FabSwingers.com forum: Is it us?

By *olly_Spencer OP Couple
31 weeks ago

Newcastle

This is our third try on this site - first time we met a handful of great singles but took a break because of a health issue.

Second time around we found there to be a lot less willingness to actually meet so we deleted the account and ventured into the club scene.

We discovered we actually prefer a more intimate hotel play setting so here we are again but have been unable to find a single person who wants to meet.

We're actively searching / messaging etc but with little success and the messages we do get are from people wildly outside our stated preferences.

So...is it us? Is there something off-putting on our profile?

Opinions invited.

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By *ink vixenCouple
31 weeks ago

Medway

First two sentences on your bio are good but then it gets a bit negative.

Appreciate that you’re stating what you don’t want but rather than say it just filter the unsuitable.

We found that we need to be the active seekers rather ridiculously rather than waiting for the right one to come along.

We look at other couples profiles and shamelessly target likely guys with good veri’s.

Good luck.

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By *CExeCouple
31 weeks ago

Hong-Kong/Exeter

You look great, and a brief bio is no bad thing, ours is like War and Peace. Stick with it, there's some good folks on here once you get past the time wasters.

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By *ctionSandwichCouple
31 weeks ago

Newcastle under Lyme

Similar boat, though in fairness it might help to have more public facing body shot pics of either of you.

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By *aughtybinatureCouple
31 weeks ago

South Midlands

Not you specifically but like us, your requirements are quite specific.

We don’t expect everyone to align to these, so understand that it limits our opportunities.

We’re quite voyeuristic with orally bi tendencies - that is not what 95% of the couples here are looking for and we’re ok with that.

Great photos btw! We would!!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
31 weeks ago

East Sussex

You have very specific requirements. Do you make first contact with people who fit them?

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By *host63Man
31 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

Maybe your preferences are too narrow

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By *wendolineFoxWoman
31 weeks ago

Chester

Clearly not your target audience - but you have very clear preferences which you have to understand will massively reduce the pool of potential matches. And anyone you find that you think will be a match - well, it needs to be mutual too, thus reducing the pool even further.

So, be proactive in contacting matches, and be patient.

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
31 weeks ago

Somerset

It’s not you. Definitely not you.

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By *eroLondonMan
31 weeks ago

Mayfair

You're not my target audience but I'll give you a synopsis nevertheless.

It's partially you.

Your profile text is generic and nothing stands out. There's nothing outwardly wrong with it but it does become less-than-positive after the second sentence.

I've seen so many seasoned and well verified couples, who are the stalwarts of the forum, lament that they are fed up of seeing couples where only the woman is presented in the gallery.

Your gallery — you're a couple, you swing, obviously, but other than your first photo everything else is crass and repetitive.

Finally, your last sentence - change fiends to "friends".

Whatever happens I wish you both the very best. 🩷

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By *oufouCouple
31 weeks ago

Somerset

Fab veterans of 9+ years here.

You’re looking for something very specific. And we would agree with others that the tone of your text is broadly negative. If you’re going to keep the caveats, try infusing them with some humour. Given that you can’t accommodate, be clear about where any encounters will happen and who will pay.

That said, it has never been harder to find genuine, reliable people; there are lots of tourists, so you’ll need to work hard to sort the sexual wheats from the catfish chaff.

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By *ixey and CopperCouple
31 weeks ago

Exeter

If we see a profile that starts with "we're attractive"

Then we know they aren't for us.

We only meet at clubs now, its a lot easier. Lots of people we've met in clubs have been absolutely lovely. But we wouldn't have met them before based on their profile on Fab.

Just keep persevering x

M and K

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By *olly_Spencer OP Couple
31 weeks ago

Newcastle

Thank you to all who replied - feedback taken and will make changes accordingly!

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By *tarcrossed_SwingersCouple
31 weeks ago

Leicester

It's not just you guys, we've felt the same way. Just see it as being quite niche! When we changed our orientation around a year ago, that's when we noticed the drop off.

You'll find the right people for you, it will just take a little longer!

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By *rasshopper201Man
31 weeks ago

kendal

I live in the lakes I know I’m outside your age range but I’d very happily meet you both at a hotel even if it’s a social can’t private message you as I’m outside your age range but genuine offer

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By *issmorganWoman
31 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

[Removed by poster at 13/10/25 15:58:06]

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By *issmorganWoman
31 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

As others said op, you're after v specific things, which makes it harder.

What do you offer any man who'd choose to meet you?.

Also I'd say take some pics that aren't just focused on your bits. There's nothing to show the man's build off at all, just his cock.

Some pics showing you together may help too, in everyday dress or underwear.

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By *herryEatersCouple
31 weeks ago

East Cheshire

So...is it us? Is there something off-putting on our profile?

It's not you, it's folk on here in general these days !. Finding genuine, compatible, attractive people is now almost impossible (couples and singles). We first joined 11 years ago and it was much easier back then, FAR more genuine people back then and lots more real meets. Now most chats lead nowhere or we find they haven't even read our profile at all. The ghosting is joyful in it's abundance too....

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By *host63Man
31 weeks ago

Bedfont Feltham

Looking at your profile I would say its all about what you want and nlt what you have to offer in return.

Pretty off putting, a bit negative and aggressive.

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By *otPoshorBecksCouple
31 weeks ago

London

"Thank you to all who replied - feedback taken and will make changes accordingly! "

You mention you will attend clubs for meets in your profile. I don’t know the clubs near Newcastle but I have been to a few bi nights at VA and there are plenty of gym fit 25-45 year old bi men at these events who are all about the play and get right into it.

Hopefully you can attend these events and meet someone there, you can also mention the event in the forum and put it on your status.

People go to VA from far and wide, they have an onsite hotel and shuttle buses from the local hotels. Have a look at their website the next bi night event is 7th November xx

Sam xx

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By *lik and PaulCouple
31 weeks ago

cahoots

Maybe if clubs aren't for you for playing OP maybe use them to socialise, get to know people and then arrange private meets with people you hit it off with?

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