FabSwingers.com forum: Where have all the swingers gone

By *azz Edge OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Silverstone

Six months, and we've not been able to find one respectable (and yes, good looking) guy to play with? Has swinging been banned?

And let's not even mention couples? Two years and counting!

Are others finding that it's gone quiet?

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By *ive-DeliciouslyCouple
4 weeks ago

Haywards Heath

Same

If we show interest in anyone that's winked, they then run off. Or we ask for face pics as they're profiles don't have any & there just isn't a mutual attraction. Then there are those who get cold feet or just want to send hey, hi, how are you but never go further.

We currently aren't able to meet anyway. But we will be missing out naturist camping at T.A.B this weekend

I can't be away from a supply of ice for too long.

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By *ullsfan77Man
4 weeks ago

Torquay

"Six months, and we've not been able to find one respectable (and yes, good looking) guy to play with? Has swinging been banned?

And let's not even mention couples? Two years and counting!

Are others finding that it's gone quiet?"

Plenty of decent guys on here. But unfortunately you haven’t found anyone matching your expectations as yet. Depends on who and what you are looking for.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Six months, and we've not been able to find one respectable (and yes, good looking) guy to play with? Has swinging been banned?

And let's not even mention couples? Two years and counting!

Are others finding that it's gone quiet?"

Are you being proactive and looking yourself or waiting for them to contact you?

Usually if you search yourselves you stand a greater chance of finding people you (initially at least) match what you're seeking. There's no guarantee of xourse they'll feel the same, but the offs are better than relying on incoming mail.

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By *thfloorCouple
4 weeks ago

Hove

"And let's not even mention couples? Two years and counting!"

You're not "looking for" couples or even make a passing mention so no surprise you're entirely out of the loop there.

Re. men, if you want to keep a passive approach, are you getting enough views? If you aren't, I suspect your profile has gone entirely idle and fallen into fab obscurity. Just upload a pic, put up a status update, post a meet, it'll kick things off again. Also have mobile location enabled for the local talent. Another reason to make some noise about actively looking to meet, there's a lot of out-of-date or browsing-only profiles about and more serious fabbers will skip who doesn't appear willing or ready to go.

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By *lanenakedMan
4 weeks ago

eaglesham

Don't know about swingers, but this site is full to the brim with gay men .. despite there being a dedicated gay men site apparently exactly like this but just for gay men...

My block list is longer than my hotlist .. which was never the case 10 or more years ago.

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By *lanenakedMan
4 weeks ago

eaglesham

"And let's not even mention couples? Two years and counting!

You're not "looking for" couples or even make a passing mention so no surprise you're entirely out of the loop there.

I do all that, literally zero chat .. sent items a sea of yellow. 🤷‍♂️

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By *aomilatteCouple
4 weeks ago

Midlands

Every weekend thousands of swingers go to the various clubs up and down the UK, some don't even use Fab. For those looking for "single" guys check which clubs allow them, for some it's only Fridays, some are any night.

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By *oiluvfunMan
4 weeks ago

Penrith

"Don't know about swingers, but this site is full to the brim with gay men .. despite there being a dedicated gay men site apparently exactly like this but just for gay men...

My block list is longer than my hotlist .. which was never the case 10 or more years ago. "

I had to block males from being able to contact me, because it was literally daily, I received offers of blowjobs from men, gay, bi, or ‘Fab straight’…..it was relentless

The irony being; after 13 years using Fab, I’ve never received a bj offer from a woman….

2019 was my best year in Fab, and I think many ‘genuine’ users in here would agree, this site nosedived with the pandemic…

The ubiquitous “just go to a club” one size fits any question in Fab is great, so long as you have a club within easy reach, and in my case, are not a single, straight, white male…

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By *herrybakewellCouple
4 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Same here.....where are all the couples at.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
4 weeks ago

Coventry

To be fair in our experience the right guys have always been rarest unicorns on the scene.

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By *ambridgezwingerMan
4 weeks ago

Cambridge

"Six months, and we've not been able to find one respectable (and yes, good looking) guy to play with? Has swinging been banned?

And let's not even mention couples? Two years and counting!

Are others finding that it's gone quiet?"

Firstly, couldn't help but think of Fleetwood Mac when seeing your location.

Secondly, might be worth attending clubs...

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By *tarcrossed_SwingersCouple
4 weeks ago

Loughborough

We've been away for six months and all of a sudden it seems very quiet? Our same searches pull less profiles out than before! Strange!

