FabSwingers.com forum: Tricky situation!

By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

So I'm in a bit of a tricky situation and I was wondering if anyone has any (constructive) advice. I'm in a great relationship but I'm on here because there are a couple of facets to my 'turn-ons' that I'm just not comfortable discussing with my other half. I'm sure many will regard me as weird but I'm rather turned on by women's farts. So I've created a profile on here and tried to explain my situation as best I can.

My problem is, because of my need to be totally discreet I can't upload face pics on here, nor do I want to upload pictures of just my cock, which I think most women would find a turn off (not my cock of course, the presence of pictures of it!). I'm photo-verified and I'm polite and well spoken but I rarely get replies, especially from females. Now I'm sure the farts thing puts a lot off as it conjures images of a fat sweaty man wanking behind his computer (which I am very definitely not!) but I was under the impression that this is a very open minded community, does anyone have any helpful suggestions?

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Well in regards to the photo thing I'm sure there is more to you than your face and cock??

As for the farting thing... I had a message from a guy into similar a few days ago, maybe you could fart on each other??

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

Don't worry. Some people do have a fascination with wind, but it'll pass.

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

Haha thanks but the farting thing only applies to you ladies! Yes maybe I need to think more creatively! Difficult though, I'm quite self conscious about my body... I do have good legs though! Maybe a sexy leg! Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Persevere you will come up trumps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about a bum shot?

Or for discretion purposes - hide your face behind a can of beans?

Think creative!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ms here. I like to see erotic pics. Shirt unbuttoned, tie loosened, nice chest or bum pic that kind of thing. Cock pics are boring imo. Try not to worry about being body conscious. Personality counts for more with a lot of ladies. Good luck.

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

HA! oh the irony, I'm not sure ladies would see a picture of an arse as my profile picture and think "hey who's this guy?" The beans are an option though...

I can see where this thread is heading... down the toilet (thought I'd get it in before anyone else!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HA! oh the irony, I'm not sure ladies would see a picture of an arse as my profile picture and think "hey who's this guy?" The beans are an option though...

I can see where this thread is heading... down the toilet (thought I'd get it in before anyone else!)"

Seriously bud - have you never seen the reaction when Funky Monkey posts in a forum thread?

Knickers get moist and start warming ankles across the land - and there's never anything on show BUT his bum!!

*except of course on a Thursday!

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By *lam rockerMan
over a year ago

Tain

phew!

I thought with that user name that you had a fetish for balding American billionaires in bad wigs.

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

Good Christ no! How unfortunate, I hadn't considered that connotation when I created my account! A rethink is needed!

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By *ercedes62Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

"phew!

I thought with that user name that you had a fetish for balding American billionaires in bad wigs."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"phew!

I thought with that user name that you had a fetish for balding American billionaires in bad wigs.

Or perma-tanned, fame hungry, shopaholic, tall blondes who've been under the knife more times than a chessemongers most used cheesboard!

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

Haha thanks folks! Oh what a burden it is to find something like this such a turn on! But seriously, do people think a picture of my bottom is a good idea? (All be it an excellent bottom if I do say so myself!) I think i need to be creative, ladies already run a mile at the thought of it so I need to tackle it in a sensitive way... or am I just thinking about it too much?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While I certainly don't want to put you off this site, your kink is a little unusual and I'd have thought you may have difficulty meeting your needs on here.

Of course I could be wrong and in fact *I* could be the odd one out in not being turned on by passing gas.

You might be better served looking at sites that cater to more unusual fetishes. You could try googling fetlife as a starting point?

Good luck whatever.

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

Thanks Jenny,

It is an odd one, the problem with other fetish sites is from past experience they seem to be focused mainly on (what I consider) the more hardcore stuff. I'm not into bondage, I don't like being humiliated and I'm certainly not into pain. Without going into too much detail, for me it's about the intimacy and naughtiness surrounding it. The very fact that 'girls don't fart' is part of why I like it.

Either way, I think I'll relax about it, I'm sure someone will pop up at some point, even if they're not necessarily into the same thing. Everyone here seems lovely and very open minded otherwise I'd have been chased away with pitchforks already!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sum ppl come upwith ( fetishes ).

This ( thread ) has 2 b the best so far i've read.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Thanks Jenny,

Lol. I'm not into the whole fet scene really but give me a leather gimp suit, ball gag and a good thrashing any day of the week. My ex farted in my face one. So I punched him in the balls. He never did it again!! Lol.

