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Talking to partner about gender identity

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
21 weeks ago

Hey all,

I consider myself a crossdresser, but if find myself wanting to explore my gender identity more. Only caviot to this is I'm married with kids and shes doesn't know i dress.

How do I talk to her about it? Anyone else dealt with this?

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By *G LanaTV/TS
21 weeks ago

Gosport

I haven't dealt with this personally but lots of my friends have. If you find you need to, unfortunately, be ready for a bumpy ride as it is rarely easy. The good news is I do know a number of people whon have done so and found a way through it where the relationship survives and even in a couple of cases come out stronger. In others people have stayed together but the relationship has essentially become platonic.

For some taking it to professional help can help, so talking to a gender identity counsellor or a marriage counsellor, ideally it would be someone who does both but those seem relatively rare. Others have managed it themselves by talking openly and generally trying to steer it away from the more emotive issues. If you go down this line expect to be quiet aggressively challenged over lying to your partner for years, assumptions of infidelity and questions about your sexuality. Remember your partner will almost certainly be both shocked and hurt so would be responding at their best so try to give them extra leeway and accept that at times they may need space to think because you will have just run a wrecking ball through their understanding of your relationship.

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By *G LanaTV/TS
21 weeks ago

Gosport

wouldn't be responding at their best

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By *oonwitch_and_RainbowCouple (FF)
21 weeks ago

Bradford and Stockport

It's really difficult and a hard path. You have to be true to yourself but it might not be easy. There's a little bit about my experience on my old solo profile, Polly Chromatic. Wishing you good luck OP. Rainbow 🌈 xx

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By *enelope2UWoman
21 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances


"I haven't dealt with this personally but lots of my friends have. If you find you need to, unfortunately, be ready for a bumpy ride as it is rarely easy. The good news is I do know a number of people whon have done so and found a way through it where the relationship survives and even in a couple of cases come out stronger. In others people have stayed together but the relationship has essentially become platonic.

For some taking it to professional help can help, so talking to a gender identity counsellor or a marriage counsellor, ideally it would be someone who does both but those seem relatively rare. Others have managed it themselves by talking openly and generally trying to steer it away from the more emotive issues. If you go down this line expect to be quiet aggressively challenged over lying to your partner for years, assumptions of infidelity and questions about your sexuality. Remember your partner will almost certainly be both shocked and hurt so would be responding at their best so try to give them extra leeway and accept that at times they may need space to think because you will have just run a wrecking ball through their understanding of your relationship."

Well said

You also need to accept it in yourself and be honest to yourself before expecting someone else to accept it because for them they are going to have to get past the dishonesty.

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By *w funwifeWoman
21 weeks ago

near taunton

problem is your asking advice from people who have no clue about your wife ? only you know her so only you can guage the outcome ...

i imagine its a very hard subjet to talk about soecially if your not very open to each other about these things ..

wish you the best of luck tho x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
21 weeks ago

Thank you all for your advice I have alot to think about indeed x

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