FabSwingers.com forum: Message "read" not deleted ?

By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

I reckon if I send 10 private messages I get around 3 responses,2 deleted and 5 as read that remain read and don't get deleted.

You know where you stand via responses/deleted but how about with read?

After a few days is that similar to deleted and they simply haven't bothered to hit delete or are they half interested and considering you for a potential meet?

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By *uxtapositionMan
over a year ago

CARDIFF

Some people get so many messages they never work their way down to reading yours and will eventually bulk delete unread messages.

Don't think too much about it, just carry on looking through profiles, and send decent messages to the ones who you feel you match. No easy answer to Fab demographics

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

No mate you get me wrong I'm saying that it has been read not that it sits in their inbox as unread.

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By *pecifically1Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I don't delete my messages there and then, I do it once a week or so....so I wouldn't read anything into it..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some people get so many messages they never work their way down to reading yours and will eventually bulk delete unread messages.

Don't think too much about it, just carry on looking through profiles, and send decent messages to the ones who you feel you match. No easy answer to Fab demographics"

Agreed!!!

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By * Jay69Man
over a year ago

Bridgwater - Somerset

OP's question was 'Read but not deleted'

Don't know the answer to this one. One hopes it means they've decided to keep it for possible future reference, but could be because they've not got round to deletion?

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By *ea and SugarCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

From our point of view it can mean a few things, sometimes it's a may chat to so leave it 'pending' and then if we don't respond it can be just didn't get back to it or Sugar decided not for her x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually get round to deleting my messages every couple of weeks. Not a priority for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless you have been told no thanks or been blocked - then try again another time - but not right away.

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

Might be as simple as they haven't logged on since before you sent it.

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Ajay69 tis always good to see life from a glass half full perspective. I hope that it sometimes means they've popped the message in saved messages for possible future reference.

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By *uxtapositionMan
over a year ago

CARDIFF

"No mate you get me wrong I'm saying that it has been read not that it sits in their inbox as unread."

My apologies for the misread, but I feel what I said still applies in general, don't read anything into any message on here other than one that says : " yes we will meet you at X place at Y hour, see you there "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they're intertested they will reply.

My advice would be to ignore the sent message button and concentrate on replies only..

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Rarely try again with any blocked ones lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

We don't always answer mails straight away and wait until we have a few before we do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I click into messages, read what I can. Delete those who say hi x fancy a fuck and keep going to the end. If I have time I will reply there and then. If not, they stay in my box

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't delate them as my phone only shows about 15 messages so any thing ferther down is just lost

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

Fair play _uxtaposition nothing is certain until it happens eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

James if its any help if you are mailing couples many will leave it 'read' so the other partner can read it too before deciding whether they are interested in you. Sometimes they may either forget to delete you - or so many new messages come in they just dont get back to the earlier messages. Don't sweat it - its not something you should take personally - just keep trying xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Means nothing really, sometimes read things on the phone and don't answer due to hassle with predictive text and clumsy thumbs, Sometimes don't answer due to only one of us having seen the message, Sometimes answer on behalf of the other partner, but usually only social stuff for those we know, think we have a couple of messages that are months old that haven't been deleted yet, whilst others get deleted quickly.

Sometimes we actually answer messages, that is the only one that means anything. IF you get an answer then follow up accordingly, if not forget it.

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

From experience as you delete a batch of messages, others that had left the screen via volume from the past return if you hadn't deleted them .

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

jameslesley I can see the logic of what you're saying and yes indeed I message couples to a larger degree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From some of your previous posts, I'm pretty sure yours would be a well thought out, polite and possibly humorous message.

If I happened to check online and saw a message that someone has put some thought into then I would want to reply with the same level of thought and effort which would probably mean I would reply later on.

Sometimes tho, as others have said, once the message goes out of the line of sight (as I only use my phone to access fab), sometimes messages are

Read and then forgotten

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By *andACouple
over a year ago

glasgow

We never delete our messages. Don't have any need to as they eventually just drop off the page and automatically disappear.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Serious suggestion - don't look at your sent messages. No good can come of it.

Just assume everybody deleted them unread, and then when anyone does reply, you'll be in an even more positive frame of mind when you respond to them.

You can't learn anything from your sent messages folder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't delete my messages there and then, I do it once a week or so....so I wouldn't read anything into it.."

