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"Well, I know I am single, so maybe my contribution is not welcomed, but I do meet the male half of a couple, and have done for a few years now! I have met his wife, and their relationship is very strong, and I have never been under the delusion that it is more than nsa and neither have they/he, so maybe it has more to do with the person they are meeting? Just a thought? " It can be difficult getting a meet when your the male half of a couple, even with permission. | |||
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"I meet alone regardless of my relationship status.... the simple fact is....most guys WILL behave differently when there is another man present, with most its a respect thing, for others...its fear of overstepping bounderies. Men are more willing to let go of their inhabitions and explore mutual desires if the meet is on a one to one.... If you and your partner totally trust each other and are honest and frank about any worries you may have, then its really just a matter of taking the plunge and having healthy de-brief-ing session with each other afterwards... it really does fuel some mega hot sex sessions! " Thats the thing, Ive said if i wasnt there im sure the sex would be even better for them both, like you said having someone there watching will distract you from the job in hand. We do both trust each other, the issue is my own anxiety with following through with it. From what I gather its totally normal to feel this way and most men who have a hotwife that plays away feel the same as I do about it, the trick is to feed of that feeling and use it as a driver. | |||
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"No im sure it is just nsa sex, not sure what you mean by it having more to do with the person though? " Ok, second try! They have both complimented me on the fact that they wish everyone understood the swingers rule book with regards to nsa sex, like I have. I have never been under any elusion that my 'relationship' with him is anything more than nsa, and yes I have been seeing him for over 2 years, 'but' they do have other friends (couples) who tend to become quite jealous, if he has met a single female! (that would be myself lol) I hope that makes things a little clearer? | |||
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"How well do you know the guy , and how much do you trust him ? To my cost ,my wife met a guy alone we'd played with originally as a 3. He told her he loved her and wanted to be with her all the time. Flattery got him everywhere in the end. Imo , don't do it !" Oh wow, sorry it didnt work out for you. We dont know him that well at all so theres no danger of that happening, its purely a sex thing | |||
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"yeah...its normal to feel that way, there is no way to safe guard the way you are going to feel, perhaps if your partner would video the first few meets, it would help you feel more a part of the fun... this turned on my bf no end, he would have a raging hard on at work because he knew what i was doing at that moment and he was getting to watch it later with me...he loves it when i meet others, everything new i learn, i take home and try on my bf, fantastic way to show your partner how much you love and trust them. well done both of you, i know how hard it is to get those nasty jealous feelings out the way! " Thankyou, I do love and trust her with all my heart as she does me which is part of the reason why this is such a buzz to think about. I know how exciting it can be to have 'new' sex especially with your partners consent and I want to give her the freedom to explore it all., I just need to come to terms with my own inner jealous feelings as I know she will be coming home to me. | |||
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"yeah...its normal to feel that way, there is no way to safe guard the way you are going to feel, perhaps if your partner would video the first few meets, it would help you feel more a part of the fun... this turned on my bf no end, he would have a raging hard on at work because he knew what i was doing at that moment and he was getting to watch it later with me...he loves it when i meet others, everything new i learn, i take home and try on my bf, fantastic way to show your partner how much you love and trust them. well done both of you, i know how hard it is to get those nasty jealous feelings out the way! Thankyou, I do love and trust her with all my heart as she does me which is part of the reason why this is such a buzz to think about. I know how exciting it can be to have 'new' sex especially with your partners consent and I want to give her the freedom to explore it all., I just need to come to terms with my own inner jealous feelings as I know she will be coming home to me. " the quickest and most painless way is for both of you to arrange a solo meet on same night, or the next week, so you can experience it from both sides!! thats the einstein way to do it lol! | |||
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"One idea I had though is what about if she were to be with the guy but you weren't in the room? There would be a feeling of separation and maybe it would give you a clue as to how you might feel if she were away completely with him." You think the same as my wife, she also suggested playing alone but in the house initially, perhaps I go upstairs or take a walk to the shops, might make it an easier transition. | |||
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"the quickest and most painless way is for both of you to arrange a solo meet on same night, or the next week, so you can experience it from both sides!! thats the einstein way to do it lol! " Only problem is I dont play unless its with the male visitors. | |||
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"It is clear from your posts that you aren't totally happy with the idea. In fact your lack of enthusiasm is so clear you sound opposed to the idea. So why on earth are you even considering it?" | |||
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"It is clear from your posts that you aren't totally happy with the idea. In fact your lack of enthusiasm is so clear you sound opposed to the idea. So why on earth are you even considering it?" I agree with this, you sound as if you are talking your self into it because your partner wants it. If you have even one shred of doubt don't do it, once done it can't be undone. | |||
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"It is clear from your posts that you aren't totally happy with the idea. In fact your lack of enthusiasm is so clear you sound opposed to the idea. So why on earth are you even considering it? " Its not that im opposed to it, more that its something new that has a lot of emotion attached to it, surely every couple who do this must have the same reservations and feelings of anxiety? | |||
