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First full swap

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset

Hey Fabbers!

We have been on here for some time and had some very good and some indifferent meets. We were helped to soft swap (oral swap) for the first time by a really relaxed couple who helped easy us into it but we have never gone the whole way with full penetration swap.

We feel like we want to do it but feel it needs to be right and with the right people. Im bi and a lady for us to share would be an option also.

Any advice or help would be appreciated.

Are we over thinking it or should be cautious as we wouldn’t want to affect our relationship by getting it wrong.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex

If you can articulate why you're concerned it would affect your relationship you can put measures in place to stop that happening.

In my opinion you are over thinking it a bit but if you are really concerned stick with soft swing.

I do wonder what you mean when you say you want a lady for you to both share

Good luck whatever you decide

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By *aramel.desiresMan
32 weeks ago

Surrey

One thing swinging will do is bring out any shortfalls each of you may have. Concerns are always legitimate and communication is the the key going forward. Set hard and soft boundaries for each meet and stick to them.

Clubs are a good starting point because you have choices but there is no expectation to play.

Also listen to the sexless swingers pod cast.

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset

Thanks for your reply.

i just added that as it’s not full swap as there isn’t a guy there for me but it’s still swapping as he’s having sex with someone else if that makes sense.

I guess the reason we are worried it could affect the relationship is if we don’t like it can’t get over it maybe.

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset

Ohh that sounds interesting! We will listen to it, thank you.

We have never been to a club and always bottle it as we don’t want to feel a pressure to play so it’s nice that you say there isn’t one.

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By *WANDTGCouple
32 weeks ago

Borough of Greenwich

Just make sure there's after care , this helps bring you both together, also talk about what the evening was like, the positives and negatives . Again this will help with going forward.

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset

Thank you for that! We did speak a lot after the first soft swaps and felt that helped there so that’s a good bit of advice we will definitely heed

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By *ear_TinkerbellCouple
32 weeks ago

The lost village


"Thanks for your reply.

i just added that as it’s not full swap as there isn’t a guy there for me but it’s still swapping as he’s having sex with someone else if that makes sense.

I guess the reason we are worried it could affect the relationship is if we don’t like it can’t get over it maybe. "

If you think you might need to 'get over it' then maybe its not the right time for you yet. There's always a risk but imho you should be pretty sure before jumping in that worst case it'll be a lesson learnt and onwards and upwards. Just my thoughts that others may well disagree with.

Bear

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset

That’s totally fair enough. He says he wouldn’t have a problem dealing with it even if he thought seeing me with another man wasn’t for him. But I guess I just worry at times. I didn’t think I’d like seeing him do anything with another women but watching him get head from another lady blew my mind I loved it

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Thanks for your reply.

i just added that as it’s not full swap as there isn’t a guy there for me but it’s still swapping as he’s having sex with someone else if that makes sense.

I guess the reason we are worried it could affect the relationship is if we don’t like it can’t get over it maybe. "

We had that conversation and came to the conclusion that we what happens on a meet stays on a meet unless one of us crossed an agreed boundary. We actively decided it wouldn't affect our relationship, we approach this as a couple together not as individuals.

Just a suggestion but a lot of women don't like the idea of being shared by a couple, they like to feel as important as them .

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By *hatsWhatCoupleCouple
32 weeks ago

Northampton

Our key principle in this game; you can always do it next time, but you can never undo it.

Both be 100% in what you want before you commit to it

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
32 weeks ago

Leicestershire

We got to the stage you are at when we started playing.

We talked it out and talked it out, eventually we got to the stage where we decided that we had both said everything we could.

So we agreed that with our then boundaries in place we would try and find the right couple and swap. Afterwards we would talk about it, if we liked it all good, if one of us didnt we would put it behind and move on with nothing held against anyone.

It happened and we never looked back.

One thing I woukd say is from experience a threesome is harder to navigate so no one feels left out.

Always remeber it won't effect your relationship if niether of you let it. Agree before you play.

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By *arand25Couple
32 weeks ago

Crowborough


"Our key principle in this game; you can always do it next time, but you can never undo it.

Both be 100% in what you want before you commit to it "

This is spot on!

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset

This sounds like fantastic advice! Thank you so much! X

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset

Sorry it was possibly just badly worded I guess u more mean explore her and pleasure her together. Hope that sounds better.

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset

Thank you for a lovely reply! This sounds like exactly the conversation we need to have.

I’m pretty certain we will do it and love it I guess at times i just look for approval to put my own mind at rest and it’s just nerves. I do this with a lot of things in life

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
32 weeks ago

East Sussex


"Sorry it was possibly just badly worded I guess u more mean explore her and pleasure her together. Hope that sounds better.

"

If you tap 'reply+quote' under the message you're answering we can see who you're replying to

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset


"Sorry it was possibly just badly worded I guess u more mean explore her and pleasure her together. Hope that sounds better.

