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Judgements

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By *ar From Saints OP   Couple
over a year ago

chepstow

I have been swinging for 4 years or so now and my husband and I are really happy in our relationship. This really works for us. I have no friends other than men I've met on here that I can talk to about things though but have confided in my sister as I thought she was really open minded.

I was going to introduce her to my 'boyfriend' on my birthday as we'd all planned a night out at a bar but she's just cancelled on me. It's really upset me because I thought she was fine with everything. AND it's my fucking birthday! I wanted to be with family more than anything and now she's cancelled to spend the weekend with friends I feel like she doesn't care.

If I can't talk to her about things then who can I trust? I just feel really lonely in all of this.

Does anyone else feel this way?

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By *mandvinceCouple
over a year ago

London

Aww dear..

I have a sister I confide in too, but do leave out certain details but do tell her of most of my adventures.. I kinda understand how you feel as before I couldn't really tell it to my vanilla friends.. Well maybe there's a few..

Anyway, my advice is how about try meeting up with other women on this site for friendship? I've met a couple of really nice ladies who I could talk about the lifestyle for hours without feeling like I'm being judged..

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By *ar From Saints OP   Couple
over a year ago

chepstow

Thank you for the reply. I'd really like that but I can't seem to find any women in my area who are interested in that.

Side note: if there are any women in the bristol/south wales area that would like to make friends I'd love to hear from you.

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By *exycleanerWoman
over a year ago

pontefract

never spoke about swinging to my sister

ever in all my years i did it with ex altho he did tell his brother.

but she isnt there for me anyway in whatever shape or form and that is was hurts like hell that ive nobody to confide

in about anything so really feel totally alone and thats why some days i struggle to cope xx

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By *ar From Saints OP   Couple
over a year ago

chepstow

Hi sexy cleaner

Thank you for the reply, I appreciate your honesty. I tried to message you privately but your age restrictions didn't allow it. It would be good to talk though, I think we could have some things in common. Message me if you like x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The swingers mindset is refined over a long period of time. You'll probably think that what you thought at the start now bears no resemblance to now.

We have two advantages over the 'Nilla's;

1) We have used that time to discover what swinging means to us.

2) We also have the experiences, good and bad that help us shape our thoughts.

A newly introduced loved one has neither of these elements and therefore will probably come up with a viewpoint based on fear, uncertainty and doubt. This reaction IMO is based upon confusion and a lack of knowledge in how to be there for you.

When she is allowed the time to discover that you don't get hurt she will begin to relax and regard it as a normal healthy aspect of your life.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have been swinging for 4 years or so now and my husband and I are really happy in our relationship. This really works for us. I have no friends other than men I've met on here that I can talk to about things though but have confided in my sister as I thought she was really open minded.

I was going to introduce her to my 'boyfriend' on my birthday as we'd all planned a night out at a bar but she's just cancelled on me. It's really upset me because I thought she was fine with everything. AND it's my fucking birthday! I wanted to be with family more than anything and now she's cancelled to spend the weekend with friends I feel like she doesn't care.

If I can't talk to her about things then who can I trust? I just feel really lonely in all of this.

Does anyone else feel this way?

"

Have you spoken to her since? Does she know how Hurt it has made you feel?

Perhaps you should tell her how important it is to you to be there?

Jon

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By *ar From Saints OP   Couple
over a year ago

chepstow

Thank you. My sister has known about my lifestyle for over 3 years now though. I thought by now she would be ready to meet someone. That is why I thought of now as a good time.Looks like I'll never be able to show anyone who I really am

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By *lleyCat1969Man
over a year ago

Folkestone

[Removed by poster at 04/06/13 15:12:06]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thank you. My sister has known about my lifestyle for over 3 years now though. I thought by now she would be ready to meet someone. That is why I thought of now as a good time.Looks like I'll never be able to show anyone who I really am "

Knowing and becoming involved are two very different things. You have asked your sister to meet a swinging partner and she has made it clear that she doesn't want to, you should respect that in my opinion. You have said that you want to be with your family and on this occasion you might have to accept that to do that you can't mix family and swinging life.

Can you arrange two celebrations?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you. My sister has known about my lifestyle for over 3 years now though. I thought by now she would be ready to meet someone. That is why I thought of now as a good time.Looks like I'll never be able to show anyone who I really am "

No-one knows who I really am. Some people know some things but no-one has the whole picture.

Having female mates off here to chat to sounds like a good idea. Let some steam off on the forums. People are pretty cool on here and give some good advice. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you. My sister has known about my lifestyle for over 3 years now though. I thought by now she would be ready to meet someone. That is why I thought of now as a good time.Looks like I'll never be able to show anyone who I really am

Knowing and becoming involved are two very different things. You have asked your sister to meet a swinging partner and she has made it clear that she doesn't want to, you should respect that in my opinion. You have said that you want to be with your family and on this occasion you might have to accept that to do that you can't mix family and swinging life.

Can you arrange two celebrations?"

I wonder whether there might have be an attempt to show sister what she is missing out by introducing her to swinging partner..............

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None of my family or friends know I'm on here and I have only got 2 close friends on here I confide in (both men) .. none of my friends would understand why I do this

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

My brother and my wife's adult sons know we swing, and respect our choice. A few of her vanilla friends know and all but one are the same. The odd one out thinks it's disgusting and the subject is never mentioned - not that we discuss the details with anyone else. The most we do is to tell our family and friends that we are not free some weekends as we are "having friends to stay" - they know what that means!

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