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"“Prudish” is probably not the best way to describe it. It comes down views of her own body I think. After a few drinks, I think she looses those concerns. D*unk wife on holiday has made for some amazing sex over the years. " If I were you, I'd focus on appreciating what you have | |||
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"Also I ask this without judgement or criticism. Does she know you have a profile in a swingers site? Edited to remove typo with the name of a budget supermarket
"No she doesn’t know that | |||
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"Never, ever get agreement on anything when a person has been drinking. Is there a reason you can't discuss this sober? I know you say she has a different attitude to sex than you do ( I wonder how she would feel seeing this thread for example where you give very private information about her ) but if you make sure she's comfortable enough to talk to you openly why not ask her directly ? " I am thinking asking her directly is the way forward and without the drink | |||
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"Also I ask this without judgement or criticism. Does she know you have a profile in a swingers site? Edited to remove typo with the name of a budget supermarket
No she doesn’t know that "You're starting from a place of secrecy which isn't great with anything like this. My personal opinion is that you have a lot of work to do before you can bring the subject up in the spirit of openness and trust. However many relationships exist where one or both have hidden activities so while not ideal it's not impossible. | |||
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"Also I ask this without judgement or criticism. Does she know you have a profile in a swingers site? Edited to remove typo with the name of a budget supermarket
"Plus, if she agrees to explore the idea and they look on Fab, OP having been on here over a year, won't do him any favours.... | |||
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"Also I ask this without judgement or criticism. Does she know you have a profile in a swingers site? Edited to remove typo with the name of a budget supermarket
Plus, if she agrees to explore the idea and they look on Fab, OP having been on here over a year, won't do him any favours...."That's for him to sort out. I just look at the situation as it is. Past actions definitely affect future outcomes but here we are 🤷♀️ | |||
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"Have a chat with her over a drink on the sofa. Talk about your holiday, maybe look back at pictures and maybe reminisce about the pool party and the after party. Talk about how you both enjoyed it, and assuming she did, and also talks about it fondly maybe suggest a repeat without needing to go on holiday and get smashed. If she agrees and is a willing participant ask her to relive the description of taking another man, and lead on from there. If she wants to then your next problem is who! Because if she says Brad Pitt you are screwed lol. Although im sure you will have an army of volunteers here !" Thank you and exactly the sort of advice I was seeking. Suffice it to say I have had plenty of private messages offering their services! | |||
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"Have a chat with her over a drink on the sofa. Talk about your holiday, maybe look back at pictures and maybe reminisce about the pool party and the after party. Talk about how you both enjoyed it, and assuming she did, and also talks about it fondly maybe suggest a repeat without needing to go on holiday and get smashed. If she agrees and is a willing participant ask her to relive the description of taking another man, and lead on from there. If she wants to then your next problem is who! Because if she says Brad Pitt you are screwed lol. Although im sure you will have an army of volunteers here ! Thank you and exactly the sort of advice I was seeking. Suffice it to say I have had plenty of private messages offering their services!" You don’t find it weird that men are private messaging you offering their services when your wife isn’t even aware you’re discussing her on a swinging site and they haven’t even seen her? My advice is to talk to her when you are both sober but relaxed. Tell her how much you enjoyed the experience on holiday and ask if she would ever consider making it a reality | |||
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"Have a chat with her over a drink on the sofa. Talk about your holiday, maybe look back at pictures and maybe reminisce about the pool party and the after party. Talk about how you both enjoyed it, and assuming she did, and also talks about it fondly maybe suggest a repeat without needing to go on holiday and get smashed. If she agrees and is a willing participant ask her to relive the description of taking another man, and lead on from there. If she wants to then your next problem is who! Because if she says Brad Pitt you are screwed lol. Although im sure you will have an army of volunteers here !" A few people have said with wife’s answer of “who do you want me to think of ” when I asked her to picture sucking another cock, may mean she has a cock in mind. Or maybe she thinks i have one I mind. I guess that is something I need to include when I discuss it with her. | |||
