Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to Swinging Support and Advice |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi! I’m in a bit of a pickle, I’ve known for many years that I’m Bi, sadly I kept this to myself and from my wife even before we got married…. Until recently. I decided to tell her straight out that I’m Bi and that I do want to bring a guy into my life in one way our another. Unfortunately, this conversation didn’t go well and certainly not the outcome I had really hoped for. Basically it’s a hard no from her. She won’t entertain anything at all in the current situation. I guess, my question is to really anybody who has been in this situation before and how they’ve overcome the urge for guy on guy time. Now I have a to admit, she’s doesn’t know I’ve actually spent time with guys from fab recently which I know is bad of me! But I find it so difficult not to want male attention when it’s in my face! In an ideal world, I would love for her to discover a guy locally which we can both connect with, but she won’t as technically that’s cheating, but I want her to experience this and I know I’ve more chance of winning the lottery than her engaging in this way. What do I do? Where do I go next? Continue with fab in my own little world? Or put myself back into my box and say nothing, do nothing and overcome the urges with gay porn and a wank in my own time? Can you see my dilemma I’ve caused myself? " Yes I can. My opinion is that you've decided you kept an important part of yourself from your wife and she probably feels betrayed. Continuing to betray her won't help. Either continue talking to your wife and try to sort a compromise or continue with your 'secret' life. Your post refers to what *you* want. Any idea what your wife wants? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You say your looking for guys to play with but your veri is from a woman. So in actual fact is your looking for both " Yeah I’ve been verified by a women, I’m Bi, and yes I’ve played a bit! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I found an unexpected way around this through experience. MMF her with a guy and me with the guy all together" I’ve discussed the MMF scenario with her in “the moment” and seriously but sadly still not convinced it would be fun for her. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Bi or not you still chose to commit, I get it’s not an easy thing to do but what means more, your relationship or random sex. " Random sex, interesting way to look at it, I don’t see it as random, more a need that builds up into a want and must get. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Bi or not you still chose to commit, I get it’s not an easy thing to do but what means more, your relationship or random sex. Random sex, interesting way to look at it, I don’t see it as random, more a need that builds up into a want and must get. " How would you feel if your wife had 'needs that built up' and she chose to cheat on you with other guys, without telling you. Would you be ok with that? Mrs x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Bi or not you still chose to commit, I get it’s not an easy thing to do but what means more, your relationship or random sex. Random sex, interesting way to look at it, I don’t see it as random, more a need that builds up into a want and must get. How would you feel if your wife had 'needs that built up' and she chose to cheat on you with other guys, without telling you. Would you be ok with that? Mrs x" It would definitely help this situation I think! The we would both have that same thing on our minds. Would love her to have some! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Bi or not you still chose to commit, I get it’s not an easy thing to do but what means more, your relationship or random sex. Random sex, interesting way to look at it, I don’t see it as random, more a need that builds up into a want and must get. How would you feel if your wife had 'needs that built up' and she chose to cheat on you with other guys, without telling you. Would you be ok with that? Mrs x It would definitely help this situation I think! The we would both have that same thing on our minds. Would love her to have some! " It would make you feel better that's for sure. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I want her to believe in us and herself and enjoy being an adult with fun times. I know she has a kinky side, just need to unlock it somehow. " You won't unlock it by cheating on her and hiding things all the time op. Swinging is built on trust, you don't have that basis since you've been on here meeting others and keeping your real self from here. She needs to decide for herself that she has a kinky side and if she wants to act on it. Your posts seem very selfish and all about what you want. