FabSwingers.com forum: Advice for getting started newbie

By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

Hello all,

I have been on this site for a while now, but I cannot seem to connect with anyone. Most of the people within a reasonable driving distance only want to couples, but I am single, or people who have recommendations for other members but I not been able to connect with anyone to get any so I am stuck in a catch 22.

I keep winking and messaging people but never get any responses. I like to think I'm not that ugly, and I’m clean, respectable, and polite, so I don’t know where I am going wrong.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you

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By *hemackisbackMan
43 weeks ago

Carlisle

I feel like maybe a proper face pic might do the job? It’s a good thing that your profile pic isn’t a dick pic, nor do you even have any dick pics on your profile, it’s a great start! You’ve got a decent bio, you drive, just give it some time, eventually you’ll find someone and your network will grow

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By *ovinglife!40Man
43 weeks ago

Hinckley

"Hello all,

I keep winking and messaging people but never get any responses. I like to think I'm not that ugly, and I’m clean, respectable, and polite, so I don’t know where I am going wrong.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you

You don't have a good profile

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By *b03Man
43 weeks ago

Exeter

Describing, showing, photos of your penis only attracts other men (in 99% of cases, with the vast majority of those being gay)

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

The 'i never fail to satisfy' put me off

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

You’ve been here 5 minutes. And by the way, Fab isn’t a publicly traded entity.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"I feel like maybe a proper face pic might do the job? It’s a good thing that your profile pic isn’t a dick pic, nor do you even have any dick pics on your profile, it’s a great start! You’ve got a decent bio, you drive, just give it some time, eventually you’ll find someone and your network will grow "

thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Hello all,

I keep winking and messaging people but never get any responses. I like to think I'm not that ugly, and I’m clean, respectable, and polite, so I don’t know where I am going wrong.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you

You don't have a good profile"

OK can you give some feedback or constructive feedback other than simply its not good

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"The 'i never fail to satisfy' put me off"

ok fair, thank you, I i was going for the confidence route...perhaps i will remove it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"You’ve been here 5 minutes. And by the way, Fab isn’t a publicly traded entity. "

8 weeks is hardly 5 minuets but I get your point

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By *urvyhotwife4BBCCouple
43 weeks ago

Scunthorpe

You have copied and pasted a useless paragraph at the bottom of your profile which says more than what you are offering and what you are looking for.

Get rid of the copy and paste bit and bulk out the rest of it

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"You’ve been here 5 minutes. And by the way, Fab isn’t a publicly traded entity.

8 weeks is hardly 5 minuets but I get your point

How would you sue us if we used any of your details?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Describing, showing, photos of your penis only attracts other men (in 99% of cases, with the vast majority of those being gay)

Thats why I don't have any dick pics

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"You have copied and pasted a useless paragraph at the bottom of your profile which says more than what you are offering and what you are looking for.

Get rid of the copy and paste bit and bulk out the rest of it"

Okay, fair point. I saw a lot of other users putting something similar on their profiles, so I thought I should add it so my photo does not get misused, thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"You’ve been here 5 minutes. And by the way, Fab isn’t a publicly traded entity.

8 weeks is hardly 5 minuets but I get your point

How would you sue us if we used any of your details? "

Its something a few members seam to have aimed at site site scrapers not members

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By *eroLondonMan
43 weeks ago

Mayfair

OP, I'm sorry to hear that you're not having much luck. It's purely a numbers game: the number of men far outweigh the number of women, and the women are inundated with messages.

Most women on Fab will look at the sender's profile before they open the message, if at all. If there is nothing of interest for them they will bypass your message entirely or delete it.

You've only been here approximately eight weeks — that's the equivalent of a 'picosecond' within the Fab timeline.

Your profile requires significant improvement. It already states that you're "straight" and 'athletic" but you've repeated it in your profile narrative. It's also prone to self-aggrandisement: you enjoy giving pleasure, you're polite and respectful...and clean. So is every man on here. Your profile is generic and doesn't give much away. Also, get rid of that superfluous legal disclaimer.

Finally, your photographs are uninspiring; perfunctory and taken in the bathroom/toilet. That's a passion killer.

You need to create some mystique about you.

Good luck! 🌿

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

"Describing, showing, photos of your penis only attracts other men (in 99% of cases, with the vast majority of those being gay)

Not brilliant at maths but that's still a 1% chance

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"OP, I'm sorry to hear that you're not having much luck. It's purely a numbers game: the number of men far outweigh the number of women, and the women are inundated with messages.

Most women on Fab will look at the sender's profile before they open the message, if at all. If there is nothing of interest for them they will bypass your message entirely or delete it.

You've only been here approximately eight weeks — that's the equivalent of a 'picosecond' within the Fab timeline.