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By *xposedInTheSunCouple
4 weeks ago

Cambridgeshire

"Six months, and we've not been able to find one respectable (and yes, good looking) guy to play with? Has swinging been banned?

And let's not even mention couples? Two years and counting!

Are others finding that it's gone quiet?"

Of course, single guys aren't really swingers.

One problem that can happen after a few years is that you get so good at spotting red flags that everyone seems to have a red flag of some sort or other. And that you become more and more choosy.

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By *itplayssoloWoman
4 weeks ago

leeds

I'd agree, even the clubs seem quieter, at least for single men. 5-7 years ago as well, people would suggest meeting for a social or would ping a couple of messages across, now the messages I'm getting I maybe reply to 1 in 20.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
4 weeks ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Six months, and we've not been able to find one respectable (and yes, good looking) guy to play with? Has swinging been banned?

And let's not even mention couples? Two years and counting!

Are others finding that it's gone quiet?

Of course, single guys aren't really swingers.

One problem that can happen after a few years is that you get so good at spotting red flags that everyone seems to have a red flag of some sort or other. And that you become more and more choosy."

Choosy is always good though.

I've never thought finding compatible company should ever be that easy.

If it was.....I'd be wondering why. 🤷‍♂️

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By *olds CoupleCouple
4 weeks ago

Louth Lincolnshire

"Don't know about swingers, but this site is full to the brim with gay men .. despite there being a dedicated gay men site apparently exactly like this but just for gay men...

My block list is longer than my hotlist .. which was never the case 10 or more years ago. "

Got to say we agree with this, it's more like a gay site than a swingers site and as you say it was never like this in the past. Can't understand it when there's already Fab Guys site, same with our block list too.

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By *egnMaxCouple
4 weeks ago

Nottingham

We’ve met some lovelies on here, but a lot of the time it’s hard to engage. We fully expect that though as what we are looking for is quite niche.

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By *ove2pleaseseukMan
4 weeks ago

Hastings

"We’ve met some lovelies on here, but a lot of the time it’s hard to engage. We fully expect that though as what we are looking for is quite niche.

Think there swinging lol 😆

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By *azz Edge OP Couple
4 weeks ago

Silverstone

Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. We're glad we're not alone in thinking this. You'll see from our profile and verifications that we've been active for a few years, met lots of nice people and enjoyed the club scene. It's just the past six months that it seems to have gone south.

Oh, and we've tweaked our profile!

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By *an1978Woman
4 weeks ago

Wales

Also it feels life is a lot harder that it was 10 years ago.

My partner and I work a lot more than before and unpredictability of shifts means we rarely know when we will both be off.

Perhaps a generational change.

Traditionally peak swinging is 40-60 is it?

Normally the empty nesters?

Now many are still doing 2 jobs to pay the mortgage and kids at home.

And likely not the spare cash for clubs and hotels.

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

[Removed by poster at 21/06/25 08:13:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
4 weeks ago

I too think it's a lot harder than when I first joined Fab 11 years ago. But I am also 11 years older and at 61 will be outside a lot of men/couples age preferences, which is fair enough as I prefer younger men myself. There does seem to be a lack of Fabsingle men 45-65 in Bridgwater/Taunton areas who host though. Although I have to admit I am lazy and rarely do my own searching. I have a long-term FWB and a couple of regulars though...

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By *umgetusCouple
4 weeks ago

nottingham

We are finding it more difficult nowadays. It does get harder to find a ‘match’ as we get older and many of our regular friends have hung up their boots. We still live in hope though…. It’s nice to know we are not alone!

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By *e and him 2021Couple
4 weeks ago

stoke on trent

We’ve definitely found it harder to find guys and couples. But sometimes we’ve put meetings on to find a guys and loads look but hardly anyone messages. Couples are hard has there has to be an attraction on all sides but when we’ve found a connection they’ve been great fun.

We just keep looking and hopefully things will just click. Even clubs on a Friday night when it’s a night for the guys to find couple have been low on numbers so guess times and money is tight for a lot of folks. X

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
4 weeks ago

Liverpool

Sadly (although many find single men either irritating or downright obnoxious (fear in some cases)) many, many couples and single women believe they shouldn't need to be the ones to make an effort on Fab. As a result it's stagnated over the last couple of years.

Due to also being a proliferation of men who come and go and don't build themselves a good reputation organically it's created a vacuum of indifference. Personally I gave up messaging around three years ago as it was no longer worth my effort and just concentrated on repeat meets with the wonderful people I already know, along with selective club nights.

