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First club event

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By *lexisnDaniel OP   Couple
31 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Hi

We are visiting our first club in a few weeks. We are both looking forward to it but unsure about expectations around chatting up people we like the look of. In more vanilla settings we're more likely to admire from a distance but we think it is probably more common to approach people and start conversations are we right?

Any advice for a couple of newbies would be gratefully received.

Thank you xxx

Alexis and Daniel x

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By *aven RedWoman
31 weeks ago

who knows, but it's not raining x

Go to enjoy yourself. Don't have any expectations. Be friendly. See if there's a thread for the event you are going to x

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
31 weeks ago

Tamworth

The great thing about clubs is, unlike pubs, people are much more open to meeting others. Even if it doesn’t lead anywhere, people are usually happy to chat.

I’d recommend going with the approach of enjoying your evening, meeting other people and seeing where things go and how you feel in the environment.

Have a talk beforehand about your boundaries and what you’re happy to do and not do but don’t be afraid to review these together on the night.

Make sure you’re comfortable with the practicalities of the night e.g. is it a dress up or a dress down club? Where will you park? Is it licensed or not? Do you need cash for a locker? Do they provide towels? Chances are you’ll need ID depending on where you’re going.

Mostly have fun 🙂

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By *lexisnDaniel OP   Couple
31 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Hi

Thank you for your advice, you mentioned a couple of things we hadn't even thought about.

Thank you x

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By *lexisnDaniel OP   Couple
31 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Hi thank you for your advice.

X

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By *otPoshorBecksCouple
31 weeks ago

London


"Hi

We are visiting our first club in a few weeks. We are both looking forward to it but unsure about expectations around chatting up people we like the look of. In more vanilla settings we're more likely to admire from a distance but we think it is probably more common to approach people and start conversations are we right?

Any advice for a couple of newbies would be gratefully received.

Thank you xxx

Alexis and Daniel x"

Be friendly and open. Show a genuine interest in others and tell them your fantasies. Ask them about any sexy experiences. This will get the mind in the right place for play.

Just bear in mind consent. Be respectful and make sure you have good club etiquette.

Go with no expectations and just make friends. Members clubs have regulars and you will likely see them again.

Which club are you thinking of?

Sam xx

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By *lexisnDaniel OP   Couple
31 weeks ago

Edinburgh

Hi Sam thanks for your advice. We are going to alchemy in Norwich. Mrs loves to dance we hope there will be others dancing too.

Thank you x

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By *ust and PoundCouple
31 weeks ago

Wirral

Our first club visit we went in with no expectations. Found it was much easier speaking to people compared to vanilla bars and clubs.

Once we spoke to the staff and some people at the bar we just felt at home.

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By *o longer 1st timersCouple
31 weeks ago

South Birmingham

Following this , as we was asking the same questions to each other last night

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By *manteeCouple
31 weeks ago

Manchester


"Hi

We are visiting our first club in a few weeks. We are both looking forward to it but unsure about expectations around chatting up people we like the look of. In more vanilla settings we're more likely to admire from a distance but we think it is probably more common to approach people and start conversations are we right?

Any advice for a couple of newbies would be gratefully received.

Thank you xxx

Alexis and Daniel x"

Would strongly advise you to go to a "newbie" night, most of the clubs do them, helps to break the ice

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By *cottish guy 555Man
31 weeks ago

London

Clubs are not as daunting as you think. I know it can feel that way and you think either you will be pounced on the minute you walk through the door, or that no one will speak to you.

Honestly, the many clubs I have visited have been very welcoming safe places with sociable people in general.

I don't think that you will have a problem. If you tell the club owners or event organisers that you are new and feeling uncertain, it's likely that they will introduce you around after giving you a tour.

And also, in the forums, if you press reply and quote people will know who you are responding to.

Best of luck and have a great time.

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By *aandLoCouple
31 weeks ago

Southampton

I will say that we've been to a club twice now, and had a great time. But, on neither occasion did anyone come over to talk to us while in the bar area - maybe we were unconsciously giving off the wrong vibes 🤷 Once, we approached friendly looking people (compliments go a long way to initiating conversation,) it was fine. Or, get in the jacuzzi as then we found conversations flowed and included everyone. x

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By *cottish guy 555Man
31 weeks ago

London


"I will say that we've been to a club twice now, and had a great time. But, on neither occasion did anyone come over to talk to us while in the bar area - maybe we were unconsciously giving off the wrong vibes 🤷 Once, we approached friendly looking people (compliments go a long way to initiating conversation,) it was fine. Or, get in the jacuzzi as then we found conversations flowed and included everyone. x"

That's unfortunate. If I may ask, which clubs did you visit?

Whenever I visit a club or social I attempt to speak to at least 3 people who I haven't spoken to before.

I'm aware as a single guy most couples will look at me like I'm after something, which I'm probably not as I genuinely have no expectations. I just like to chat to people, and if anything else happens, it's a lovely surprise.

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By *JohnMan
31 weeks ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

Spend some time watching how the other people there are handling things, and how their behaviour is received.