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi! I’m in a bit of a pickle, I’ve known for many years that I’m Bi, sadly I kept this to myself and from my wife even before we got married…. Until recently. I decided to tell her straight out that I’m Bi and that I do want to bring a guy into my life in one way our another. Unfortunately, this conversation didn’t go well and certainly not the outcome I had really hoped for. Basically it’s a hard no from her. She won’t entertain anything at all in the current situation. I guess, my question is to really anybody who has been in this situation before and how they’ve overcome the urge for guy on guy time. Now I have a to admit, she’s doesn’t know I’ve actually spent time with guys from fab recently which I know is bad of me! But I find it so difficult not to want male attention when it’s in my face! In an ideal world, I would love for her to discover a guy locally which we can both connect with, but she won’t as technically that’s cheating, but I want her to experience this and I know I’ve more chance of winning the lottery than her engaging in this way. What do I do? Where do I go next? Continue with fab in my own little world? Or put myself back into my box and say nothing, do nothing and overcome the urges with gay porn and a wank in my own time? Can you see my dilemma I’ve caused myself? " As said above she's said a hard no. So actually it's very simple She doesn't choose to be in the lifestyle, you do. She will be hurt if you carry on with what your doing which sounds like you want to as you've thought about that as an option. Do you live the lie and both of you not be happy Or do you end your marriage so you can do what you want and she's free of the lies If you loved her it's simple.....don't lie anymore and let her in on the decision making process. Or do you live the life | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Think I get the drift now. Thanks. Further comments won’t be helpful. " With respect and I mean this, it sounds like because you haven’t got the answer you want you’ve closed down with the hump about it! If more than one or two are saying the same thing do you not think for one moment they may all be right and your approach or attitude to it may be the problem? You said she said it’s a hard no. So what are you looking for from us…? Tactics to help you be coercive and con her into doing something deep down she doesn’t really want. Either weigh up if you can live without it or take a brave pill and release her and yourself from something that’s going to end up going wrong anyway when something is found out - and both follow a new path | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi! I’m in a bit of a pickle, I’ve known for many years that I’m Bi, sadly I kept this to myself and from my wife even before we got married…. Until recently. I decided to tell her straight out that I’m Bi and that I do want to bring a guy into my life in one way our another. Unfortunately, this conversation didn’t go well and certainly not the outcome I had really hoped for. Basically it’s a hard no from her. She won’t entertain anything at all in the current situation. I guess, my question is to really anybody who has been in this situation before and how they’ve overcome the urge for guy on guy time. Now I have a to admit, she’s doesn’t know I’ve actually spent time with guys from fab recently which I know is bad of me! But I find it so difficult not to want male attention when it’s in my face! In an ideal world, I would love for her to discover a guy locally which we can both connect with, but she won’t as technically that’s cheating, but I want her to experience this and I know I’ve more chance of winning the lottery than her engaging in this way. What do I do? Where do I go next? Continue with fab in my own little world? Or put myself back into my box and say nothing, do nothing and overcome the urges with gay porn and a wank in my own time? Can you see my dilemma I’ve caused myself? " Being bi here is neither here nor there, the fact is you say you're only on here to meet men as that part of your life isn't being satisfied but you've also met women... You should leave her so she can find a guy who want cheat on her | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi! I’m in a bit of a pickle, I’ve known for many years that I’m Bi, sadly I kept this to myself and from my wife even before we got married…. Until recently. I decided to tell her straight out that I’m Bi and that I do want to bring a guy into my life in one way our another. Unfortunately, this conversation didn’t go well and certainly not the outcome I had really hoped for. Basically it’s a hard no from her. She won’t entertain anything at all in the current situation. I guess, my question is to really anybody who has been in this situation before and how they’ve overcome the urge for guy on guy time. Now I have a to admit, she’s doesn’t know I’ve actually spent time with guys from fab recently which I know is bad of me! But I find it so difficult not to want male attention when it’s in my face! In an ideal world, I would love for her to discover a guy locally which we can both connect with, but she won’t as technically that’s cheating, but I want her to experience this and I know I’ve more chance of winning the lottery than her engaging in this way. What do I do? Where do I go next? Continue with fab in my own little world? Or put myself back into my box and say nothing, do nothing and overcome the urges with gay porn and a wank in my own time? Can you see my dilemma I’ve caused myself? Being bi here is neither here nor there, the fact is you say you're only on here to meet men as that part of your life isn't being satisfied but you've also met women... You should leave her so she can find a guy who want cheat on her" These are the words I