OP I don't fancy your chances much but hope you find what your looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you wanting front bottom or regular trumps ?

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

I'm a fan of both!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable discussing this with your partner but the greatest compliment you can pay a loved one in my opinion is to make yourself vulnerable to them. Have you got reason to think she would baulk at this because I feel it would be far better for you and your relationship if you could at least try and include her in it. Otherwise I forsee a lifetime of secrecy ahead of you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Relax her stand under a tree talk about wind under a willow

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

You do speak the truth, Sadly my gf is very 'vanilla' it took me a year to ease her into letting me give her oral so I think dropping something like this on her could ruin what we have. I know a lifetime of secrecy isn't ideal and could be damaging, but for the moment, I think it's the only option. Maybe one day I'll come clean!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HA! oh the irony, I'm not sure ladies would see a picture of an arse as my profile picture and think "hey who's this guy?" The beans are an option though...

I can see where this thread is heading... down the toilet (thought I'd get it in before anyone else!)

Seriously bud - have you never seen the reaction when Funky Monkey posts in a forum thread?

Knickers get moist and start warming ankles across the land - and there's never anything on show BUT his bum!!

*except of course on a Thursday!

Why what happens on Thursdays? Will check tomorow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the bottom of my heart.. Thank you for all the contributions from everyone

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"You do speak the truth, Sadly my gf is very 'vanilla' it took me a year to ease her into letting me give her oral so I think dropping something like this on her could ruin what we have. I know a lifetime of secrecy isn't ideal and could be damaging, but for the moment, I think it's the only option. Maybe one day I'll come clean! "

This is not a judgement or criticism of you just trying to be constructive but you might want to think about the long term effects this will have on you and your relationship not to mention your partner. If you were willing to spend a year getting her to accept oral sex couldn't you make a start on this?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Start cooking her dinner and include foods designed to increase flatulence, perhaps rate, volume and, as a treat to your olfaction fixation, keep the windows closed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex farted in my face one. So I punched him in the balls. He never did it again!! Lol. "

My ex farted once while I was going down on her. The shock wave broke my jaw in three places and I lost a tooth.

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

No I appreciate your input, I totally get where you're coming from, it's not something I could just come out with, I'd have to go for a very gentle approach! It's not totally out of the question though... sometimes I wish I had a fetish for shoes or s&m!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My ex farted in my face one. So I punched him in the balls. He never did it again!! Lol.

My ex farted once while I was going down on her. The shock wave broke my jaw in three places and I lost a tooth."

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"My ex farted in my face one. So I punched him in the balls. He never did it again!! Lol.

My ex farted once while I was going down on her. The shock wave broke my jaw in three places and I lost a tooth."

Lol!! My coffee just came out my nose x

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By *arnaclebillMan
over a year ago

Robin Hood County

"So I'm in a bit of a tricky situation and I was wondering if anyone has any (constructive) advice. I'm in a great relationship but I'm on here because there are a couple of facets to my 'turn-ons' that I'm just not comfortable discussing with my other half. I'm sure many will regard me as weird but I'm rather turned on by women's farts. So I've created a profile on here and tried to explain my situation as best I can.

I thought women NEVER farted. Virtually all the women I know will never admit to farting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it particularly erotic if the lady does a particularly wet sharty one?

Or are you more into the Krakatoa thunder clap type?

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

HA!

Hmm, I feel it's not fair to discriminate against any particular expulsion, but I must say I do have rather a penchant for the modest cheeky 'toot' as opposed to a 'spluttering bumsplosion'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This thread is brilliant

Cannot see properly because of tears of laughter streaming out of eyes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HA!

Hmm, I feel it's not fair to discriminate against any particular expulsion, but I must say I do have rather a penchant for the modest cheeky 'toot' as opposed to a 'spluttering bumsplosion'

I see...more of a fan of a modest bottom burping poot?

How about the smell? Suphurous eggy or the ones that smell like the bins at the back of the Co-Op?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't worry. Some people do have a fascination with wind, but it'll pass."

Oh im sorry cos i know i shouldnt laugh....but that was funny

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

Haha, the smell is a tricky one, it depends entirely on my mood... and a woman's dietary preferences...

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Haha, the smell is a tricky one, it depends entirely on my mood... and a woman's dietary preferences...

