FabSwingers.com forum: Best ways to say no

By *ewCoupleHX OP Couple
24 weeks ago

Halifax

1. Read and delete

2. Read, set to unread and leave it at that

3. Don't read, delete

4. Reply with a polite "No, thanks"

5. Reply with something like "Not quite what we are looking for"

6. Reply with "We only find one of you attractive"

7. Something else

Personally, we are happy with no reply and if someone deletes a message, it is a sign to either add a note or block and move on.

We don't want to appear rude by not replying but sometimes when we do, we get questions like "can you explain why we are not suited"

What's everyone preference regarding receiving and dishing rejection !!!

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By *iss DevilWoman
24 weeks ago

Bedford

If you wish, reply with "thanks, but no, thanks" or similar and block, saves the "oh, why don't you give me a try" pleading messages or abuse. Or just block and delete straight away if you're not interested or the message is vile. If you just delete, or reply and delete, they can still message you in the future.

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By *hefoxesofpenCouple
24 weeks ago

chester

We do 3.

We have done variations of your list and some of the time, by being polite, it exposes us to vitriol back.

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By *empestuous TemptressWoman
24 weeks ago

Neither here nor there

If you say you're not interested you get a " but why " ....

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By *enelope2UWoman
24 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

"1. Read and delete

2. Read, set to unread and leave it at that

3. Don't read, delete

4. Reply with a polite "No, thanks"

5. Reply with something like "Not quite what we are looking for"

6. Reply with "We only find one of you attractive"

7. Something else

Personally, we are happy with no reply and if someone deletes a message, it is a sign to either add a note or block and move on.

We don't want to appear rude by not replying but sometimes when we do, we get questions like "can you explain why we are not suited"

What's everyone preference regarding receiving and dishing rejection !!!"

Block... all other messages get nowhere because most dont read or comprehend written statements.

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By *dinburghWomanWoman
24 weeks ago

Edinburgh

I delete then block when they come back with either why or I’m better than the guys that you’ve met

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By *abulincsCouple
24 weeks ago

near a bridge

We reply to all if not for us tell them so manners cost nothing,treat others as you like to be treated is out opinion,but we often just get ignored lol

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By *utty200Couple
24 weeks ago

nearby

Don't really see a need for a " only find 1 of you attractive" message , if you're not interested they don't really need to know that , we just normally say thanks for message but we wouldn't be looking to meet and wish them luck

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By *uliette500Woman
24 weeks ago

Hull

"We reply to all if not for us tell them so manners cost nothing,treat others as you like to be treated is out opinion,but we often just get ignored lol"

Are you aware that if you reply to someone and then later change your message filters the filter will not work on them as you have interacted with them previously.

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By *rcadian110Couple
24 weeks ago

Barnsley

For us it's read and just leave it if they obviously havnt even read our profile. Tried polite responses but the toxicity we got back was horrible so now we Dont bother even replying to the obvious chancers

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By *GoodGirlGemxCouple
24 weeks ago

Scotland

"We reply to all if not for us tell them so manners cost nothing,treat others as you like to be treated is out opinion,but we often just get ignored lol"

We will reply to a polite thought out message unless it’s clear that our profile has been ignored. However messages saying “meet now” or overtly sexual messages we generally delete without a reply. It’s amazing how quickly you can go from a Goddess to a stuck up fat bitch 🙈🤣

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By *os19Man
24 weeks ago

Edmonton

Option #1 for me.

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By *aomilatteCouple
24 weeks ago

Midlands

No reply is a polite "no thanks". It's in Fabs FAQs and it's really simple.

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By *aandLoCouple
24 weeks ago

Southampton

"1. Read and delete

2. Read, set to unread and leave it at that

3. Don't read, delete

4. Reply with a polite "No, thanks"

5. Reply with something like "Not quite what we are looking for"

6. Reply with "We only find one of you attractive"

7. Something else

Personally, we are happy with no reply and if someone deletes a message, it is a sign to either add a note or block and move on.

We don't want to appear rude by not replying but sometimes when we do, we get questions like "can you explain why we are not suited"

What's everyone preference regarding receiving and dishing rejection !!!"

A decent message gets a tactful 'not looking to connect now.' which I suppose is either No. 4 or No.7

A lazy 1-2 word message is No.1

We'd never use No. 6 as it's unnecessarily cruel in our opinion.

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By *ualityNotQuantityUKCouple
24 weeks ago

Derby

Spend as much time on the reply as the sender did sending the original message. So for one word messages or obvious cut and paste paragraphs, instant delete. Same goes for people who obviously never bothered reading our profile. Rude, presumptuous or just damn right inappropriate first messages, delete and block. Civil, courteous and intelligent messages get a response even if it's a "no thanks".

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By *inkPomPomWoman
24 weeks ago

Isle of Man

No thanks, delete, block

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By *rasshopper201Man
24 weeks ago

kendal

Whats wrong with no thanks it’s quick and simple and more importantly polite after all some do make the effort to write a nice message for me to just delete it and block is ignorant and lazy that’s why I always try and say something back if they come back to you with abuse block and report

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By *enelope2UWoman
24 weeks ago

Doesn't matter cant block distances

"Whats wrong with no thanks it’s quick and simple and more importantly polite after all some do make the effort to write a nice message for me to just delete it and block is ignorant and lazy that’s why I always try and say something back if they come back to you with abuse block and report "

Because its ignorant and lazy to message without reading a profile so why offer further courtesy when a message isnt appropriate or is obviosly a waste of time..