wanted to use. To me it's not about being bi it's about you wanting your cake and eating it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Hi! I’m in a bit of a pickle, I’ve known for many years that I’m Bi, sadly I kept this to myself and from my wife even before we got married…. Until recently. I decided to tell her straight out that I’m Bi and that I do want to bring a guy into my life in one way our another. Unfortunately, this conversation didn’t go well and certainly not the outcome I had really hoped for. Basically it’s a hard no from her. She won’t entertain anything at all in the current situation. I guess, my question is to really anybody who has been in this situation before and how they’ve overcome the urge for guy on guy time. Now I have a to admit, she’s doesn’t know I’ve actually spent time with guys from fab recently which I know is bad of me! But I find it so difficult not to want male attention when it’s in my face! In an ideal world, I would love for her to discover a guy locally which we can both connect with, but she won’t as technically that’s cheating, but I want her to experience this and I know I’ve more chance of winning the lottery than her engaging in this way. What do I do? Where do I go next? Continue with fab in my own little world? Or put myself back into my box and say nothing, do nothing and overcome the urges with gay porn and a wank in my own time? Can you see my dilemma I’ve caused myself? Being bi here is neither here nor there, the fact is you say you're only on here to meet men as that part of your life isn't being satisfied but you've also met women... You should leave her so she can find a guy who want cheat on her These are the words I wanted to use. To me it's not about being bi it's about you wanting your cake and eating it." Had he only met men it would be different because he would obviously be seeking some thing his wife can't give him. However the fact that he is meeting women as well means that it's not about being bi, he just wants to cheat and get away with it | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You say your looking for guys to play with but your veri is from a woman. So in actual fact is your looking for both Yeah I’ve been verified by a women, I’m Bi, and yes I’ve played a bit!" It's sounding like it's more than being just bi, you have met other women too, so it sounds like your wife is not doing it for you anymore, why is that? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The guy has come here for advice. He has at long last been open with his wife, he admits to himself and also to his wife who he is and what he wants. It sounds like she is not interested in the real him. So it’s her that’s actually in denial. Does he love her? Why does she object? Is it because she loves him so much she wants him all to herself. She could agree to him meeting guys (not having a relationship) being safe, and also maybe giving up sex with her if that’s what it takes. Or maybe get a divorce if she is not willing to discuss his needs. Well done for taking the first step going behind her back was not the best move but it happened now if she won’t listen she doesn’t respect who you are" Not interested in the real him!....how could she know? He wasn't being the real him, he lied. Why is the wife in denial. He lied. Why should the wife respect him. He lied. I'm all for people being themselves, but the simple fact is one person lied in the marriage. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Or is it that it is very hard for guys to admit they are bi and in my case like to dress as a woman. I was sent to a shrink as a kid jsut cause I like wearing women's stuff " He had no problem in listing himself and meeting a person with bi on his profile. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"The guy has come here for advice. He has at long last been open with his wife, he admits to himself and also to his wife who he is and what he wants. It sounds like she is not interested in the real him. So it’s her that’s actually in denial. Does he love her? Why does she object? Is it because she loves him so much she wants him all to herself. She could agree to him meeting guys (not having a relationship) being safe, and also maybe giving up sex with her if that’s what it takes. Or maybe get a divorce if she is not willing to discuss his needs. Well done for taking the first step going behind her back was not the best move but it happened now if she won’t listen she doesn’t respect who you are" In no way is his wife to blame he lied to her then cheated on her with a woman. He shouldn't of got married if he didn't love his wife enough to stay loyal. He didn't respect her enough to tell her who he was. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I haven't read the whole thread but from what you said in your OP.. I'd be pretty pissed off if I was your wife. You kept something from her that really she should have known. Also the fact you have basically cheated is just wrong. I get this is a sex orientated site but it's just not cool to be doing that stuff on the sly and total disrespectful to someone you are married to. " Agreed, whilst I have her utter support in exploring, if I didn't there'd be no question, it'd not happen and just enjoy the pegging.. 😁 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