I have to say OP, all credit to you for posting this thread in the first place and even more credit to you for taking the jokes and general ribbing on the chin! Xx

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By *ICEFITMan
over a year ago

dundee

Can of beans haha classic!? He gonna have to feed then to her hehe

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

Ah I'm a tough cookie and I'm very easy going, one never get's anywhere by taking things to heart and too seriously! It's all good fun and everyone seems nice enough! I was worried that I'd just get a tonne of abuse and chased from here by an angry mob with pitchforks! Thankfully it's actually being very helpful... otherwise I'd fly like the wind...

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Ah I'm a tough cookie and I'm very easy going, one never get's anywhere by taking things to heart and too seriously! It's all good fun and everyone seems nice enough! I was worried that I'd just get a tonne of abuse and chased from here by an angry mob with pitchforks! Thankfully it's actually being very helpful... otherwise I'd fly like the wind..."

Haha!! Well I'm glad it's gone well x

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By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham

I think you would be better served on a bona fide fetish site...but good luck finding what you seek.

There was a bloke on a forum on another site Im on with exactly the same thing but his fetish was 'smell specific'

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

Wow, 'smell-specific'? I'm far less picky! I'm just a bit scared of proper fetish sites, because my 'thing' is in no way related to bdsm or any of the 'traditional' kinks. I'm just looking for a normal bit of fun where the odd fart is invited to the party! (By that I don't mean geriatrics...)

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By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham

A fetish site is just that....for fetishes of which BDSM is simply one of thousands.

There are BDSM sites also but the well known fet site is like Facebook for kinksters

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By *uncouple981Couple
over a year ago

ayrshire

If I were you I would start making your girlfriends dinner using lots of beans, cabbage etc. if she lets one rip then just laugh about it and say I bet you can't do that again. Just build it up from there eventually getting to the god you will think I'm crazy but your actually turning me on doing that.

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

"A fetish site is just that....for fetishes of which BDSM is simply one of thousands.

There are BDSM sites also but the well known fet site is like Facebook for kinksters

Ah cool, I might give it a try to keep my options open! Thanks!

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

"If I were you I would start making your girlfriends dinner using lots of beans, cabbage etc. if she lets one rip then just laugh about it and say I bet you can't do that again. Just build it up from there eventually getting to the god you will think I'm crazy but your actually turning me on doing that. "

Haha, well its funny you should say that, because I do encourage her to let rip as much as I can, it's just building up the courage to admit the effect it has on me!

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By *uestandpinkCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

what about getting her a whoopy cushion to see her reaction? lol

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By *uncouple981Couple
over a year ago

ayrshire

Haha, well its funny you should say that, because I do encourage her to let rip as much as I can, it's just building up the courage to admit the effect it has on me!"

Every time she lets go kiss her or touch her. You could try to condition her into thinking she is getting love and attention when she does it.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

this thread is brilliant

I haven't guff-awed so much in ages

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

Hahaha, are you a dog owner? I know positive reinforcement when I see it!

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By *uncouple981Couple
over a year ago

ayrshire

"Hahaha, are you a dog owner? I know positive reinforcement when I see it! "

No Im a child owner

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

Ah I see, well similar rules apply! I might have to try it, I do love a bit of psychological fun and you never know I might get there in the end!

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I third or fourth the 'well known fetish site' it caters for soooo much more than bdsm!

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By *uncouple981Couple
over a year ago

ayrshire

"Ah I see, well similar rules apply! I might have to try it, I do love a bit of psychological fun and you never know I might get there in the end!

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about a bum shot?

Or for discretion purposes - hide your face behind a can of beans?

Think creative!!

"
yes I think that's a good one .. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable discussing this with your partner but the greatest compliment you can pay a loved one in my opinion is to make yourself vulnerable to them. Have you got reason to think she would baulk at this because I feel it would be far better for you and your relationship if you could at least try and include her in it. Otherwise I forsee a lifetime of secrecy ahead of you. "

... and possible one of trapped wind too....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do fanny farts count ? if so get your girlfriend to do doggy

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

"Do fanny farts count ? if so get your girlfriend to do doggy

I do love a good fanny fart yeah and doggy does always have a good effect! Oh so many options...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dont you worry one might make you gag ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dont you worry one might make you gag ?

