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"I'd be careful about normalising something that could ultimately be damaging a relationship, after all once you have cracked an egg you can't put it back into the shell." Agreed, it's still important to examine the feelings, but it's better to not do it in the moment, to have a little bit of distance and perspective. And to talk about it with one's partner, which goes without saying. | |||
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"I’ve often pondered the Richard Burton quote “…the minute you start fiddling around outside the idea of monogamy, nothing truly satisfies…” He was a notorious shagger, so I suspect he was making an oblique point about the risk of normalisation. In my experience a cuckold encounter (which I’ve only experienced as a bull, many years ago) is exceptionally intense for the couple especially, but also one that I came back to only sparingly to preserve that intensity. I’ve been very mindful of this in conversations with my wife about exploring the possibility. " The thing with Burton is that he was frequently unfaithful. Personally I think of infidelity as incompatible with normalisation. If the habitually unfaithful thrive on the necessary imbalance that comes with dishonesty, it's in fact undesirable for them to "normalise", because that implies that the new situation becomes at least acceptable if not desirable to all parties - which is not what habitual cheaters want. Hence why to me, normalisation is achieved both through careful self-examination and through open communication. | |||
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