FabSwingers.com forum: When and how to suggest swinging…..

helensburgh

Married man here, keen to explore the lifestyle. Any tips on getting your partner to open up on their thoughts on swinging? When did you do it? How did you do it?

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By *ink vixenCouple
33 weeks ago

Medway

Ask her if she has more verifications than you.

She probably does lol.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
33 weeks ago

Tamworth

The old favourite is to initiate a conversation about fantasies, see what she says and mention whatever it is about the scene you‘d like to explore - FFM, group sex etc.

You could also suggest each picking some porn to watch together and choosing something relating to swinging to see if she shows an interest.

My biggest advice though would be if it lands like a lead balloon, don’t push and nag. Nothing is more off putting than a partner trying to change your mind if something doesn’t appeal.

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By *mells so good.. OP Man
33 weeks ago

helensburgh

"Ask her if she has more verifications than you.

She probably does lol. "

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By *outhstaffscoupleCouple
33 weeks ago

cannock

I (mr) suggested we visit a club, wife was intrigued. We went with just the idea of watching others play, which we did. We both enjoyed the night out and things went from there.

Over about 12 months we've pushed more boundaries znd done much more than we ever thought we would.

We would say complete honesty and open communication has been key for us.if one of us doesn't want to do something or decides they dont want to go to a club that night, we dont.

Everything we do within swinging, we do together

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
33 weeks ago

Central

Build trust and honesty, then develop communication together, so that you can just communicate, without any expectations about where it goes.

Suddenly going from discussing homewares, to swinging gangbangs, could be enough to close the door. Progressive, via honesty and trust building is healthier

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
33 weeks ago

East Sussex

Ask her.

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
33 weeks ago

Middle England

You need trust to swing as a couple. Show her your profile and gauge her response. Then take things from there.

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By *GoodGirlGemxCouple
33 weeks ago

Scotland

Show her your profile and verification and tell her you’d like her to be involved. Honestly though swinging is based on trust, communication and honesty so I think you may have a bit of an uphill climb. Good luck

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
33 weeks ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 30/09/25 23:33:19]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
33 weeks ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 30/09/25 23:37:04]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
33 weeks ago

East Sussex

Sit down with her one evening when you both have plenty of time and are unlikely to be interrupted. Emphasise throughout the conversation how much you value your relationship and how much she means to you. Explain that you'd like to try swinging (personally I'd leave out that you started without her) and you'd like her to come along on the adventure with you. Listen to what she has to say and take on board her answers. She's probably going to ask you why she isn't enough for you, if you're bored with her, if you don't love her, why you've brought this up now and you're going to have to give answers that are genuine and loving. Be prepared to be emotionally open with her and if she says no, accept it with good grace.

What is your motive for wanting to get her involved now?

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By *randMrs397Couple
33 weeks ago

durham

"I (mr) suggested we visit a club, wife was intrigued. We went with just the idea of watching others play, which we did. We both enjoyed the night out and things went from there.

Over about 12 months we've pushed more boundaries znd done much more than we ever thought we would.

We would say complete honesty and open communication has been key for us.if one of us doesn't want to do something or decides they dont want to go to a club that night, we dont.

Everything we do within swinging, we do together"

Couldn't agree more, we surprised ourselves how much we progressed over the first 12 months or so

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By *olds CoupleCouple
33 weeks ago

Louth Lincolnshire

You could always say you had a workmate and his wife who are swingers, say you find the idea intriguing and ask your wife what she thinks about it.

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By *eautifully TwistedWoman
33 weeks ago

Telford

Ultimately she is your wife and you know her best.

I do know that many women have fantasies too that they may feel uncomfortable to talk about.

I would probably open a conversation around that at the right time and see if you can get her to open up.

That may help guide your way to bringing up swinging.

Don't just use it as an excuse to tell her yours , listen to her and try and encourage her to be open and honest.

Good luck with what you decide to do.

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
33 weeks ago

Middle England

"Ultimately she is your wife and you know her best.

I do know that many women have fantasies too that they may feel uncomfortable to talk about.

I would probably open a conversation around that at the right time and see if you can get her to open up.

