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"It is hard to find someone who understands your kinks. It comes with time. Probably better to hook up with a single gent at a club and build your adventure together from there x" Honestly I have had some fun with single guys, but they aren't looking for a relationship. I also get massively turned off when I see them with another women so it just doesn't work for me trying to find someone already in the lifestyle. Most guys at the club are either very happy being single or they are in an open relationship. | |||
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"have only been in the lifestyle. I tried traditional dating..by that i nean I gave up playing with past/current partners and was monogamous. The two times I dated and was in a monogamous relationship the two boyfriends on 2 different trys both cheated. I will never date FOR a relationship, nor will I ever be in another monogamous relationship. I find my friends with benefits provide the same if not more, than any monogamous relationship could ever. I find those in the UK use DATE as an excuse to mean only sex. You go out with mates, coworkers,family and you don't call that dating so going out with the opposite sex isn't dating! Fucking and dating dont mean the same things! So for me ... if the friends of the benefit part ends the benefit ends. If the friends part never establishes the benefits never start. Simple as that. I go out in public with my friends and we also have sex. We are both adults and zero desire for hidden BS that most here tend to hide behind. If he's out im introduced as a friend as he us to my friends. If someone is nosey about what I do in my bedroom its none of their business unless they want to watch or join! 25 years and I won't change it." I appreciate that information, but it wasn't really what I was asking... | |||
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"It’s going to be a hard sell to most men. Fragile ego’s and all that. As the man of this relationship I suggested it to her as a fantasy followed by a club visit without any pressure. Our dynamic is Hotwife and perhaps if the guy likes the thought of showing you off, being proud of you etc? " Yeah I'm not sure how to even find that person though. Everyone I meet in the clubs is either poly or in an open relationship. If I go on dating apps, how do I explain that's what I'm looking for without scaring them off. Or do I just keep quiet and give up the club life? | |||
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"I've never found any dating apps that are any good personally, but a line about being pineapple friendly usually gets the point across. Would giving up the lifestyle for a vanilla relationship make you happy and feel fulfilled enough? My advice would be to continue with clubs, have you ever tried a group social? It's another way to meet single men already in the lifestyle. " Off to a social on Saturday with a friend but that was more likely to try and find a bi male for an mmf. I'm not actually a swinger though really, as I'm monogamous when I'm in a relationship. I'm currently single so have had the odd one night thing but I'm bored if I'm honest. I want a connection and intimacy with someone. | |||
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"It’s going to be a hard sell to most men. Fragile ego’s and all that. As the man of this relationship I suggested it to her as a fantasy followed by a club visit without any pressure. Our dynamic is Hotwife and perhaps if the guy likes the thought of showing you off, being proud of you etc? Yeah I'm not sure how to even find that person though. Everyone I meet in the clubs is either poly or in an open relationship. If I go on dating apps, how do I explain that's what I'm looking for without scaring them off. Or do I just keep quiet and give up the club life? " Perhaps sound potential partners out to ascertain their level of jealousy triggers? Some guys (like me) are honestly happy to see Mrs flirting and more but to others it’s a big no! Not sure it’s ever somewhere in between. | |||
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"I've never found any dating apps that are any good personally, but a line about being pineapple friendly usually gets the point across. Would giving up the lifestyle for a vanilla relationship make you happy and feel fulfilled enough? My advice would be to continue with clubs, have you ever tried a group social? It's another way to meet single men already in the lifestyle. Off to a social on Saturday with a friend but that was more likely to try and find a bi male for an mmf. I'm not actually a swinger though really, as I'm monogamous when I'm in a relationship. I'm currently single so have had the odd one night thing but I'm bored if I'm honest. I want a connection and intimacy with someone. " Oh I quite understand... I've been bored in the same way for at least 18 months. I'm definitely looking to meet a special someone in the lifestyle, to take some time out for just us then decide together how/if we carry on as a swinging couple  | |||
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"Try the dating app Feeld, it’s for people who have ‘non vanilla’ interests " I was once on that app a few years ago and it was glitchy as hell. I live in the countryside so wasn't many people nearby. I might try it again though. | |||