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"the quickest and most painless way is for both of you to arrange a solo meet on same night, or the next week, so you can experience it from both sides!! thats the einstein way to do it lol! Only problem is I dont play unless its with the male visitors. " Gender of the person meet shouldn't make any difference...the experience kinda brings out the same feelings and emotions regardless of wether you meet male or female! | |||
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"It is clear from your posts that you aren't totally happy with the idea. In fact your lack of enthusiasm is so clear you sound opposed to the idea. So why on earth are you even considering it? Its not that im opposed to it, more that its something new that has a lot of emotion attached to it, surely every couple who do this must have the same reservations and feelings of anxiety? " Couldn't say but you must go with what you feel not what you think others feel in the same situation. This is what makes me think you aren't sure, you're trying to check if other people feel the same way you do. | |||
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"It is clear from your posts that you aren't totally happy with the idea. In fact your lack of enthusiasm is so clear you sound opposed to the idea. So why on earth are you even considering it?" | |||
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"It is clear from your posts that you aren't totally happy with the idea. In fact your lack of enthusiasm is so clear you sound opposed to the idea. So why on earth are you even considering it? Its not that im opposed to it, more that its something new that has a lot of emotion attached to it, surely every couple who do this must have the same reservations and feelings of anxiety? Couldn't say but you must go with what you feel not what you think others feel in the same situation. This is what makes me think you aren't sure, you're trying to check if other people feel the same way you do. " | |||
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"I guess to some degree you're right, ultimately it is such a huge step in a relationship that its only normal to seek advice from other like minded people. We have talked some more and decided that its safer from an emotional point of view that the first solo time will be in our home, that way I can always look in if I feel left out. It is clear from your posts that you aren't totally happy with the idea. In fact your lack of enthusiasm is so clear you sound opposed to the idea. So why on earth are you even considering it? Its not that im opposed to it, more that its something new that has a lot of emotion attached to it, surely every couple who do this must have the same reservations and feelings of anxiety? Couldn't say but you must go with what you feel not what you think others feel in the same situation. This is what makes me think you aren't sure, you're trying to check if other people feel the same way you do. " Whatever happens I hope its the best outcome for all of you. | |||
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"One idea I had though is what about if she were to be with the guy but you weren't in the room? There would be a feeling of separation and maybe it would give you a clue as to how you might feel if she were away completely with him. You think the same as my wife, she also suggested playing alone but in the house initially, perhaps I go upstairs or take a walk to the shops, might make it an easier transition." I think this could be the way forward for us also. We may try separate room swapping and see how we feel...little steps | |||
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"The thing that gets me here is, the guy joined you knowing you were a couple and there would be some bi action. He and ur mrs get on well, he comes back and now is uncomfy with you there.. Have I understood this right? So maybe that's what is niggling u deep down the fact that he hasn't stuck to ur original agreement?" May have hit the nail on the head there, I felt like a spare part while they were together and with him going soft when I went close just made it all feel uncomfortable. I think the thing that's niggling is how much RG likes having fun with him and I think the request to see him alone just hit me by surpise. | |||
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"One idea I had though is what about if she were to be with the guy but you weren't in the room? There would be a feeling of separation and maybe it would give you a clue as to how you might feel if she were away completely with him. You think the same as my wife, she also suggested playing alone but in the house initially, perhaps I go upstairs or take a walk to the shops, might make it an easier transition. I think this could be the way forward for us also. We may try separate room swapping and see how we feel...little steps" This sounds like a good idea, ease yourself into it. The main problem I have is I'm faithful to her, we only play with men so it would be hard for me to swap | |||
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"The thing that gets me here is, the guy joined you knowing you were a couple and there would be some bi action. He and ur mrs get on well, he comes back and now is uncomfy with you there.. Have I understood this right? So maybe that's what is niggling u deep down the fact that he hasn't stuck to ur original agreement? May have hit the nail on the head there, I felt like a spare part while they were together and with him going soft when I went close just made it all feel uncomfortable. I think the thing that's niggling is how much RG likes having fun with him and I think the request to see him alone just hit me by surpise. " Sometimes straight guys say they are bi just to get to meet the female half of the couple. Your posts make it sound like she's asking for something outside of what you have agreed. You said you are faithful to her as you only meet guys- in my mind that implies that she is being unfaithful. I hope you don't take that the wrong way. I think you both need a chat and be honest. If you're not happy, say so. X | |||