That may help guide your way to bringing up swinging.

Don't just use it as an excuse to tell her yours , listen to her and try and encourage her to be open and honest.

Good luck with what you decide to do. "

The irony is not lost of the OP asking his wife to be open and honest with him when he's been the exact opposite with her.

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By *heelerMan
33 weeks ago

Northants

Give her a surprise night out and visit a club she either be a swinger or a divorcee

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By *eautifully TwistedWoman
33 weeks ago

Telford

"Ultimately she is your wife and you know her best.

I do know that many women have fantasies too that they may feel uncomfortable to talk about.

I would probably open a conversation around that at the right time and see if you can get her to open up.

That may help guide your way to bringing up swinging.

Don't just use it as an excuse to tell her yours , listen to her and try and encourage her to be open and honest.

Good luck with what you decide to do.

The irony is not lost of the OP asking his wife to be open and honest with him when he's been the exact opposite with her."

Indeed but it's not my business.

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By *rogressivepairCouple
33 weeks ago

Derbyshire

If one of us had been on fab, AND had a veri from a meet, without the other knowing anything about it - to then find out or be shown this - then the foundation of trust required to swing together would already be gone (for a long time, maybe for good). Those who recommend showing her your account…. Probably the worst advice you could give.

“Swinging” without your partner being aware is just cheating. Maybe delete this account, and start with rebuilding the trust and connection required for her to open up to you about her desires and fantasies. Without trust, swinging is just accelerating the end of your relationship.

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By *WB85Man
33 weeks ago

Staffordshire

We just had a very open conversation regarding it a few years ago.

We both wanted to try it, so headed to a couples and single ladies night at a club.

I think the type of club night you visit first is crucial. The couples night has a much softer relaxed vibe. If we had gone to a more hard-core event with lots of single men.....the journey would have ended the same night.

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By *herryandrumCouple
33 weeks ago

kilmarnock

start watching docs and shows about it with you partner, Open House on channel 4 etc. would start the conversation anyways

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By *ardleedsMan
33 weeks ago

Pudsey

Have u ever spoke about it or had any like dirty talk in bed about sharing her ?

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
33 weeks ago

Middle England

"start watching docs and shows about it with you partner, Open House on channel 4 etc. would start the conversation anyways"

Having watched the Open House series. It was quite interesting there were quite a few of the men who wanted to get their wives into swinging but when push comes to shove they didn't actually like their partners/wives going with other men.

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
33 weeks ago

Middle England

[Removed by poster at 01/10/25 10:29:42]

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By *manteeCouple
33 weeks ago

Manchester

We talked about fantasies, Em wanted to be watched having sex so I suggested a safe environment would be a newbies night at a club, lets just say that after a nervous start it developed into a lot more than just being watched

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By *oupleSouthEast69Couple
33 weeks ago

brighton

Go back in time 9 months and have a conversation before you decide to enter the swinging world without her knowledge?

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By *lex.and.SexCouple
33 weeks ago

Bedale/Leeds/Stanley

The old saying has some relevance here. "The best time to plant a tree is 30 years ago. The second best time is today".

If it's what you want, ideally ask as soon as possible as the longer into the relationship you ask the harder it is likely to be.

As for me, I made my being in the lifestyle clear on date number 2. Not everyone is in the position to do so I accept, but it worked out nicely haha

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
33 weeks ago

Coventry

"The old favourite is to initiate a conversation about fantasies, see what she says and mention whatever it is about the scene you‘d like to explore - FFM, group sex etc.

You could also suggest each picking some porn to watch together and choosing something relating to swinging to see if she shows an interest.

My biggest advice though would be if it lands like a lead balloon, don’t push and nag. Nothing is more off putting than a partner trying to change your mind if something doesn’t appeal. "

I need to write little here, because this basically.

The only thing I would add is just work with her to open up conversations to complete openness and transparency. Which is something you can take the lead in by showing your openness yourself. Because these conversations can't start until they feel completely safe and free to open up the deepest darkest parts of their desires and also their fears. It'll never work as a couple on this scene unless you have complete transparency and trust in each other.

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