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By *entenTeaCouple
24 weeks ago

Buckley North Wales

It depends on the message. If, they have clearly not bothered to read our profile, then used text speak and have appalling grammar. Our reaction could be positively acerbic.

Sometimes, we will just say no thanks.

Or just: read, ignore and delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
24 weeks ago

Ive replied with a sorry not for us and some move on and some reply again. If they do i just deleate it again. On 3rd message i block them

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By *ickD80Man
23 weeks ago

Wolverhampton

If you read the message and don’t reply then they get the message, there’s no need to reply saying ‘no thanks’ or anything like that. Personally, i don’t get many replies so when i do get a notification telling me i’ve got a reply it gets my hopes up and 9 times out of 10 it’s followed by crushing disappointment when i see that it’s a message saying they’re not interested. The level of disappointment and feeling of rejection is much less when there isn’t a reply at all rather than a not interested reply. Maybe even say in your profile that no reply to a message is a polite ‘no thanks’ so then the people who bother to read your profile will know the craic.

Reading and then marking it unread is the worst thing you can do because then it just feels like you’re ignoring them and no one likes to be ignored. After i send a message i keep checking to see if it’s been read and while it’s unread there’s still hope that it could be one of the few messages that receives a positive response. While the message remains unread the hope remains but if you read a message and then mark it unread you’re initially giving people false hope and eventually making them feel ignored and irrelevant.

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By *GoodGirlGemxCouple
23 weeks ago

Scotland

"If you read the message and don’t reply then they get the message, there’s no need to reply saying ‘no thanks’ or anything like that. Personally, i don’t get many replies so when i do get a notification telling me i’ve got a reply it gets my hopes up and 9 times out of 10 it’s followed by crushing disappointment when i see that it’s a message saying they’re not interested. The level of disappointment and feeling of rejection is much less when there isn’t a reply at all rather than a not interested reply. Maybe even say in your profile that no reply to a message is a polite ‘no thanks’ so then the people who bother to read your profile will know the craic.

We use the mark as unread option as we aren’t always online at the same time so it helps us keep track of messages so we can read and answer them together

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By *iscombobulated1523Couple
23 weeks ago

Worcestershire

We do number 5&7

Polite messages get a polite reply

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By *issmorganWoman
23 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

If they haven't read my profile, I just delete any message.

If they have and it's an ok message, I'll say thanks but no thanks, then block. To save any why not or abuse.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
23 weeks ago

your bed

Most of the time we just don't have the time. It's been June since we last went swinging, time just runs away with itself.

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By *ctionSandwichCouple
23 weeks ago

Newcastle under Lyme

We just don't reply and delete. If someone's profile picture is awful we won't even read the message.

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By *ilblueandlilredCouple
23 weeks ago

Felixstowe

We are very new to Fab, and to be honest we get a lot of picture hunters or people that won’t show their face until we just stop speaking.

There has to be some sort of mutual attraction, but when it comes to boundaries being crossed or pushy people, we simply say “I’m sorry, I don’t think you are for us”.

Seems to work, although some people get really angry about that

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By *uenevereWoman
23 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

It depends.

On the couple profile we don't get many messages. If it's someone we don't know and chat with and we're not interested we send usually say something like, "thanks for the message but you're not what we're looking for. All the best".

On this profile the responses vary depending on my mood and the nature of the initial message.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
23 weeks ago

Central

I try to block and delete the inappropriate

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By *og and MuseCouple
23 weeks ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Number three works best for us most of the time you don’t need to read the whole message, the profile pic & the first few words is enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Definitely just block

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By *m3232Man
23 weeks ago

maidenhead

1 or 4 is fine with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

Depends which response matches the tone of their message to start with.

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By * and BCouple
23 weeks ago

Durham

"We reply to all if not for us tell them so manners cost nothing,treat others as you like to be treated is out opinion,but we often just get ignored lol

Are you aware that if you reply to someone and then later change your message filters the filter will not work on them as you have interacted with them previously. "

That's where the block button comes into action. You said no thanks, which we do or state they didn't read our profile, if they continue to ask why and all that.... Push that button, woohoo job done

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

"Not interested sorry, take care x "... that's it

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By *tiflers mumWoman
23 weeks ago

leeds

I don't think it matters

You will always offend folks

If you read a message and get in with your day you get, what do you think. I'm processing what I want to do.

Delete no reply id rude apparently

No thanks not my type is rude

So I deal with each message individually

If I read a dirty disgusting message I just delete. I wish deleted without being read was still an update.

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By *ir-spunk-alotMan
23 weeks ago

Southern England

Personally as a single gent I prefer to be told thanks but no thanks. I'm a grown up and can accept I'm not everyones cup of tea. But I completely understand ignore and delete as from what I've heard alot of men can't handle rejection and get abusive. Twats.

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By (user no longer on site)
23 weeks ago

I always give a polite no thank you reply xx

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By *CBoyTV/TS
23 weeks ago

Rhondda Fawr

I try to reply to all messages and if im not interested I find it best to keep it simple ie thanks but not interested. I dont block unless they start pestering.

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By *eautifully TwistedWoman
23 weeks ago

Telford

If they've obviously not read my profile I'm just deleting. If they've read it then I'll reply with not what in looking for or something like that.

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By *ouple_For_BuddyCouple
23 weeks ago

Newport

We have found it best just to delete because many think that they will be able to change our minds!

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By *layfullsamMan
23 weeks ago

Solihull

No, no no no no, no no no no, yes.

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