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Endless chat

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
44 weeks ago

Is it me or does this piss anyone else off? I completely understand you need to chat 5/10 even 15 messages to see if the person gels or is your type.

But needing essays or learning more about the person. I mean are people looking for a penpal?

Why not arrange a social or just say you’re not interested in the first place?

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By *lue NotebooksCouple
44 weeks ago

Corralejo/ Merseyside

100% agree, we’re here to meet not write love letters don’t mind the odd chat with people we’ve met before but yeah would rather people just say if they’re not interested and move on

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
44 weeks ago

East Sussex

Make it clear in your first message.

We get a fair few men asking if we'd like to chat but they're never clear what they want to chat about (although I can hazard a pretty good guess ).

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By *ucka39Man
44 weeks ago

Newcastle

I prefer the endless chit chat as you are learning more about them which adds to the connection/chemistry

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By *edditchCouple8077Couple
44 weeks ago

Redditch


"100% agree, we’re here to meet not write love letters don’t mind the odd chat with people we’ve met before but yeah would rather people just say if they’re not interested and move on"

We are the same,few messages then meet(where we can chat and see if we fit all together),not in to pen buddies or stories tellers

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By (user no longer on site)
44 weeks ago

ChatGPT (gentlemanly penis treatment)

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
44 weeks ago

your head

Funnily enough, its okay for people to like different things. Some people like longer conversations and some don't. Just look for people that like the same things as you.

Personally I'd rather spend longer talking to someone and getting to know them and that's okay too.

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By *arialoueWoman
44 weeks ago

Doncaster

I prefer to chat for a reasonable amount of time ,then make a decision weather to meet or not

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
44 weeks ago

Coventry

It can often take a bit of time to arrange a meet and we can't really judge chemistry till we've met in person. So we don't actually want to chat too long online before we meet. We tend to like just enough to gauge if we think there's compatibility and then simply ask can we save futher chat to when we meet in person (bar sorting the practical arrangements). To be fair most most people seem perfectly happy with this plan too. There's absolutely no point in chatting endlessly untill you've met in person.

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By *xposedInTheMaleMan
44 weeks ago

Cambridgeshire

So it seems that generally couples want to exchange a few messages, and then meet. Single women generally want to chat for longer.

And single men want to meet after one message.

Is that fair?

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By *wendolineFoxWoman
44 weeks ago

Chester

Just bear in mind where the power/danger balance lies; it shouldn’t be a surprise that, in general, solo women want to be a bit more certain about the other person/people before meeting.

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By *rMrsBiCardiffCouple
43 weeks ago

Roath

[Removed by poster at 20/07/25 17:26:29]

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By *rMrsBiCardiffCouple
43 weeks ago

Roath

For us, not only is it essential to have a nice bit of back and forth to see if there is chemistry and mutual interests, but it also exposes a lot of pushy people.

It doesn't usually take long before they start losing patience and becoming pushy.

And then we know we aren't compatible.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
43 weeks ago

Coventry


"For us, not only is it essential to have a nice bit of back and forth to see if there is chemistry and mutual interests, but it also exposes a lot of pushy people.

It doesn't usually take long before they start losing patience and becoming pushy.

And then we know we aren't compatible."

That for us I a big bonner killer. We struggle with the flexibility to arrange something. So it can take some time and we explain this. Pressure and being pushy is big no from us. Good things will happen when they're at everones speed. After all there's always other fish in the sea in the mean time for them any way.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Piss us off? Nah far from it.

Given our vanilla life meets can be hard to arrangr and we tell people that from the off.

The ones that stick around and actually form a rapport will get to skip the social and come straight over for the fun.

But that's not to everyones taste and that is fair enough.

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By *Mclovin.Man
43 weeks ago

East Yorkshire

I prefer to chat and get to know people first, bit of chemistry/connection kinda feels better..

But that said, if someone just wanted to meet, id go with the flow.

The ones ive gotten to know by chatting, I actually see regularly

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By *herrybakewellCouple
43 weeks ago

Staffordshire

We like to chat, but also like that first meet ASAP.

There's no point chatting for weeks on end, to then meet and find they arent as you expected.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

Too much chat usually never leads to a meet.

So many talkers on here and couples are the worst offenders.

The serious ones will ask for a phone call usually.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago

it all depends on what the "10-15" messages contain.

Don't get p'd off just ignore them and save them and yourself wasted time

Why keep on chatting if you feel like that is what i would say - just saying.

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By *artorialMan
43 weeks ago

weymouth

I don't mind long runs of exchanging messages, what gets my goat is the lack of effort to respond to the last message I sent, kinda looks like they haven't bothered to read it 😡

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By *morousCouple8Couple
43 weeks ago

Cumbria

Love long message exchanges! It’s definitely makes me likely to move up the meet too and I’m so wet just meeting them knowing all the things we’ve discussed and makes the sex epic because we each know what makes the other tick 🥵

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By *issmorganWoman
43 weeks ago

Calderdale innit


"I prefer the endless chit chat as you are learning more about them which adds to the connection/chemistry "
. Agree and people often give themselves away, when you've chatted a while.

If you expect meets after only a short while, be upfront about that, but don't expect that everyone will be happy doing that op.

Many will say on their bios if they want to meet relatively fast or expect a connection.

