It's all very well asking for advice but if you honestly can't change ANYTHING and just keep coming up with excuses, people can't help you and your situation is unlikely to change, end of.

One thing I WILL add though: You're looking solely for single females and FF couples... On Fab that is the smallest pond with the least amount of fish which is already over-crowded with fishermen waiting with their tackle out, so that alone will take lots of time, effort and knockbacks, especially when they have their pick of the bunch.

- Amy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you, try and stay positive and maybe add some of you hobbies to your profile, maybe even change your display name to match one of your hobbies. You have been honest and true in your profile but as others have said, to them it reads negative lets see some of your humour in there, you have not deleted your profile yet as many do when they get what they see as negative feedback so see that as a positive, happy swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So basically you're ignoring anything you don't like hearing and are leaving the profile exactly as it is? Shall look forward to your future threads on exactly the same subject when you're still having no luck in a few weeks then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As what I put in my profile is what my situation is. Not what I am like as a person. Several people who I have spoken to from this site can actually back me up on that. "

Not going to message you, if you can't hack the forums when you ask for and receive good advice, that says a lot about you, not the forums.

You asked to be judged on information given, all we have is your profile, so perhaps it should say what you are like as a person? As Jodie says, if you are not going to follow the advice good luck with what no change brings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to seriously re-assess your sense of expectation and sense of entitlement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh and I was verified as I spoke to several people from this site, but they have deleted their account. So their verifications have been deleted from my profile.

you still keep your green tick.. so you just put a lot of people off.. as honesty is valued"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No. I have to re word it obviously as if I leave stuff out. I could be wasting people's time. However things needed to be added to show what I am like as a person. Such as hobbies, etc and letting my personality shine through as so far none of it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its when you meet someone, think you get on well, start thinking of them as friends, then they block you out of the blue , and your not sure why ,that you need to start worrying .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP I can see that you haven't liked some of the advice above but it is all spot on. Hope you take it on board but it's up to you. Change nothing and nothing changes. Ms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No profile picture is a start...

And the fact you say you're a virgin and shy is probably off putting. It says you don't know what you're doing, don't know what you like and meeting you is going to turn into a lesson.

Girls/women don't want shy, they want confidence but not cocky."

This is a great response..

However, most shy people usually look for someone similar who will go steady with, they aren't looking for a passing fling or a one night stand.

Think the OP is likely to be here for the wrong reasons?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its when you meet someone, think you get on well, start thinking of them as friends, then they block you out of the blue , and your not sure why ,that you need to start worrying .

The clue might be in the -start thinking of them as friends-statement. Maybe they felt you were becoming clingy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its when you meet someone, think you get on well, start thinking of them as friends, then they block you out of the blue , and your not sure why ,that you need to start worrying .

The clue might be in the -start thinking of them as friends-statement. Maybe they felt you were becoming clingy?"

Might of been, who knows.Anyway, going back to the Op,the advice might be develop a thick skin, especially if you are inexperianced.I have been swinging several years, and wouldnt normally let my guard down. So as someone so inexperianced as you say you are,may get easily hurt, be carfull, and take everything with a pinch of salt.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If people don't like to get with me because I am a virgin. I always take it with a pinch of salt as I know nearly everyone doesn't like that. Same with looks as I know everyone isn't attracted to all types of men. I have added stuff to my profile now so I hope that helps. I can't change my name as that would mean paying.

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By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham

"If people don't like to get with me because I am a virgin. I always take it with a pinch of salt as I know nearly everyone doesn't like that. Same with looks as I know everyone isn't attracted to all types of men. I have added stuff to my profile now so I hope that helps. I can't change my name as that would mean paying. "

Its a fiver

not really that much if the name is holding you back.

I personally dont like it...but Im not sure a swinging site is really the place for a 26 year old virgin.

Disclaimer...this is IMHO...other views are available

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, hope you have lots of fun Crazy man, and find what you are looking for.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well, hope you have lots of fun Crazy man, and find what you are looking for.

All I am looking for is fun/excitement and experience. Nothing else really. Thanks though

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By *b586Couple
over a year ago

pemberton twp

Op I have tried to private message you but got a message saying people of my sex are blocked. First time Ive gotten that message. Shocked is all I can say. I am the female from a couples profile.

Please re- read what you have written. Def agree with the others here. I prefer a profile with a public picture. Something? Body shot? I pass by most profiles with no picture. Everyone Fabs differently. Read sum other profiles, look at the pics. I can think of a few men from the forums that have great profiles. Creative, positive,witty profiles. Even being openminded, it's taken us time to meet people around here. (k)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Complaining in other threads about advice you were given here and the other similar thread you started won't do you any favours. Fair enough if you don't want advice but don't ask for it in the first place. People were genuinely trying to help you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All I am looking for is fun/excitement and experience. Nothing else really. Thanks though"

Try being fun and exciting, so far all I have seen is complaining...... Oh and maybe don't keep telling the whole world your a virgin, Just a thought

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