FabSwingers.com forum: Messaging the next day

By *isterC83 OP Man
6 days ago

Bexley

Before we start, I'm not talking about after a meet

The scenario is, guy messaging a lady, you might have been speaking to someone for an evening, you perceive things as going well, but then they go offline until the next day, it's late, they've probably gone to sleep

In that time window, your last message has probably been bumped off of their first page of messages, you're on unread

Question for the ladies and gents

Ladies, what would you prefer a guy in that situation to do? I'd like to imagine if a lady was into said guy, she'd follow up herself, but I make no assumptions about this site, I know a female inbox can be a chaotic place, not all want to do Fabmin

Gents, what would you do? Reach out again?

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By *iss DevilWoman
6 days ago

Bedford

I would very much prefer for the guy to wait for the reply. It can be seen as a sign of desperation otherwise.

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By *isterC83 OP Man
6 days ago

Bexley

"I would very much prefer for the guy to wait for the reply. It can be seen as a sign of desperation otherwise. "

Would you say you're the type to go back through your messages? Or maybe even not feeling it the next day?

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By *issmorganWoman
6 days ago

Calderdale innit

I'm with _iss devil, I'd prefer the man would wait for my reply.

If I'm chatting to someone and I sent the last message, I'd wait for them to get back to me, not send another.

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By *ucka39Man
6 days ago

Newcastle

If we've been chatting and it's been going back and forth in a good way, and I've sent the last message and they've went offline and following day are back online

I wait as just because are online doesn't mean they're not busy and will when find the time reply

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By *urvyLady4BlackMenWoman
6 days ago

Norwich

I'd wait for their reply. However I have missed messages before and not realised so the guy has messaged as I didnt realise he had replied.

So it's a tricky one really. I like guys to be keen though. I'm too old for hard to get or ghosting.

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By *isterC83 OP Man
6 days ago

Bexley

"I'd wait for their reply. However I have missed messages before and not realised so the guy has messaged as I didnt realise he had replied.

So it's a tricky one really. I like guys to be keen though. I'm too old for hard to get or ghosting. "

This is exactly it, without getting back in touch, you comment know if they've lost interest, or simply track of your message

I'm leaning towards leaving it for the day, maybe checking in the day after at the earliest, but more likely waiting for a reason to message, a new pic, a status, something like that

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By *ubcuckpupMan
6 days ago

Manchester

"I would very much prefer for the guy to wait for the reply. It can be seen as a sign of desperation otherwise. "

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By *inky PerkyCouple
6 days ago

Kingston

Leave it. If they like you, they will look for your message. If they're not too bothered, they won't. Nothing will kill your chances faster than an overly thirsty attitude

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
6 days ago

Central

I don't view Fab messaging as the equivalent of realtime chat, perhaps like a phone call or in the cam rooms.

You will sometimes find others online at the same time but feeling like you're being stalked or put under pressure for immediate responses, isn't pleasant.

Let people respond, if they want to, in their own way and time, as they want to. Don't chase them up, either. No reply is a reply. Back off.

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By *iss DevilWoman
6 days ago

Bedford

"I would very much prefer for the guy to wait for the reply. It can be seen as a sign of desperation otherwise.

Would you say you're the type to go back through your messages? Or maybe even not feeling it the next day?"

I don't get that many messages so it's easy for me to keep up. But yes, with my mojo being a bit of a rollercoaster lately, it's possible I'm going to feel differently the next day.

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By *bi HaiveMan
6 days ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

If someone is invested they'll reply. Whether that's next day, a couple of days later or a week.

There's nothing more off putting on our couples profile than when a chat is going well and then there's a clear indication of impatience, just because we haven't replied within some kind of time limit, resulting in further incoming mail.

We have lives. We have jobs. One of us has kids.

Fab chats are way down our list of priorities.

Strangely our swinging friends arent like this. Days or even weeks can go between chats. There's no expectations, no urgency and no panic if there's not frequent contact.

It only appears to come from new contacts, as if there's a liklihood we'll forget they exist if we don't hear from them daily. We won't. But any sign of a lack of patience and we'll likely cut chat dead.

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By *iss DevilWoman
6 days ago

Bedford

"I would very much prefer for the guy to wait for the reply. It can be seen as a sign of desperation otherwise.

On fetish sites (and on here when a cuck for my mistress )I've found that another platform is quickly suggested by the lady or bull (like telegram or WhatsApp) if there is genuine interest as messaging here is so mental "
My guess would be, however, that taking messages away from the fetish site in question is not going to get you inundated by pics/pics requests, video chat requests etc? Which seems very common when you do try and take messages off here, onto another platform. Also, you can't report messages on another platform

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By *unKinkyCouple-XCouple
6 days ago

Hampshire

[Removed by poster at 31/07/25 16:16:24]

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By *ubcuckpupMan
2 days ago

Manchester

"I would very much prefer for the guy to wait for the reply. It can be seen as a sign of desperation otherwise.

On fetish sites (and on here when a cuck for my mistress )I've found that another platform is quickly suggested by the lady or bull (like telegram or WhatsApp) if there is genuine interest as messaging here is so mental My guess would be, however, that taking messages away from the fetish site in question is not going to get you inundated by pics/pics requests, video chat requests etc? Which seems very common when you do try and take messages off here, onto another platform. Also, you can't report messages on another platform "

That is true I guess but I'm talking if a woman makes a genuine connection and wants to take it further /wants to meet an other platform would be suggested to avoid wading through hundreds of other messages. My ex partner cuckoldress would quickly take it to what's app to further vet the person

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By *arleycplWoman
2 days ago

Leyburn

I would rather they wait for my reply, probably 90% of my received messages are spam. And simply deleted.

I tend to check my sent messages to see if they have been read

Marie x

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By *hechonkyduoCouple
2 days ago

Café Leblanc, Stourbridge

You wait for the reply, always wait for the reply. Even if it shows as read, wait for the reply because that might be their way of filtering messages.

Unless you are already close, best to be patient.

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By *isterC83 OP Man
2 days ago

Bexley

Thank you all

I'd added them as friend so they could have a poke around my profile before I ever posted this thread, they had a look at my profile a couple of days after original post, never replied

They're not a site supporter so won't show we've had an interaction when they view my profile, but regardless, they never got back in touch

Subsequently unfriended! Lessons learnt

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