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"Have a chat with her over a drink on the sofa. Talk about your holiday, maybe look back at pictures and maybe reminisce about the pool party and the after party. Talk about how you both enjoyed it, and assuming she did, and also talks about it fondly maybe suggest a repeat without needing to go on holiday and get smashed. If she agrees and is a willing participant ask her to relive the description of taking another man, and lead on from there. If she wants to then your next problem is who! Because if she says Brad Pitt you are screwed lol. Although im sure you will have an army of volunteers here ! Thank you and exactly the sort of advice I was seeking. Suffice it to say I have had plenty of private messages offering their services! You don’t find it weird that men are private messaging you offering their services when your wife isn’t even aware you’re discussing her on a swinging site and they haven’t even seen her? " I find it weird and very creepy. I wouldn't want a guy like that anywhere near me or anyone I love. It's ghastly | |||
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"Have a chat with her over a drink on the sofa. Talk about your holiday, maybe look back at pictures and maybe reminisce about the pool party and the after party. Talk about how you both enjoyed it, and assuming she did, and also talks about it fondly maybe suggest a repeat without needing to go on holiday and get smashed. If she agrees and is a willing participant ask her to relive the description of taking another man, and lead on from there. If she wants to then your next problem is who! Because if she says Brad Pitt you are screwed lol. Although im sure you will have an army of volunteers here ! Thank you and exactly the sort of advice I was seeking. Suffice it to say I have had plenty of private messages offering their services! You don’t find it weird that men are private messaging you offering their services when your wife isn’t even aware you’re discussing her on a swinging site and they haven’t even seen her? I find it weird and very creepy. I wouldn't want a guy like that anywhere near me or anyone I love. It's ghastly " That’s just the way some men are. Of course, if, and it’s a big if, my wife agrees to put her words the other night in action, that third person will not be some random who read my post and said “let me know if she says yes” etc | |||
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"ok here is our input. Firstly you cant get her to agree to want to do anything she does not want to. It will always end bad. She has to want to do it. Saying what she did on a d*unken night means nothing. Drinking will always lower peoples inhibitions. If she has never expressed anything before a 3 some or swinging etc... Then she is just not into it. There are millions of forum posts online all asking the same thing you have asked. Most of which are all the same reply.... Dont push her. If you want to move one with it the way you need to go about it is make it her idea. So talk about the holiday and that night. Then say do you remember when we was having sex and you were talking about sucking another cock. If she says yes. Say something like so would you really do that? If she says no. Drop it. Do not go on about it. She is not interested. If she said maybe or yeah. Then the seed is planted. You work on it from there. It took my wife over a year to finally open up and agree to even go to a club to meet others from the first initial chat about swinging. Now she loves it and enjoys the whole club scene. Its not something that is rushed and you can not push or force her to do anything she dont want to." Thank you and again, exactly the sort of advice I was looking for. I appreciate the title of my original post wasn’t the best (“getting”). I have never “got” her to do anything. Nor will she do anything she doesn’t want to do. | |||
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"Are so sure your not married to the same woman as I am been trying to get her to do this for over 10 years not interested and not interested in sex with me " I think if it’s been 10 years you have to accept she’s not interested | |||
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"ok here is our input. Firstly you cant get her to agree to want to do anything she does not want to. It will always end bad. She has to want to do it. Saying what she did on a d*unken night means nothing. Drinking will always lower peoples inhibitions. If she has never expressed anything before a 3 some or swinging etc... Then she is just not into it. There are millions of forum posts online all asking the same thing you have asked. Most of which are all the same reply.... Dont push her. If you want to move one with it the way you need to go about it is make it her idea. So talk about the holiday and that night. Then say do you remember when we was having sex and you were talking about sucking another cock. If she says yes. Say something like so would you really do that? If she says no. Drop it. Do not go on about it. She is not interested. If she said maybe or yeah. Then the seed is planted. You work on it from there. It took my wife over a year to finally open up and agree to even go to a club to meet others from the first initial chat about swinging. Now she loves it and enjoys the whole club scene. Its not something that is rushed and you can not push or force her to do anything she dont want to. Thank you and again, exactly the sort of advice I was looking for. I appreciate the title of my original post wasn’t the best (“getting”). I have never “got” her to do anything. Nor will she do anything she doesn’t want to do. " I'm unsure if its advice you're looking for or validation of your desire to get her to agree to what you want her to do in order to meet your needs. This is based on the responses you've chosen to reply to... As people have said, d*unken fantasising does not imply a desire to take things further on a non-monogamous basis and that you are already practising your own version of that presumably without her knowledge suggests that this is your need you're thinking of and not hers... | |||