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By *ikeC81Man
43 weeks ago

harrow

I never know when to ask people to play!!! I think that’s the problem I end up chatting and never really just ask

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By *tandardIssueNerdMan
43 weeks ago

Telford

As a single guy, it can be difficult to gauge when to bring up meeting, unless the profiles are very clear about expectations.

If you bring it up too fast with the wrong, you'll just be labelled as someone who only cares about getting laid ASAP. Take too long, apparently you will be a timewaster.

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By *ustBoWoman
43 weeks ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I chat for a while before I meet anyone. The one time I didn't and met someone for a social turned out to be the worst and most dangerous meet I've had on here. So now when I'm meeting anyone new I chat for a while as I find people cannot keep up a facade for too long.

If that doesn't suit someone they can move along as I will never risk it again.

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By *eroLondonMan
43 weeks ago

Mayfair

I'm a slow burn and I tend to chat for weeks and weeks, a month or several months, before looking to meet. Also, I'm not a swinger and I'm not looking for expedited meets - at least not until I've had the first social. I'm here for casual dates, socials and romantic trysts.

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By *lderflowerAppleWoman
43 weeks ago

Hampshire

I want to feel safe if I'm meeting a complete stranger, and that means I need to know a bit about them and build some trust. Whether that's through chatting in messages or through a video call is largely dependent on how the vibe is from outset.

But one surefire way of having me backing out completely is pushing me to meet within a couple of messages!

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"Is it me or does this piss anyone else off? I completely understand you need to chat 5/10 even 15 messages to see if the person gels or is your type.

But needing essays or learning more about the person. I mean are people looking for a penpal?

Why not arrange a social or just say you’re not interested in the first place?"

Just put this in your bio: “Unless you’re willing to meet after a maximum of 10 messages, I’m not interested” That will definitely sort this issue out for you. You’re welcome!

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By *uliette500Woman
43 weeks ago

Hull


"Is it me or does this piss anyone else off? I completely understand you need to chat 5/10 even 15 messages to see if the person gels or is your type.

But needing essays or learning more about the person. I mean are people looking for a penpal?

Why not arrange a social or just say you’re not interested in the first place?"

A single woman is worried about her safety. Meeting a complete stranger even in a public place can be a daunting experience. Personally I prefer to chat for a while before agreeing to meet.

I'd be backing right off if someone was trying to push me into meeting after 5/10 messages.

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By *am2025Man
43 weeks ago

Leigh/Wigan

About 15 messages but ping pong texting and getting nowhere raises a red flag to me. I had up to 60 plus with someone still not met they have reported then as think its a male troll acting a female.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"About 15 messages but ping pong texting and getting nowhere raises a red flag to me. I had up to 60 plus with someone still not met they have reported then as think its a male troll acting a female."

My guy, you’ve been here for three weeks... Also what makes you and your profile such a stand out that guys are gonna pretend to be women to catfish you?

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By *am2025Man
43 weeks ago

Leigh/Wigan


"About 15 messages but ping pong texting and getting nowhere raises a red flag to me. I had up to 60 plus with someone still not met they have reported then as think its a male troll acting a female.

My guy, you’ve been here for three weeks... Also what makes you and your profile such a stand out that guys are gonna pretend to be women to catfish you? "

I'm not new to the lifestyle been swinging about 15 years. Been on this site years back. Not said its anything to do with my profile . Was only given an opinion. On back and forth messaging.

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"About 15 messages but ping pong texting and getting nowhere raises a red flag to me. I had up to 60 plus with someone still not met they have reported then as think its a male troll acting a female.

My guy, you’ve been here for three weeks... Also what makes you and your profile such a stand out that guys are gonna pretend to be women to catfish you?

I'm not new to the lifestyle been swinging about 15 years. Been on this site years back. Not said its anything to do with my profile . Was only given an opinion. On back and forth messaging. "

Okey dokey

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By *rMrsBiCardiffCouple
43 weeks ago

Roath


"For us, not only is it essential to have a nice bit of back and forth to see if there is chemistry and mutual interests, but it also exposes a lot of pushy people.

It doesn't usually take long before they start losing patience and becoming pushy.

And then we know we aren't compatible.

That for us I a big bonner killer. We struggle with the flexibility to arrange something. So it can take some time and we explain this. Pressure and being pushy is big no from us. Good things will happen when they're at everones speed. After all there's always other fish in the sea in the mean time for them any way."

Thats how we feel.

We can't help but feel if someone is going to rush chat and rush a meet, they may also be likely to rush the actual act of play and be selfish in the process.

Rushed play has a place (usually between people who know each others boundaries and turn ons very well) but typically it's far better to take your time and enjoy things rather than racing to orgasm.

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By *armandwet50Couple
43 weeks ago

We are out of the UK

Does "Hey" or "Hi" count as a message?

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By *heFatFuckerMan
43 weeks ago

London

My response to “Want a chat?” is “I’ll start. What do you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?”

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By (user no longer on site)
43 weeks ago


"My response to “Want a chat?” is “I’ll start. What do you think about the pedestrianisation of Norwich city centre?”"

I'm dead against it

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By *ustus5555Woman
43 weeks ago

Nottingham


"For us, not only is it essential to have a nice bit of back and forth to see if there is chemistry and mutual interests, but it also exposes a lot of pushy people.

It doesn't usually take long before they start losing patience and becoming pushy.

And then we know we aren't compatible."

This.

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