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"have only been in the lifestyle. I tried traditional dating..by that i nean I gave up playing with past/current partners and was monogamous. The two times I dated and was in a monogamous relationship the two boyfriends on 2 different trys both cheated. I will never date FOR a relationship, nor will I ever be in another monogamous relationship. I find my friends with benefits provide the same if not more, than any monogamous relationship could ever. I find those in the UK use DATE as an excuse to mean only sex. You go out with mates, coworkers,family and you don't call that dating so going out with the opposite sex isn't dating! Fucking and dating dont mean the same things! So for me ... if the friends of the benefit part ends the benefit ends. If the friends part never establishes the benefits never start. Simple as that. I go out in public with my friends and we also have sex. We are both adults and zero desire for hidden BS that most here tend to hide behind. If he's out im introduced as a friend as he us to my friends. If someone is nosey about what I do in my bedroom its none of their business unless they want to watch or join! 25 years and I won't change it. I appreciate that information, but it wasn't really what I was asking..." Well we met swinging..so to answer so thar you can understand. We spoke We were already both swingers he said he wanted a monogamous relationship and exclusive with just him and i and dating. we went exclusive and it didn't work out he cheated.. the 2nd relationship same situation same result. | |||
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"We met at a swingers party, after a brief chat we found we had loads in common and have been together ever since - only regret is we didn’t meet sooner!"  | |||
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"I've spent this year being single and having fun. I'm now really bored of it. I'm craving intimacy and seeking a relationship, but how do I go about finding that without giving up the lifestyle? How do couples in the scene meet? Dating apps? Tried downloading a dating app last night and got to the point of writing a bio and then deleted my account. How do you even explain what you like on a vanilla dating app? Any apps to recommend? How do I meet someone who wants a relationship, but wont judge my lifestyle choices and potentially join me at the club events etc? Or do I have to give this side up if I want a relationship? Peace and love " We met at fab social events ended up dating & been together 10 years now, live together for 4  & neither of us was looking for anything serious  | |||
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"It sounds like you want him to be monogamous while you still have your fun. That sounds like a difficult sell at the start of a relationship, before you've built the requisite amount of trust. Or did I misunderstand? " No not at all, I'm happy being monogamous. I only want have fun with him. When I'm single, I'm quite happy to have lots of fun though. | |||
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"I've spent this year being single and having fun. I'm now really bored of it. I'm craving intimacy and seeking a relationship, but how do I go about finding that without giving up the lifestyle? How do couples in the scene meet? Dating apps? Tried downloading a dating app last night and got to the point of writing a bio and then deleted my account. How do you even explain what you like on a vanilla dating app? Any apps to recommend? How do I meet someone who wants a relationship, but wont judge my lifestyle choices and potentially join me at the club events etc? Or do I have to give this side up if I want a relationship? Peace and love " Definitely don’t have to give this side up. Plenty on here or other places looking for similar things | |||
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"No not at all, I'm happy being monogamous. I only want have fun with him. When I'm single, I'm quite happy to have lots of fun though. " But you say that you don't want to give up the lifestyle? So why would you still want to go to clubs if you were both going to be monogamous? | |||
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"No not at all, I'm happy being monogamous. I only want have fun with him. When I'm single, I'm quite happy to have lots of fun though. But you say that you don't want to give up the lifestyle? So why would you still want to go to clubs if you were both going to be monogamous?" 1- I'm a photographer so I attend club events for my job. 2- I like to be watched. 3- I like to watch. 4- I have friends that I'd like to stay in touch with. 5- I like the community. Half of the time that I go to a club, I'm not actually having sex. | |||
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"1- I'm a photographer so I attend club events for my job. 2- I like to be watched. 3- I like to watch. 4- I have friends that I'd like to stay in touch with. 5- I like the community. Half of the time that I go to a club, I'm not actually having sex. " Thanks, that makes it much clearer! | |||
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"I've never found any dating apps that are any good personally, but a line about being pineapple friendly usually gets the point across. Would giving up the lifestyle for a vanilla relationship make you happy and feel fulfilled enough? My advice would be to continue with clubs, have you ever tried a group social? It's another way to meet single men already in the lifestyle. Off to a social on Saturday with a friend but that was more likely to try and find a bi male for an mmf. I'm not actually a swinger though really, as I'm monogamous when I'm in a relationship. I'm currently single so have had the odd one night thing but I'm bored if I'm honest. I want a connection and intimacy with someone. " From a monogamy point of view- my perspective is that most couples who swing are monogamous- they are only in one relationship- having sex with another person is not necessarily being in a relationship with them. We met on a vanilla dating app. | |||
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