At the clubs I've been to, different areas have different characters. The hot tub and smoking areas tend to be the places to join open conversations. I don't smoke, but I often spend a lot of my time in the smoking area because of this.

Use the start of the evening to socialise and get to know people in a non-sexual way. It's so much easier to ask if someone wants to play if they already feel like a friend - even a friend you only met a couple of hours ago.

Even though people at clubs are a lot more open to mingling, it can still be daunting to approach a stranger. That applies as much to them as it does to you, even if they're a regular. So don't be afraid to initiate.

"Hi, we're new here" goes a long way as an introduction. But there will be a point somewhere in the first six months of attending every week that you'll have to stop using it Complimenting outfits is good too. Everyone loves to be told they look amazing

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By *cottish guy 555Man
31 weeks ago

London


"Spend some time watching how the other people there are handling things, and how their behaviour is received.

At the clubs I've been to, different areas have different characters. The hot tub and smoking areas tend to be the places to join open conversations. I don't smoke, but I often spend a lot of my time in the smoking area because of this.

Use the start of the evening to socialise and get to know people in a non-sexual way. It's so much easier to ask if someone wants to play if they already feel like a friend - even a friend you only met a couple of hours ago.

Even though people at clubs are a lot more open to mingling, it can still be daunting to approach a stranger. That applies as much to them as it does to you, even if they're a regular. So don't be afraid to initiate.

"Hi, we're new here" goes a long way as an introduction. But there will be a point somewhere in the first six months of attending every week that you'll have to stop using it Complimenting outfits is good too. Everyone loves to be told they look amazing"

Great advice 👍

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By *r Mrs FuckableCouple
31 weeks ago

Stoke

Zero expectations, enjoy yourselves and just chat to anyone who catches your eye.

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By *eyeYCouple
31 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

You'll love it!

Remove the 'what if's' from your head, it's an incredibly liberating experience to speak to people who are as naughty as you without worrying about the social norms.

We rarely play at club's but christ it's refreshing to be yourselves and you never know.. 😈

Pressure is not cool and don't feel awkward in saying no thank you, definitely not something many have heard for whatever reason and you a legitimate in saying it's your first visit, so might be a little to much for you..

All said, go enjoy, with no expectations or regrets after xx

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By *outhstaffscoupleCouple
31 weeks ago

cannock


"You'll love it!

Remove the 'what if's' from your head, it's an incredibly liberating experience to speak to people who are as naughty as you without worrying about the social norms.

We rarely play at club's but christ it's refreshing to be yourselves and you never know.. 😈

Pressure is not cool and don't feel awkward in saying no thank you, definitely not something many have heard for whatever reason and you a legitimate in saying it's your first visit, so might be a little to much for you..

All said, go enjoy, with no expectations or regrets after xx"

Spot on

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By *eyeYCouple
31 weeks ago

Nr Leicester

Thank you, my grammar was shite. But.. 😘

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By *aandLoCouple
31 weeks ago

Southampton


"I will say that we've been to a club twice now, and had a great time. But, on neither occasion did anyone come over to talk to us while in the bar area - maybe we were unconsciously giving off the wrong vibes 🤷 Once, we approached friendly looking people (compliments go a long way to initiating conversation,) it was fine. Or, get in the jacuzzi as then we found conversations flowed and included everyone. x

That's unfortunate. If I may ask, which clubs did you visit?

Whenever I visit a club or social I attempt to speak to at least 3 people who I haven't spoken to before.

I'm aware as a single guy most couples will look at me like I'm after something, which I'm probably not as I genuinely have no expectations. I just like to chat to people, and if anything else happens, it's a lovely surprise.

"

We were open to anyone talking to us being newbies. I smiled, made eye contact, and not a single person came over to say hello. If it hadn't been for the hosts being brilliant we'd have left within the first hour or so of both our visits - same club.

I'm just putting out there that you need to put yourself out there as newbies.

There are established cliques and the only reason I can come up with for not making an effort to talk to newbies, is that they don't have any vested interest unless you're what they're looking for 🤷

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By *xposedInTheMaleMan
31 weeks ago

Cambridgeshire

At a vanilla club, 90% of the couples there aren't looking to meet anyone new.

At a swingers club, 90% of them are looking.

So people are much more open to chatting with new people. Just have fun!

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By *etro manMan
31 weeks ago

manchester

Hello I have been to a few clubs north west and found very friendly drinks food chat

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By *questMan
31 weeks ago

peterborough

I have just started going to clubs, and as a single guy, its not easy. plus it can be daunting.

But people are often happy to chat, and once you start talking to one person, another will join in.

I go with no expectations, but merely to socialise and understand the scene.

If you are a couple, in some ways its harder and easier

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By *questMan
31 weeks ago

peterborough

' The hot tub and smoking areas tend to be the places to join open conversations. I don't smoke, but I often spend a lot of my time in the smoking area because of this'

I was told this the other night, at a fetish event. Basically, people like to chat, and its that social side which is really good.

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By *liff77Man
31 weeks ago

chelmsford

Going to clubs as a single guy, just be polite and friendly and enjoy chat. If persons like you conversation leads to more

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