Finally, your photographs are uninspiring; perfunctory and taken in the bathroom/toilet. That's a passion killer.

You need to create some mystique about you.

Good luck! 🌿

Ah, okay, fair... I appreciate the honest feedback. I will work on a revamp, Thank you

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By *ucka39Man
43 weeks ago

Newcastle

Don't just rely on messages and use more of the site like the forums or even the cam chat rooms as they are always active

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Don't just rely on messages and use more of the site like the forums or even the cam chat rooms as they are always active "

good idea ...thank you

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By *adame BootsTV/TS
43 weeks ago

Tetbury

Loose the legal bit, it will be an instant no for a lot of the serious people on here, are you really going to take someone to court over this?

Get to a social, find the Gloucester one and meet others, if they like you, you will get your fun.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP
43 weeks ago

"Loose the legal bit, it will be an instant no for a lot of the serious people on here, are you really going to take someone to court over this?

Get to a social, find the Gloucester one and meet others, if they like you, you will get your fun.

Good luck"

good shout, thank you

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By *issmorganWoman
42 weeks ago

Calderdale innit

Hi op, the disclaimer warning is longer than your actual profile text & it's meaningless.

So I'd get rid of the warning and fill out your bio a bit more. The I never fail to satisfy also reads very cocksure to me.

I don't really get much of an idea of you, or what you offer meets though or are really into etc.

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By *ebaucherous_duoCouple
42 weeks ago

Bristol/ Daventry

Place your bets now; profile to be “no longer on site in….”

No advice has been taken or acted on. It’s a standard “I thought this was 1800-dial-a-fuck and now I’m whiny”, post to drive views. User will disappear back to Tinder etc and move on with their lives. No interest in the actual scene of lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

put some effort to look preen,

or you better leave the scene,

you don't have to be lean,

just show that you're keen

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

You’ve only been on here 9 weeks and that’s not a long time at all. Depending what you’re putting in your first message to someone might explain a lot too because if it’s anything like what most men write then it’s likely to be ignored 🙄

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By *lowercandyWoman
42 weeks ago

Lancashire

In the world of fab 9 weeks is nothing

What exactly were you expecting

Single guys are way outnumbered on here and you have to sell yourself. Your profile is your shop window...

Why would I stop at yours Vs the next five...

Set your limits/interests to what you really want rather than anything and everything

Put up some inspiring photos

Tell me what you seek and what you offer

Read profiles and tailor your messages to show you actually read them and meet their requirements

While doing all this

Get involved

Used the forums, chat rooms and get out to organised social events in your area

Above all learn patience

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By *harAndBryCouple
42 weeks ago

Downham Market

Four days and not made any changes at all, even the simple things like removing the disclaimer.

Your pics are all quick selfies in the bathroom and whatever your situation, people WILL assume that if the only chance you get to take pics is when you're alone in the bathroom, then you're married or attached.

The nonsense about being in a Catch-22 about verifications.....get to some organised socials or clubs. Doesn't need to be play meets, just verifications in person to prove you leave the house and aren't one of the many, many, guys that just want to chat, can and make meets that they don't turn up for.

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By *carlett And GreyCouple
42 weeks ago

Carshalton

A lot could depend on the messages you send. I delete any single man who just says hi, or sends an unsolicited dick pic, for example. We're not looking for single guys at the minute, but if one approaches with a respectful message, I will at least give them the time of day.

Do you send a face pic with your 1st message? Maybe that would help. You can set it so that it's removed from the message once it's been read once.

Lots of luck, anyway!

Scarlett xx

"Hello all,

I keep winking and messaging people but never get any responses. I like to think I'm not that ugly, and I’m clean, respectable, and polite, so I don’t know where I am going wrong.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you

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By *bi HaiveMan
42 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

My 2p.

Get a variety of photos up. Visuals matter.

Put some meat into the bio. It's your chance to sell yourself, tell people what you are and are not looking for and show some personality.

Delete the pointless disclaimer. Aside from legally being useless and irrelevant (as stated in the site FAQ's) people will see it and assume you've just copied it because a few other have one. Which comes across as lazy and lacking imagination.

And don't rely on sitting behind a screen. There are many organised social events in South Wales and across the bridge. Great for networking, finding friends and making connections and far, far more effective than just having an online profile ever will be.

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By *uliette500Woman
42 weeks ago

Hull

You have only been here nine weeks OP that's nothing on here.

Consider most women look at your profile before they even read your message. If the profile doesnt catch their eye your message will either get ignored or deleted.

Your profile is more legal disclaimer than anything else. As stated by a few others here take it off as it it pointless.

Fill out your bio with more about what you want and what you can offer and add some decent pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
42 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 29/07/25 17:48:56]

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