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"One idea I had though is what about if she were to be with the guy but you weren't in the room? There would be a feeling of separation and maybe it would give you a clue as to how you might feel if she were away completely with him. You think the same as my wife, she also suggested playing alone but in the house initially, perhaps I go upstairs or take a walk to the shops, might make it an easier transition. I think this could be the way forward for us also. We may try separate room swapping and see how we feel...little steps This sounds like a good idea, ease yourself into it. The main problem I have is I'm faithful to her, we only play with men so it would be hard for me to swap" OP - sorry I've not spotted your thread until just now. Ruby and I have had a similar situation recently which could have caused very serious problems between the two of us if we hadn't stopped, taken a breather from everything on here for a few weeks and talked it through THOROUGHLY. That is the key to this - TALKING. Underneath everything, it feels to me that something in your relationship has changed, but neither of you has yet stopped and said to the other 'Can we talk..?'. You have said that, as a coupe on Fabs, you were only looking for bi guys so that both of you could play TOGETHER. Now RG is wanting to meet what is potentially a straight guy on her own (and the point made by someone else that straight guys often pose as bi just to have sex with the fem is, sorry to say, true) and that means the status quo has shifted. It is no longer what it was when you joined Fabs and put your profile up there. Before you go further, you need to have that conversation. Maybe it is just that RG wants a different kind of meet now, specially if this has given her more confidence. But I think YOU are worried there may be something more to it than that. So talk.... Ted. | |||
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"Hi RG here.....thought I'd find out what everyone's advice was on here. Thanks for everyone's messages. Most have hint the nail on the head dirk isn't happy or sure this is the step he wants us to take......I may add that dirk is the one who suggested a while back I could maybe meet alone in the future but that was with someone else who we were both comfortable with. I have told dirk to forget it, it would not bother me in the slightest if I didn't see the guy again and if he's uncomfortable with it I'd rather we didn't. I don't want either of us to do something we are not happy with. Dirk is the one who drives our swinging, he hunts for men and rhen shows me the good ones. my work life is so busy I would never find the time or be bothered to find any meets but I enjoy them when we get a good one. As many have said I feel this is a matter we need to work out between us.....thanks again and I'm no doubt dirk will post the outcome at some point. " xx | |||
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"Hi RG here.....thought I'd find out what everyone's advice was on here. Thanks for everyone's messages. Most have hint the nail on the head dirk isn't happy or sure this is the step he wants us to take......I may add that dirk is the one who suggested a while back I could maybe meet alone in the future but that was with someone else who we were both comfortable with. I have told dirk to forget it, it would not bother me in the slightest if I didn't see the guy again and if he's uncomfortable with it I'd rather we didn't. I don't want either of us to do something we are not happy with. Dirk is the one who drives our swinging, he hunts for men and rhen shows me the good ones. my work life is so busy I would never find the time or be bothered to find any meets but I enjoy them when we get a good one. As many have said I feel this is a matter we need to work out between us.....thanks again and I'm no doubt dirk will post the outcome at some point. " | |||
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"Forgot to say as your questioning to do it... dont. If you have to question it then its not right in my opinion x" This! | |||
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"Just wanted some advice on our current situation. We had our visitor yesterday, it the second time we have seen him now and Him and RG really have hit it off, she loves havin sex with him and he obviously likes her.. We noticed yesterday when I played with him that he went soft indicating he wasn't comfortable with me playing as well. We did discuss originally about the bi side and he seemed ok with it but after yesterday's visit its obvious its not for him. I found myself sitting and watching. We have talked about the possibility of her seeing other men without me there, tonight she asked if she could go and visit him while he is away with work an staying in a hotel. How many on here play without their partner present? And how do you deal with the feeling of anxiety? Don't get me wrong the fantasy turns me on but the reality might be different. " I'm not part of a swinging couple, so take from this what you will. I'm good at reading between the lines from less information than you've given: you do not seem 100% happy with what's being suggested. Both of you need to be secure and happy to maintain your relationship, so I have to ask: why on earth are you contemplating something you're not happy and/or sure about?!! | |||
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"It is clear from your posts that you aren't totally happy with the idea. In fact your lack of enthusiasm is so clear you sound opposed to the idea. So why on earth are you even considering it?" Couldn't agree more! | |||
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"It is clear from your posts that you aren't totally happy with the idea. In fact your lack of enthusiasm is so clear you sound opposed to the idea. So why on earth are you even considering it?" This is all about choices and I agree that if one of you is against it then it's not what you should be doing! | |||
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"One idea I had though is what about if she were to be with the guy but you weren't in the room? There would be a feeling of separation and maybe it would give you a clue as to how you might feel if she were away completely with him. You think the same as my wife, she also suggested playing alone but in the house initially, perhaps I go upstairs or take a walk to the shops, might make it an easier transition. I think this could be the way forward for us also. We may try separate room swapping and see how we feel...little steps This sounds like a good idea, ease yourself into it. The main problem I have is I'm faithful to her, we only play with men so it would be hard for me to swap" OP from what I am reading here is you really love your wife and she is only one for you ? Now if your not happy you tell her as it could split you two up ....... if she go do it how you going to feel ? And if you was having other woman doing it too maybe it would be ok ... its a one way road , It should be two . You need to feel happy with things. | |||
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"I know playing seperately is something some couples are comfortable with but for us its a def no no. " Same here | |||
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