If you tap 'reply+quote' under the message you're answering we can see who you're replying to "

Haha sorry I thought I was doing that. Should pay more attention

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By *aramel.desiresMan
32 weeks ago

Surrey


"That’s totally fair enough. He says he wouldn’t have a problem dealing with it even if he thought seeing me with another man wasn’t for him. But I guess I just worry at times. I didn’t think I’d like seeing him do anything with another women but watching him get head from another lady blew my mind I loved it "

I have listened to many sexperts, podcast and read a lot of forums and as can be seen on here the feelings men get when their partner plays away can be a mixture of hurt, excitement, jealousy but to be honest some men love it!! Afterward they claim their partners back with reclaim sex. It's a juxtaposition of feelings and emotions that men find very exciting. Kinda makes us feel alive!

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset


"That’s totally fair enough. He says he wouldn’t have a problem dealing with it even if he thought seeing me with another man wasn’t for him. But I guess I just worry at times. I didn’t think I’d like seeing him do anything with another women but watching him get head from another lady blew my mind I loved it

I have listened to many sexperts, podcast and read a lot of forums and as can be seen on here the feelings men get when their partner plays away can be a mixture of hurt, excitement, jealousy but to be honest some men love it!! Afterward they claim their partners back with reclaim sex. It's a juxtaposition of feelings and emotions that men find very exciting. Kinda makes us feel alive!

"

Ash says he agrees totally 👍🏻

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By *ellinever70Woman
32 weeks ago

Ayrshire

If you're unsure about the idea of something, it's probably unwise to test it out in reality

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset


"If you're unsure about the idea of something, it's probably unwise to test it out in reality "

After speaking to a few people who have messaged since posting this I think I’ve realised I’m more just nervous than unsure which I feel most be an emotion most people go through the first time. I need to stop over thinking it and enjoy the ride

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By *et and WillingCouple
32 weeks ago

Nuneaton

When we first joined it was to explore my bi side so it was only women we met and we agreed only soft , basically only oral meets no full sex with hubby and the lady. Luckily we met two lovely ladies would help out with our journey and had great fun with them.

I soon discovered i got turned on watching other women touch my hubby and him touching them and it was my idea to move on to full sex meets. The first time i must admit i felt a little jealous , strange because i nerver did with the soft meets. We talked out this and i again decided i wanted to carry on and to be honest now i have no problem watching him and a woman together infact i encourge it , seeing him snog the face of a lady then bend them over is amazing lol.

Communication is the thing talk to each other and the other lady/couple you plan on playing with.

Oh by the way we have amaxing what i call reclaim sex after meets

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By *amAndAsh OP   Couple
32 weeks ago

South Somerset


"When we first joined it was to explore my bi side so it was only women we met and we agreed only soft , basically only oral meets no full sex with hubby and the lady. Luckily we met two lovely ladies would help out with our journey and had great fun with them.

I soon discovered i got turned on watching other women touch my hubby and him touching them and it was my idea to move on to full sex meets. The first time i must admit i felt a little jealous , strange because i nerver did with the soft meets. We talked out this and i again decided i wanted to carry on and to be honest now i have no problem watching him and a woman together infact i encourge it , seeing him snog the face of a lady then bend them over is amazing lol.

Communication is the thing talk to each other and the other lady/couple you plan on playing with.

Oh by the way we have amaxing what i call reclaim sex after meets "

This is exactly the same as us for why we joined, for me to explore my bi side and naturally it all went further in the heat of the moment and the first time I saw a lady suck his cock it drove me wild I was so turned on by it

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By *et and WillingCouple
32 weeks ago

Nuneaton


"When we first joined it was to explore my bi side so it was only women we met and we agreed only soft , basically only oral meets no full sex with hubby and the lady. Luckily we met two lovely ladies would help out with our journey and had great fun with them.

I soon discovered i got turned on watching other women touch my hubby and him touching them and it was my idea to move on to full sex meets. The first time i must admit i felt a little jealous , strange because i nerver did with the soft meets. We talked out this and i again decided i wanted to carry on and to be honest now i have no problem watching him and a woman together infact i encourge it , seeing him snog the face of a lady then bend them over is amazing lol.

Communication is the thing talk to each other and the other lady/couple you plan on playing with.

Oh by the way we have amaxing what i call reclaim sex after meets

This is exactly the same as us for why we joined, for me to explore my bi side and naturally it all went further in the heat of the moment and the first time I saw a lady suck his cock it drove me wild I was so turned on by it "

Like i say. Talk about it. I was a little jealous watching him fucking a woman for the first time but that soon disapeared and now weve even had meets where im only allowed to watch till im told i can join in ,which was bloody amazing !!!

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
31 weeks ago

Coventry

We were soft swap and then we found ourselves having lady we met at a party stay the night with us. And the three way chemistry was just there and it felt right. However after that we still didn't full swap all the time and still don't always. It really depends on the people, environment and vibe.

So we would say don't over think it, don't set it as a target. Just keep enjoying the scene, meeting new people and when it feels right you'll know.

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