Make an effort and find out what works for you, then work around that. No sense in bemoaning that no one bothers if you don't do so either. There ARE still some great folks around.

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By *e and him 2021Couple
4 weeks ago

stoke on trent

"Sadly (although many find single men either irritating or downright obnoxious (fear in some cases)) many, many couples and single women believe they shouldn't need to be the ones to make an effort on Fab. As a result it's stagnated over the last couple of years.

Make an effort and find out what works for you, then work around that. No sense in bemoaning that no one bothers if you don't do so either. There ARE still some great folks around. "

We always try and reply to all messages has it’s polite to we think. A guys has gone to the effort to write you a message. Yes sometimes when it’s just a hi or they clearly have looked at our profile then yes we might not respond. Our profile gives a clear idea what we want, and if the message shows they’ve done it then yes hopefully if the attention is there then let the fun begin. Xx

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By *r SensualMan
4 weeks ago

London

Still plenty of swingers around, or at least that’s how I see it. Meeting people in person has faired waaaay more successful.

Way too much smoke screens in this online stratosphere, even with what I believe to be is a very good profile of mine that has a well written bio and tasteful pictures.

What are you doing to actively seek out those who match your preferences as stated above? You get out what you put in…

You know what you’re after OP so instead of waiting for it to fall in your lap, go seek it first. Proactivity over reactivity yields the best results… IMO

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By *lanenakedMan
4 weeks ago

eaglesham

"Don't know about swingers, but this site is full to the brim with gay men .. despite there being a dedicated gay men site apparently exactly like this but just for gay men...

My block list is longer than my hotlist .. which was never the case 10 or more years ago.

I had to block males from being able to contact me, because it was literally daily, I received offers of blowjobs from men, gay, bi, or ‘Fab straight’…..it was relentless

The irony being; after 13 years using Fab, I’ve never received a bj offer from a woman….

2019 was my best year in Fab, and I think many ‘genuine’ users in here would agree, this site nosedived with the pandemic…

The ubiquitous “just go to a club” one size fits any question in Fab is great, so long as you have a club within easy reach, and in my case, are not a single, straight, white male…"

Agree 100pc

I just stick to the dating apps tbh. Don't sweat about not getting anywhere on here .. it's their loss.

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By *anda2Couple
4 weeks ago

south Norwich

Well we have to add our acknowledgment to the OP and we totally concur. Maybe all of us couples who have contributed to this thread should pick a date and get together ? We all seem to share a common thought and interests xx

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
4 weeks ago

Liverpool

Make an effort and find out what works for you, then work around that. No sense in bemoaning that no one bothers if you don't do so either. There ARE still some great folks around.

Sounds like you're doing it right to be fair. I knew I was making that effort, but had zero response to a single message in over two and a half years, so gave up, as it was much better for personal confidence to stop banging my head against a wall. While I knew my reputation was good among most who know me - and in my verifications - the two things didn't match up. Just how it is sometimes. Funny old world. I've discovered it's not worth stessng over though.

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By *azz Edge OP Couple
3 weeks ago

Silverstone

That is so true!

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By *immyTaylorMan
3 weeks ago

leeds

I agree - messaged you privately as well

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By *azz Edge OP Couple
3 weeks ago

Silverstone

Definitely. We should pick a date and a club venue. We are members of Liberty Elite and Vanilla Alternative. We usually attend on Fridays as there's more of a mix with singles and couples. End of month is usually better - pay day!

Any takers?

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By *unny girl7Woman
3 weeks ago

stoke on trent/cheshire border

"Six months, and we've not been able to find one respectable (and yes, good looking) guy to play with? Has swinging been banned?

And let's not even mention couples? Two years and counting!

Are others finding that it's gone quiet?"

This has become a site for fakes and cheaters-people with a partner and they just want to play aqay without the partner knowing-there are lots of sob stories about how they are single parents etc but what they really are doing is cheating

Sickening

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By *tandardIssueNerdMan
3 weeks ago

Telford

For the past 6 months or so, it is starting to feel like I don't really belong on here.

So many women and couples complain about having way too many messages, so it honestly doesn't feel worth it to send messages anymore. Even if I write the best message, it will probably get lost in the hundreds of unreads, and eventually get mass deleted.

And if I do get a reply, it all grinds to a halt (or even end up in a block) as soon as I send a face pic. That does wonders for ones confidence!

I can probably count on one hand (maybe a bit on the other) the amount of times someone sent me a message first.

Sorry for having a bit of a rant.

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