FabSwingers.com forum: Profile Advice – Am I putting people off?

By *ornyTr00per OP Man
36 weeks ago

Diss

Hi all,

I’d love a bit of feedback on my profile.

I’m a married guy in my early 40s. My wife and I used to be on the scene together, but with kids and busy lives she’s stepped away. I’m still interested in connecting solo always respectfully and without drama.

I keep my profile honest about being married, but I’ve noticed a lot of “single male only” profiles and wonder if my honesty is making things harder. My photos include some older shots of me and my wife from when we played together, plus a few solo ones on private.

Do you think being upfront is the right approach, or should I tweak things to come across more like a solo player? Any tips for standing out as a genuine, respectful guy in a sea of single blokes would be really appreciated.

Thanks in advance for any advice!

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By *renzMan
36 weeks ago

Between Chichester and Havant

Some girls will, some girls won't.....

Seriously, many won't play with married men however they frame it in their profile, they will still think it's cheating. But being honest sometimes pays dividends.

When I joined many years ago I was still married and would always tell any potential partners. I have to say the vast majority, it didn't bother and I had a lot of fun with couples and single females.

Since returning as genuinely single male who can accommodate, I've met very few. Make of that what you will.

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By *issmorganWoman
36 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Hi op the action shots put me off I'll be honest. It's a single male account, so that's all I'd to see.

I'm half a couple, but don't have action shots of on this single account.

Is your wife still aware you're on here op and happy for you to meet others?.

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By *ornyTr00per OP Man
36 weeks ago

Diss

Thanks for sharing that it’s really useful to hear from someone who’s been on both sides of it.

I had a feeling honesty might rule some people out straight away, but I’d rather be upfront than try to hide anything.

Interesting that you had more luck when married than as a single male

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By *ornyTr00per OP Man
36 weeks ago

Diss

"Hi op the action shots put me off I'll be honest. It's a single male account, so that's all I'd to see.

I'm half a couple, but don't have action shots of on this single account.

Is your wife still aware you're on here op and happy for you to meet others?. "

I wasn’t sure whether to keep some of those old photos up or not, but it sounds like they might send the wrong message on a solo profile—so that’s good to know.

And yes, my wife does know I’m on here and is fine with it. We’re just at different stages with the scene, which is why I’m exploring solo now.

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By *renzMan
36 weeks ago

Between Chichester and Havant

"Thanks for sharing that it’s really useful to hear from someone who’s been on both sides of it.

I had a feeling honesty might rule some people out straight away, but I’d rather be upfront than try to hide anything.

Interesting that you had more luck when married than as a single male"

It is, but I'm a good few years older now and as I come and go, I have lost all my verifications because of it. But I'm happier now and treat this as a 'hobby'.

Maybe you could have a couples profile and say that your wife is taking time out? But that would possibly still be viewed with suspicion.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
36 weeks ago

East Sussex

I'm not keen on single male profiles with pictures of him having sex with another woman.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
36 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Thanks for sharing that it’s really useful to hear from someone who’s been on both sides of it.

I had a feeling honesty might rule some people out straight away, but I’d rather be upfront than try to hide anything.

Interesting that you had more luck when married than as a single male

It is, but I'm a good few years older now and as I come and go, I have lost all my verifications because of it. But I'm happier now and treat this as a 'hobby'.

Maybe you could have a couples profile and say that your wife is taking time out? But that would possibly still be viewed with suspicion. "

That would be disingenuous in my opinion because it would show up in searches for people looking for genuine couples.

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By *renzMan
36 weeks ago

Between Chichester and Havant

"Thanks for sharing that it’s really useful to hear from someone who’s been on both sides of it.

I had a feeling honesty might rule some people out straight away, but I’d rather be upfront than try to hide anything.

Interesting that you had more luck when married than as a single male

It is, but I'm a good few years older now and as I come and go, I have lost all my verifications because of it. But I'm happier now and treat this as a 'hobby'.

Maybe you could have a couples profile and say that your wife is taking time out? But that would possibly still be viewed with suspicion.

That would be disingenuous in my opinion because it would show up in searches for people looking for genuine couples. "

You are correct of course, I hadn't thought of it that way.

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By *ornyTr00per OP Man
36 weeks ago

Diss

"I'm not keen on single male profiles with pictures of him having sex with another woman. "

Fair enough, thanks for being upfront about that.

They’re old pics from when my wife and I were active together, but I can see how it doesn’t fit a solo profile anymore.

I’ll sort some more appropriate shots nothing explicit though, I’m not into cock pics.

Face pics are tricky with my job, so I’ll probably go for some new solo shots that give a feel for me without revealing everything.

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
36 weeks ago

Tamworth

The main thing for me is that you don’t tell people what you’re looking for. Saying you’re looking for adult fun tells me nothing and doesn’t allow me to gauge compatibility.

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By *irty130Couple
36 weeks ago

Bristol Area

"The main thing for me is that you don’t tell people what you’re looking for. Saying you’re looking for adult fun tells me nothing and doesn’t allow me to gauge compatibility."
an AI-assisted profile text is always just a nice sounding word salad but without any actual substance!

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By *ornyTr00per OP Man
36 weeks ago

Diss

"The main thing for me is that you don’t tell people what you’re looking for. Saying you’re looking for adult fun tells me nothing and doesn’t allow me to gauge compatibility."

Thank you I will work on that

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
Forum Mod
36 weeks ago

Central

Honestly is the right policy.

Single male profiles will ideally only show pictures of them and nobody else! It discourages many women from considering you

You need to have very realistic expectations that as a single man here, it requires massive amounts of effort and your not being single will deter some too

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