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By *lleyCat1969Man
over a year ago

Folkestone

"I reckon if I send 10 private messages I get around 3 responses,2 deleted and 5 as read that remain read and don't get deleted.

You know where you stand via responses/deleted but how about with read?

After a few days is that similar to deleted and they simply haven't bothered to hit delete or are they half interested and considering you for a potential meet? "

I take read-not deleted- not replied as 'no thanks'.

If I see that they've looked at my profile, I take that as the message provoked some interest but my profile wasn't to their liking.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply, even if it's a thank you but no thank you x think its rude not to.

However, I do get amused sometimes! A guy sent me a message 15 minutes ago - I hadn't got round to replying immediately, 15 mins later I went to do so - only to find myself blocked x

now that's what I call impatient!!! lol

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area

"I reckon if I send 10 private messages I get around 3 responses,2 deleted and 5 as read that remain read and don't get deleted.

You know where you stand via responses/deleted but how about with read?

After a few days is that similar to deleted and they simply haven't bothered to hit delete or are they half interested and considering you for a potential meet? "

we dont delete any at the time they all stay there until we are sure both of us read them. and then we just have a delete session every so often. so our not deleted messages mean that we just havent deleted it yet nothing more than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If they don't reply the reasons are not important to me I just leave it as that.

I don't send many messages out though to busy in the forums.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Serious suggestion - don't look at your sent messages. No good can come of it.

Just assume everybody deleted them unread, and then when anyone does reply, you'll be in an even more positive frame of mind when you respond to them.

You can't learn anything from your sent messages folder."

I think being able to see whether someone has read/ not read/ deleted mail is a bit of a mindfuck really. Would be better if it was like normal email where you have no idea. Then you can move on if they don't reply, rather than wondering why they read but didn't delete.

On our couple profile we log on at different times so leave mail for the other person to read. Could be the same for others.

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

"From some of your previous posts, I'm pretty sure yours would be a well thought out, polite and possibly humorous message.

Sometimes tho, as others have said, once the message goes out of the line of sight (as I only use my phone to access fab), sometimes messages are

Read and then forgotten "

Was liking this until the " possibly " reference

lol

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"We never delete our messages. Don't have any need to as they eventually just drop off the page and automatically disappear."

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By *issy louWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire Moorlands

I reckon 3 responses out of every 10 sent is a damn good rate for a single bloke on here! Concentrate on the ones that do reply and don't sweat it about the ones that don't!

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By *ohohoWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"Serious suggestion - don't look at your sent messages. No good can come of it.

Just assume everybody deleted them unread, and then when anyone does reply, you'll be in an even more positive frame of mind when you respond to them.

You can't learn anything from your sent messages folder."

Well said!

I delete my sent messages, if I get a reply great! If not I have no idea what they have done with the message, it's actually a lot less stressful.

I sometimes leave messages if I intend to reply to them later btw.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"From some of your previous posts, I'm pretty sure yours would be a well thought out, polite and possibly humorous message.

Sometimes tho, as others have said, once the message goes out of the line of sight (as I only use my phone to access fab), sometimes messages are

Read and then forgotten

Was liking this until the " possibly " reference

lol"
The "few" messages I do get, I read them all straightaway and reply accordingly. Delete if they are of the "fancy a fuck" or "hi how are you" variety, means they cant or havent bothered to read my profile, which is a little long but ive seen longer. I only save messages if someone has given me their no or other info, such as a pic and I want to keep it - that is because I think they are worth remembering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just means ive not deleted yet. Weve got loads of read but not deleted......perhaps one day ill hit the delete all button.

Rule of thumb for me on here or even when I was dating in the vanilla world..... if someone doesn't reply theyre just not that into you.

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By *ummy mummyWoman
over a year ago

southampton-ish

For me I have sometimes read a message but not answered straight away and before logging on again got a load new ones so that read message got bumped to new page and may not see it again for days,until I work through new messages

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By *allDarkFoxForYou OP Man
over a year ago

Winchester/London

That makes sense _ummy mummy and may explain some of my messages that remain as " read "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP why are concerned about such things. So what if a message has been read and not deleted. Don't let yourself be worried over whether it's a maybe and behind the scenes negotiations are taking place. It's not important is it, it's only sex and swinging.

Only give it thought if a person messages back with a date to meet, anything else isn't worth wasting time over.

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