"
maybe that all part of it ...... you do read about some fetishes that are very different and I think how could people be into them . It would really make me gag if I had a man doing this when having fun and if I ever god for bid pass wind I would feel bad , lol And put me right off sex , would be a killer .

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By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham

"Do fanny farts count ? if so get your girlfriend to do doggy

I do love a good fanny fart yeah and doggy does always have a good effect! Oh so many options..."

Ah...well now Im confused....is it the sound your turned on by or the smell

Two different fetishes there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do fanny farts count ? if so get your girlfriend to do doggy

I do love a good fanny fart yeah and doggy does always have a good effect! Oh so many options...

Ah...well now Im confused....is it the sound your turned on by or the smell

Two different fetishes there

And if it the sound I know someone that can make themselves fanny fart

and no its not me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love this thread

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By *cEvil and BlueangelCouple
over a year ago

Co Durham

Im not sure its a serious one tbh....but lets roll with it

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

To answer a few questions... it's difficult to explain, I admit I do like the smell IF it's from someone I find attractive, I like the sound too, but it's both and neither that are the thing that actually turns me on. I like that as a rule, girls don't fart, but when they do, I find it cheeky and naughty. I like women to be ladylike and feminine but relaxed enough to let one rip if they know it turns me on. It's not about being submissive, or being humiliated or anything like that. It's just a bit naughty and a bit dirty and that's what get's me going ladies and gents!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im not sure its a serious one tbh....but lets roll with it

"
well going on the OP name on his profile he loves it . It takes all sorts .. and we cant all like same things now can we be as boring as hell if we did .

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

"Im not sure its a serious one tbh....but lets roll with it

well going on the OP name on his profile he loves it . It takes all sorts .. and we cant all like same things now can we be as boring as hell if we did .

I am serious! I know some people find it hilarious, which is fine, I'ts certainly got everyone talking! I'm very laid back and it's all friendly humour! It does indeed take all sorts and if you can't laugh at yourself what can you do? Thanks for the support!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Haha, the smell is a tricky one, it depends entirely on my mood... and a woman's dietary preferences...

I have to say OP, all credit to you for posting this thread in the first place and even more credit to you for taking the jokes and general ribbing on the chin! Xx "

I was just thinking exactly the same thing!

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By *rumplover OP Man
over a year ago

Guiseley

I must say, thanks to the folks on here, I really didn't expect such a decent reaction! Thanks!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Haha.. I wasn't sure how it would pan out tbh!! Lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Relax her stand under a tree talk about wind under a willow

Hey i'll not have anyone under me when i want to trump thank you very muchly.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ms here. I like to see erotic pics. Shirt unbuttoned, tie loosened, nice chest or bum pic that kind of thing. Cock pics are boring imo. Try not to worry about being body conscious. Personality counts for more with a lot of ladies. Good luck."
This

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By *untimes6969Man
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I've had to 'step away' from the laptop - my ribs are sore. Just as well I wasn't having a drink!!

A unusual thread but intriguing!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been well amused at this thread in a funny way and very pleased at the lovely way everyone has treated the op, I have a few times farted little toots with well known guys and although slightly embarrassed at the time it has never stopped me, it's a natural body function and if the op gets a kick out of it all well and good I say! Good luck finding a girl to help u and also telling ur oh, try looking up the episode of the Big Bang theory where Sheldon uses positive reinforcement on penny to modify her behaviour, it's hilarious

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By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

I've had to put my coffee down and read it all lol. Normaly if I want to fart I do , its easy to blame others at work. Have you thought of moving to trumpton? . Great thread lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I must say, thanks to the folks on here, I really didn't expect such a decent reaction! Thanks!"

OP you got a decent reaction because you set out your stall without a hint of arrogance, stupidity, attitude, moaning or whingeing. You just played it straight, and people reacted to it positively in the main.

Always makes me grin at some of the topics which result in an open and in-depth discussion on here.... and Farts? who'd have thought it..???

Can't wait for your next thread... Lol!

Ted

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By *awkeye and HotlipsCouple
over a year ago

Takeley

"Is it particularly erotic if the lady does a particularly wet sharty one?

Or are you more into the Krakatoa thunder clap type?"
Dunno about anything else, but I have just gone one further than a fart my sides are splitting so much.....

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By * n zCouple
over a year ago

leamington spa

Bump challenge !!!!!!!!

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

"Bump challenge !!!!!!!!

Haha, thanks for the bump, another great one I missed

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