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"ok here is our input. Firstly you cant get her to agree to want to do anything she does not want to. It will always end bad. She has to want to do it. Saying what she did on a d*unken night means nothing. Drinking will always lower peoples inhibitions. If she has never expressed anything before a 3 some or swinging etc... Then she is just not into it. There are millions of forum posts online all asking the same thing you have asked. Most of which are all the same reply.... Dont push her. If you want to move one with it the way you need to go about it is make it her idea. So talk about the holiday and that night. Then say do you remember when we was having sex and you were talking about sucking another cock. If she says yes. Say something like so would you really do that? If she says no. Drop it. Do not go on about it. She is not interested. If she said maybe or yeah. Then the seed is planted. You work on it from there. It took my wife over a year to finally open up and agree to even go to a club to meet others from the first initial chat about swinging. Now she loves it and enjoys the whole club scene. Its not something that is rushed and you can not push or force her to do anything she dont want to." Great answer. I feel the OP has been given a bit of a rough ride here, but understand all concerns around disclosure. I don’t sense you are particularly trying to ‘persuade’ OP, more open up the subject again in a way that could lead to further exploration. | |||
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"ok here is our input. Firstly you cant get her to agree to want to do anything she does not want to. It will always end bad. She has to want to do it. Saying what she did on a d*unken night means nothing. Drinking will always lower peoples inhibitions. If she has never expressed anything before a 3 some or swinging etc... Then she is just not into it. There are millions of forum posts online all asking the same thing you have asked. Most of which are all the same reply.... Dont push her. If you want to move one with it the way you need to go about it is make it her idea. So talk about the holiday and that night. Then say do you remember when we was having sex and you were talking about sucking another cock. If she says yes. Say something like so would you really do that? If she says no. Drop it. Do not go on about it. She is not interested. If she said maybe or yeah. Then the seed is planted. You work on it from there. It took my wife over a year to finally open up and agree to even go to a club to meet others from the first initial chat about swinging. Now she loves it and enjoys the whole club scene. Its not something that is rushed and you can not push or force her to do anything she dont want to. Great answer. I feel the OP has been given a bit of a rough ride here, but understand all concerns around disclosure. I don’t sense you are particularly trying to ‘persuade’ OP, more open up the subject again in a way that could lead to further exploration." Thanks and you are spot on there. My wife isn’t one that can be forced to do anything. And that’s not me anyhow. Her reaction to my request that night was beyond my wildest dreams and I simply wanted the counsel of others, with more experience in such matters, as to how I discuss it with her in the cold light of day and see if she would be willing to go further with it. What I did not mention in my original post is that she asked to suck my finger to pretend it was another cock. I would read that as her wishing it was a cock rather than my finger. But it will be something I will ask her when we talk about it. It could be she quickly worked out the things I wanted to hear that night. If it turns out that is as far as it goes and words will not resort to actions, then that is fine with me. I am thick skinned and me receiving a few pelters about my motives and past doesn’t bother me. I am not being selective as to who I respond to either. The volume of private messages I have received has surprised me, to the point of being a bit overwhelming. Most of them have been welcome. I exclude the “she will love me if she agrees to it” from that category! | |||
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"If my Mrs replied to this I think we would get banned. I am going to think positively - that this is something better shared in the stories and fantasies section and you are not seriously considering getting your wife d*unk to get her to consent to something sexual. Your post has is not showing you in a good light. Nope, that is not what I am suggesting for a second and far from it " | |||
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